Have you moved away?

[Melly_11]

My family are very against me moving. They are trying to pick out every little negative there is, and not look at any of the positives.

It makes the thought of the move (4 hours from fam and friends) so much harder than it should be. I know they care, and they are just thinking about the possibilty of not seeing us all, but its hurting me that they are so against what my little family wants.

Has anyone moved a long way away and their family have come to terms with it? :hair:

[emily09]

yes! i felt guilty for a while but got over it, I still get asked when r u moving home and occasionaly it makes me feel guilty. Just do whatever makes you happy, they will be ok with it after they r used to it.

[patsmum]

Hi
We have been on the road for 12 months. My family were great about it. My inlaws..oh dear. I know they do it out of love and missing us but, blah!
I think you need to explain to your family its only four hours!! We are in a different state!! Its either a flight or 4 day drive to see us. Four hours isnt long or far at all!
If the move is what is right for you and your family then dont let your extended family get you down.
I sometimes find it hard being away from my family, but I love the travelling part and seeing new things. We are travelling to find where we want to settle down and if that ends up being thousands of kilometers from all our family well that is fine with me.
Good Luck!

[sweet_lemons]

I moved interstate when I was 19 and my parents completely supported me! I've stayed in that state since then and my parents have been nothing but supportive! They come visit me when needed, help me to visit them, meet DF and I half way, we talk on the phone a few times a week!

I love the state I'm in now and even though my parents and brother are in another state I wouldn't go back!

:)

[Azurial]

You have to do whats right for you, No matter what they say its your life to live.

I moved countries a few years ago, back now but thats besides the point. My Mum was very scared for me as we were moving to a foreign country where we didnt speak the language and had intentions of being there for about 5 years. She was supportive but would still point out all the things tha could go wrong, sometimes I felt like she was still trying to control me but I knew in my heart that she just wanted what is best for me. I dont think she would be a very good mum if she didnt make sure I was prepared, had researched it and was making the right decision for myself. Dh and I are in the process of buying a small farm, only about 16 kms from my parents farm and even now she is still 'playing the devils advocate' I can respect what she is doing, they have bought and sold a hell of a lot more property than I have, but it still sh!ts me to tears some times..... just gotta remember that she's only doing out of love and because she cares and I really wouldnt have her any other way.

Dont let them get to you, do whats best for you and your family, and they will come to terms with it.

:hugs: :cheersdears:

[Nicky2006]

It will pass! I moved 16000 km from home. Everybody told me I could never live without family support. It is super hard but I am not unhappy neither do I regret. 4 hrs is really not a distance! Would love it!! Especially from the inlaws lol.

[Bambibambino]

We move entire states every 2 years! Never lived any closer than 3 hours from either of our families.

4 hours is just a lazy drive! You could alternate monthly visits with no drama.

[Melly_11]

Thanks guys, I guess we are just so close now, that they think we are moving so far away from them. They have problems with making the effort to come and see me now so I guess the extra 3 hours is a bit daunting and seems impossible to them.

I know its just cos they love me, but hey, it could be worse!

This way, we will have a small mortgage for a 4 bedroom home with enough room for all my children to live comfortably, including the one Im carrying now.

[mummyturtle]

hey melly, we moved 3.5 hours away from family at the beginning of the year. it was for dh's work so they cant really complain but sometimes i do get the odd, it will be so hard because there is no support how will you survive with a new baby, etc. but i kind of figure that its up to me to decide how hard that will be and i have already decided not as hard as other people have it im sure. plus its not really a bad drive and we head up there once a month or so.

thats great about a bigger house and more space. it sounds like you have made the right decision to me!! fingers crossed they all come around soon and stop being so negative!

:hugs:

[Nex]

I've lived 800klm away from my family for 8 years now.

If I was a mere 4 hrs away, I'd have someone here every weekend! That's a friday afternoon drive!

I miss them dreadfully, they come to me about once/twice a year and I go for a 2 week visit yearly.

I wish I was closer, but fortunately DH's family is close (sometimes too close :D) but we get along very well. So I do have some support.

4hrs...would be heavenly.

[Pawzette]

Yes!! We moved half way across the globe!!! My parents live in Ontario Canada, as well as all the rest of my family. I am the only one here :) They took it really hard. We only get to see them every couple of years or so. It makes it hard both ways. My sister was just in a serious car accident and is inthe ICU so it makes it really difficult for us being this far away also.

I think eventually they will get over it. For my parents I think it was more the fear of the unknown. They didn't know when they were going to see us again.

I find it hard at this time of year, having no immediate family at christmas time is hard! But we get over it! We are going there in April to see them all.

We just keep up to date with them with facebook. We send them photos and we use the webcam!

Don't worry they will accept it.

At first my parents really didn't want to speak to us, but it did get easier!

All the best!

[Pawzette]

i moved a crazy 22 hrs away from my family from qld/nsw border to tasmania just a month ago.

my pop was the worst. ur taking my grandkids away ill never see them. its too cold there. u wont have any money. everything is more expensive. theres no work. people have told me they hated it and its horrible etc etc etc:ecomcity:




That is EXACLTY what my parents said lol.. but we moved a crazy 22 hours FLYING time away!!! They were more scared of all the poisoneous animals here :)

[Uh-Oh]

Yes, we moved from Darwin to Sydney when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my parents first grandchild. The move had been planned for a long time but getting pregnant made it so much harder. My mum and dad have been great about it, but the guilt really gets to me sometimes - something I have to deal with.

Not once have they made me (intentionally) feel bad about moving, the move was for DH's career and financially it is putting us in a much better situation. Even when I have called my Mum sobbing because I miss them and am homesick shes the one pointing out the reasons why we are here and how much better off it is for my new family that we are here.

I had DS in August, mum and dad came down for two weeks then (mum actually made it down for H's birth!), I went up for two weeks in October, we are going back for 2 weeks just after christmas and they already have their flights booked for Easter so we do make an effort to see each other quite often.

Also I keep them updated ALL the time, I literally send emails if not daily every second day with pics of DS, its nice for them to feel in the loop.

It is such a hard thing to do, but dont let family members talk you out of something that is going to be right for your family. DH, DS & I are my family and what is right and best for them comes first regardless of what other family members might think or say as long as you are happy with the decision then go for it!

(i might add that my parents really cant say anything though, they moved us kids over to australia 15 years ago from Scotland. My Gran actually said to my mum that "it was like a family member dying" by taking us away! Melodramtic much! Regardless of distance i still have a fantastic relationship with both sets of grandparents so distance doesnt really matter in terms of our kids knowing that they are loved and missed by their grandparents.)

[Melly_11]

Wow guys, thankyou so much for your responses. Puts my mind at ease a little that Im not just being a selfish cow.

[Nicky2006]

That is EXACLTY what my parents said lol.. but we moved a crazy 22 hours FLYING time away!!! They were more scared of all the poisoneous animals here :)

Hahaha - same here! And I am still scared too! Where did you come from?

[2boybubs]

I moved to Cairns from the US when I was 22...my mum said at the time she was just afraid I would love it and never come back. Well, I have only been back for visits and its very hard. Especially since I have their only grandkids here now. But they visit once a year and hopefully next year the boys will be old enough to travel with overseas so we can visit them too.

I was speaking to a woman i met the other day who said her youngest of 3 daughters has just moved to brisbane (a 2 hour flight) and she is devastated...Oh my goodness my mother would be beside herself with joy if I were that close!