My Son is 3 and still not Toilet Trained!

[babytoo]

My son is 3 years old and still having a lot of accidents during the day and of course still wet at night (which I am not as concerned about). During some days, I can have about 6 wet fully undies in a span of 2 hours. He is happy to be wet, happy to be soiled and he is also in denial about having done it. We have been training for about a year now and seem to be no better off than when we started. Another strange thing is when I take him out to a shopping centre that he knows, he somehow manages to stay dry and easily use the toilets. Sometimes at kindy he is dry all day and as soon as we get home, he wets! Just wondering if anyone is in the same situation, has had similar problem or has any advice for me, further referal or any contacts on the Gold Coast you can suggest for me?? I know they say to stay calm but it really is difficult and we have on occasion punished him which I know is wrong.....help anyone??

[Trix]

I'm sorry i can't help you babytoo, but all I can do is let you know that you are not alone. My sister is going through the same thing with her son, and when she's spoken to others about it, some of them say their sons took a long time too. He's 3 1/2. She's getting very frustrated now and has tried everything - so if you find anything that works or if anyone else here can give some good advice, i'm also listening, i'll pass it on to my sister!!!

[babytoo]

Ok so I have come up with my own plan for my son and will keep you posted as to how it goes! I read about star charts so started one and my son is so excited that he is saving up stars to get a 'doctors kit'. Yesterday was the first day and it wasnt a fantastic day - I was at work so my husband had to do it but today he remembered and got up first thing this morning and went to the toilet and did number one and number two's! I thought I was hearing things, lying in bed and hearing the toilet seat go up, I wondered who was in my house!! Anyway, 3 stars today and no accidents (yet).....keep u updated with progress!

[mimi]

Though I can't speak from my own experience at this age - DS actually did it all himself really!! By the age of two he was using the toilet 99.9% of the time - at first we realised that he wanted to use the toilet and then we found that if we left his jocks off, then he would always use the toilet :confused: Certainly NOTHING to do with anything we did - other than the pants-off thing - so I think it is the 'luck of the draw' so to speak. They are all different.

BUT I have heard that putting things in the toilet for little boys to aim at [Cheezles or FruitLoops have been a couple of suggestions!! :D] they are much more keen to give it a go - but if they haven't actually got the concept of knowing when it is going to happen, I am not sure if this can actually help?

Wishing you luck with it!!
:)

[babytoo]

Thanks that sounds like a good idea! I am also going to decorate the toilet with some pictures and interesting things I think....might make him want to sit in there and look around!! ;)

[ceejay]

Hi. Our eldest son is now 5 and a half and he was like this. It took aaaggggges. But we eventually got there. We found that he was much better at kinder and daycare - I think because they know how to deal with it and there's no emotional involvement, so it's all a bit calmer. We even had a bad spell at the start of this year, when his new brother was born, when we returned to the occasional dirty pants. Now he's old enough that we're really tough and say that he has to deal with it - we provide water, a rag and clean undies, the rest is up to him. It sounds mean, but it keeps everyone fairly calm, means he gets no attention for it, and makes it clear that it's his problem. We tried all sorts of other things - bribery, star charts, treats, the whole works. Nothing worked except time - and staying as calm as possible (which, believe me, I know is just about impossible but as soon as they realise it's a big deal then it only becomes even more enormous). Good luck!

[maybe1more]

This is a really still question but for the mothers with boys, did you start to train your boy to sit on the potty or toilet or stand? Im a little confuse on how i teach him. He is two years old and once summer hit i want to start training him.

[babytoo]

I started him sitting but now he chooses to stand up...probably after watching daddy do! Had a shocker day with him yesterday..poo and wees in undies...oh the joys of it all!

[mimi]

Hi
Yes we too started with the sitting on the big toilet - with a 'baby-loo' seat [ has a smaller seat and a step up ] ... found this saves a lot of unnecessary mess!!:eek:
I can't remember when he progressed to standing ... but just at his own pace ... Hmmmm maybe I could encourage him to start sitting again!! :D
:)

[Ky]

Have you ever heard the saying "good things take time"?

Sometimes you just have to sit back and apply this to toilet training! Some kids get it straight away while for others it is more of a longer learning process.

I would put your little man back into nappies and try again in a couple of months! It isn't worth either of you getting frustrated or stressed over and it isn't a failure on either side.

I know nappies are exy and that we all want our kids out of them as soon as possible, but I say, go the no stress way and you will have a happier and more confident "toilet using without accidents!!!" child when he is good and ready!

[sugar n spice]

My four year old is slowly getting there. He sits on the toilet. he wees most of the time but still has accidents though all poohs unfortunately are in his jocks or he waits till night time when i put pull ups on. it is sooooo frustrating.

bride 83 :confused:

[babytoo]

oh - i am glad i am not alone - have you been to see anyone about it?