Do you have children that dont live with you?

[Fitmumma]

I have two boys DS1 is 13 & DS2 is 11, they live with their dad, I stupidly gave him custody 8 years ago & it has been a nightmare ever since, does anyone else have children that dont live with you but you have contact? What is your relationship like with the other parent?
My boys father is so insecure, he controls absolutely everything that goes on & I let him just to keep the peace & to try & make the best of a bad situation for my boys, he hasnt let me see them in two months because I p***ed him off, so we are now heading to legal aid for a conference.
There is so much more to it.....does anyone else face these battles?

[DoubleDelight]

Hi

I could have been reading my own story in some ways. My sons went to live with their father 2 yrs ago. Over that period he made sure that I spent less & less time with them.

When I fell pregnant again this was just the excuse he needed to turn them against me. As a result I have very little contact with them.

My heart aches every day. My sons have not even met the twins.

I hope everything works out well for you.

[Blessed Mum]

In answer to your question, no I don't - both my kids live with me & I just wanted to offer you guys one of these each :hugs: as I cannot begin to imagine not having my babies with me all of the time. I hope you both get happy endings to your stories, I think the only advice I can give is don't give up, at leats by persisting they will know (one day) how much they meant to you :hugs:

[Fitmumma]

Thanks Blessed Mum, I guess it has taught me to really appreciate my DS3 & new baby DD, not seeing my two older DS's has made me appreciate my little ones alot, it is very, very hard not seeing my boys whenever I like, but at the moment not seeing them at all is hard on all of us, my DH is great he loves my two older boys just like they were his own & treats them no differently than our DS & DD.
My ex hates the fact that my two older sons love my DH & is so threatened by it that since me & my DH have been together he has done everything to stop me having any relationship with them, yet years ago when I was in a defacto relationship with a guy who treated me like **** & was a no hoper my ex would let me have the boys all the time.:banghead:
Double Delight, It would be nice to chat to someone who is in a similar situation, if you want PM me.

[KarniF00l]

my children are in my care fulltime so i can't imagine what you go through. I just wanted to give you lots of these :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: little guys because it must be so damn hard for you.

[trina73]

i have 2 dsd and my ds and ttc#2 and i wouldn't have it any other way. they are a joy in our lives, even though we do get a lot of **** from their mum.

[Foxy]

I just thought I'd post my mum's story to give some hope to those of you who are not living with your children.

Here is the very brief version:

She divorced my dad and remarried 3 years later to a man she thought was perfect. He was a fairly good step-dad to my brother and I, but as they were both in their late thirties they thought they could also have a child togther. My mum had my half-brother when she was 41 and had very bad PND (I am talking the worst kind). My step-father offered no support to her with either the baby or PND. Anyway, they ended up divorcing and he convinced her that she would never win custody because of her depression and that he couldn't even trust her to have weekend visits etc. So basically he got custody and my mum was lucky to see him once a year...... Her self esteem was so low, she never believed that she could have had him anyway.

Fast forward 17 years later, my brother landed on mum's doorstep to talk and they now have a fantastic relationship, they see each other all the time and he understands that a lot of what happened in the past was out of mum's control. He knows that most of what his dad told him about her were lies. (He now also has a big brother and sister and a little nephew).

Anyway, I thought I'd post this to let you know that there is always hope for the future. Hugs to you. :hugs:

[Gumby]

Hi. I can sympathise with your storys. I had 2 DD'S to my ex partner who was verbally abusive but also didnt put time into our relationship. I had PND after the birth of our first daughter plus my mum died 4 weeks later. It was a terrible time in my life but we did move on and have another daughtger some years later. Mine and ex dh relationship fell apart and we broke up only to have ex dh use my pnd and unstability as an excuse to take my children.
We now have shared care of the children and are in the middle of a family custody battle. Him and his family still use my pnd from 5 years ago as a reason I cant have the girls. It kills me because he hands the girls off too his parents, his friends or anyone who will have them when i would kill to have them more. When I have brought this up in court, his family lie for him and say I am just showing how immature I am by lying. It frustrats me, I know I havent lied about anything to do with him and I know he has lied about me (have read his affadavit). I am hoping because I have been truthful that maybe karma will play a part in what happens to my baby girls. Sorry for the babble, thanks for listening...

[MummyCharmzy]

*big hugs* to those of you without custody or full custody of your kids. DS is not DPs biological child howver there is absolutely NO contact with his bio and never will be. DP is adopting DS when we get married :)

I cant imagine how hard and painful it must be to be away from your children *hugs*

[mich71]

:hugs: :kiss: to you been their a very long time ago all i can advise is go see legal aid you can not file for custody as it does not work that way any more its called resentnacy also get the kids seprate reps which legal aid pays for with the kids having that it will be easier to get family report done by someone indipendent form the court also keep records of all converstations you have with ex and any thing else that is relevent such as denided access your boys are old enough that there lawyers will listen to what they want and they are not inerested in talking to dad when there at that age if you have anymore questions pm me