View Full Version : This whole step-family thing is confusing and annoying!
Filling out DS' enrollment forms for next year. I fill in my details as parent/guardian #1.... then get to parent/guardian #2 section... *crickets singing*.
Lost!
I've put DP down as 'stepfather'...
But do they want his "father" aka sperm donor?
I always feel like this. Everyone assumes DP is his dad anyway because SD (sperm donor) is never around anyway.
But then SD will have to pay for Friday after-school care....
:freakingout::freakingout::freakingout:
rapidlygrowingbrood
13-12-2010, 15:24
Hi, we put down me (step-mum) and BM partner as emergency contacts after parents but left parents as as 1 & 2. For After school care and vacation care separate accounts so all four "parents" are under each associated account. Its more for emergency contact. If SD isn't reliable I would put him further down the list. Also if you have issues the office can be given court order or information with regards to SD access.
Fuchsia!
13-12-2010, 15:29
depends who you want the school to call in case of emergency or in case they need to speak to a parent?
So in your case, yes i would put the step father down.
Thanks for that - yes, I've put his partner down as an emergency contact. She's a real sweetie so I've put her down, along with my parents who are all very reliable. SD isn't very reliable at all, never answers calls etc.
I'm ensuring I have a separate account for after school care as I'm not paying for his days any more (I pay all child care now, even his access days). I basically want nothing tied to him because he's just too unreliable. If he doesn't pay, he can pick him up at 3.15 pm :kickme:
3peasMummy
13-12-2010, 19:39
Hey I just went through this with my DS and DD's enrolment with daycare.
I asked my DP if he minded that I put him down as an emergency contact and have authority to pick the kids up if I was sick or running late from work. He didn't mind at all.
I didn't put him down as the "parent 2" as we're not living together and well, Although I know we'll get married some day, I wasn't ready for it. Kinda silly but felt a little too soon for us to be labelling him as my kids "parent".
I didn't however put my DD's Bio-dad's contacts down. He doesnt see her and rarely asks how she is. Plus he's in another state so I very much doubt he'd come pick her up anyway.
When it comes time to fill out my DS's kindy enrolment papers I might be in a better frame of mind to put DP down as his "parent 2".
But yes our Daycare just assume DP is their dad. Acts more like a dad then either of their real fathers does.
i alwasy put dh(so stepdad) as guardian 2 and her real dad as an emergency contact
Phew. Thanks for the replies, I feel confident that I've done the right thing. knh's mummy DP doesn't mind at all that I put him down as guardian #2 because we've lived together for some time now and it just makes sense that he be #2 as he shares the pick-ups and drop-offs with me and is also the one to look after DS while sick.
Thanks again lovelies :goodvibes:
SassyMummy
14-12-2010, 11:52
I don't bother filling in the ex's details... not that I really know them anyway.
I either put, "N/A," or "He's in England and chooses to have nothing to do with his own daughter," if I'm feeling angry. :o:p
RunningWithScissors
14-12-2010, 12:30
I struggle with it too! Although my FOB is an idiot, he wants his name on everything to do with them , but deals with nothing! DH (Stepdad) does all the fatherly jobs.
Glad you sorted it out though :)
I struggle with it too! Although my FOB is an idiot, he wants his name on everything to do with them , but deals with nothing! DH (Stepdad) does all the fatherly jobs.
Glad you sorted it out though :)
Pretty funny, isn't it? If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. My ex is the same - wants all the rights but zero responsibility. Sh!ts me to tears but, unfortunately, it appears legally they do have all the rights but can shirk the responsibilities that don't suit them!
RunningWithScissors
14-12-2010, 12:42
Definitely!
Ive given up completely on FOB. I feel sorry for him, I feel ashamed for him.
DH has just taken a week of his holiday pay to pay for an $800 dental treatment for DD because her wonderful sperm donor wont help with half the cost as its my *fault* for taking her to the dentist when I could have just taken her to the GP and got pain relief :cantbelieveit:
What a MAN eh? Put your name everywhere but let another real man pay for your children.
Definitely!
Ive given up completely on FOB. I feel sorry for him, I feel ashamed for him.
DH has just taken a week of his holiday pay to pay for an $800 dental treatment for DD because her wonderful sperm donor wont help with half the cost as its my *fault* for taking her to the dentist when I could have just taken her to the GP and got pain relief :cantbelieveit:
What a MAN eh? Put your name everywhere but let another real man pay for your children.
Same! I give up trying for child support etc even though DS is sending me broke. Funny thing is, XDP cracked it when DS was calling my DP 'Dad' and yet my DP is DS' provider and is the one who tucks him in at night!!
What real men eh, leaving others to provide for their own children..
And what were you thinking - taking your DD to the dentist :cantbelieveit::laughing:
DaughteroftheForest
14-12-2010, 12:47
Pretty funny, isn't it? If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. My ex is the same - wants all the rights but zero responsibility. Sh!ts me to tears but, unfortunately, it appears legally they do have all the rights but can shirk the responsibilities that don't suit them!
Isn't that the truth!
Glad you got it sorted. I did the same thing when I was enrolling DS in primary school.
RunningWithScissors
14-12-2010, 12:54
Ive never recieved a cent in CS! Not one. Im not going to fight it either. My kids are old enough to see where the things they need come from. He is shooting himself in the foot. The best thing I can do for them is to let them figure him out for themselves. Its the sweetest revenge..he will cause it himself! They have everything they need thanks to me and DH so the need nothing from that fool!
Yep...silly me, dont know what came over me that day, wasting money on unnecessary dental treatment that could have been fixed for free at the GP! Suppose I could kick her out at 16 and make her pay for her own teeth when she is older!
DaughteroftheForest - I see you have another Ben 10 wannabe :laughing: My boy tells me he needs to wear his one and only Ben 10 singlet (I can't STAND Ben 10) in the mornings so he can be Ben 10 for the day lol.
RWS, you're right. I've seen it before. My cousins father purposely made life as difficult as he could for their mother and once they grew up they understood how much of a douchebag he is. Of course, he was the fun Disney weekend dad growing up who would feed them junk and let them watch TV all day (as my ex does too) but once they grow up they realise who put the effort in. I must say, I feel sad around here when I read that others want to skimp on presents or paying for their child's needs to get back at or hurt the mother... it really is only the children (and in turn) them that they are hurting! I feel no more pain when my ex is an idiot, he's the fool - not me!
RunningWithScissors
14-12-2010, 13:36
Oh yes, weekend dad syndrome! Gotta love that :cool:
He used to do things to spite me..like not giving the kids their school uniform that he paid for (1 jumper!! 5 years of school and he bought 1 jumper..should have called Oprah and told the world how wonderful he is!) so I bought them new ones the next day...and did the same with everything, Id just get them new things, eventually he gave up as he had a houseful of stuff that they never used :laughing:
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