HELP ME please...sorry a bit long!

[jembelina]

I don't even know where to start... basically...what is going on at night??!!! my DS is pretty perfect during the day but nightime is becoming a bit unbearable. We began using cc about a month ago anfd it has been very successful - he can now put himself to sleep and goes down for the night at a reasonable time (6pm as opposed to 11pm) all of which is great.
However.... I guess I am getting one good night out of about 10. By a good night I mean - down at 6pm, feed at 10 & 2 then up at 6am. The rest of the time anything could happen - some nights he will wake 2 houly from 6pm-2m; others he wil sleep soundly till 10pm then after his feed will whinge on and off for up to 2 hours, dozing in between - or sometimes this happens at 2 or 3am; then some days he decides he is ready for the day at 4am (I don't think so!!). And this is just taste of the chaos that is my night life :eek:
I don't mind feeding during the night but I made the decision to only feed 4 hourly - if he wakes before then I resettle. I thought maybe he is going down too early but we struggle to make him last till 6/6.30. And i'm quite happy with that as it gives DF and i some quality time before i fall aleep on the couch :p Also, I don't mind getting up early(5.30/6) if I'm getting a bit of sleep.
Not really expecting any answers, just sympathy i guess. I'm feeling really stuck. Thanks in advance ladies!

[drewid]

Hey there

My 6 1/2mth old sleeps from 6 - 6 and I only feed him once (if he gets up). SOmetimes he sleeps right through (yippee) but most often he wakes once, at around 2 or 3. I feed him then. If he wakes up at any other time, he gets resettled. Also, I won't feed him before midnight if he wakes up unless the situation is REALLY dire.

I found that when I gave in and fed him before midnight some nights, that he grew to expect a feed at that time. So he has learnt that waking up then isn't going to do anything for him.

Oh, and we also try to get DH to do the resettling part - that way Andrew is not expecting a feed from me if he sees me. DH has been great in helping out this way.

I'm confident because i KNOW he can sleep through the night, and does it often enough that I know he doesn't (usually) need a feed in the night. So we at least get a first stretch of unbroken sleep of about 8hr+.

Anyway not sure if this is helpful, but I found 'laying down the law' regarding night time feeds to work for us.

[BJelly]

Have you tried bonjela? Maybe he's teething? The good thing about bonjela is that it is a local anaesthetic - so if he does soothe, you know it definitely was his teeth. It also works almost instantly - unlike panadol, which takes 30 mins or so.

I tried to avoid using panadol and bonjela as long as I could, but my Bub was also very unsettled, and I thought I'd give it a go even though I couldn't see any teeth coming through - it worked a treat - the first time I tried the bonjela, she went to sleep in my arms - it worked so quick, I was a bit worried that she'd OD'd or something, but she was simply that tired.

Otherwise, maybe he's going through a growth spurt?

I know how demoralising it is when they can't sleep - it's quite scary feeling like your routine is spinning out of control. Hope it gets better soon.

[Tea Lady]

You poor thing - I feel your pain! It makes the whole day seem dreary when you don't even get a proper sleep at night. I don't have any great advice sorry, but at least the cricket is making a change from the Pro-activ and the sms dating ads!

Lucy

[jembelina]

Thanks guys,
I have been thinking of getting DF to do the resettling as i've heard it works well. I'd like to say that i can decipher all his cries but in all honesty, i just can't. The shrill-mummy-please-don't-make-sleep-when-i-want-to-play cry is dreadfully similar to the if-you-dont-feed-me-know-i-will-explode cry, hence a big part of my problem as i end up giving in thinking he must be hungry. I think i'll give Dad a turn and see how that goes. btw, wish he was teething than i'd know what to do!! he has 2 teeth so i know the signs.

[draught]

I have had similar problems with my daughter, which I have now recognised came largely from the fact that I kept feeding her at night. I was justifying it to myself "oh it is 11pm, she must need a rollover feed", or "well 3am is close to 5am, she must be hungry" etc. Once I just said no more feeds between 7pm and 5am she started to sleep through. If she does wake she will either resettle herself or will resettle with a small pat on the bum. (Or I ocasionally sneak in a feed - but that inevitably leads to her starting to wake several times a night again....and so we have to start again.)

So my advice, for what it is worth, is to make the call about whether you want to feed during the night or not. If you do, then be prepared to have a baby waking at all times (which doesn't bother some people). If you don't, then be prepared for a couple of nights of an upset baby before he gets the message that night is for sleeping, not feeding.

I also say - while teething causes problems in some babies, if we blame everything on teething, we are in danger of missing signs of illness on the one hand, or of never sleeping ourselves on the other. I am not saying don't give them pain relief if they are in pain, I am saying seperate it from your decision on how to deal with sleep, if that makes sense?!

[jessica]

Hi, have to agree with Draught;

So my advice, for what it is worth, is to make the call about whether you want to feed during the night or not. If you do, then be prepared to have a baby waking at all times (which doesn't bother some people). If you don't, then be prepared for a couple of nights of an upset baby before he gets the message that night is for sleeping, not feeding.

My little one didn't sleep through until the day she hit 9 months! The same day I stopped night time feeds!! She got the message in about 2 nights - has slept through ever since - BLISS!! :D

Good luck!

[lil monkey]

How do you go about dropping night feeds? We have just been sticking the dummy in bit then we are up more times sticking the darn thing back in all the time!

[Benandrewsmum]

Hi.....My little guy has slept through pretty much from 6 weeks.... here is how we fluked it (emphasis on fluked it!!)...

Up until about three months of age we used to give him his last feed about 9pm.....even if he was asleep we used to wake him up and give him a "dream feed".......we found that this last feed was so beautiful and calm and really filled his little tummy and got him through until about 5am or 6am.

Then at about the 3 month mark we started a new routine of bath, feed and straight to bed around 7pm....by then I think he was so used to sleeping a long stretch that he just naturally kept sleeping all the way through...

Anyway, the moral of the story is that looking back now, I think the "dream fee" was a good way to progress to teaching bubba to sleep through....

Good luck with everything......

Cheers

[jembelina]

thank you for all your support and ideas!! Especially Theresa, you encouraged me to do what I knew needed to be done but didn't have the heart to do!! Night before last I stopped night feeds, bub woke quite a few times but really didn't protest as much as I'd expected. Last night, to my surprise, he slept through 6-6 :D :D :D I heard him wake up a twice, buut resettled himself before i even had time to think about getting up!! Let's hope this isn't a fluke and that it lasts!!! Looks like he might be dropping a day sleep now so that will be a whole new adventure :( What would I do without you guys??!

[draught]

Congratulations to both of you!!!
Enjoy the extra sleep - it makes me a much nicer person when I have a uninterrupted 8 hours I can tell you!!

[katesmum]

Like all the other mums, I feel for you - it is hard work when they don't / won't sleep.....

Kate is 5 months old.... she has a bit of a checkered history... at 6-8 weeks old she slept from about 8pm to 6am and we thought 'wow, how good is this' and then around 3-4 months started waking every few hours....

Last thursday we started the 'tweedle' (i think its controlled crying) progress and after 2 nights (which actually werent that bad - just a one bout of crying at 4am for 40 minutes) she is now back to sleeping through. she goes to bed at 6.30ish and gets a roll over feed around 10.30am and then we dont hear from her until 6.30ish - some mornings I have to wake her up!!! The 2 nights she did wake, we resettled - no feeding.

Like you I was feeding on demand - anything to get everyone back to sleep and 'maybe she is hungry??' guilts. Her daytime sleeping has improved as well as I apply the same techniques.

Best of luck

:p