View Full Version : Getting nervous....
So I am finding out in a week what i am having, and i am scared!
I already have a gorgeous 2yr old DS and would desperately love to have a little girl as this will more then likely be our last.
However i will be over the moon with another DS (ok a little disapointed...) who can become best friends (hopefully!) with our DS1
The problem lies with my and my DH family.
I have been reminded on numerous occasions (like everytime i see them) that i HAVE to have a girl. My SIL has two boys and desperately wanted a girl but could have no more children and on my side we only have the one girl who is now 12 (She has always been the absolute favourite, mine too! - other then my DS of course!!)
Actually the only person who wants a boy is my husbands nana who despises girls..:rolleyes:
So it is a fairly boy dominated family at the moment.
I feel everyone will be very disappointed if i have another boy and not be real excited or close to this child if it is a boy (i do know thay will love my child no matter what, just not as much as a girl IYKWIM)
I am so scared of "letting everyone down" and worried that their disappointment will become my own aswell.
Im sorry for the long post but feel i needed to get it out but didnt feel i can discuss this with my family. My DH is just excited to have a baby - boy or girl.
Gender preference disappoints me. I know you will love bubs no matter what sex but to think
I want a girl and my whole family wants bubs to be a girl but if that little baby growing inside you isnt the preferred sex, how upsetting it would be to know you weren't what your parents hoped for.
Maybe im being over sensitive and i didnt mean any offence to you. Just my general opinion.
A baby shouldn't be treated differently because of gender, and how sad of your family if they were to be very disappointed.
All that matters is a healthy baby, im sure you feel the same.
I understand wanting a girl but to be "disappointed" is quite disheartening.
Hope you dont get upset by my post.
Well, actually I do think your post is a touch upsetting Missymoo. Gender disappointment is very real and very valid. Just because you don't understand it and haven't experienced it doesn't make it less so. Maybe this isn't the right section to hang out if you don't understand gender disappointment.
Baileysmummy - good luck for your scan :hugs: I hope you are having the pink bundle you and your family are craving. If however you find out you are having a blue bundle have you considered keeping the news to yourself until after the birth? You could say the baby wasn't co-operating etc. I think not many people would be silly enough to express disappointment when the perfect little baby is here, regardless of its gender :goodvibes:
IKWYM as my parents have continually said that I will have a girl next (because they did, logical huh) and I think in fact I will have a second Ds.
Good luck again for your scan :goodvibes:
Thanks alot bambibambino!
You have made me feel alot better!
I was a little put of by missymoos comments but wasnt quite sure how to respond!
Starting thinking maybe i am being selfish/unreasonable. It has taken me a long time to voice it as i was afraid of what others might think.
Will i be disappointed of not having the baby girl always dreamt of having: yes.
Will i be disappointed for having another gorgeous DS: Not in a million years!
Thats a good idea about keeping to ourselves if it is a boy, especailly seeing as i already have all i need for a boy so wont be out buying things people might see!
second time mumma
Good luck for your scan BaileysMummy08.
I understand completely how you feel. Before I fell pregnant at the beginning of the year, DH and I had decided that this would be our last. The whole way through my pregnancy leading up to the morphology scan I was not only convinced I was carrying another girl, but I also hoped the baby was a girl.
At the scan I didnt need to be told that my baby was a boy, I could see it for myself straight away.
I wont lie, I shed more than a few tears. But not because my baby was a boy, but because he wasnt the girl I thought I was carrying. It's more than normal to grieve the baby you didnt get.
I took a few days and let myself grieve Gypsy (that's the girls name we picked out), and then I started to get excited about the fact I was having a little boy.
Benji is now 2 months old, and I can 100% say that I love my little man more than anything (well maybe equally as much as his big sister).
I like Bambibambino suggestion of keeping the sex to yourself. I think it's a lot like baby names, before you have the baby people will tell you that they dont like the name you've picked out, but once the baby is here most people arent silly enough to say anything to your face.
:hugs: again for your scan
is it more that you don't want to deal with everyone else's disappointment? Because i think they are most likely just being silly about it, and will love the baby no matter what. I'm sure if it is a girl they're not going to be heartbroken. I'm not saying gender disappointment isn't real, of course it is and must be horrible, but i can't imagine an aunty or uncle would be that upset over it. I imagine it's a big family joke which isn't very funny for you :no: i agree on not telling anyone either way. You'd think at least your SIL would get it, maybe have a chat with her and see if she can get them to back off a little :hugs:
Yes Fearless it has lot to do with my family and how they are making me feel.
I will be a tad bit disappointed to be not having a girl i dreamed of but it would soon turn to excitement that i am going to be having a bubba boy who will be a completely seperate little human being. Just as second time mumma said, it will be greiving the baby i wont have, not the gorgous one i will have.
Im just worried my family will be disappointed and show me alot of sympathy for the fact i am having another boy. I really dont want that, will make it seem a bigger deal then it actually is IYKWIM?
I will have to come back and let everyone know how it all goes! (although knowing my luck bubba wont be in the right position anyway!!)
ITS A GIRL!!!! :cloud9:
Yay congrats. I hope i get that same news in a couple or weeks too.
What wonderful news :cheerleader1::babydust1::cloud9::FemaleSymbol:
Congratulations on your little pink bundle, enjoy breaking the happy news to your family :D
DH and i are mega excited, though DH is a little freaked out as he does't know what to do with a girl!
I assured him it would be no different from DS. One tip he did have for me though was that i had to wipe front to back everytime!:rolleyes:
Obviously already something i know quite well!
All the family know now and are all very very excited and the majority rushed to the shops to finally buy pink!
second time mumma
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