where is Everyone ... have you all Moved ??

[cazzz]

where have all the 40 + people gone ?

[sunnyflower]

I'm here :)

[WorkingClassMum]

Waves - I'm here!

[quitecontrary]

I'm here too - I haven't posted around the 40+ threads for ages - we used to have a good chat thread going.

[seaflower]

I thought I'd drop in and say hi. Maybe I'll try and hang out here more. I'm 44 in a few days time, and I've got a 3 1/2 yr old and 5 yr old. Started a family by accident very late! Now I'm a single mum too as of 12 mths ago.

[bgbgbb]

Now I'm a single mum too as of 12 mths ago.

:hugs: that can't have been easy

I've been battling chronic sleep deprivation, not so much with my 8mo twins, as you would expect, but with a very naughty 3yo DD. I'm hoping next year she might sleep a little so I can stop aging at an accelerated rate!

[seaflower]

yeh, gosh that sleep deprivation thing hits you harder I think when you are over 35. Mine are sleeping badly at the moment as we are staying at my mum's for xmas, and I'm feeling it!

bgbgbb, I just read your signature and realised how many kids you are dealing with, wow! And I find it hard to get enough sleep with two! All the best, onya for doing the big family thing, hope your three year old starts sleeping better soon. It must be incredibly hectic but lots of fun. I've got a good friend with 4 kids ranging from about 2-6, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

[fluffyboo]

Hi there
I've just discovered that I'm pg - at 42 years old :eek:
This is my first, DH and I have been married for just a year - we had a mc about this time last year
Just getting started on the journey, but wanted to connect with some other world-wise people to help me along!
Cheers

[bgbgbb]

bgbgbb, I just read your signature and realised how many kids you are dealing with, wow! And I find it hard to get enough sleep with two! All the best, onya for doing the big family thing, hope your three year old starts sleeping better soon. It must be incredibly hectic but lots of fun. I've got a good friend with 4 kids ranging from about 2-6, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

I never planned 6, I was an accountant travelling the world when an Irishman knocked me up,stuck to me like glue (& kept knocking me up)!:laughing:

I am getting a little more sleep. One night after the 3yo did her usual messing around I just told it to her like it is. She was so shocked she's not played up since!

Fluffyboo, congratulations! Don't be overwhelmed by the whole age thing. I had my twins just before my 41st birthday. I constantly heard the 'at your age' spiel, but despite that my babies both came out with really high combined screening %, were born healthy (just early because of being twins) and I have more energy than most women half my age. I am a firm believer than you are as old as you feel.:p

[fluffyboo]

Thanks bbggbb (oh I think I got that wrong LOL)
I know lots of people have healthy babies in their 40's, but thanks for the reassuring words :) - I just hope I'm one of them!
I'll just be a lot more comfy when I have a nice scan photo of a healthy bubs in there!
Cheers
S xx

[seaflower]

hey fluffyboo, congratulations!!

Don't be too stressed about the effect of your age on your bubs. I had one at 38 and one at 40, and my score on that screening test thingammy was way lower than most of my younger friends.

I've found some of the challenges of being older were that my body seemed to suffer more in pregnancy than younger friends, and I still feel the sleep deprivation more. But I reckon being older can make you emotionally very strong - I've had a very difficult separation recently, and I've got through things I didn't think I could get through, and done things I didn't think I could do. And I'm really proud that through it all I've always done the best for the kids.

I think another advantage of being older is that you have had a life. I've never regretted having my kids and losing my lifestyle (my first was a late accidental pregnancy) because I've already travelled, had my fun party party days, had good times of flitting around with heaps of friends etc etc. Sure the downside is I'll be 60ish when they start uni, and as I'm single now I'm going to be rather financially challenged for a fair while. But I've done a fair bit of the good stuff in the past, so devoting myself to my girls is easy.

All the best, try not to worry!

[fluffyboo]

Thanks Seaflower
I totally agree with everything you said - I did 4 years of IVF with the ex with no success (which contributed to the breakdown of the marriage), and here goes husband #2 knocking me up with no help whatsoever LOL

It says to me that the universe knows when you're ready to be a mum, knows that the relationship I'm in now is 1000% better than the first, and the time is right. Funny that when I m/c last year we didn't have the right level of health insurance, I'd just started a new job and our house was too small for a baby - now all that is fixed and this bub is looking like a sticky one!! The time is obviously right for me and if the universe decides to challenge me with a bub with health issues then it's because I can cope with it. I've already decided not to have any invasive screening tests cause there's no way I'm terminating, so why bother putting myself through the stress and danger of m/c.

Off to the GP this arvo to start the ball rolling properly and get some info on when this bub is arriving. As it was a total surprise I only have a vague idea of when LMP was so will have to get a scan to confirm.

Thanks for the good wishes girls, will keep you posted
Xx


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[quitecontrary]

Seasonal Greetings to all of you!!
How nice to see a bit of chat going on here!
Good luck with your appointment this afternoon Fluffy! How exciting to be pg after a bit of tumultuous journey in the past few years.
We are going through the whole "should we or shouldn't we" 3rd child thing. So many factors to consider plus if we're going to even try we need to start. I think after convincing dh that we shouldn't have another in August this year he is waiting for me to say that I don't really want to start trying again. We would never have a Whoops baby - he takes care of contraception and takes very good care!! I think now that Master T is nearly 2 I don't feel as snowed under as I did a few months ago. Arrrgh - I don't like being indecisive.
Apart from all that - we had a funny old Christmas. My older sister decided to pick as many fights as she could on the day - which was dull really. We had a morning picnic on the harbour then we cooked the turkey etc at our place, and had what ended up being dinner really in the garden which was lovely. The kids loved the whole Christmas thing - and they played well with their cousins. Felt a bit shellshocked by the end of it with my big sisters atrocious behaviour, but I've decided to make Peace my theme, and concentrate on "today" - all that digging up of yesterdays is dull - and you never know what will happen tomorrow.
Well, I know what will happen for us tomorrow - we are heading up the coast to a cottage near the Hunter for a couple of nights!! Such fun, and spontaneous too!
Hope all well with you all!

[bgbgbb]

Happy New Year girls!!:celebrate:
I'm feeling quite hungover, which is totally not in line with what happened last night. Had 1 glass of wine, went to bed at 10.30, party around the corner kept waking me up, then DH came to bed and kept me awake til 4.30 with his snoring at which point the twins took over with their teething til 5.30 (times like these I wish they were not breastfed and so reliant upon mummy):o

Seaflower, you make some good points about being an older mother. I too feel like I've done all my travelling and partying and can advise my children much better on making decisions with their own lives.

Something else I've discovered, especially since meeting other older mums at school, is that we're generally less rigid with everything we do and believe in regarding pregnancy and raising kids. So many younger mothers today are all about the kids. They've never really had the chance to live for themselves and so when their kids come along they let them rule the roost, often making spoilt little brats (I've had a number of altercations with these rigidly thinking mums on the other threads). Whereas we older mums know what its like to have enjoyed our own space for a lot longer, and are just as happy to let our children entertain themselves as we are to entertain them ourselves, so we can still re-claim some of that precious 'me' time.

Do you other mums agree?

[quitecontrary]

Happy New Year!!
Thought it was time to say hello to all the 40 somethings out there in Bubhub land who are wondering who is going to post here next!
I'm yet to notice any real differences between older and younger Mums around the place as so far its only been playgroup and preschool for us. Both the privileged realms of the sahm mums really - well not entirely I suppose, but thats what most of us are from my mothers group.
By the way, I love the free-range-kids woman, and when I was pg with my dd I got a great book called "Kid, we were here first" which is a funny kind-of read about keeping your own identity whilst parenting!
We had a wonderful NYE break - the little cottage we stayed in was a real winner, we all loved the location, the pool and the cicadas which nearly deafened us!
Hope you are all going well in 2011!

[*Sparkles*]

Hi,
I'm hoping I can join in too :)
I'm Hels and I have 2 boys aged (almost) 4 and the youngest just turned 2. I have been a member of this forum for quite a while but I haven't posted all that much for a while, just lost touch I suppose.
I had my boys in my late 30's and suddenly I find myself in my early 40's which is quite daunting to me to be honest! So I'm really pleased to have found a thread like this. I find that the kids help to keep me young though. I'm working from home at the moment and the boys go to childcare 3 days a week, it's a nice balance.
Looking forward to chatting with you all :)

Hels.

[Amara]

Hi everyone,

I'm 44 with a 2.5 year old, single for 2 years. My son came along when I least expected it, when I had completely given up all hope of being a mum. It was an easy pregnancy, not so easy labour, relaxed bubba and now a full on toddler. I've never felt sleep deprived but am finding things harder now he's getting older & more active & messy etc. I don't keep up with the housework anymore as he just wrecks the place as quickly as I tidy it up.

Until recently I was working 3 days a week but got retrenched. I hope to get something similar but am in no hurry as I got a nice payout which will allow me to have a few months off. I am looking but I want to make sure I get something I'll be happy with as I was not happy in my last job. I have not seen anything I want to apply for yet.

My son has been at home with me 7 days a week for the last 3 weeks & it's been exhausting. I had planned to have 2 weeks leave at Xmas so he was not booked in to daycare but then of course I got let go. The week before the planned weeks off he got sick so couldn't go to daycare so it's been 3 weeks straight & I'm just not used to it at all. He doesn't go to his dad for weekends yet so I don't get a rest unless he's sleeping. The good news is he's back in daycare 3 days a week from Monday so I'll be able to get the house clean & tidy again & also get a bit of me time during the day, something I have missed over the last 3 weeks.

Just realised how late it is. Better go to bed.

[seaflower]

hi everyone

Amara, know what you mean. I had my girls late, after I had well and truly decided I was never going to have kids. I found myself single in my late 30s, and thought I'd never have time to meet someone nice, get to know them, get married and then have kids. Instead it all happened the other way round, I met someone, got accidentally pregnant, we then moved in, and then separated about 5 yrs later (as he wasn't actually that nice). But, means I now have my girls, which I wasn't expecting.

Bgbgbb - I'm probably more of a helicopter parent myself. I'm backing off now the kids are getting a bit older, but when they were younger I was definitely hovering over them at playgrounds etc. I put that down to being a bit older, as I knew there was no way I was going to be able to have another one if a anything happened to these two.

I'm finding an issue of being an older single mum of very young kids, is the idea that it is quite likely I won't re-partner. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart, and love the idea of a true partnership based on love and respect etc, and have always sorta believed that if one relationship didn't work out, another will come along one day. But, I'm sorta in a weird demographic. Men closer to me in age seem to often want to have a family of their own, which I'm just not going to provide. Men much older than me probably don't really want to date a woman with young kids, they have either done the kid thing or don't want to. And men younger than me, well, I've found they are usually just after one thing, and it ain't good conversation. Plus, I'm really determined to give my girls stability, and not risk my home with another live-in relationship. So I'm possibly staring down the barrel of being single until I'm 60. Gosh, can't see myself dating at 60. So maybe I'll be single now forever, that is an OK thought, but maybe not the outcome I was expecting for my life.

[PrimaDonnnaGirl]

Hi everyone. Thought I'd join in. Have been reading with interest this thread and the challenges of being the "older" mum. I've done it all... Been the younger mum ( dd born at 23) then was 27 and 31 with my first two sons. Then at the ripe old age of 33 my first dh decided to trade me in for a 22 yr old... So was a single mum for 4 yrs. Then I met my current dh totally unexpectedly and well long story short we had our beautiful boy/girl twins in both our fortieth years!! So now I have 5 children including 2 teenagers which makes for some interesting family moments! I can truly say though, being a mum this time round has been so different - I was pretty freaked initially about having twins but have coped so much better than I did with the other 3 single babies... Why? Still trying to work that out... I think I realise that they grow so quickly and the twins will be teenagers before I know it - I revel in every moment - even giving in to their insistence of breastfeeding every 3/4 hours every night!!
Nice to meet you ladies anyway because it is different being a mum of little ones in your 40's. Some stuff I read on here I think- god I was once that young, niave, hopeful and starry eyed!!

[fluffyboo]

Hi
So interesting reading your different experiences of motherhood at 40ish, so glad I connected with this group

Seaflower I totally get you re dating and the challenges that age presents. I was so lucky to meet DH who was open to the thought of having kids (he already has a son who he adores) but not devastated if it didn't happen (as I told him it probably wouldn't)

I've been for my first OB appt and scan, bub was hiding so gave me a huge fright when we didn't see him straight away, but he's there and kicking around (must be a boy, he's trouble already). 9w2d today so a fair way to go yet, still haven't told anyone :)

Have a great weekend girls


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[42Tracy]

Hi Ladies

Can I join you, I think I qualify lol I'm 44, fell pregnant at 42, had my son at 43. I also have done the "whole age range thing" lol I had my first son, Ashley when I was 22 and then had my daughter (who is now our angel) at 32.

Both my boys are born on the same day, 1st Feb, just 21yrs apart. I have to say I have found motherhood a lot easier now that I'm older, I've got so much life experience to offer my youngest son and a lot more patience lol

Looking forward to getting to know you all :hyper:

[bgbgbb]

Hi Trace!

Welcome to this thread. We keep stop-starting with our chats on here, so hopefully a few of us can keep it kicking!:D

[42Tracy]

Hello :))

I'm carless for the next 4 to 5 days, I had a prang and now it's in for repair. I live in quite an isolated area so had to get the car mechanic to drive me home as I couldn't find a cab who would take my bubba.

We also had our 12mth check today, he's lost a bit of weight due to not being well for the last week, high temps, rash and off his food. He still has a slight rash on his body but he's developed a nasty rash around his lower nose and around the sides of it. I think it's a teething rash as the CHN noted his fourth tooth was almost through. He's also had the runs today and it had that sour smell IYKWIM.

I can't wait to get my car back lol

[quitecontrary]

Thought I should give this a bit of a "bump". Been wondering where all the over 40 chatterers are!
Am in the midst of "school" holidays for my little 4 year old dd, so we're having a pyjama day, indeed the kids have both just gone down for their afternoon naps. I get the feeling that they are both going to sleep, as we've had a busy old time of it the last few days!
Hope you're all doing well! Would love to chat again soon x

[Bemused]

Just thought I'd finally pop in and say hi. I'm 43 and had my one and only, a little girl, 12 weeks ago. All going well, although I'm terribly tired today, so giving myself permission to just slum it around home for the day. Tried to get motivated to get us packed up and go to the shopping centre to actually do something with the day, but realised I didn't have the energy, lol.

Hopefully hubby will come home early, then I can leave the little one with him, and duck out with the dog to feed my horses. It gives me a little time away, and gives the dog a chance to stretch his legs.

So lovely to see there are so many of us over-40's! :)

[quitecontrary]

Hello Bemused!!
How lovely to have a baby girl! No wonder you're feeling a little tired, I bet you've had a busy old time of it. Though I have to say I had/have to get out most days too. And I packed up my kidlets this morning and went to the local plaza. Not that exciting but its a wet old day here today, we needed some groceries and we quite like a trip to the shops. Cause for the kids it means they get a doughnut and get to split a milkshake - I get a skim capp and a bit of a walk around the place!!