Free Birth [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

demeter

02-09-2006, 22:40

Anyone at BubHub considering having an unassisted (or free, or pure) pregnancy/birth? Or has anyone already experience free pregnancy/birth?
I'm having my mind totally blown by the literature out there about it, sounds incredible.

From Unassisted Pregnancy and Childbirth Australia (http://www.purebirth-australia.com/):

This kind of childbirth does not have someone acting as a care provider, OB or midwife. There is no one present to direct how labour or birth goes for the birthing woman other than the woman herself.

There is no need for procedures like timing contractions, checking dilation, checking the heart rate of the baby or the labouring woman and so on. Birth becomes simple.

The woman simply labours and gives birth in whatever ways that she feels like, trusting and knowing her body, her baby and the safety of unhindered birth

spiritedfamily

02-09-2006, 23:48

I would say that I feel the birth's I have had at home with my midwife have been very unintrusive...she barely touches my vagina or belly while I'm birthing...she only checks the heartbeat as she needs to (not often) and the baby's head. I am free to move around as I need to, I have dim light and I birth in water...I prefer the presence of my midwife...she allows me as much freedom as I like...and keeps my interests at heart at all times...

FourAngelKisses

03-09-2006, 07:59

All 3 of my kids were born in hospital and I very rarely had the midwife touch me. I think they checked the heartbeat twice with a doppler and I had 2 internals. I did have an episiotomy with my first, but he was 11lb so that's understandable.

I actually think it is VERY dangerous to not have your pregnancy monitored though.

Funkychicken

03-09-2006, 08:21

A girlfriend of mine has had all three of her children at home, freebirthed! The first one the midwife just didn't get there so her DH delivered her baby boy. The second one I think was planned as a freebirth but a midwife was on call if necassary, but her DH and 1st born attended. Her third bub, born 5 weeks ago, was a freebirth with DH and two DS's in attendance to witness the arrival of their little girl. She is an amazing woman who has more confidence in her body than any person I have ever met. :)

Pippi Longstocking

03-09-2006, 09:10

If I ever manage to convince my husband that we need to round our 5 up to an even 6 kids, I would definitely be freebirthing. I feel as though I cheated myself last time and I want the opportunity to give birth rather than feel as though my babies were "delivered".
I had so much unnecessary intervention with all of mine - inductions, ARMs, oxytocin drips, fetal scalp monitors....:( . I didn't need them and I should have refused. But in a hospital, the power is taken from you and you ar e forced through emotional blackmail to comply - "your baby could die!" :gloomy: .

I KNOW my body can give birth. I labour easily. My babies were never overdue, my gestation time is just longer than the "norm". My babies have all been born easily, with no tears. Infact, the only problems I have ever had was unnecessary monitoring, intervention and irritating midwives telling me not to push, my body "couldn't" be ready in one breath and then catching my baby in the next.

Women need to take the power over their births back. Birth power does not belong to Obs, or to hospitals. It belongs to the labouring woman. It is time to reclaim it.

borntobemummy

03-09-2006, 09:34

the idea of unassisted birth really appeals to me but totally freaks :eek: out DH, I probably need to find more info to show him. But I probably wouldn't be able to do it anyway as it would be a VBAC and too risky.:crying:

demeter

03-09-2006, 10:01

Free birth is when you don't have an ob or a gp or a midwife present. It's unassisted, no medically trained personal there. The birthing woman is her care provider, and she may hire a doula for support, or she may simply rely on close family and friends.

Them, loved your post!

borntobemummy, there's a forum attached to that site I found, and there are women there who have had VBAC free births. Is there anyone here who has done that, or plans to? I imagine the thinking behind it is similiar to that of women who HBAC.

becca74

03-09-2006, 16:54

Personally, a free birth appeals to me......but I still like the idea of a midwife 'holding the space'. I dont think I need medical or hospital intervention as most 'problems' in births can be easily sorted by the wisdom of the experienced midwife, without bells and whistles (ie, machines and instruments) - usually a simple maneuver does the trick. When you are in the 'throes', especially for a first time mama to whom all this is new, someone guiding you when you are 'losing the plot' (this does happen, especially when you hit transition) and guarding you is a beautiful thing.

I dont know if there will be a next time with me, but if there is going to be a next time, I would still have a midwife - but as I now have more faith in myself, her job is to be the big mama bear guarding the cave door whilst I labour, iykwim. I would love to have the baby with her merely in observence.

Because I had a lot of cr@p in my head from my previous c/secs, I needed her there for DS4 to keep me focused. If I didnt have that cr@p, maybe a doula would suffice, but personally, I like having my guardian angel midwife soothing and comforting me during labour.

Women's faith in themselves has been severely damaged :crying: and I think it will take baby-steps to change this scarring on our souls. We also just dont have the access to births that women once had. I mean, how many births do western women witness in the flesh? Women who freebirth in primitive cultures are exposed to birth extremely frequently. Women in our society are usually only a witness to a birth when it is their own. We just dont have that high level of instinct and faith (tho I do believe when it gets to the nitty gritty, we have a subconcious instinct which could hypothetically get us thru) that these other women have.

I pray that this could change.......ultimately, it would be beautiful if our society got to a point where we are healled from this horrid attitude to birth, and all women have the confidence and faith to free-birth......

but we have to crawl before we can walk, before we can run ;)

I wish I had the faith and confidence of a free-birthing mama......it is something I am working on developing within myself....:D

Pixie

03-09-2006, 17:53

I would not have the confidence to have one + I doubt I could considering my first child, but hey if you're confident go fot it!

LittleBoysRock

03-09-2006, 20:43

I would not have the confidence to have one + I doubt I could considering my first child, but hey if you're confident go fot it!

Me too...I needed lots of assistance at the end and I was SO gald to have the help!

indigoin0z

03-09-2006, 20:56

yay - i would love to!
i have been dreaming about it for about a month..

but unfortunately not only has hubby also been brainwashed into the "no hospital = fear thing" he would never go the line without the midwife etc... i think i would feel comfortable my first time knowing there was a midwife to check with 'if' i felt i had a problem...
ive been visualising all the steps i would take, & how i would just internalise & go with it like a warrior women in africa would, for 3 days if need be...

buuuuut i have some physical issues that could get difficult - back injury + hernias, so its just a dream for me..

i'll just be grateful to get a supportive non-invasive vbac2 this time:fingerscrossed:

Immaculata

03-09-2006, 20:58

I am considering birthing at home with a midwife available for advice by phone, but I am not ready to let go of that thread. Maybe I will feel differently with more experience. Dunno.

FunkyChicken - your friend sounds amazing.

Funkychicken

03-09-2006, 22:51

demeter

04-09-2006, 08:20

For those of you who said you'd like to free birth but don't think you could or need to do some work beforehand, that site I linked to in the original post has a forum attached to it. I'm sure they'd be able to offer advice and support (I haven't done it yet, so I can't offer personal accounts to inspire people YET :D but I can suggest these:)

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/

http://www.empoweredchildbirth.com/

http://www.unassistedhomebirth.com/fathers/ This one's especially for Dad's

http://www.birthingnaturally.net/

And I just stumbled on a freebirth webring:
http://t.webring.com/hub?ring=freebirth

Becbabe

04-09-2006, 11:09

DP is adamant we will NEVER have a home birth... but I'm really happy that he's all for a natural birth and has been a great help to me in preparing using our Calmbirth stuff (hopefully he will be great in the hospital too!) I completely underestimated him, I thought all the natural birth stuff would be far too "touchy feely hippy stuff" for him but he's really come through so far & I'm so proud of him!

becca74, what a lovely post! I really enjoyed reading that.

"i'll just be grateful to get a supportive non-invasive vbac2 this time"
IndigoinOz - it's my first go but I'll be happy with exactly that - being supported but not intruded on.

MamaSage

04-09-2006, 11:17

Zan

07-09-2006, 10:24

I wouldn't feel comfortable have an unassisted birth. I have had both my girls at home and am planning on having this one at home but I just wouldn't feel comfortable and relaxed not having someone available if something did go wrong. (and as being relaxed is the most important thing, it really isn't a good option for me).
My m/w was very hands off with both my labours and births but I felt that I had the back up that she would know if something wasn't going to plan and available to give the baby oxygen if required at birth (I'm sure I wouldn't be confident at that point to be in charge).
I do like the idea in that I internalise a lot in labour and don't require any personal support but feel that with the m/w I've had I've had the best of both worlds.
I know that when the contractions slowed when I got in the pool with dd2 that just a quick look at my m/w and knowing she wasn't worried calmed me immediately (I had problems with dd1 and a very long 2nd stage/irregular contractions so for a moment I panicked even though I knew this was normal, but when in labour it is hard to really think through things logically I found).
Good luck to anyone who is planning one and hope they get the beautiful birth experience they want.
I think for some people too be truly relaxed they may feel they need no outside people around. I know I like the minimum of people and have said I dont' want any backup at my house for my daughters (dh can care for them if needs be, I don't require his constant support and will have others who can take them if needs be, though think this is unlikely) as I know I would be uncomfortable if there was someone else there.
Though saying that you never know this one may come so quickly it arrives before the m/w so I may be eating my words (that wouldnt' actually bother me, but I would rather the m/w was in attendance).
Zan

spiritedfamily

09-09-2006, 10:55

I am open to freebirth for this baby. My partner will not agree to a home birth with a MW, but all going well we will not go to the hospital. Having had a C-sec already I am fighting war with the hospital over MY birth or MY baby... so for me freebirth is very appealing. I feel I will know if I need to seek medical attention, we are not even 5 mins from the hosp anyway, and I have knowledge and trust and faith in my body. I have none of these feeling for the hospital. All I have for them is fear.

Have you spoken to any support groups for vbac like Birthrites (it has a great reputation) http://www.birthrites.org/....they are usually very helpful.

I know the most radical homebirth midwives wouldn't suggest a free birth after c-sec BUT they would recommend you hire a midwife to be present at your birth...as they also walk with you during your pregnancy and can monitor your progress, they become like a friend - they really do offer a caring and open support.

In my births, my midwife has been non - intervention, she only monitor as she absolutely has to and barely touches me during the whole process, unless I request a back rub, etc....DH is able to be the support we both want, the midwife is very supportive of this. The big bonus about this is you get to the freedom of moving around in your home as you wish and a professional to always be on hand. They are nothing like doctor's or OB...the opposite!

I hope you feel you can at least talk to a midwife or approach a vbac support group :thumbsup:

pickles

13-09-2006, 14:51

SilverStarfish

13-09-2006, 15:16

Each to their own, but there is NO WAY ON EARTH that I would even consider the possibility of having a "free pregnancy" (no medical checks etc) and no way I'd want a freebirth either if I could do anything about it.

What ever floats your boat. *shugs* if that's what you want and you are prepared to accept the risks that it brings, then go for it.

MamaSage

13-09-2006, 16:45

Damona - I have been to a few Birthrites meetings, and have all the literature.:thumbsup: And I know all the benefits of having an independant MW, but my partner just will not have a bar of it, so semi planned freebirth it is. It is the only way I can be sure to get the birth I want.
For the people who question the safety of freebirth, I feel in my situation (VBAC) it is a fairly safe option. If I go to the hospital, I will more than likely be put on a time clock, strapped to a bed, attached to an IV pole and monitored by vultures.. the cascade of intervention effect begins. At home, I can labour as long as I want, can walk around and be intervention free. I am literally minutes from the hospital anyway, and I am sure I will know if things are taking too long of if something is up.
My confidence in my own body is born of fear and inconfidence of the hospital protocol.
Pickles - you can still register the birth, you just fill in the forms yourself instead of the hospital staff. The forms are available at Medicare.

becca74

13-09-2006, 18:07

Carlia,

Have you thought of just speaking with an independant midwife about what you want to do (ie, avoiding hospital, partner being anti-hbac, and/or discuss wanting to free-birth)? My midwife holds an open session every thursday morning (10-12) at the Freo Community Midwifery centre (though she's gonna be away all of october). She came to the last SOR Birthrites meeting and said that anyone that wanted to come and have a chat was welcome......

I'm just wondering this, as someone might be able to come for you during your free-birth if you get to a point in your labour where you feel you might need someone, so you can still avoid hospy.....are you going the doula route?

I just wish there was a way to twist your partner around - mine took some twisting, and he was one tough nut (gave Sara, our vbac classes teacher, sleepless nights - literally! she still shudders at the memory, and cant believe we eventually won him over to the 'HBA2C side') - so maybe your partner might be 'trained' with some gentle education....heck, if it can work on my DH, it can work on anyone!!

It depends on your confidence in your choice tho, I suppose - as, if you feel instinctively that everything is gonna be totally cool, then I am sure it will all work out perfectly :thumbsup:

take care, Rebecca

demeter

13-09-2006, 18:12

Does anyone know what happens if you intentionally 'freebirth' and go to register the birth ?
I labour very easily so i wouldnt be concerned about the actual birth , i would be far more concerned if i haemorrhaged and my husband had to deal with it.
I would have to have a midwife there or on her way.
Pickles
DD 02/03
DS 03/05

There's stuff about that here (http://purebirth-australia.com/birthcertificates/birth-certificates.html) for Australians.

I like the idea of not having the added anxiety of tests and check-ups etc. of a free pregnancy.

FourAngelKisses

13-09-2006, 18:24

I really don't think free pregnancy is a good idea. If there is an undetected birth defect, the baby could die or get very sick. Anything could go wrong such as pre-eclampsia, GD....anything.

Goosie22

13-09-2006, 20:07

Anything can go wrong if you have a care provider too. The stats in Hospitals on neonatal and maternal Mortality/Morbidity arent all that reassuring.

The women who choose to have their babies this way, dont just ignore the fact they are pregnant untill they go into Labour. They are very well informed and usually have networks of wise women/friends to help them stay safe. They take responsibity for their own health and pregnancy, they dont rely on someone elses opinion.

Baby Girl

13-09-2006, 20:53

If I had known about it and didn't think child services or whatever they are called would interfere and make my happy experience a negative one I would happily avoid all the tests and poking and prodding that goes along with the monthly/weekly checkups and avoid all the interference and "medicine knows best" delivery procedures!!

I am all for it, I know my body and know it births well so if I should fall pg again, freebirth would definitely be a consideration of mine (at the very least a homebirth with a doula and midwife if absolutely necessary).

Oh, I would love not having to go and see middies and dr's and sonographers......

MamaSage

13-09-2006, 22:19

Like Goosie said, most women who choose homebirth, and more so freebirth are quite educated about the matter and have made informed decisions and done lots of research. I realise that it is not for everyone, and have I not already had one atrocious non birth, I may not have chosen this path either. In avoiding another cruddy birth, I have educated myself and I am comfortable to try it alone at home. I am not sayong I know more than the hospital staff, I am simply saying that I have made informed desicions about my birth, and choose to do it this way.
Angel_kisses, most women would be aware if they had pre eclampsia or diabetes - they would feel like **** and seek medical attention. And as for birth defects, and ultrasound is not going to prevent them! I chose to have no early ultrasound as I would not terminate if there was something wrong, so the outcome does not differ. If you would terminate, have the tests.. Women who choose pure pregnancy and purebirth more than likely would not terminate a pregnancy anyway.

FourAngelKisses

14-09-2006, 06:59

And as for birth defects, and ultrasound is not going to prevent them! I chose to have no early ultrasound as I would not terminate if there was something wrong, so the outcome does not differ.

I am aware of that, but if my sons birth defect had not been detected, he would have died. A friend of mine had her son born with Gastroschisis (??sp) and he wouldn't be here with her today either if it hadn't been detected. So they don't look for birth defects just so people can terminate.

Goosie22

14-09-2006, 11:54

Many people have U/S and nothing is detected. If you were to have a baby with abnormalities at a non Tertitary hospital, it would still need retrieval to a Tertitary hospital via ambulance before any type of treatment would be accessed.

I two women who have had EL-C/S for non medical reasons thinking its all normal, only to find the baby has abnormalities which werent picked up on U/S, instead of meeting their baby in a calm environment to say goodbye, the time they have with their baby is spent longing to touch it, talk to it, smell it all the while its life is slipping away and medical science cant help, but they block the parents last moments with useless procedures and tests, so they can know they did all they could.

becca74

14-09-2006, 15:14

I really don't think free pregnancy is a good idea. If there is an undetected birth defect, the baby could die or get very sick. Anything could go wrong such as pre-eclampsia, GD....anything.

With each child, I have been told lies at ultrasounds, all telling me that my kids have defects, and it has all turned out to be false.

I only got an ultrasound with my last pregnancy, because of the damage inflicted on me by a hospital when I was given unnecessary surgery, so I had to check I didnt have placent praevia.

I got a hospital phobia after my 2nd c/section, so this time I would have preferred birthing in a dirty gutter before birthing in a hospital.....

but that's just me...

hospitals are definately more dangerous for me to birth in than at home - a hospital gave me major abdominal surgey for absolutely no reason!

spiritedfamily

16-09-2006, 13:57

I think its important whatever choice a women makes that its fully informed and that your heart is completely at peace with your choice. I respect your freedom to choose free birth as I would expect the same respect in return for my choice for a midwife present homebirth and so on...

I was thinking that if I was uninformed about birth's outside hospital and was reading this post, it could be very misleading, it seems highly emotive and some issues have been clouded by this and in effect don't produce clarity in some areas of this discussion. Anger can work for us and can often work aginst us in that we focus too much on the feeling to drive the point than the facts.

I am watching this thread closely as this is a new concept to me and I look forward to reading more clear points

MamaSage

16-09-2006, 15:02

Well said Damona. I was not saying that freebirht is the right way to birth, as every woman has their own ideal situation to birth in. I would not consider it if I was uninformed either.

vanillabean

16-09-2006, 21:23

I would personally not do it and it would be very dangerous to have freebirth if you are a VBAC.

MamaSage

16-09-2006, 22:05

Sorry, I beg to differ. Its dangerous in the case of a VBAC to be induced, have synthetic hormones, have an epidural and EFM. And if you are in a hospital, you will be pressured into all of this.

kymmy

16-09-2006, 22:11

I am keen on a free birth next time.
I did have naural births - vaginal and drug free. I am interested in home watere birth.

spiritedfamily

16-09-2006, 22:47

Has anyone had a waterbirth at home without a midwife assisting?

FourAngelKisses

17-09-2006, 08:16

spiritedfamily

17-09-2006, 10:02

I had a hospital birth, I wasn't pressured into pethidine, an epidural or anything. I gave birth with one midwive present who only used a doppler every couple of hours (no monitoring or anything) and the Dr always arrived after the births.
So you can have a free birth in a hospital, where staff oare on hand in case things go wrong.

Thats not the case when you've already had a caesarean - the pressure is on...it takes alot of courage and strength to stand your ground. It may be different in NSW but in WA they are always ready to stick a needle in you and get you under the knife.
I only know this cause I have relative in the industry and women talk about their experiences.

In my late pregnancy with no 4...I went in for a routine check up, just to make sure everything was going fine...I was having a planned homebirth but I often have to visit the hospital when I go overdue. I had a doctor think I had placenta praevia, he sent me down for an ultrasound...I had to wait 30 minutes...that was the longest 30 minutes in my whole pregnancy as I was anticipating the possibilities - most likely caesarean. It turns out he was wrong because he ran the doppler over my belly while I was contracting with braxton & hicks and the dark mass he saw was the muscle contracting, and it hurt, he pushed really hard over my tightening belly (hits hand on head):rolleyes: the operator even critised the doctor for not using the equipment properly.

With my third pregnancy...he was overdue too and we went in again for the usual overdue checkup and the doctor says to me...you won't be able to get this baby out if you wait any longer, so he insists I come back on Monday for an induction...thank god DS was born the next day at home in water.. he weighed 11.7. If only doctor's had a little more faith in women's body's, our intervention rates would be much lower

Thats enough for me...the little I have to expose my belly to a doctor the better.

MamaSage

17-09-2006, 12:08

Exactly right - once you have had a cesarean, they are just waiting there with the scalpel. If you do not progress a certain amount each hour - the knife. If you do not have the baby within a certain time frame - the knife. If you do not have the baby before 40 weeks 10 days - the knife. All of this with no or little medical reason! That is why freebirth appeals to me. My body, my birth.
(of course as a disclaimer I would definitley seek medical attention if I felt it was needed.)
And you cannot have a freebirth in a hospital - the staff have their protocols and limitations. They have to stick to these, which means as a birthing woman your wants/needs/rights are often compromised for the sake of litigation. Sad huh?

vanillabean

17-09-2006, 15:47

I don't agree. I was not pressured into my 2nd C/Section at all, however due to a number of reasons decided for the casearean.

spiritedfamily

17-09-2006, 17:32

I don't agree. I was not pressured into my 2nd C/Section at all, however due to a number of reasons decided for the casearean.

Its great when an individual experiences a positive hospital experience/treatment. I think that most of us speak from our own experience or those of our friends and family. These are all still very real for each person...but I don't think we can deny that pressured situations exist...

MamaSage

18-09-2006, 11:00

I agree it's great you were not pressured. I am not being pressured either, but when I go into labour I will be. :thumbsdown: Labouring women don't need clocks.

becca74

18-09-2006, 12:55

I'm sorry if my earlier post sounded over-emotive - I had recently had a medical so called 'professional' tell me I was foolish for having my HBA2C, even though it was my most straightforward birth I've ever had! So was feeling a bit defensive.....:o

Duchessa

18-09-2006, 13:09

Good on you Becca, for having the courage of conviction.

Unless we end up with a another high risk pregnancy we will be definitely either home or free birthing the next time around. We will be a long way from medical help so will have to rent a place to birth in near medical facilities. DH is so supportive of staying out to fhte hospy. Its wonderful. I'm not sure how he would react to my free birth desires.

If he wasn't in the equation I'm pretty sure I would go that way...

spiritedfamily

18-09-2006, 13:37

shell25

22-09-2006, 15:28

Easier for you to read Sarah Buckley's "Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering" then for me to tell you, it has all the research in it about free birth, cascade of intervention, effects of drugs on mum and bub, parenting... everything.

We free birthed for our first bub, as much as we could for a Birth Centre birth.
Due to the RBH policy, which only changed recently, due to certain people saying how dangerous it is to have MW only care. You are now required to have the 18 wk scan (morpholidgy) to be allowed in.

DP and I knew our date of conception and when we would have the scan (which we didn't want, we know the risks for and against scans and we were/are willing to stand by them).

We made the mistake of believing that the first MW we saw, (not birth centre) had the right dates and we were wrong, so we had the scan moved to an earlier date, this was done at 12wks, and as I knew, at this stage the placenta was low lying. All the morpholidgy was done here, we had the pics to prove it.
We scared the clinic when we showed up asking them to be as quick as possible with the scan and to not take the extra pics for fun! We said we know the effect it has on bub and no thanks. You can imagine the response.

Because the scan was showing the palcenta as low lying, (we beg to differ as you could see it was to one side) and the 12wk scan is SO different to the 18 wk scan (bull) we were told we had to go back for another scan when we were 18wks.
I know that bub hated it as much as we did (I was so ill after the U/S, bub was moving around all day and was hiding his head all the way through it...feels like a jack hammer in there for them)

We said no to having the full 18wk scan again, we only wanted the palcenta U/S, for size and position, which is all that really matters for birth. (for us anyway)
Scan showed...Wow the palcenta had moved up higher and was fine...well der.

Following this we had our appts. with the midwife (We did really like hearing our bubs heart beat). We had a four page birth plan stating everything that was to happen (well not happen), no clocks, no intervention, no internal checks, nothing.. thanks though we can do it all ourselves, the MW was to be there, to do the paper work at the end for us, and to watch us as wanted to use the water pool.

DP and I laboured completely at home, I did my own internals, when I needed to see where I was up to, DP timed though didn't tell me, he hid the clocks and kept us focused. I/We spoke to bub through the labour to make sure he was ok and I moved as my body needed/wanted to.

We had researched alot, we knew what was to happen when, why, how etc. We did not go into this with our eyes closed, we felt empowered as we knew what was happening and why, rather then being scared about it, I just let my baby and my body guide me.

I wanted to push too early, me checking and DP checking, told us that bub and I were not ready to push yet, not crowning, we stayed focused and breath into transition. Ready for the friendly ambo's to give us a ride into RBH. We promptly told them not to bother coming if they were going to intervenue.
They were lovely and we had a ride in, on all fours (attached to DP so he couldn't drive us in).

We arrived at RBH with 12min of breathing till bub was in DP's hands, he passed him to me and he cut the cord after it finished pulsating (more blood to bub and reduces jaundice) we had no drugs, no intervention, no MW checking me or bub. So much more I could say on this and Dante's arrival though one day I will right the birth story.

Everyone has choices in life... it is up to you, as a birthing woman to be informed, empowered and know what we want as your birth experience and how to achieve it... whatever your choices are, own them, love them:smiliedance:

Pippi Longstocking

23-09-2006, 10:45

That, Shell, was one of the most beautiful, empowering, moving, and inspiring posts I have ever read! Yay you! :smiliedance:

Duchessa

24-09-2006, 13:56

Wow. That was an amazing, moving and inspiring post. Thank you so much for sharing it. Normalising such wonderful births as your own helps us all.

Funkychicken

24-09-2006, 15:52

Shell, that was beautiful. What an empowering experience for both you and your partner and I'm sure it was a great experience for the midwives who were at the birth centre. A wonderful inspiration to many other mum's to be! :yelclap:

stellaj

24-09-2006, 20:33

That was lovely, your DH sounds great and so supportive. Just wondering why you decided to transfer at the end?

jmb

26-09-2006, 22:37

Demeter,

I would love to do it. All my insticts say 'yes!' The photos on the unassistedbirth.com website are the most inspiring thing I ever saw in my life.

Still working it out, as it's my first birth, and looking for the possibility of an unobtrusive midwife as a compromise. I may be tempted, however, to just forget to call........ I do want my husband around, definitely, for physical contact.

jmb

demeter

27-09-2006, 20:42

Yey JMB! I'm thinking along the same lines :)

And I have to join the chorus Shell - GREAT POST! :smiliedance:

shell25

29-09-2006, 19:55

Thank you everyone for the support of my post!
I hope that this helps the future birthing women believe in there bodies ability to birth, when in a safe and familiar environment.

Stella_J asked "why we transfered in the end?"

Because I didn't have a doula with me.
Had I/we had one with us, I dont think we would have worried about it. Though when I asked my DP for a hot towel, in the few seconds he had to get it, in between holding me in a lovely hung squat, he ended up with a luke warm tea towel!!
It was at this point that I knew, I really needed a woman, (whom had given birth), to understand what I was wanting and needing.

DP was amazing and so was my DSS, who was with us till I hit the active labour (he was my little cook-making food, ice blocks, pumping up the fit ball) though looking back I really wish that I had a doula with me for the labour, even if it was just to get a BIG HOT, HOT, HOT, BATH TOWEL!!

When I wanted to push (so early), I was not feeling as safe as I had been and that was the main reason to call the ambo's and my mum took too long to arrive to drive us into birth centre (this was a last minute idea we had)

Looking back though, when ambo's came, and when we arrive in the emergency room (lights out too), in my whole labour that I started to panic, as I/DP went into we want "no intervention" mode. It felt like I had to be thinking like a doula for me and a birthing woman, instead of just birthing. :eek: very hard job doing both.

The feeling of birthing our baby, on our own, was an amazing high and I will let you know when it stops.:laughing:

mamabare

30-09-2006, 11:26

I would have loved a free birth because when I am birthing I go really into myself and feel like I don't want anyone around me. DH cottoned onto this after the first birth, and was really good at giving me space the second time around, and I did only have midwives who seemed to connect with what I needed. However, I would have felt safer and more secure in my own surroundings iykwim.

A friend of mine freebirthed on her own - her husband arrived home just in time to catch the baby! And it is the most exhilerating birth story I have heard. She never felt scared or alone, just really focused & empowered (it was her 3rd baby).

Funkychicken

30-09-2006, 14:04

The feeling of birthing our baby, on our own, was an amazing high and I will let you know when it stops.:laughing:

It'a a high that will stay with you forever. I still close my eyes sometimes and relive the births of my babes and I am still in awe!!:smiliedance:

jmb

14-10-2006, 04:30

Does anyone out there actually know anyone who tried this for this FIRST birth? It seems to me most people go for it after learning the hard way about the other options (or just wanting to try it) in 3rd or later births.

Also, someone mentioned getting their husband to read more. I recommend the Unassisted birth site (http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com) as actually the best resource. Laura Shanley's 'Unassisted Birth' is brilliant for the info on unecessary intervention, but there's a lot of alternative thinking stuff in it which is very interesting but might put conservative husbands off. Laurie Morgan's 'The power of pleasurable childbirth' is also good on why having extra uneccessary extra people around is a problem, and Sarah Buckley's new book 'Gentle birth, gentle mothering' has all the scientific info on the how the hormones SHOULD work when the mother is left alone (not necessarily literally). Especially good are the chapters on ecstatic birth (hope mine is...), and on the third stage of labour.

Demeter, thanks for your repsonse. I'm writing from France (moving to Sydney in November) and we are having huge problems without internet provider, hence my apparent disappearence!

jmb