My son has been traumatised emotionally

[lovingmumof 2now]

Hi,

My 6 year old son started seeing his father about a year ago, after 4 years of no contact. His father suffers from Bi Polar and I was assured he was under medication and ok. Anyway to cut a long story short. He started having overnight visits with dad and gf. He didnt really like going but I thought it best for him to know his dad.

Recently (about 3 mnths ago) He went through a traumatic time with them where the gf accused him of lying and saying I wanted to get back with his dad (not true). I think the gf is nuts and wanted attention.

Anyway they had a huge fight and I had to come pick my son up from his dads at 5 oclock in the morning. Recently I found out the gf treated my son like **** and referred to him as that little the C word.

Ever since my son has been wetting the bed (he never did that before ever) and refuses to talk to his dad or see him. He is seeing a counsellor too.

My question is: If his father wanted to go to court to see my son, how do you reckon I would stand up. I want my son to be safe and I believe he is not safe due to gf's crazieness and fathers bipolar and lack of care for my son.

Is 6 old enough to make that choice or could the court make him go see him and be subjected to emotional abuse.

I am very worried. My doctor said if the bed wetting doesnt stop he may need to see a pychologist.

Any Ideas anyone?

[~Danni~]

I have no advice but wanted to give you and you lil man a big :hugs: I hope everything gets sorted out nice and quick for you both so you don't have to worry so much anymore, Good luck hun all the best:fingerscrossed: :hugs:

[HouseOfBlues]

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you either.
But I just wanted to give you :hugs:
Best of luck with it and I hope you get the advice you need :fingerscrossed:

[InSaneOne]

the judge will probably say 11 or 12 to be old enough to have a say. but with the dr's proof saying he now wets the bed when he didn't before might have some say in the matter. the judge will probably talk to your son and ask him what eh wants to do and take that into consideration.

:fingerscrossed: that the judge will do whats best for you son and i hope you can get him to see a counsellor to talk about how he is feeling. (or try to get him to express his emotions yourself - through drawing pictures or making things with clay or playdough or even writing a letter to his dad with help fom you)

have some of these too :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: as i know it can be a stressful time dealing with the courts.

[Xavier's Mumma]

When my parents broke up my brother who was 6 at the time stayed with my dad and he got to pick who he wanted to stay with.
just wanted to give u a big :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

The Family Court has recently released new documents saying that they try to judge in the childs best interests.

I guess in your case they would probably have a bit of a casual chat with him and make their own report on it, and probably ask for copies of the doctors and counsellors reports to back up your petition. If they see fit to, they may ask for him to be assessed by a court appointed psychologist for assessment. Keep a written track of everything, dates, times etc of his visits to your ex and when the problems started, what your ds has told you, and also any information that you know.

Good luck with this!!!:hugs: to you both!

[Cynara]

Keep a record of the dates that he visited his dad, when you had to pick him up and nights that he wet the bed. By keeping a record its more legit than he said she said. Also record your son's moods when speaking about his dad (obviously don't provoke the reaction to get him upset because that will work against you).

Record absolutely everything. Then when you go to court you have proof.

[LilShenanigans]

From the sounds of it, I think all you will need is a statement from the counsellor...

Everything everyone has already said would help too of course:)

:hugs: :hugs:

[jessgray]

like it has already been said record the dates and times of visits and if he wet the bed and his general behaviour afterwards. and also get written statments from dr and counsilior. if the father is really wanting to see his son, the judge may tell him he can only see son if gf is not there or something like that.

[Buddha Bubbas]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
to you and you ds.
call legal aid and make an appointment just to get some advice.
i called them last week as my ex stopped paying child support (long story) and he hasnt seen my daughter since she was 2yrs old (for about 2 months mind you) and she is now 7. he has threatened to go for custody and i was worried about going to court. regardless of age it is about the childs best interest and obviously its not in the childs best interest to have unsupervised visitation. also as others have mentioned, write EVERYTHING down.

[bronny-jane]

to be honest isnt it abuse what their doing calling a 6 yearold a ####:mad:
i have no idea what you should do, but i doubt they'd be seen as a safe place to stay.

:hugs: to your ds, what an awful thing to go through, that chick needs her a## kicked:mad: , i cant stand people who treat kids that way:banghead:

[Angelmist♥]

Everything everyone already said!Big :hugs: to you and DS, something must have really upset him.I'm sure if you were to speak to legal aid, they'll give you full custody after that episode.He may get supervised visitation rights though.

Good luck with everyone and some more :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[lovingmumof 2now]

Thankyou everyone,

I appreciated all the advice and hugs. Its very hard because I worked so hard to try and avoid a situation like this. I have always been so nice to my ex. I am just so sick of getting pushed around.

I am going to see legal aid and have a talk to them.


I have written everything down now as well,

Thanks again for the help.