Rules for being a SAHM

[delirium]

I've see this done for single, young and working mums. So I thought I would start a thread for us SAHM mums about the unsaid (and said) rules the world has for us.

1. just admit what everyone already knows; you are a lazy woman that sits on their butt sponging off the taxpayer/your partner

2. everyone knows SAHM's have no goals or dreams in their life beyond feeding their face and watching DOOL

3. remember never to complain about the housework or child rearing you chose to laze around at home so you've defaulted on venting rights

4. don't expect help from family and friends; afterall what do you do with all that time to need help?

5. Expect everyone to think you get an allowance like a child. You're a kept woman and your man earns all the money

Anyone else care to add?

[peanutbutter&jelly]

6. Whaat? Sorry, too busy watching Oprah + Dr Phil to do anything.

7. You also must be completely and utterly overprotective of your children, not allow them to do anything without you... unless you don't care at all, in which case, revert back to #1

[TammyLou]

8. You are living the DREAM. You get to do whatever you want, you don't have a 9-5 job slowing you down!

Oh man, they are all funny!

[Ulysses]

9. be sure not to hand bubs over to DH when he gets back from his job, afterall he has been working hard all day while you have been relaxing.

LOVE THIS THREAD:)

[Ulysses]

11. Be sure to have perfect skills in the kitchen, everyone knows once you become a SAHM you automatically become a chef & are able to bake anything.

[PKKXP]

OMG - too funny ladies!!! I love it. I once had DP tell me that I live a life of luxury as a SAHM...
Cannot wait to see what everyone else has to add ;-)

[deany]

11.automaticaly you must know what to do with every baby from the minute you welcome a baby into your family bfing/burping crying etc.=p

[heeeeerekittykitty]

Please don't forget that all our children are going to be anti social and never learn to interact with other children seeing as they're not in childcare ( I get this one constantly )

Or the fact that we get to sit around the foodcourt doing lunches and coffees with our friends all day ( because we all have placid children that a) sit in the pram like placid little angels b) don't throw tantrums when they are not brought every lolly in sight or not dllowed to ride every ride we pass)

We spend all our husbands money , he works hard while we spend it of course .

God I could go on forever ,,,, these are just a few of the pearlers I've heard over the yen months I've been a sahm :-)

[Benji]

11. Smile and nod when people say "oh, so you're just a mum"?

12. Always keep in mind that your husband has had a harder day than you. It was a bad day for traffic okay!! Just because you were up all night, spent the day looking after sick kids doesn't mean that YOU get a night off cooking!

Sahms rock :highfive:

[faroutbrusselsprout]

If you need a break from your child... or heaven forbid put your rambunctious toddler in care for day then you are obviously not coping.....with anything. Possible diagnosis could include PND or just general lack of mothering and life skills.

[heeeeerekittykitty]

It's already been said but just need to elaborate , god I love one that goes like this

" me to dh - you never ever get up to ds the ten times a night he wakes , I do it all , would it hurt you even once to just say " it's ok , I'll go " when he's crying "

Dh to me - BUT I HAVE TO GET UP FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!!! ( aghast at the mere suggestion of him helping at night .

Yeah because what the **** do I get up to every morning at 5am . A day of leisure ???? I get up for " work " too , mind you earlier than you . Oh sorry , I forgot , your jobs physical so that excludes you from ANY night time duty !!

And the other one mentioned is great .

Example - " did you hear so and so went back to work one day a week "

" yeah I heard , she couldn't handle it , she doesn't cope well with motherhood "

God forbid the woman needed a day out the house to keep her SANE. All of a sudden she can't handle the pressure .

Ok , rant over :-)

God I love this thread .

[Boobycino]

Don't complain - remember your lucky to be a sahm.

Accept that even your own mother may comment when you complain about your husband not getting up in the morning that he does need to be able to concentrate during the day. The *unsaid* bit is that it's not like your doing anything important - like ensuring the health and safety of a 2 year old, noooo that requires no concentration.

Childless friends can remind you to think of them on Monday when they have to go to work and you get to stay home watching wiggles and playing at the park.

Oh and NEVER forget, you chose to have them.

Oh and don't complain about your child or lack of sleep and then plan to ttc, as you will be reminded 'but you can't handle the one you have' :no:

[WorkingClassMum]

why did you go to university of all you were ever going to do was be a SAHM

[heeeeerekittykitty]

Omg each and every one of these I'm just yelling out loud YES YES!!!!!!!!! They are all so true !!!

[delirium]

SAHM's can't cut it in a work environment, that's why they don't work

Expect everyone to ask you endlessly "so when are you returning to work?" about every month with a disapproving look

Don't dare spend any money on yourself. Since you are not bringing in a wage (and CL doesn't count, see point 1) you should wear rags and get your hair done once every year or 10

Stop sulking you are not appreciated, you aren't bc you in effect doing nothing anyway

[Emmi]

MIL-me: You hould just learn to deal with my health problems and trying to raise my DD because there are a lot of others mums that are worse off.
And again....
MIL to me- you don't need a break. I never had a break from my boys.

[deany]

my mil-why should dh do anything because what would you do when he starts working again? (its so much easier when hes at work but i cant see him working for a'long time) arrgh

[alpacamum]

Ahh all so true

I challenge some of our husbands to a day at home (getting up at 5.30, BFing a cranky and fidgety 9mth old and trying to feed solids without the entire lounge room getting covered in them, playing with him, and somehow through the day, get the shopping done, any odd jobs that need doing {oh could you just go to Bunnings/Coles/the post office - all a car drive away from each other - with a 9mth old that doesnt like the pram and won't sleep when we're out} make sure the dishes are done, the cat litter changed, and the house tidy and clean....... and doing the whole bedtime routine, then cooking dinner at the end of it all. I don't think they would be complaining about their day at work (and subsequent leisure time after work) then!

PS Lunch break?! I'd like one of those!!

[kathbubz05]

Lol funny thread this cheered my night up:)

[decambla]

Thankyou ladies, this was just what I need :)

[trishalishous]

dont forget to be bl00dy grateful for your breadwinner, remember that he wantsmto come home to a quiet, clean house with dinner on the table.

DH deserves a medal if he 'babysits' while you 'go out' (work) - from my mil, not my DH who is an equal caregiver/sahd

[delirium]

You are not allowed to use DC, even a day a week. You choose to stay home so why do you need a break? You're whole life is a break ;)

(take my son for the day and you'll understand :laughing::devil6:)

[delirium]

why did you go to university of all you were ever going to do was be a SAHM

;) I've got this one before too. Ummm, I actually worked for lots of years BEFORE kids and used my degree and I'll use it again when my youngest is at school, only 2 more years. Then I will use that degree to work for another 30 or so years :p

[TammyLou]

It truly is amazing what some people think..

Friend "can't you just come out to lunch and then they can sleep later?!"

Me "yeah sure, would you like to put them down for their nap at 3pm so they can sleep until 5 to not go back to sleep until 10 perhaps 11pm?"

[flicker]

:laughing:too funny!


You are not allowed to use DC, even a day a week. You choose to stay home so why do you need a break? You're whole life is a break ;)

(take my son for the day and you'll understand :laughing::devil6:)

my dh had 2 weeks off work to look after ds whiilst i was in hospital. when i came home he had organised daycare for two days a week. he said ''i dont know how you are still sane.'' i dropped it to one but it really changed his views!

(i would like to say he is a very supportive man, my rock and that is why i am sane :kiss:)

[zombiekitty]

Why don't you do XYZ....you know that with 2 kids under 2 you have all the time in the world to do it!!

This was the best one I have ever heard though....
Owning a small business is MUCH harder than being a mother- from someone that doesn't have kids....or even a partner! :laughing: :laughing:

Or this.....is DH going to babysit while you go out? Erm, it's not babysitting if they are YOUR KIDS!

[delirium]

Or this.....is DH going to babysit while you go out? Erm, it's not babysitting if they are YOUR KIDS!

:rolleyes: This drives me crazy. Totally agree, it's not babysitting when their your kids!! :hair: Some people :no:

[zombiekitty]

:rolleyes: This drives me crazy. Totally agree, it's not babysitting when their your kids!! :hair: Some people :no:

I know, right?
My mother hasn't worked for most of her life and goes out drinking, lunching and shopping most days (does run a business from home but it's not a lot of work (doesn't work everyday or full days when she does) and she also has a staff member) and she thinks I am the one with time on my hands?
Sure, she helps out but freaking hell lady, I don't have time on my freaking hands!

[lemongrass]

Off going shopping spending "husband's money" oh then go home and watch tv. I have easy life, I should be "grateful" cause my husband is the one that earns money and oh my 8 month old and 3 year old can do all their feeding, bathing, cleaning after themselves. That's my BIL and FIL think:rolleyes::rolleyes:

[Boobycino]

Or this.....is DH going to babysit while you go out? Erm, it's not babysitting if they are YOUR KIDS!

Lol yeah.

[MothersMilk]

Sleep? You don't need, after all you just sit around the house all day.

Sick? Too bad. Suck it up - it couldn't be that hard to look after children while you are vomiting constantly, right?

Need a break? What from - you don't do anything, you are just a SAHM

DH/DP etc takes bub for a day and he will be branded a hero - you do it everyday and are considered lazy and unambitious :rolleyes:

[krystallxx]

Don't have anything to add but this thread is an absolute ****a. Love love love it!! Might have to print these rules out and stick them around my house for even know it all ******** that has a comment on how easy peasy bein a SAHM is!

[Boobycino]

....
DH/DP etc takes bub for a day and he will be branded a hero - you do it everyday and are considered lazy and unambitious :rolleyes:

That's the paradox isn't it ;) they do for even a half day what we do 7 days a week, like, once every few months, they get highfives!!! Yet we don't atualky DO anything so what are they getting highfives for? Watching dr Phil and sitting around eating lollies?!? ;)

[Briswegian]

thanks for the lift ladies. I just hopped on the computer after screaming at my kids and putting them to bed (oh sleep well my poor little darlings) to see whats what and I see pics of my dh and his two colleagues having the time of their lives O/S for the weekend before a week of work and then an xmas party and then I think some more play which he hasn't owned up to yet while I'm at home with three kids and 30 weeks pregnant. I have asked him to take me out and to do things with me because soon I will have a newborn and then he'll get back and it will be full swing into xmas (which he just turns up to incidentally but always complains about). He says I have morning tea with my girlfriends every week (mothers group). Ummmm, would love some time without them, would love not to be a single parent 50% of the time, would love a DH who didn't take me for granted. Morning F'ing Tea! Priceless!

[SupraMum]

MIL to me..
"Me time? Never heard of it!!".
"Live with it."

OMG. The thread that I have been looking for.
Funny yet so true.

Thanks ladies.

Proud to be a SAHM..:yelclap:

[Briswegian]

"Me time? Never heard of it!!".
"Live with it."


TOOOOO FUUUNNYYYY (cause it's true).

[Briswegian]

can't help myself but reply again. I have been a SAHM for 20 months. When I went back to work part time because financially i HAD to after our sons were born, my dad was all brothers in arms with my husband about the heavy responsibility and him being the bread winner etc etc. WHAT?! I worked and was a full time mum and housekeeper and and and and and and. Now I am grateful to not have the stress of work but holy moly what a great break to go to work and be treated with respect and heavens above, go out for lunch every once and a while without having to feed someone else. SAHM's have a tough tough gig. The NMAA (now ABA) had a tshirt out when my brothers were little that said, "mothering, a job worth doing" thinking of having some printed!!
YAY US!

[elleandsam]

If your DH takes your child on their own for any period of time he is the worlds greatest hero. Even if he doesn't feel he's doing anything out of the ordinary expect others to tell you how lucky you are over and over. If they change nappies they're gods. If they change and wash cloth nappies then you're just lying.

(Yes MIL it's great DH is on compassionate leave to take care of DD while I'm on bed rest, yes he's still using cloth nappies at home, and doing my washing for me, it's not 'amazing' he's just a good dad :rolleyes)

Don't forget you should be grateful for ANY time you get off even if it isn't by choice, bed rest while pregnant is apparently great because I get time off from DD and I should enjoy it before the new baby comes. Yeah thanks childless friend.

Knowing the words to your childs favourite songs proves you're lazy and just hang out on the couch all day no matter how many times you say it's taking an interest in their interests. Forget that you even know the dance moves, you're still lazy ;)


Love this thread, although I'm not really a SAHM right now but I will be again soon!

[GypsyFortuneTeller]

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[elleandsam]

Gypsy - I tell DH he gets me time on the way to and from work and on his lunch break ;) he also gets to go to the toilet alone :eek:

[dixilee]

what a great thread ive been a sahm for about 6mths now. I need a break

[Nowhere]

lol love it,

You cant make any coment or even laugh or anything if any one says they havent had a day of for such and such a days, or you will get thrown at you that every day is a day of for a mum.

when DH gets home and I say I have has a bad day he says at least you have been home with Kenz, that makes yur day better, Yep thats right even when I have been at the hospital all day holding ehr down to get stuff done, then getting bashed by her cause i try and move her for physio or what not, yerp life as a SAHM is a walk in th epark

[Briswegian]

when DH got a busier job he said, you'll have to take up the slack....i might pack the dishwasher but you'll have to unpack it. I said, I might chop the vegies but you'll have to cook em. putz!

[VegieK]

Gypsy - I tell DH he gets me time on the way to and from work and on his lunch break ;) he also gets to go to the toilet alone :eek:

:D That's what I say too! Imagine.... 45 minutes of being on your own in the morning before starting your day, toilet/coffee breaks as required (with no-one attempting to shove the entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet between your legs), lunch break, adult conversation alllllll day, and then finish it off with another 45 minutes of being on your own before arriving home to your dinner being cooked and spending quality time for an hour with your child before they go peacefully to bed.... :cloud9:

;)

[GypsyFortuneTeller]

---

[elleandsam]

Never mention to someone anything along the lines of looking forward to the weekend or thank god it's Friday. Isn't it the weekend every day for you?

[Benji]

When my DS was a year old and still sleeping terribly (what am I talking about - he still sleeps terribly now at almost 5 yrs of age :laughing:) my friend got out of bed at 8 am to get ready for work. She went to have her peaceful shower on her own, got dressed without anyone pointing and asking about bits and tugging at legs, did her hair and make up in peace...

... then walked into the lounge room where I had been with DS since 5 am after a few hours of interrupted sleep - had already got his breakfast, got him dressed, played cars, got myself dressed - she said to me "you're so lucky, I wish I could stay home too".... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This coming from the girl who had had 10 hours of solid sleep and then a SLEEP IN until 8 am to work part-time.

She is currently pregnant with baby #1 :devil:

[Boobycino]

Lol, I had Jasper with me and was getting a coffee on a Tuesday after a Monday public holiday and as the coffee was being made i did a massive yawn and the barrister said 'what are you yawning for, you just had a long weekend'

.... I lol and said, I'm a full time mum, I never get a long weekend. ;)

[HunterzMummy]

"What do you guys do all day"

Hrrmmm well letes see. I have a 3.5yr old, I have 6 month old twins that I still breastfeed (that have had sever silent reflux, refuse solids, dont sleep well and had 1 drama after the next with) I have a home business to run, dinners to cook, swimming lessons to attenend, grocceries to do, bills to budget, horses to work, lawns and paddocks to mow, house to clean, mountains of washing to wash,hang and fold, appointments to make and attend.... And so much more that my incredibly sleep deprived mind cant even express.

But you know what thats not enough to deserve a break or pass off one of the babies when DH gets home. I mean its YOUR JOB after all :p

[Bubmum]

I could do with 5 minutes of not being stabbed in the head by DD's new umbrella, and having to squeal "umbrella" in increasingly excited tones every ten minutes. Ow ow ow.

A new rule...Sinlge Mums are not allowed to be SAHMs. Never!

[SupraMum]

ATM, DP is playing a RPG on the computer, and it's been for hours now. While I'm stuck here with an unsettled bub and still have to pack food for he has to go on his night duty at the ER tonight..

I want to go on a strike.


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[Maximum22]

if your a young mum as well as a SAHM - you must have a plan to go back to work and get looked down on when you say actually im really just happy being a mum! if i dont have to work while the kids are young and when they get older maybe i will get a part time job... apparently im the strange one, but im not the one working my *** off to pay for child care

[SupraMum]

I'm happy to be a SAHM. plus I'll be starting to study again online soon. Which I'll be considering as my 'me time'. I was thinking of going back to work early next year when DD's 6mos old.but I'm not confident to let other people (even relatives) to take care of her. So I might just hold that thought for some time. I might be strange too but yes, same as you, I will never work my body off just for child care. I love being a mum... :)


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[Maximum22]

I got asked what i wanted to be when i grew up the other day, i said umm if i can afford it, a mum... i got this puzzled look and then, but what are you going to do when the kids go to school,.... umm pick them up take them to various after school activities, cook healthy home made food without feeling like i need to rush it, volenteer or maybe get a part time job for a hobby, join the schools P&C, volenter at the tuckshop .... yet even after all those suggestions they still looked puzzled and said... so you dont have any aspirations?..... :geek::hair:

[1plus2]

My DF said to me the other night,( after finding out that me and 2 of my SAHM friends have a competition going on facebook bubble island) that im never allowed to complain about being to tired to do the house work cause all i do is it on the computer all day.

Yep thats right.

Cause i get up 5 times a night to pee and check on the kids, then get woken up in the morning early by both girls, then have to get them and me fed and dressed, DD1 lunch packed and her off to school with her hair brushed and looking like someone owns her, then i get to make beds, tidy rooms, vacumm, do 3 loads of washing, put the dishes away also while entertaining DD2 and keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesnt pee on the floor (we're toilet training), then get her lunch, bottle and into bed before the afternoon routine starts.

Which is:

Bring DD1 home, get her sorted, stop the girls from annoying each other, get dinner started and finished, get everyone fed, the girls bathed, and ready for bed, another house tidy and then i get to do the dishes and clean the kitchen.


So sue me if i take 2 hours for ME time and play video games.

[delirium]

DH has tried to say I just sit on the computer all day too a couple of times. Until I rattle off the 50 things I did that day, including making him a delicious dinner, cleaning a 4 bedroom house, doing 4 loads of washing, dealing with the kids. I may have had 2 hours in that 24 hour period on the 'puter. I tell him since I do nothing all day then tomorrow he won't mind no dinner, no clean uniform and a trashed house as I do nothing anyway :devil6: He soon says no more ;)

[PurpleStars]

I'm going away next week and it dawned on hubby last night.. 'I'm going to have to wash my own clothes.' :eek:

I said yes.. and cook your own dinner, make the bed.. clean the toilet.

He said he 'might' pull the bed up before he goes to work, but he doubts it! :rolleyes:

[mummykahla]

If you need a break from your child... or heaven forbid put your rambunctious toddler in care for day then you are obviously not coping.....with anything. Possible diagnosis could include PND or just general lack of mothering and life skills.
I get this one ALL the time! Apparently DP doesnt want to hear my *****ing, his day was harder than mine because his boss forgot some product/got the wrong colour vinyl/didnt put his invoice through...
I CHOOSE not to work, and the cooking, cleaning, picking up after dp, aspects of childrearing, and grocery shopping are my JOB and since i dont come and help dp work, then why should he help me work? Oh and ALL women do ALL the domestic stuff, i shouldnt expect thanks, its just my job as a woman to do these things, i chose to have children. But no, i cant have anymore, its too much hard work for dp to shoot the sperm and then spend all day at work :bowdown: oh mighty men, you are the hardest working, most unappreciated people in the universe, and we shall all do as you say without complaint, and yes, when your childless aunt calls me a lazy, uneducated (untrue!) waste of tax payers hard earned i shall smile and agree :cantbelieveit: for fear of upsetting her! So just wondering, whose job is it to cook, clean, raise babies and tend to dp when i do actually return to work? LOL

[delirium]

I would say to your partner, when you work 24 hours a day, up all night, and you have no holidays, no sick leave no down time then come and talk to me. 8 hours a day? Meh, my day is only 1/3 over by the time you are putting your feet up demanding your dinner.

But I'm a bish like that :gonnagetit::devil6:

[mummykahla]

Oh and just to clarify things I LOVE staying home with my kids, but it is a damn hard job, that i would like a break from occassionally. Apparently this is grounds for saying no more babies as i "cant handle the kids i have" because i need me time sometimes, god help me! Oh and im not allowed to become a doula, as there isnt enough work and they dont make enough money, and i cant be a middie coz he isnt going to pay 25,000 a year for uni when i wont be earning over 50,000 a year! yep, i HAVE to go back to work, but i cant do what i want. awesome!

[mummykahla]

I would say to your partner, when you work 24 hours a day, up all night, and you have no holidays, no sick leave no down time then come and talk to me. 8 hours a day? Meh, my day is only 1/3 over by the time you are putting your feet up demanding your dinner.

But I'm a bish like that :gonnagetit::devil6:
lol to be fair, dp does work 12hr days and his job is hard labour, but its no where near as draining as mine! but i do tell him that, and his response is "well you chose this" hahaha yeah, and he chose to be a vinyl layer, so he cant whinge either lol

[Pregalicious]

Funny thread...well heres my SAHM typical day, cos i dont actually DO anything...:rolleyes:

I simply watch Oprah and Dr Phil on repeat all day long, as my son magically came from my uterus with complete self sufficiency.

But ive managed to keep that secret so i can keep watching Oprah.:yelclap:

I also have a magic wand that i wave while sitting on the computer the rest of the day. This wand cleans the house, washes the clothes and cooks the dinners. Said magic wand was of course bought with DH wages...:bowdown: haha.

Oh, and i have all of this just so i can receive the baby bonus.

While watching Oprah. With my wand. And self sufficient child sitting quietly in the corner.

Such is the luxurious existance of the SAHM. Ssssh! Dont tell anyone!

[mummykahla]

Oh, and i have all of this just so i can receive the baby bonus.


Such is the luxurious existance of the SAHM. Ssssh! Dont tell anyone!
yep, according to dp's aunt, i too only had children for the money. I also got (because my children have different fathers, not really by choice, but through circumstances) how could you make the same mistake 3 times? didnt you learn how babies were made the first time?
yes, i did, and i quite like children, and the way they are made!
the same aunt has been married 3 times, and my 2 cents worth for this is atleast i got something from my failed relationships, you only got divorce papers :)

[Pregalicious]

yep, according to dp's aunt, i too only had children for the money. I also got (because my children have different fathers, not really by choice, but through circumstances) how could you make the same mistake 3 times? didnt you learn how babies were made the first time?
yes, i did, and i quite like children, and the way they are made!
the same aunt has been married 3 times, and my 2 cents worth for this is atleast i got something from my failed relationships, you only got divorce papers :)

Yes, you awful person you :shame: how dare you question aunts wisdom on such subjects....!!

[Californication]

Gypsy - I tell DH he gets me time on the way to and from work and on his lunch break ;) he also gets to go to the toilet alone :eek:

Going to the toilet alone - LUXURY!!! As is doing the washing alone. I love being able to just put it in and not have to keep opening the doors! (My DS loves to shut all doors. Even if I'm still in the fridge/cupboard!!)

Thanks for the laugh. I needed it today! DS has tonsilitis again and is very unhappy and I am very tired and DH has gone to help his father for most of the day :(

[TheSudgestionator]

If you need a break from your child... or heaven forbid put your rambunctious toddler in care for day then you are obviously not coping.....with anything. Possible diagnosis could include PND or just general lack of mothering and life skills.

Bhahahaha this is my fav!

[mum2bubba]

Sorry if already been said but...

Expect people to say things like "well he works all day, he shouldn't have to come home and do anything" courtesey of Grant's nanna. We'll let her off cos she's old ;)

[mum2bubba]

MIL-me: You hould just learn to deal with my health problems and trying to raise my DD because there are a lot of others mums that are worse off.
And again....
MIL to me- you don't need a break. I never had a break from my boys.

That reminds me. A few years back Grant went out all night, didn't call or anything, came home at 7am the next day. Anyway I told Grant off and MIL got on the phone and has a go at me and says "You go out more often than he does" and "I had 5 kids and I raised them and I never went out" Errrr ok then. Would you like a medal or something?

[mum2bubba]

dont forget to be bl00dy grateful for your breadwinner, remember that he wantsmto come home to a quiet, clean house with dinner on the table.

DH deserves a medal if he 'babysits' while you 'go out' (work) - from my mil, not my DH who is an equal caregiver/sahd

Oh yeah, expect that when you're at home all day cleaning, cooking, kids etc not to get thanked, but when your partner (if you have one) does the dishes once a year expect him to ask for a medal....or sex. :rolleyes:

[mum2bubba]

Funny thread...well heres my SAHM typical day, cos i dont actually DO anything...:rolleyes:

I simply watch Oprah and Dr Phil on repeat all day long, as my son magically came from my uterus with complete self sufficiency.

But ive managed to keep that secret so i can keep watching Oprah.:yelclap:

I also have a magic wand that i wave while sitting on the computer the rest of the day. This wand cleans the house, washes the clothes and cooks the dinners. Said magic wand was of course bought with DH wages...:bowdown: haha.

Oh, and i have all of this just so i can receive the baby bonus.

While watching Oprah. With my wand. And self sufficient child sitting quietly in the corner.

Such is the luxurious existance of the SAHM. Ssssh! Dont tell anyone!

We're does one buy this magic wand???

[fireflies4]

We're does one buy this magic wand???

I'll take 10 when you find out.

[2gorgeousboys]

Funny thread...well heres my SAHM typical day, cos i dont actually DO anything...:rolleyes:

I simply watch Oprah and Dr Phil on repeat all day long, as my son magically came from my uterus with complete self sufficiency.

But ive managed to keep that secret so i can keep watching Oprah.:yelclap:

I also have a magic wand that i wave while sitting on the computer the rest of the day. This wand cleans the house, washes the clothes and cooks the dinners. Said magic wand was of course bought with DH wages...:bowdown: haha.

Oh, and i have all of this just so i can receive the baby bonus.

While watching Oprah. With my wand. And self sufficient child sitting quietly in the corner.

Such is the luxurious existance of the SAHM. Ssssh! Dont tell anyone!

:laughing::laughing::laughing: Love it!! :highfive:

[Nicky2006]

Hey, I thought I fresh this thread up by shocking you all. For my family in law I am the antichrist of a sahm. Fair enough cause can you believe: I am a sahm. I do nothing, I mean literally nothing you could anyhow relate to as work and still my SS is in after school care and when my husband comes home who works whole day to pay for my manicure and waxing, he helps me in the household!! Hello? Is that sick or what? And I don't even want to go back to work anytime soon! Plus that I moved from abroad to sit my butt fat at home, so I am one of those anyway known as very lazy foreigners :D

[Nex]

We don't dare park our kids in front of ABC2 for a few hours to get something done without interference either.

"You should read to her more"

Yeah...I have to interact with my kids 24/7? or they will grow up ignorant and uneducated.

[Boobycino]

Apparently (according to Jasper) I must never sleep ;)

Okay, new one, don't comment on a friends comment that their breakfast sounds divine in a cafe, it would just be lovely to eat something i didnt cook without being climbed on - because you will be reminded by another friend that 'your lucky your not at work'

Though the friend I commented on is a dad, he assured me they do grow passes that stage :yes: ..... Eventually.... His daughter is 11, so somewhere between now and then hey?

[HELPihavea2yrold!]

A new rule...Sinlge Mums are not allowed to be SAHMs. Never!

Damn, I've just failed Motherhood 101, someone call D.oCS on me!

[Ladybugz]

YES yes YESSSS! I am just sitting here :yes:

all of it so so true! hehe i get this one alot "who are you going to have a coffee with today?" "you live a life of leisure and you think you have the hardest life!"

HA HA well how bout you DP look after our 7 month old for the whole day.. Night included and i will go out and earn some money for us?!

yeah thats what i though:laughing:

[Nicky2006]

oh, did I mention that I dare sleeping in on the weekends? Oh and still, as I am supposed to be a teacher, nurse, chef, maid and sex queen...after a day of leisure I don't want 'it' every night...

[Boobycino]

Ooh, or I dare to want a sleep in on Christmas day!!! Omigosh, 'all I want for Christmas is sleeeeeeeeep!!!!'

;)

[bundmum]

yes... and don't forget we are supposed to be able to keep OUR children quiet and well behaved even they are only 11 mths old.

[Pigeonmum]

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I've just been ****ing myself laughing a t these!!!
I laugh when df cones home changes one nappy and then passes DD to me when she's needs another and says 'your turn!'
.... Ah no ive been changing nappies all day, you've got about 6 before you catch up with me!!!

And heaven forbid you look forward to a 'day off' or a weekend when your other half is at home to relieve you of juty for 5 minutes so u can do some groceries!!! Then people you kbow stop you in the st ' oh where's the baby' to which I reply... 'oh crap I've left her in the pub!!!' pretty sure the chord was cut a while ago, we're not joined at the hip!!!!

Rant over :-D

[2gorgeousboys]

oh, did I mention that I dare sleeping in on the weekends? Oh and still, as I am supposed to be a teacher, nurse, chef, maid and sex queen...after a day of leisure I don't want 'it' every night...

OMG!! That's soooo true!! But will they EVER put themselves in our shoes?

[Boobycino]

Oh and if you 'hand you child over' for a night to go out your parenting comes majorly into question. Regardless of the hours upon hours you put in during the day, if you go out at night while your kids are askeep and barely notice your gone your a BAD MUM!!!!

[nats]

OMG. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this thread.
For the record, I'm not a SAHM (anymore). I work atleast 10 hours a day (sometimes 6 days a week) in a sh!tty, hot, fumey and dusty environment for an abusive boss who calls me a "Stupid f'ing b!tch" frequently. It's physically laborious, tedious and taxes my health daily. However it's STILL easier than being a SAHM. I beleive I could do my day job all day and go to work in a seedy brothel all night and that would still be easier than being a full time SAHM!!
Why?
Because when I'm at work I'm able to move around freely, have my lunch when when I want (AND remain seated for the entire 30 minutes!), drink my coffee hot plus I don't have to cope with the constant anxiety of being SOLEY responsible for two little people or the feelings of lonliness, isolation and guilt that seem to go hand in hand with stay at home parents and social insinuations of never doing *enough*, contributing enough to the economy or being in any way adequate.

Magical years of mothering? I think not. Atleast not as long Mums are regarded by the western world, as second class citizens and of lesser importance that the *bread winners* by such people as service centres, trades people, shop assistants and countless other dopes (including our own mothers!!) who beleive mothers have all the sweet time in the world.

My hats off to you women. My kids are a two year age gap and they're only 4 and 2 now so you can see I didn't last long. Now I work full time and DH is SAHD. After two years of despairing alone with a baby and a toddler, of no valuable help from anyone (with the exeption of other busy Mums who are in the same boat themselves!) only now does DH 'get it" :banghead2: :banghead2: :banghead2:


Rules for being a SAHM #45908239487 - RUN!!!!

[MissyMoo76]

Im not a SAHM (but soon going on mat leave) yet, but soon. I work rolling 24hr 12hr shifts, I often don't get my meal breaks when they're due, often not getting any. I keep our house, etc. My partner comes home from site, his office job (he can eat when he wants!), gets his meals & room cleaned everyday (god who cooks for me after a 12hr shift that became 14 & no meals!???) I still have our house to clean, jobs to do, have to study for final exams on top, shop, etc...

And he comes home wanting 'me' time???? Lmfao!!! No kids on the ground just yet!... I hear this comment & laugh hysterically!

Keep up with me bucko!!! Otherwise he will be learning a very hard lesson! It gives me the ****s as he gets it easy now. If MIL should say one time 'but he works hard...' WTF do I do with crappier hours??? Well she gets told in no uncertain terms exactly what I think of her advice & her pigsty living child or plural (as all 3, 2 boys & 1 girl) are all the same. Plus I ask her why she walked out on her marriage! *****y I know but hey, don't play with me unless your prepared to play. I work hard, long shifts in a job I love, but honestly it can be the crappiest some days. So if you are home and I walk in 2hrs after I was supposed to finish (cos no I do not stop at the pubs or shops to pass time at the end of my shift), yes I usually am starving, your home, did I message you earlier with dinner plans???, no so I think a smart move is start something before you see me drag my sorry a$$ in through the door. You remember the time that happened & you had been sitting on your a$$ in front of the tv & you declared 'god your starving'... So me the unfed tired one started a quick nutritious meal without sitting on my a$$ or having a 5 min breather... You declared again you were starving etc. I think I threw the contents of dinner across the room at you & told you in no uncertain words to go procreate with yourself in a variety of methods & I went and parked my butt in front of my computer, verbalizing what I thought of your heritage and mannerisms!... Funnily enough he picked up the dinner making process that night. No it's not all about your stomach & how hungry you are!

So in my world, it's teamwork. DP can & will pull his weight or have me hit defcom 5 at him.

There is no 'I' in team! Remember that mister!

I say bring it on DP, I play hard.

[Boobycino]

oh, did I mention that I dare sleeping in on the weekends? Oh and still, as I am supposed to be a teacher, nurse, chef, maid and sex queen...after a day of leisure I don't want 'it' every night...

Omg yes!

I nearly tore my DP a new one the other night because each and every night now he's pestering me for dtd, and doing a quiet little 'oh , your going to sleep now?' and I'll even say to him, 'will you get up at 6am with Jasper?' 'no' 'okay then, goodnight!' and he still doesn't get it. So I went off my rocker a little last night because I'm SO SICk of being made to feel guilty because I want to roll over and fall asleep!!!!

[missAmanda26]

what ur pregnant again? the baby bonus must be good......

God I hate how ppl say that are u not allowed to have kids unless its got to do with money.....

[Boobycino]

what ur pregnant again? the baby bonus must be good......

God I hate how ppl say that are u not allowed to have kids unless its got to do with money.....

:-/ I know.

My SIL was genuinely shocked when I explained how much we get from FTB - and for every cent I am grateful - but she genuinely thought the government gives parents heaps of money :-/

[Frangi]

You ladies have made me smile this morning! I am not a sahm, I work 3 days a week and now that both kids are in day care I relish the adult conversations and being able to go to the toilet alone at work! I can't believe some of the outdated ideas of your DP's and MIL's!! I was reading this and went out to my DH and gave him a cuddle as he was making the kids their first breakfast of the morning before going to work. We have our job sharing issues but I realise I am luckier than some!!!

[zombiekitty]

what ur pregnant again? the baby bonus must be good......

God I hate how ppl say that are u not allowed to have kids unless its got to do with money.....

The first thing my MIL said when we told her we were pregnant with our second child was 'can you afford it?'. I could have slapped her. Luckily DH told her over the phone.
Money, money, money. Is that all people worry about?

[MothersMilk]

Once when DD1 was a baby we were out for dinner and she started crying so i took her for a walk. I pacing around near the entrance when an older man came up to me and said "Was it worth the baby bonus" - not in a lighthearted/joke way, his tone was so rude and hostile and i was really offended. Jerk - i was too frazzled to respond but wish i'd said something.

[Brunfelsia Dreaming]

Don't dare spend any money on yourself. Since you are not bringing in a wage (and CL doesn't count, see point 1) you should wear rags and get your hair done once every year or 10

Stop sulking you are not appreciated, you aren't bc you in effect doing nothing anyway

I can relate to this sadly....& CL bonus (catch-up) wouldn't be received if 'he didn't work & or have a good accountant!' :rolleyes:

RULE: After a hard day at work don't expect DH to help, afterall he's tired, sore....just get your grateful hat on and get with the subservient role that is that of the SAHM. Oh, & don't dare be sick afterall you're it and you can't expect to be looked after, but hope he doesn't catch it or you'll have an extra child to care for!!

[zombiekitty]

Once when DD1 was a baby we were out for dinner and she started crying so i took her for a walk. I pacing around near the entrance when an older man came up to me and said "Was it worth the baby bonus" - not in a lighthearted/joke way, his tone was so rude and hostile and i was really offended. Jerk - i was too frazzled to respond but wish i'd said something.

:eek: What a pr1ck!

[Nicky2006]

Omg yes!

I nearly tore my DP a new one the other night because each and every night now he's pestering me for dtd, and doing a quiet little 'oh , your going to sleep now?' and I'll even say to him, 'will you get up at 6am with Jasper?' 'no' 'okay then, goodnight!' and he still doesn't get it. So I went off my rocker a little last night because I'm SO SICk of being made to feel guilty because I want to roll over and fall asleep!!!!

Omg so true! Sooo sick of it!! I told dh he can take $50 out of my money jar and go to our local 'relaxation massage'. At least I can get some sleep then... My body is drained and I am so sick of justifying myself what I do and why I am tired. Come on, take a panadol and function!

[MissPoss]

OMG This is the perfect thread for me right now. SIL has a baby younger than mine and is back at work, so I'm getting the 'lazy biatch' vibes. Never mind that she gets cheap day care from family ( I have no family here). And never mind that my oldest has Aspergers and I can get a call anytime from the school to come talk her down from a meltdown. Apparently I'm just lazy and, of course, not terribly intelligent! Silly me for thinking I was doing the right thing for my family by being a SAHM! I'll never learn!

[Nicky2006]

Of course you are not intelligent!! I am actually the only one in ils family who's ever been to uni, and graduated, but as soon as you're a sahm you are dumb, and you must have dropped school after year 8 and every single working person is more intelligent than you!!

[melimum]

All of these are so so TRUE!!!!
ive been a SAHM for 6mths and have recently gone back 2 days a week. my first day back convieniently was on DP's RDO, great dont have to pay for child care that day, and FINALLY he can see what i put up with everyday which as of late had been: wake up call at 6am, daytime naps of only 30 mins and grumpy needy teething bub.
so after my day away i anxiously ask how was it??
"what the hell do u complain about" he replies. not only did his wake up call come at 830 am but DD had a 2 hr nap and was a perfect angel.
HOW BLOODY TYPICAL LOL

for as long as i can remember all i ever wanted to do was stay home and be a mum, like my mother did. some ppl think thats not shooting to high but im doing what i love...are u??

[bolly]

SAHM's - hubby's earn a fortune - how else can it be justified that you stay at home and do nothing much.

SAHM's must embody the 'yummy mummy' and look gorgeous at all times...

SAHM's have never worked and do not understand or appreciate it, so don't bother including them in 'that conversation'

;)Bolly!

[London]

There are two simple rules...

1: Do nothing all day

2: Quickly race around the house and do a general tidy up about 10mins before your partner arrives home from work


.....this is how it works right?

[One of THOSE mums!]

Ha ha London.

Have to admit I have the occasional day like that.

Once in a bloody year!

Might do it more often though.

Why can't I have a weekend off!

[London]

:p

I work my butt off being a SAHM but admittingly, there are days where DP gets home and I have either done what i said above, or I am on the couch doing nothing. I'll say 'Couldnt be bothered today' and he goes 'meh....whatever'. As long as its not EVERY day, he doesnt care lol