cant get a break

[indimum]

hi girls.although it is not really his fault,the fact that so much more of the responsibility of our daughter is on me causes arguments,usually when i am exhausted and cant handle one more sleepless night.i just wanted to know if all families go thru similar problems.my daughter has been really clingy to me since birth and will only breastfeed.no bottles.for a long time if anyone took her off me she would go nuts and although she is getting a bit better when she is tired or upset its mum only for indi.because she wont have a bottle and she gets separation anxiety and my partner cant settle her i can only leave her for maybe 2 hours max and dont do that often.she is 8 and a half months old and still not sleeping well,wakes up for maybe 15 comfort nibbles during the night which obviously no one can help me with but it doesnt stop it from being really frustrating when for 8.5 months you have been awake and the dad can sleep soundly next to you.i just feel like i cant get a decent enough break to recharge and i do take it out on him at times.he gets up at 4:30 am for work and works really hard and indi does keep him up alot ,it hasnt been easy on him either.most of the day i cant put her down without her crying as well.so i either have to carry around 8 kilos all day or sit and play with her and not get anything done.even when i get up to make something to eat she usually cries her head off which is really hard to hear but at times i dont even eat till 4 pm cos i know she will cry but at some point you have to say i have to leave you for a sec!so just wondering how much other dads can help thru the night(obviously if you are lucky and have a good sleeper its not an issue)can anyone relate???

[Mahjong]

Hi Hun,

You poor thing. YES, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Wyatt was and still is the same as little Indi. He's 2 in November.

He's a clingy boy as well and hates me leaving and doesnt sleep the best either.

I can tell you though, it DOES get easier once they start crawling and walking and have some independance. It's hard I know and doesn't help when you are also sleep deprived and have little patience :(

Hang in there, I know it's easier said than done, if you ever need a break or someone to just talk to or come and help, even if it's just a load of washing etc, give me a yell :)

Take care,

Bep

[*Chels*]

Hiya
Just sent you a PM but forgot to add,have ya thought about getting a sling?Then you can carry Indi round and BF while you can make yourself something to eat or do some housework?

[SilverStarfish]

While I'm lucky that Sarah is a generally a good sleeper at night, I can relate to the clingy, won't (usually) take a bottle, can't be settled by anyone else scenario.

I can't leave the house for more than 30 minutes before she cracks up. And yet, with me, during the day, she's rather an independent little soul. When she's sleepy, all I usually have to do is drop her in the cot and she drifts off by herself. Yet if anyone else tries it.. WWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! At times it really hurts DH's self esteem, he went through a period convinced that she hated him...

I have no suggestions, only :hugs: . So I can go back to band (http://www.bmcb.org.au), my once-a-week-baby-free time, I now drop DD AND DH off at a friends place, and they help him to settle her while I'm gone for the 2 hours :laughing:

[suemp]

i dont wanna come across as a know it all mother but you sound like you'd like any advise atm. maybe you have to be tough with dd. 15 comfort feeds a night is a lot for you to deal with day in day out. have you tried a dummy? maybe the sucking of that is enough for dd. also the more you give in to comfort feeds the more dd will come to expect them (am i coming across as an evil mum?)
trust me it does get easier. when they get older its a novelty for them to hang out with dad who's been away working all week...you'll soon be begging to come along too.
have you thought about day care 1 day a week to restore your sanity. they are trained to deal with those situations
jake used to have to see me all day so if i wanted to do washing for example id chuck him in his bouncer next to the line.
it is frustrating and you do tend to take it out on dps.
my dp was pretty much useless when jake was a baby. he still did wat ever he wanted leaving me with no life but bubs, and boy did we fight!!!! he used to say "im just not good with babies" and i thought yeah right any excuse buddy, that i was stuck like that till jake turned 18. but he was right. as soon as jake grew up he became the most fantastic father i could ask for
:hugs: and good luck to you

[indimum]

thanks for the replies.i have tried a dummy and she wouldnt take it for ages now she just bites on it cos she has a tooth.i have tried to get her in a better routine,not giving in all the time but when you are exhausted you will do anything for a sleep.sometimes you cant handle the sound of crying anymore.i know it will get better and i feel it slowly is.i do the same taking indi out with me to hang washing etc.she is close to crawling so at least she can chase me around the house soon rather than having to carry her.i suppose i just thought that it would be more of a joint effort taking care of her but to be fair she is the one who has decided this is the way its going to be.he does try!just needed to vent and always good to know other mums have similar problems or even different but we all struggle at times.thanks again

[missmum05]

Hi Indimum just wanted to send some :hugs:
Hope things will get easier for you soon :fingerscrossed:

[heymamma]

Monica have you tried sleep school for indi??
I went to one with phoenix...omg it was heaven after i left there.
also is she getting enough solids during the day.... I remember i went to a Dr cause phoenix wouldnt sleep...they said "oh well his a hungry baby ..feed him!!" i felt terrible...i said "I feed him" but she said no ..not milk all the time...give him solids..& it helped.

Good luck darl :fingerscrossed: :hugs:

[SassyDiva]

Hi Monica, Big hugs to you :hugs: . Yes can totally relate to where your coming from. My 10 month old isn't sleeping thru the night and sometimes I'd do anything for some quality zzzz's.

Im not gonna give any advise cause I think your doing everything possible - but just wanna say I know what your saying and I live it too. What Sue said is right though... as they get older the men all of a sudden step up to the plate and take on a more hands on role. Must say too it has been easier 2nd time round for us.. that first bub changes your life soo drastically - it threw us for a 6, and I think he had us trained by time DS#2 came along..

Good luck with everything and just keep on going :hugs:

[Dylansmama]

Hi Monica,

Just wanted to send my wishes too - hope it gets easier for you. Being sleep deprived is very frustrating, especially if you're having to get up 15 times a night! It's totally understandable that you would be feeling frustrated, especially if during the day you don't even get time to have lunch or just have a little break. Sometimes guys have no idea how much we need that break, as much as we love our babies. It's good for you too as it helps you to be a better Mum if you're refreshed and recharged. Do you have any family up here that can help? My Mum's in Sydney but when she was here it was great and I actually got her to come up and stay with me again because I was finding it all really hard at one stage. But it's definitely to good to have someone to talk to who understands and I think as Mums we definitely do!

Take care,

Shontelle :hugs:

[moomoosmummy]

:hugs: for you. im very lucky cause maia is a pretty good sleeper mindd you has been getting worse while getting her teeth. but she has never even woken DP up i dont know if its normal but i am a light sleeper and hear every little noise and as soon as Dps head hits the pillow he is out to it sometimes it is so fustrating cause i cant even wake him at night he just groans at me.