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pennidymock
28-11-2010, 09:46
I'm a 22 year old SAHM to Michael (4 in december) and Phoenix (2 in january), with another due in March.

My issue is that Michael gives me horrible attitude and i'm not sure how to go about effectively fixing it. He will tell everyone to shut up, go away, cut it out, and if you talk when he doesnt want you to, he will say "sssh, shhh, shhhhh" loudly until you stop talking.

He has speech and developmental problems, and i dont know if this is causing him frustration and i'm trying to teach him that we say "please be quiet" instead of shut up, "please leave me alone" instead of go away, and "please stop that" instead of cut it out. He occasionally slips the F bomb, which is a big no no and ends up with him in bed for 15 minutes.

When he says the rude things, i tell him that its mean to say those things and that we should say something nicer like whats written above. He'll say it once, and then he goes back to saying the rude things. If his baby brother is crying, he will tell him to shut up, stop crying, stop fussing. He headbutts people when he is mad at them, and he'll hit people to make them 'go away'.

The other day his nonna screamed at him to shut up, and my husband says shut up at least 10 times a day to him - both of them are consistently told off for saying such rude things to him and i remind them how i am teaching him to not say those things, but they just dont listen!

The only person that follows the same rules as me is my own mother and father, and they are big on butt-smacking for discipline - i used to be until Michael was almost 3, then i realized there are more effective solutions, rather than hitting your own childs butt.

Has anyone had similar problems with kids, and how would you suggest i go about fixing it?

When he talks rudely to me, he goes into time out for 10 minutes and when he comes out, i talk to him about how its rude and it hurts peoples feelings, but he doesnt care.

trishalishous
28-11-2010, 12:38
our godson went through a similar stage, BUT it was only his father who spoke rudely to him (they are seperated) so his mum did basically the same as you, and limited contact with his father until he stopped it.

pennidymock
28-11-2010, 13:47
i'm not limiting his contact with his dad though... i mean, i'm married to him and live with him. :confused:

EmyB
28-11-2010, 15:30
The other day his nonna screamed at him to shut up, and my husband says shut up at least 10 times a day to him - both of them are consistently told off for saying such rude things to him and i remind them how i am teaching him to not say those things, but they just dont listen!


:eek:

I think it's pretty clear where he's picked up such terrible behaviour! I don't think you have much chance of correcting his behaviour if these are the kind of examples he sees every day!

Myztiks#1Fan
28-11-2010, 15:39
i have the same problem with my 3yr old. he tells me he hates me and i say dont like and he will then correct himself. he has picked up words i dont want him to use from others so i go about correcting him and he then corrects himself. its slowly sinking in and the words are becomming less but your DH needs to change the way he speaks and same goes for everyone else. the people i know not to use certain words in front of my son(mainly the word hate and all swear words) and most are compliant but those who arent compliant, dont realise that i then have to deal with it and it takes ages to get back to the whole no swearing stage again.

lulululu
28-11-2010, 15:43
I agree with emyN. Your problem is not with your four year old, it's with your husband and his nonna. Talk to them. If they can't change you can't expect a four year old to.

trishalishous
29-11-2010, 01:45
i'm not limiting his contact with his dad though... i mean, i'm married to him and live with him. :confused:

sorry, it sounds wrong! my friend did the same thing as you - time out, 'we dnt speak to each other like that' etc- and then she limited contact with the people modelling the bad behaviour.
makes more sense if i expain haha

Bubbles10
29-11-2010, 09:58
I think you have a DAD and NONNA problem, not a 4 year old boy problem. Getting them to change the way they speak will help immensely but i don't know how to do that if they don't already know it's not right to talk that way.

Maybe try reminding them everytime they say Shut up that there are better ways of getting yor message across.

Seacretsquirrel
29-11-2010, 10:57
Not sure how you feel about it but perhaps enlisting your 4YO's help to correct his dad'and Nonna's language.
Have a chat with him about how its not nice to speak to people this way and that you need his help to get them to speak nicely - in a nice way so perhaps when your DH says shut up to your DS (or anyone else for that matter) get your DS to remind him that we don't use that and to say "please be quiet instead" - not sure if it will work but it might help remind both your DS and your DH (and his mum) to use nice language.
:hugs: I too have a (nearly) 4 YO who is pushignthe cheeky buttons.

pennidymock
30-11-2010, 11:19
Daddy has been trying his best to stop saying it after several lectures from me, and since that first post, he's said it maybe once, and then apologised to Michael for saying it and said,"that was very bad of daddy, im sorry."

regarding the nonna, we dont talk to her anymore, so i dont have to worry about that chapter any longer (thank god...).