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stellarella
01-09-2006, 15:27
Oscar's Dream Arrival PART I

Oscar was due on the 26th June. 3 weeks before my EDD I started getting excited. I had read that a baby can be born anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks. Well I had decided my little man was coming early.

About 15 weeks into my pregnancy I had a dream I was having a boy and that he would be born on the 10th and that it would be a quick and easy labour. Then at 20 weeks we had a scan and found out it was in fact a boy. I was now convinced my dream would come true. It was mothers intuition I told myself. So I prepared myself for the big day which was to be the 10th June.

On the 28th June I started getting worried and booked myself in for acupuncture. Drank castor oil, ate curries, walked (alot!), massaged with prgnancy no no oils, nipple stimulation, sex, etc etc. Everyone had a suggestion that "worked for my auntie, mother, grandmother, friend etc"
Well NOTHING worked for me.

I had weeks of period like pain which came on and off, sending my spirits soaring with hope and then plunging into despair.

I was booked into the Birth Centre and was told if I needed to be induced (I was booked in for the 10th July, 14 days over) I would not be able to use the spa and have a water birth like I had dreamed of and prepared myself for throughout my entire pregnancy. I had 3 strip and stretch internals as we desperately tried to get things moving. I was 2cms.

By the 7th of July I was not taking anymore phone calls from well meaning friends and relatives wanting to know "havn't you had it yet?"

On the 8th of July I woke up with backache like period pain which was coming at regular intervals and was different to any other pain. I wondered "is this it" but didnt want to get my hopes up.

DP and I played scrabble all morning then went over to friends place and played board games all day until 11pm, pains getting closer together, stronger, "could this be it?" we all wondered.

At 11pm I had a contraction which told me "yes this is it." I class this as the start of my labour but really I had been having contractions all day, just very mild.

We walked home. I hopped into bed and tried to sleep but was too excited. Got out of bed at 3am and went downstairs. Called my mum at 4am and told her to drive up from NSW (4 hours away). Called midwife at 5am and told her contractions were lasting 30secs every 5 mins and were mild. She said "dont get too excited, could be a long way off yet."

Went to bed and slept for about an hour. Woke at 8am when mum arrived. Went for a walk. Spent all morning doing god knows what but contractions were still every 5 mins. Called midwife at 11am, she said to go into Birth Centre at 3pm for an internal.

3pm I was 3cms with contractions every 5 mins but lasting 1 min and moderate in strength. I needed to concentrate with each contraction and needed to KEEP MOVING. Baby put on trace, doing fine, sent home.

Spent rest of afternoon dealing with contractions getting stronger, needed lots of heat packs, massages, drinks, love, encouragement etc.

At 7pm called midwife, having good contractions, needing to use all fours and lots of heat, not getting closer together, very tired. What should I do?? "Get into bed she says and try to sleep." Was she joking??? "Baby is posterior" she says, "thats why this is such a long, slow labour and why it hurts so much."

Got into a HOT bath, very naughty!! Contractions become easier to deal with and I relax in the bath for a couple of hours. Bliss. Midwife calls. "Get out of bath" she says. Its bad for the baby, try shower instead".

I get in the shower and contractions continue to get longer, stronger and closer together. They are about every 3 mins now, lasting 1 1/2 to 2 mins and are moderate to strong. I need the water HOT and I change positions between leaning over a chair, kneeling on the floor, leaning against wall, all while I have beautiful hot water running down my back. Im doing my own internals. "Im only 3cms" I say, "Im not progressing".

"Your not a midwife" says DP, "Stop checking yourself!"

At Midnight I get worried because the baby is not moving. Oh no, I had the water too HOT in the bath I think. We are going into the BC. We call our midwife. "Meet me there" she says.

We get to the BC...I have a few contractions at the front of the hospital which is quite funny. I look like a complete mess having just got out of the shower and put some ridiculous outfit on.

My midwife does an internal and my waters break all over the bed. Im 5cms. Yay!! Baby put on trace. Baby fine.

I get in the shower with a birth ball and 2 shower heads. I'm making lots of noises like having sex (DP tells me later...teehee...). Contractions every 2 mins, lasting 1 1/2 mins, strong strong strong!

"When can I get in the bath?" I ask. This is my saving grace. Ive been dreaming of this forever. Anne does an internal first. 6cms. "Only 6" I cry. Its now 3am.

I get in the bath (after filling for an hour), the water is lukewarm which is doing sh!t all for the full on back ache. "I hate this" I yell, "Its worse in here".
"Keep her in there a bit longer" MW tells DP. She leaves the room. When she comes back 2 mins later i'm storming back to shower where the water is HOT.

I start begging for Epidural here. I just cant see a way forward. Its been too long. Im soooooo tired. I've been in established labour for 32 hours. The pain is not so bad...I mean it hurts and its hard, but pain alone is not the issue. Im getting through each contraction. But i'm getting distressed because Im sooooooo exhausted. This is the definition of maternal exhaustion. I feel like I am passing out with each contraction. I Do what you should never do in labour. I just imagine how much longer this might last and I beg DP and mum for an epidural. They are really worried and I dont blame them, I was dead set against drugs. "What will we do when she hates us later for giving in to her?" they wonder...
"No" I say, "I really need them." And I really do. Thats the hardest part. I need an epidural if I am going to get this baby out without a c/section.

(When I was pregnant, DP and I agreed that if my midwife thought an epidural would benefit me then I would trust her judgement. Giving birth in a very pro-natural environment you know your midwife is working for you. I knew I could just zonk out and I could trust her.)

DP asks my midwife what she thinks and she says "not a bad idea, shes been in labour for a long time already and she still needs to push at the end of all this too AND the bub is posterior, could be a while yet."

With approval from my MW I am whisked off to Birth Suite for an epidural. So much for a NO DRUGS WATER BIRTH.

The aneisthetist arrives. "Dont bother telling me about all the risks" I yell with my hand in the air, "I know all about them."

"Ok" he says and puts the needle in. Somehow I manage to keep still through 3 contractions. Funny that.

The epidural is in and its cr@p. It only works on one side. They turn the epidural up and it numbs the whole side of my body including my face and hand etc. "Should I be worried about this" I ask?

The epidural is taken out an repositioned. Its working now. The drip in my arm hurts lots. A catheter is inserted, yuck! Having an epidural is disgusting. Its the most horrible feeling in the world. I was itchy and shivering and its just horrible. The saddest thing is that it was my worst enemy and my saviour at the same time. I have gone from being a rocking, labouring, free woman to a big fat whale laying lank on the bed. Its yuck and I never want to experience it again.

Its now 6am and I drift off to sleep. My MW starts syntocinon (with my approval) to get things moving along quicker now that I have pain relief. At this point I dont give a sh!t what is pumped into me. I'm beyond caring. My whole world has come crashing down around me and my pathetic body has failed me.

Continued a few posts below...

Niki
01-09-2006, 15:32
ohh wat a nice story, ohh and it was the 10th just like your dream thats soo cool:thumbsup:

poshBecks
01-09-2006, 15:36
Oh wow!!! What a story!!!!!!

YOu are amazing!!! :yelclap: :yelclap:

Welcome baby Oscar!

mum23girls
01-09-2006, 21:30
Welcome baby Oscar!! Sounds like you did a great job, now enjoy your son!!

shed
01-09-2006, 21:41
What a great story, WELL DONE.

:D

Fitmumma
01-09-2006, 22:07
Great birth story, Every time I read one I feel like I am there doing it too, I can honestly say if mine were that long I would never have had four children!!!:laughing:

Lisa&Davey
06-09-2006, 19:03
You've told your story so well. Great job and congratulations!

Veritas
06-09-2006, 19:32
Congrats Stellarella... and welcome Oscar!!

I too had been completely anti-drugs and wanted an all natural water birth.... but begged for the epi due to an 8lb 14oz bubba in posterior position... and ended up with c-section!!

Congrats again!

stellarella
07-09-2007, 20:03
Oscar's Dream Arrival PART II

Continued....

I wake at 7am and declare that "I need to do a huge poo".
"Great!" says my MW. She wakes DP and mum snoozing on the sofa.

Now if I thought I was exhausted by now I was about to learn what exhaustion really is. I start the epic journey of pushing. Pushing. Pushing. I can feel every contraction because the epidural has been turned off. Its good because I dont need any help to push, The reflex and sensation is well and truly there. The contractions are overwhelming. They are so intense it is unbelievable. I feel shocking. Im soooooo tired and I feel like im getting no where. Everyone is encouraging me "your doing great." "No im not!" I scream.

I'm glad they were encouraging me because in reality I was making slow progress. Oscar had decided to turn the long way around once he made his way under my pubic arch and he took his sweet time doing it....about an hour. My midwife was getting a bit worried at one point. I'm glad she only told me this afterwards.

I really needed to get out of the lying position. I'm so glad my instincts kicked in after having the intervention. Lying was a bad bad position to be in. Ive read all the books. I was helped into an all fours position hanging over the back of the bed. I needed to use my arms to hold myself up because my legs were like jelly.

I've been pushing for 2 1/4 hours. But it feels like 5 mins. I have no sense of time, its just a huge massive blur.

FINALLY his head appears. Yay!!! I can feel the burn but instead of backing off I find new strength and push with all my might, I just want him out, stuff tearing. Oscars head pops out in one push. So much for breathing my baby out.

"Reach down and feel your babies head" says my MW. Its so soft. I will never forget that feeling. Its the best part of my whole labour. I feel him kick inside me and its such an emotional feeling. Its that moment where he is suspended between two worlds...still a part of me, not yet fully born...on the threshold of a new world. I love thinking about this part of the birth. Its the bit I like remembering while all the rest is a nightmare.

I nearly slide down the bed and squash Oscar's head. "Watch out" yells DP. My arms are losing strength.

"When is the next contraction?" I yell "so I can get this baby out!" It feels like forever. It feels like it was ages between these last 2 contractions...while all the others had been close together this one was stretched out as if to let me savour the moment.

With the next contraction I push again with all my might. "Get ready to catch the baby dad" says our MW. "Help me" says dad "what do I do?" This is cute and funny to remember.

Oscar slides out into daddies arms. Ouch! He has big shoulders.
He is passed through mummies legs. I'm finally holding my beautiful little boy! Tears all round. I keep saying "oh baby baby baby"...but I dont even know im saying it.

I have a 2nd degree tear from his shoulders but I dont care. He is out!! I did it finally. What an epic saga.

Its 9.15am. Ive been in (proper) labour for 34 hours. 2 hours of pushing and only 3 hours with the pain relief. Oscar weighs 8' 14 ounces or 4.03kg. He has a nice big head: 38cms and he is very long: 55cms.

Oscar was born on the 10th July. After all that he ended up being born on the day I was meant to be induced. Sometimes I think I would have been better off being induced as I would have had a shorter labour and a good sleep the night before. It doesnt matter now though. And I guess I never know how it might have turned out. Maybe he wpould have got stuck or distressed. He was never distressed through the entire labour but I sure as hell was.

The 10th. The day I dreamed he would arrive. But it certainly was not a quick and easy labour. I think this was my first lesson in being a parent. Life will forever after be unpredictable....

stellarella
07-09-2007, 20:08
As part of healing process of overcoming Oscar's birth I thought I would do a review of my birth story. To just go over it and update bits which are clearer to me now.

14 months on I still have a lot emotional trauma to over come. Physically I have healed well. I have been very tiny since and cant gain weight but apart from that I feel great.

The emotional issues are still raw though. I find it hard to cope when I hear of a lovely, reasonable length labour and the envy and jealousy bubbles up in me.

I can step away though and clam down but I dont want this to keep happening every time a new mummy shares her beautiful story so I am on a journey to face my demons. :devil6:

fai firinne
07-09-2007, 20:39
That was a epic birth Ella and an outstanding effort. You sure did the hard yards. I have been with a few close friends who were faced with the challenge of a long posterior labour with their first baby. It is tough work for a first timer. My first was not posterior and I was in labour for 24 hours. I was tired but not as tired as my friend who was in labour for 45 hours. One needed a c/s. One ended up having epidural, ventouse and an awful episiotomy. The other (the longest) had an epidural and ventouse with a bit of tearing but no episiotomy. These three births have helped me to realise that a posterior labour can be pretty tough for a first labour. (I hope this won't discourage anyone who is approaching their first birth with a posterior baby, because it does not necessarily mean that it will be harder). I have felt a kind of 'survivors guilt' around my friends who had these tough first labours, because mine, tho long, was not so bad. If the shoes were on the other feet, I can imagine how I would feel.

I don't think your body failed you. But I think you did some very very hard work and it is understandable that it was distressing for you. I think you handled a challenging posterior labour incredibly well.

All the best with your continuing healing - which takes enormous courage too.

schelty101
20-12-2007, 10:20
Wow what an epic birth. Not sure where you are based but in Brisbane we have a group called Birthtalk which helps women that have experienced traumatic births- they have a website which may be worthwhile checking out. www.birthtalk.org (http://www.birthtalk.org) As far as the induction goes not sure whether it would have made it fatser or not but can say from experience that an induction is hideous - for me the contractions were really really really intense and painful and very irregular so hard to cope with. Anyway congrats on the birth you were amazingly strong - a posterior baby is tough but you did it girl. Woo hoo hoo.:smiliedance::yelclap: