Please tell me the things you miss most about 'life before children'

[SimpsonDesert]

Hi to all you lovely Mums (and Dads),

I hit rock bottom yesterday after getting another BFN :gloomy: and I really need your help to get me out of the negative mind set I'm in.

Our naturopath has said that whats going on in our mind affects our fertility just as much as whats going on in our bodies. I know I need to stop thinking from the perspective of what we LACK ie/ 'our lives are empty because we don't have a baby'. And start thinking from a perspective of what we HAVE. Its just alot easier said than done...

I'd like to make a list of all the things DH and I should be thankful for, and should take advantage of while we still can, with the idea that doing all those things will keep us in good spirits and give us something to look forward to. Life as we know it will cease to exist when we do get our little miracle, so this will be a 'bucket list' so to speak.

Please tell me about the big sacrifices you've made, and what you miss most about your 'life before kids'. Or even the things you do when you're able to get a babysitter and have the 'night off'.

Thanks so much in advance!

[elleandsam]

Sleeping in, doing things without planning around naps/bedtimes/having to be child friendly, not having to watch a movie at minimum volume because the baby is sleeping, eating without sharing.

[~CupCakes~]

sleeping, shopping, eating, talking in the phone whenever it suit you :) actually scrap that doing anything whenever you feel like it, not working around sleep times,school drop off etc

[BabelFish]

Owning my own time. Having it be open-ended, you know, so if I had a weekend off from work, then doing whatever I wanted to do, and having the time to do it. Even if it was cleaning the house! Not having to either a) maneouvre around the kids or b) pick them up from somewhere or c) be quiet because they're sleeping.

Owning your own time is something you never get back again, and you have no idea how much you'll miss it when it's gone!!

[HELPihavea2yrold!]

Having a shower in peace, being able to sleep in. Watching my tv shows in peace. Going shopping for myself instead of all the stuff my DS needs. Going to hairdresser for 2 hrs without having to organize daycare or babysitter. Being able to just carry a little bag around. Quick trips to the shops (now I have to have baby bag and pram)

[MothersMilk]

Being alone
Spontaneity
Sleep
My toned, stretchmark free belly and ridiculously firm, perky boobs :p :o

[donna2712]

Holidays!!!!! Knowing that you have plan a holiday that is suitable for kids and all that that entails, and having to pack a full car for a 2 night stay anywhere - don't even get me started on planes!

Going to the movies - have seen one movie in 2.6 years.

Watching TV without having to pause it (thank goodness for foxtel IQ) because a toddler is going "mum.... mum..... mum.... " and when you answer just looks at you as if to say "excellent - now her attention is on me!"

Spontenaety - it's just gone!

Privacy - toilets and showers are apparently "me and mummy" time.

Drinking - not a huge drinker so get tipsy VERY easily so don't like not having my wits around me when I have a child to care for.

Silence - those moments when you just need to block out the world - not going to happen !!!!!

Hope that gives you some food for thought :laughing:

[Areca]

Owning your own time is such a big one! Being able to do what you want, when you want.

Going out for dinner. We used to do it at least once a fortnight. The last time we went out for dinner, just the two of us, was June last year and we were home by 8pm because we needed to get home for DD2. We do go out for dinner as a family but nowhere near as often.

Going out for breakfast. A regular venture for us but with two kids with egg allergies, one kid with a dairy allergy we just don't bother. I miss it.

Getting to wake up next to each other and cuddle in the mornings. My DD1 is 5 on Friday and we haven't had a child free night together since then. My kids are all up by 6am, 6.30am at absolute latest and want their day to start NOW so there's no time to cuddle.
Being able to take a towel, a drink, some sunscreen and a book to the beach. So easy. Now it's 5 towels, a bag full of beach toys, food for the day (my kids have allergies so we can't just eat ice creams etc. from the kiosk), sunscreen, the sun shelter, hats for everyone, changes of clothes for the kids. You end up covered in sand from head to toe. I still love the beach but the experience is vastly different!

Being able to do simple things like go to the shops to get a loaf of bread. It used to be grab wallet and go...these days it's get shoes on everyone, get baby carrier for the baby, get the 3 and 5 year old to go to the toilet, get everyone in the car (5 minutes to get them in and strapped in), then unloading the car, putting baby in carrier, grabbing the hands of the older two etc. A 5 minute trip to get some bread takes half an hour!

Having pets. My dog died when my three year old was 8 days old. I love animals, dogs especially. I can not believe I have gone three years without a dog. It's such a foreign concept to me but the time hasn't been right to get a dog. Without kids I would've had a new dog within a couple of months.

Eating so many dishes that we now can't have due to my kids allergies. I make dinners allergy friendly so that means no egg, no dairy, no tree nuts.

Living in our apartment. It was our dream place to live. Without kids we'd still be living there but we only got to live in it for 18 months (couldn't afford it on one wage) and it's up for sale :(

Oh yes, holidays! Gosh they are so different to what our holidays used to be like!

I miss my sister. She lives interstate so easy enough to get to via plane...except her car doesn't fit three seats and the idea of taking a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a one year old on public transport it just a bit too daunting for me so I don't go to visit her. I can't afford to hire a car with car seats to get around.


HTH! It's the simple things I miss the most.

[Boobycino]

Sleeping. Going to the movies. Dtd without having to look at the time knowing someone will wake for a feed in half an hour. Holidays not being as complicated to organize as planning a full scale invasion of another country.

Sleepy Sundays.

Going to the cinema in peace.

Eating in piece.

Spending money on frivolous things, like pretty dresses for myself.

Going out in the evening.

Cleaning your house and a week later it's still pretty clean.

Only doing laundry weekly.

Ummmmm

That's all i can think of.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I wouldn't trade it back. But I do miss those things some times.

[headoverfeet]

Eating in peace and quiet, enjoying a meal or going out for a nice meal.
Sleeping.
Going to the movies easily.
Being able to concentrate, I love to read books.
Having the house stay tidy when you tidy it.
Uninterrupted sex.
Being able to have an uninterrupted conversation.

[TeenyT]

Spontenaety - it's just gone!



Yes!!!! :yes::yelclap: I do miss that.

Having to lock the door when we DTD is another (when we actually get time for it but that's another story right there...). No more spontaneity in that area anymore for sure. :p

[Greenstar]

Only having to worry about yourself if you get sick. Sick kids are like a puzzle missing bits.
Going to the toilet by yourself. Kids don't care for privacy.
Showering by yourself or with the hubby without fear of being busted or explaining.
Not tripping over toys in the hall.
Your shoes being exactly where you left them.
A good nights sleep.
Mostly I miss just being able to come and go as I please and not planning a day in advance and packing the house with me.

[smog]

mostly i miss just walking out the door. getting up, telling noone grabbing nothing and walking out to go where ever i wanted and return when and if i wanted or never:p

[parentingrocks]

Everything everyone else said !!!!!!!!!!

:laughing: our kids really must drive us bonkers some days!!!!

Yes there are defiantely some parts of yourself you just loose when you have kids.

I miss having head space - I am constantly THINKING THINKING THINKING about what to feed next, whether we'll make it back in time for a sleep, if not, better take, pram, blanket, teddy, getting babysitting and childcare organised, and then once you do the kid is sick and you can't go or they come back sick and the next 2 weeks you're house bound worrying about every little symptom the present with..

I miss having a clean house.

I miss shopping for myslef. My wardrobe at the moment is the pits.

I miss my old body.

I miss doing whatever I want whenever I wanted.

[Pregalicious]

I miss...

Cleaning the house and having it stay clean for more than an hour.

Calling a friend and having a spontaneous catch up over drinks.

Going shopping without watching the clock

Being able to swear in conversation :laughing:

Having a shower without interruption

Its the ability to just have me as number one that i miss...i find myself being number 3...or 4 lately, if you count my DH job :rolleyes:

[Pregalicious]

And i never appreciated my body before having kids...i would give my left foot to have it back. But i appreciate it in a totally different way these days too...

[trishalishous]

sex whenever/whereever we want it.
my body :(
but the biggie for me is going for icecream at 2am.

[Bellini]

Spontaneously going to the movies as a couple. We used to go all the time, now a trip to the movies consists of finding a time my sister can mind DS, ensuring he is fed, bathed and settled before we leave while also getting dressed and eating ourselves, and then I usually stress that he will wake up and be a handful while we're out (he's been night waking lately). Half the time we just can't be bothered because of all this, so we haven't been to a movie together in ages.

Many hugs :hugs:

[Areca]

And i never appreciated my body before having kids...i would give my left foot to have it back. But i appreciate it in a totally different way these days too...

yes yes yes! I have no idea what I was worried about! I have decided to just be happy and confident with my body now...it's only going to get worse after all! :laughing:

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Sleep.

My life before children seems *unbelievably luxurious*. To be able to read a book.. make a phone call.. exercise... have an orderly house... a social life... Choose when I wake up.

[Bellini]

I thought of another one - Getting out of the car, grabbing my handbag and just walking straight into a shop. Now it involves unstrapping DS from the car seat, getting out the ergo or pram, strapping him in, sometimes popping his shoes on, idling into the shop and usually forgetting my handbag in the process :laughing: I ducked out to the shops the other day without him to get some lunch and was surprised at how quick and easy the trip was lol.

[parentingrocks]

My life before children seems *unbelievably luxurious*.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[nikki08]

Things I thought I was prepared for but still take me by surprise:


No 'me' time, at all. I shower, sleep, eat, shop and clean with a baby attached to me.
A quiet breakfast or dinner with my partner, we used to do breakfast every Saturday morning, now we take turns eating cereal.
Having clean clothes, everything I wear has a stain on it.
Drinking a hot cup of coffee, either it goes cold or it's not convenient near a young child.
Trying to run errands quickly, nothing happens quickly when you have a child attached to the situation ;)
Sleeping in or just sleeping in general for more than a few hours.


I think if I had a bucket list for before kids the number one thing would be spontaneity, like someone said having ice-cream at 2am, going for breakfast, coffee and cake or just for a walk and enjoying time with my partner as a couple.

[SimpsonDesert]

Wow, what an overwhelming response! Thanks so much for sharing, it has been a real eye opener and exactly what I needed :yes:.

I had NO idea that showering and using the loo in private were no longer an option after kids! My DH locks himself in there for ages with his reading material- I'll tell him to enjoy it while it lasts :laughing:.

I'm off to have a nice long shower, get dressed, leave the house with only my handbag, keys and phone, and have lunch with a friend!

You ladies are the best! Thank you for coming to my rescue and putting a smile back on my face.

[headoverfeet]

Don't forget to enjoy not having to pull over because bub is crying in the back and being able to wear what you want without worrying about how your going to get a boob out ;)

[Bellini]

Enjoy Lindy, I'm jealous!

[Spoodge]

Reading a book and finishing a whole chapter

Going out to dinner / breakfast

Eating without interuption

Popping into the shop / Post Office without having to make it a mamoth effort

Going to the movies - I havent been since DD was born

Having a loooong shower

Time to apply make up without rushing

Being able to wear my hair down without it being pulled on

Feeling like a packhorse when I walk out the door

Warm coffee... alas mine always seems to be cold when I go to drink it :D

[Lucy in the Sky]

I think a bucket list is a GREAT idea.
The year before we got pregnant, we had a VERY indulgent year - went out for dinner once a week, met up constantly with our non-baby friends for drinks and parties, slept in, breakfast in bed with the paper, spent a couple of weekends away at a B&B. Now, when life is so boring and exhausting and un-indulgent, I look back VERY fondly on that year, and I'm glad we did it!

Here is what I miss:

Only having to look after one person - me!

Ringing up DH spontaneously on the way home from work and saying "hey, lets meet in town and we'll go out for dinner" and not getting home til 1am.

Doing anything spontaneously, actually.

Being able to catch up on sleep whenever you need it, not feeling tired all the time.

Sex at anytime other than between 8pm, when DS goes to sleep, and 10pm, when I'm ready to pass out from my long day (DS gets up at 6am, so morning sex is not an option).

Sleeping in, lazy weekends, having brunch out at 11am.

Toned body, non-saggy boobs, non-flabby tummy, not having permanent bags under my eyes.

Being able to go on holidays! Being able to travel.

Going shopping for long enough to actually find something that looks good on you (remember the flabby tummy and saggy boobs?!) without having a toddler chuck a tantrum in the middle of Myer.

Adult company on a daily basis and having a greater sense of purpose than making play dough and reading Spot books (I'm a SAHM).

Having the time to look after yourself - actually blowdry your hair and put on makeup, let alone look after your nails, apply a face mask, or use a hair treatment!

Going to the movies (even with a babysitter, it was ages before I felt comfortable doing this, because for a few hours your phone is off!! That's scary for a mum!)

[WorkingClassMum]

BC -

I worked for myself, and could work nights when/if I chose - I worked 4 long days a week and had three day w/e when I chose too

I had money for incidental stuff when ever I chose

I had a two door Suziki Vitara - it had always been a car I'd always wanted

I had a motorbike

My house stayed tidy

The bathroom was usuable

The toilet was clean

DTD happen where ever and when ever and .... TMI :o

I could get up and leave the house within 10 minutes if I needed too

I always got to work early

Sleep in all day Sunday if I wanted too

Going to my mums at a drop of a hat and staying the w/e

[Mrs Dolphin]

sleep, sleep and sleep! :laughing:

oh and sex and spontaneity!!
There are sooooo many things!!

[IndigoJ]

I miss hot showers. Now i just have luke warm ones, DS showers with me.

[Amara]

I miss being able to eat at sidewalk cafes. I love watching the world go by but my son would like to go with them.

I also miss sleeping in.

[delirium]

Going to the toilet by myself without kids banging on the door mum, mum, MUUUUM!!

Spontaneity - being able to just go where we want

sleep ins

not having to deal with poo everyday :laughing:

[MsMuffet]

i miss when my mind was clear from the stress that comes with a special needs child.

i miss being in the work force, being a part of the world.

i miss getting the opportunity to enjoy my husbands company

i miss getting to cook fancy dinners <i have very fussy eaters so we all eat very bland dull simple things.

and like everyone else has said. i miss sleep.

i hope you get what your heart desires ((GBH))

[SassyMummy]

Peace and quiet... for a WHOLE DAY. Sure, you get little bits and pieces here and there when they're asleep, but some days you just want to bludge and be pretty much left alone... but you don't get much of that when you're a parent.

The cost of life as a childless person is pretty okay. You work, you earn, you buy... for yourself. When you have kids, working becomes more difficult (especially when you HAVE to fit in with daycare hours), you have to pay for daycare, and then you have to pay for lots of stuff, most of which is no longer for you. It's not just babies who people tend to think cost heaps thanks to nappies and formula and stuff... because then that baby grows up, and they start needing lots of stuff. Apart from the basics (clothes, food, shelter), they'll want toys and books, you'll need various bathroom items, cups and plates and cutlery, a million and one containers for their foods, schoolbags, lunchboxes and drink bottles, swimming lessons, any other lessons, their airfares and accommodation to go places, their entry fee goes from "free" to costing something. They'll have birthday parties, and make friends and attend birthday parties. They have craft materials, new shoes, bigger outdoor equiptment... etc etc. They cost a fair bit. lol.

Just randomly going out. You know when you just decide last minute you want to go out for dinner/out with friends/etc? Yeah, that kinda stops. You can still do it, but it's not the same. You have to make sure the restaurant has childrens meals/has a highchair/has room for a pram/has a change room, etc. You have to plan bags full of nappies, bottles, etc, and for older kids, you need to plan something to keep them a bit entertained... because conversation and good food just doesn't do it for them and you know you've got to occupy them or else they'll get shirty and ruin the whole night (for you and for other customers) with their complaining/whinging/screaming/etc.

Childless friends can easily become a thing of the past once you have your own.... because your life just changes so much and theirs doesn't.

If your child goes down for the night and then you decide you'd really like to go down to Baskin Robbins and grab an ice-cream, you just can't. Your kid is in bed, and you're stuck there until they wake up (except in emergencies, of course).

You start feeling guilty. A lot. About everything. Were you too harsh when you told them off? Should you have really given them take-away for the 2nd time this week? Are you setting them up for a lifetime of issues because you don't love YOUR body? If I just did THIS I could be so much of a better mother... etc etc. I can feel so sure of my parenting, and then I hear DD having a cry and I just feel horrible (even though I know I've done hte right thing, her tears make me feel mean).

Your body can age really quickly. You might be fat pre-pregnancy, but it could still be better than the sagging loose skin, stretchmarks, etc that you've now got. Your whole body shape can change too. Sometimes people like these changes... but I bet more of them don't than do.

You have more time for your partner pre-kids because there's nobody else to occupy your time... but partners can so easily be pushed aside for children, and it can cause a lot of strain.

Holidays are fun as a childfree person. Holidays with a child can be really expensive and stressful, and you've got to do kid-friendly stuff, rather than actual "interesting" stuff. (I'd love to go on a tour of the important areas in Tudor history, but I can't imagine dragging my 5-year-old along, kwim?)

The home you live in has to meet extra criteria. Is the area child-friendly? Walking distance to the school? Is it a GOOD school? Any parks nearby? Is the backyard big enough? Big enough kids bedroom or a place for a playroom? Are tiles really a good idea for my baby that is just starting to walk? That sort of thing.

You can't be selfish anymore. Seriously, that sucks. I HAVE to cook dinner. If I don't want to cook dinner, I still need to provide it in some way... I can't just go, "Meh, I don't feel like dinner so I'll jsut go to bed early..." because you've got someone else who relies on you. You might want a promotion, but it could take away a lot of family time, so you've got to weigh it up... and maybe give it up for the sake of spending more time with your child

Life really does change a lot when you go from childless to a parent...

[angeleish]

Firstly big :hugs: for your BFN. I'm so sorry that it didn't work for you and I truly hope this is the last BFN that you will see before your :bfp:!!

I think a "bucket list" is great. When we were doing IVF one of the things that kept me going was doing things that I knew my friends with children wouldn't be able to do. I figured if the universe didn't want me to have kids yet then the least I could do was make the most of it. So here are some of the things we did. Looking back as much as I hated the long haul TTC and IVF journey we had, some of the extra "couple time" DH and I got was truly wonderful.

Here are some of my suggestions:

* Date nights. Movies, dinners, pubs etc.

* Loooong sleep ins.

* Long sleep ins, late breaky and then back to bed for another sleep!!

* Weekend getaways (romantic B&B style)

* Day spa treatments

* A long indulgent drink of wine (between IVF cycles of course!!)

I hope for your sake that you wont be needing your bucket list for too long. However, good on you for doing your best to turn a negative situation into a positive one.

I wish you nothing but the best!!

[nikki08]

Just wanted to add after reading Angeleish's post, one thing we did regularly while TTC was spontaneous weekends away. We even hired a convertible after one of our BFN cycles and drove down the coast for a long weekend. It was a great way to celebrate what was good about our life at that time and take advantage of our lifestyle. It really lifted our spirits and now I look back I am so glad we took the time to do those things.

[Lucy in the Sky]

I forgot to say earlier (Sorry): Good on you, for finding a way to be so positive at such a hard time! Embracing life no matter what it throws at you is difficult at the best of times. I admire your attitude a lot.
And fingers crossed, you'll get your BFP soon! :yelclap:

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs: I am sorry you are going through this.

There is ALOT I miss!!

Being able to shower/go to the loo alone, not having the house trashed if I leave them alone out there. Going to dinner or a movie without having to organise a babysitter. Going to the pool on a hot day (when DH is home we do - but one parent plus 3-4 kids where only 1 can swim is not good). Things staying clean when you clean them.

It's mine and DH's wedding anniversary and I want to take him away for the night, but it's too hard organising a day around his work, school, daycare and a baby sitter. :no:

Being able to take a bath without other little bodies wanting to join me.

Not being able to book accomodation easily because std rooms fit 2adults plus 2 kids.

Earning my own money (without having to fork out a heap of it on childcare)

SLEEPING IN!!!!!!

[zombiekitty]

I miss sleep, reading a book when I want, watching WHOLE movie or T.V show (through the day), going out when I want and to where I want, going out for dinner, eating in peace, going to the toilet in peace, working (yes, I do!) and time alone with my husband.

[surfergal]

Oh Gosh Lindy there are so many things we sacrifice when we have those little ankle bighters... lol.. so much more than i ever imagined!!!

One thing I have really noticed is that before I could just pick up my handbag and walk out the door at anytime of the day, leisurely browse the shops and catch up with a friend for a coffee at anytime.. these days... if i don't go out with DD i hope and pray she goes down to bed for her morning sleep very quickly, rush out the door, whip around the shops with my trolley, constantly watching the time, and hoping DH doesnt ring in a fluster saying DD is awake and dire for a feed (we live 15 mins out of town) if i take DD with me, i have to take a gazillion things with me, time it that she wont' need a feed - DD is still BF and if she does need to be fed that there are appropriate facilities for feeding. Also i am always watching the clock.. DD needs to be home for her next sleep... this is just a small thing there are alot of other things we have sacrificed but they are all worth it,. hang in there...:xmas:

[made2bAmummy]

Being able to have a conversation with my DH without being interupted
Eating at the table instead of the bench (or on the bathroom floor while the kids are in the bath)
Cooking grown up food all the time
going out for dinner to anywhere we want to go, and staying for hours!
going to friends places and chatting the night away
concentration (baby brain wrecks your brain)
having energy (you are just constantly tired after babies)
not feeling physically exhausted
having arms that don't ache from holding kids
being able to talk on the phone without being yelled at or cried at
having a shower alone
going to the hairdresser more than once a year
waxing my legs
quiet
listening to the music i like
watching the tv shows i like when i want to
sleeping in
being spontaneous
going out without a handbag or nappy bag or drinks or changes of clothes or wipes
being irresponsible
having a clean tidy home
having a clean toilet
leaving doors open
leaving cupboards unlocked
having vases and ornaments around the place
having pot plants inside on the floor
doing art when the fancy takes me
sewing when the fancy takes me

[EternalOptimist]

Lindylou78: Oh honey :hugs:, i was wondering how you went with your BT as i hadn’t seen an update in the November thread. I am so sorry to hear those results; i had everything crossed for you. Are you going to go again in December/January or have a break? I will probably only be able to go again in January once i have a normal AF after this MC and infection. Have you had a chat to your FS about changing anything in your protocol for next time?

I have read over all of these comments and they have done so much for me, i have really been struggling the past week with everything and this has made me realise that i really do need to utilise this time before i am allowed to do my next transfer and do some of these things on the list. I have the day off today and spent the whole morning shopping and have arranged to make DH a lovely dinner tonight with a nice bottle of wine.

To all the ladies who put up the things they miss, i had no idea about some of these and it has been a real eye opener.

[SimpsonDesert]

Ladies,

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to give me your suggestions and share your experiences. I am certainly no longer dwelling on the negative, rather I'm thinking "I have SO much to do before these kiddies come along!"

I'll be making a list from all your posts and putting it up on the fridge :yes:. I know my turn will come, but for now I have lots of peaceful, quiet & lazy days to enjoy and most of all, ME time!

I really can't thank you all enough for helping me out of my 'poor me' rut :highfive:.

EO- I'm so happy to hear you were able to benefit from this thread too. We have to wait at least 4 months to try again. DH went back on the booze & coffee and stopped taking his vitamins. So he has to detox before another round of ICSI. My FS said my response & egg quality 1st time were excellent, so we don't need to change protocol. Just need to get that magic combination and the right embie!
Good luck for your FET :babydust2:

[SimpsonDesert]

Just thought I'd pop back in and share my finished 'before kids bucket list'. Thanks ever so much to each and every one of you for your contributions, you really have made a world of difference in my life :flowerz:. I'm sitting here in my silent house, dishes piled up, floors dirty, bludging on the computer and I'm not the least bit bothered by (or feeling guilty about) any of it!!



THINGS TO DO, ENJOY & MAKE THE MOST OF BEFORE KIDS!!

oSleep/ sleeping in/ snuggling
oSpontaneity
oDTD whenever/wherever we like
oGoing out for dinner, movies, etc
oCatching up with friends over a meal or coffee
oExercising when I want
oDoing things without planning around naps/bedtimes/school/child-friendliness
oSilence/ peace & quiet
oME time/ being alone
oTime alone with hubby
oShowering/bathing/going to the toilet in peace
oCooking what we like
oEating hot meals without sharing
oDrinking coffee before it goes cold
oNot cooking/cleaning if I don’t feel like it
oUninterrupted conversations (phone and face-to-face)
oLeaving the house with only handbag, keys & phone
oHolidays/ weekends away
oLazy weekends
oHouse staying reasonably clean for more than a day
oWatching TV/reading a book in peace
oNot having to watch a movie at minimum volume because the baby is sleeping
oListening to MY favourite music
oRunning errands quickly & easily
oHaving energy and being able to concentrate
oWearing what I want without worrying how to get a boob out
oDriving without a crying baby/fighting kids in the back
oNot constantly watching the clock and thinking about nap/feeding/school drop-off/pick- up times
oNot dealing with poo everyday
oLeaving doors and cupboards unlocked, and having ornaments where you want them
oShopping for myself at a leisurely pace, and having money to do it
oAppreciating my pre-baby body
oAdult company every day & contributing to the workforce

[Lucky2b Mum]

Great List!

I have only slept through the night (by that I mean for more than 4 consecutive hours) 11 times in more than 2 years ...

I miss drinking coffee for pleasure ... not just to keep me functioning
I miss finishing a thought
I miss walking without tripping over toys or toddlers - especially when I'm cooking!
I now smell baby poo - randomly ... in the shop, on the phone, at work ... I smell it and wonder if its in my hair

But God - oh God, I so miss sleep

[HaileesMummy]

Sleeping in, having a clean house, having money, being able to just get up and go out if I wanted without changing our dd putting her in decent clothes packing a drink and everything else, going to takeaway and getting what I want without it costing me a fortune coz dd wants a burger too and an ice-cream, dtd without having to be quiet and make sure the door is shut first, lots more!!!

[MissSteph]

Sleeping all night

Ducking out to the corner store to get milk without carting 2 kids.

Not having children on your mind when you go out without them. Ie going out for dinner with your partner without wondering if the kids have woken up etc

Just the freedom of doing what I want when I want

[Benji]

Having a disposable income, being able to go and get my hair done regularly, sleep and sleeping in (i.e. past 6.40 am), being able to watch TV/listen to music at a decent volume at night, being able to watch what I want on TV, not hearing "WATCH ME MUM" every 2 minutes while in the middle of doing something important, not having to clean bedding after accidents at night, being able to go to the mall with friends without having to rush in and out, HOT tea and coffee, sitting down before 9.30 pm each night, putting myself first... ever!, driving and being able to enjoy music.

Good luck :hugs:

[greenapple]

Hey girls please don't think I am complaining but so far with pregnancy in the first 10 weeks I had bad morning sickness and become a really fussy eater now almost 12 weeks I am finding I can't sleep i will sit up until 2 am every night starving hungry when I want to eat not always at dinner time or when everyone else eats lol and also eating only what I want to eat

I miss long night sleeps
I miss eating out with do
I miss my size 8 waist
I miss my small boobs (big ones get in the way)
I miss wearing my skinny jeans
I miss wearing what I want to wear unread of what hides my tummy
I miss being able to bath and bike my dogs
I miss ruffing up the dogs and being silly with them
I miss eating seafood and poached eggs

Make the moat of it, your bfp may be just around the corner and you too will have to change ur life around :)

[SimpsonDesert]

Thanks for the recent additions :). I can really see some common themes here and so glad I'm making a conscious effort to enjoy the things that you ladies have so selflessly given up for your families. I hope one day when your kids are older that you can reclaim most of the things you miss!

Hi Greenapple :wave:- Gosh, can't believe you're 12 wks already! And no, don't think you're complaining at all. Nothing wrong with missing some of the things that were part & parcel of your daily life before your BFP. You have also taught me something I didn't expect- that even after a sh!t TTC journey and failed IVF cycles, the "high" of the BFP doesn't make you immune to the not-so-nice things about pregnancy and you don't necessarily love every minute. I guess I thought that once I got there, I'd be in a constant state of bliss (until contractions anyway)!

[SuPeRsTaRrR]

I'm new to the parenting thing but the big thing I miss so far is being able to take a nap NOW not when baby is fed/changed/asleep!! I love my naps so its killing me!

[zombiekitty]

I miss eatinga full hot meal in peace, going to the toilet in peace and having long hot baths.

[MagicalLeopluradon]

1 thing I miss the most is just going shopping by myself and just basically being able to blow my money on whatever took my fancy!

[nicole83]

everyone says spontanaity but to be more specific; my friend and her husband celebrated their anniversary a few months ago. They decided to roadtrip to Sydney for the weekend. DH and I have never done that before, and it didn't even cross my mind before we had DD. We could never do that now. I bet they had so much fun together, singing loudly and seeing where they turn up :smiliedance:. My DD is at a stage where, unless she is tired, and if the drive is over 20 mins long - she screams/squeals for fun. Cute the first time, annoying the 20th. Just plain frustrating now.

And when she was newborn I missed being able to eat. It sounds crazy but you are so frikkin run off your feet caring for this newborn that you can barely feed yourself. And you just eat crap cos it's the easiest thing to grab.

And sleep...oh the sleep. Having a newborn and being up every few hours = feeling like you are constantly drunk :laughing:. Your head spins and you feel weak. When you think about it, mother's with newborns probably shouldn't be allowed to drive....But then again, who else is going to do all the million and one things that need to be done?!

[lilypily]

What a great thread to read when I have 2 weeks left of baby free life.... Will make me appriciate the next couple of weeks..... and maybe even fit a few things like having a long bath...

[SimpsonDesert]

Nice to see this thread revived, thanks Nicole83!

Wow Lily, only 2 weeks left :eek:. It feels like yesterday I was following your ED thread, now look at you... definitely squeeze in as many things as you can. The wise words of the Mums who replied are very enlightening!

[Californication]

Being able to pop to the shops for milk and only taking 5 minutes to do it. Now it's put him in the car, get him out the car, put the pram up, get milk, put him in the car, pram back down, get him out the car and getting milk takes 20 minutes! So I get Daddy to do it :)

But the kisses and cuddles make up for it!!

[millie08]

I miss being able to watch a tv show without being interrupted, having a shower/ toilet break alone, sleeping in, deciding on the spur of the moment to hit the pub/club, see a movie, have a social life without having to plan for babysitter. Being able to unwrap a chocolate bar without having to be extra careful not to make a sound so i dont have to share, i miss not having to share chocolate :laughing:

[Girl X]

A night out without worrying about an early start the next morning. Sometimes DD can stay at her grandparents', but just that freedom of having another glass of wine/ staying an extra half hour without thinking 'I am going to feel bad when a little person wakes me up at 6am tomorrow...'

A cup of tea that stays warm while I drink it.

Silence. Ahhhhhhh.

Going on a plane without a little person on my lap. Lovely and cuddly to start with. Not so lovely when she turns into a wriggly octopus/ it's a long flight.

Not feeling tired all the time.

(But I have to add the caveat that I love my wriggly octopus to bits, and would not swap her... well... not usually... ;))

[Me&MrMagoo]

-sleep
-my own time
-sleep
-not having to plan things around naps
-sleep
-riding my motorbike
-sleep
-sleep

Did I mention sleep?


( ... life's too short to sweat the small stuff ... )

[TripleTime]

Spontaneous life & my 2 door sports car *sigh*

[krystallxx]

A larger bank account lol ..

No not really. I miss sleeping more then 3hrs a night the most. I don't care much about anything else, plus I fell preg at 16 so I hadn't really started my life much.

[Californication]

A cup of tea that stays warm while I drink it.

A travel mug will solve that one :)

[Jensha]

being carefree
Leaving the house and only having to get myself ready
not having to pack a huge bag to go shopping or out in general
being able to just jump in the car last minute
sleep, reading, watching movies when I want
i miss the social life I had
my pre pregnancy body

:hugs:

ETA - Oh yes being able to finish a meal in peice and never forgetting what I was talking about in the middle of a word.
Not having to deal with tantrums.

[BabelFish]

Time.

[Annabella]

Silence.

[FearlessLeader]

sunday morning (and all of sunday) s€x

[Pinkzy]

Unbroken sleep.

[zombiekitty]

Silence.
Yes!!

[lilypily]

Im tyring to enjoy my solo time before baby comes.... I fall asleep watching TV... I get up when I want... I know its all about to end so I really am trying to appriciate the time...... Oh and slience....