Miss 3 doesn't want to go to kindy...

[HilaryGrace]

Miss 3 point blank refuses to go to kindy, she cries whenever I mention it. Recently I have just been keeing her at home with me. The kindy has had a lot of staff change overs, there is one staff member who I butt heads with all the time and my DD has been disciplined for defending herself from a child who tries to hit her, stand on her back, throw sand at her and pinch her. I guess I need help trying to figure out what to do next... I'm a single mum so I don't really have a lot of options left except to stop uni until Miss 3 is in Prep. Are there any alternatives to Kindy that might better suit my child? Am I doing the wrong thing keeping her home? I don't *think* I am, I just can't bring myself to take her to Kindy when she says she doesn't want to and she's crying... Is it just a phase or related to the abovementioned???

[1plus2]

When DD1 was 3 she started the same thing at a preschool she had been at for over a year. When ever i would drop her off she would become hysterical and when i was pregnant with DD2 it would have me crying as well!

It turned out that her room teacher was picking on her! Because she no longer wanted to have day sleeps, they would take her comfort teddy off her as punishment! She'd had that teddy since birth so it was a big deal for it to be taken away plus she said that there were other bullying happening as well.

I pulled her out of that preschool even though id paid up the rest of the year and kept her home with me. ( it was about 8 weeks that she didnt go)

when the new year started i enrolled her in a new kindy and she loved it! There were a few moments when she didnt want to go at first but once she worked out that the same teacher wasnt there anymore she happily went.

[Mahjong]

Family Day Care? Is that an option where you are?

[trishalishous]

I second family daycare if its possible.
I personally didn't go to kindy, then one day decided that I wanted to go to preschool, and luckily they had a vacancy.
mum was able to keep me home though, and do colours/shapes/numbers with me, so it wasn't an issue.

[MamaKoala]

I did what 1plus2 did when DS1 started becoming hysterical at childcare. It was such a sudden change that after him crying when I left 3 times I made the decision to pull him out. I let him stay home for a few months and then enrolled them in a different centre and he loved it there. Never had a problem after that.

I think if it's possible, find another centre or a FDC that you mesh well with. Also if you have any concerns about her treatment you should bring it up with administration.

[threeofthem]

I am having similar issues with my ds. He is enrolled in another kindy for next year and I am contemplating pulling him out for the rest of the year. It is a big decision to make. Family day care could be good for you, there is never more then 5 kids.

[HilaryGrace]

Thanks so much for your replies.

I did originally have her enrolled in FDC but at the last minute pulled her out because I couldn't wrap my mind around there only being one person there... if she was getting abused and there is only one person there I just kept thinking it might be harder to detect. That being said I deeply regret putting her in a mainstream day care. This is her second one, the first one she went to I pulled her out as I walking in on the DIRECTOR abusing a child. Maybe I am being hyper sensitive but it just feels wrong--- I don't want to undo all my work APing BUT I don't like the idea of her being shoved from pillar to post.

Can anyone maybe allieviate my fears of FDC???

[SpottySocks]

If you go with a registered Family Day Carer there are lots of checks that they have to go through to get registered. And they have to re-register each year.

I have used the same day carer for all 3 of my girls and she is lovely, yes they are with one carer all day and I suppose she could abuse them. That being said I know FDC do spot checks and I have been there when someone has turned up.

I like that fact that my daughter is only with 3 - 4 children and the carer, it is in a small family environment and they form great friendships with the other children and the carer. If you have a problem with a particular child or you want to know what has been said then the carer can be easily approached.

Prior to starting you can go along for a visit (or 2 or 3 whatever suits you), your child can have a play and you can see how the other children interact with the carer.

For me FDC was the best option - I wanted my girls to feel like they were in a home like environment not a school type environment. For me large day care centres just didn't feel right (I have nothing against them, just not our thing). FDC gave them some time away from me and the chance to make their own friends, it got them used to being away from me prior to starting school without being in a school like environment.

Goodluck.