View Full Version : are you "just" surviving?
Hi
I was wondering if anyone else is "just " surviving ~ hanging on by the fingernails so to speak?:(
I left work to spend some more quality time with DS and thought with DS Dad making regular payments plus Centrelink help, it would work out fine.
Of course the CSA Payments from DS Dad went pearshaped, and suddenly i find myself struggling every single day. I'm lucky that I have my mum, but she's 69 and on a Pension, so I can't really milk her LoL.
Yes, I have a budget, and my mum keeps telling me that I sholdn't count the CSA Payments into that, but I have to in order to have at least some money after rent, bils, etc.
But somehow, everytime I"m realy down, something great happens ( eg DS Dad makesa payment - woohoo) or I find something to sell on ebay etc....:D
I figured, as long as I can pay the rent and the bills and have enough food at home at least for bubs it should be fine, but boy, its bloody hard! Not to mention that I'm quite behind with my Phone/Intrnet Payments......:o
Especially when i think that i used to be on a fantastic salary package pre-bub. It all worked fine until about 8 weeks ago when DS Dad stopped making payments, and blame it on my pride, I will not call him and ask him whats going on, I dont want him to know that I am totally relying on his payments, so we can have a somewhat normal life...
Yes, there is the option of going back to work, and I am looking into that, but again it's not easy finding something when they know that you have a 17month old bub at home. And i'm dreading the payments for child care already....
maybe it's just me....:gloomy:
Yeah CSA knows that he's not payin, but legally they have to wait between 6 and 8 weeks before they can start using enforcement. But whenever this time runs out, he seems to making some payment ($100 here - $200 there) and gets away with it. :banghead:
We haven't spoken in 6 months, so I dont' really want to call him and start whinging if you know what i mean.
And I know what you mean by going back to work and the reduced payments/daycare payments, I looked at the same thing and IF get $40 more a week i'm lucky.
Cheekychops
31-08-2006, 09:57
Gribel - sounds like you are doing a great job....budgeting etc, it must be hard without knowing exactly what payments are going to come in, but it won't be like this forever.....just enjoy your little one as much as you can while he's little.....:hugs:
Hey Cel - so at least the $10 covers the cost of nappies for ..ummm.. 2 days ???:laughing:
It's a joke what they get away with and we're left to clean up the mess (literally) AND make sure that food gets on the table and we dont sleep under the bridge :banghead:
Cheekychops: :hugs: Thanks Yeah at least I am not missing out on the little things, and when you get kissed and cuddles it compensates for a lot:p
I am back at work to make sure I can cover all expenses and it is still hard - I am always amazed how stay at home mums survive on the payments as I struggle with a good income - good on you for doing it!
with work I negotiated to work form 9.30 to 4pm three days in the office and hooked up by remote access on the other two days so I get to spend time with Chanel - maybe you can discuss that with your work... then you get more income and time with your little one
lovingmumof 2now
02-09-2006, 21:10
I agree totally,
My sons DF is on pension himself and makes no payments at all
and my baby daughters DF pays 30 when he wants to.
I work p/t and get centrelink payments. BUT
If you work only parttime - please ring centrelink and ask about JET, it can help you with your child care fees. I only pay 10cents an hour.
Even with that I am still struggling though. As with working I only get about 60 dollars a week more. But I guess 60 dollars is more than nothing.
I hope this helps.
I just want to give all of you that are "just surviving" because of exes not paying lots of :hugs: . I am lucky enough to have an ex who pays quite a decent amount every month without fail which allows me to be able to stay home with Bug. Well done to you all for doing your best to give your wonderful children happy and loving lives.
Thanks Mum2Bug
it's nice to know that other people can see how hard it can be and that we are not "just" whinging!!!:no:
claireandbailey
03-09-2006, 08:49
i dont know how other single mum's do it!!!!! i am a single mum but i am in a great situation where i live with my mum and we have a mortgaget together. Mum is always at work so its basically like i live by myself! Mum always helps me out with money if i need it or if i need anything for Bailey!
I get child support evey month now becos it is garnished out of Bailey's dads wage due to him not paying for a while! That money is a great help i use it to buy everything Bailey needs for the month and most times there is a bit left over for me! I am studying at the moment two nites a week so i also get some money every fortnight for studying. and i am pretty lucky that my sister can look after Bailey when i am at Tafe so i dont need to pay for childcare.
i think that those mums that have to struggle are 'forgotten' by the government! there should be something out there that can help everyone! I also hate those mums that are in relationships that are claiming single parent pension as well! My ex-best friend was and i actually dobbed her in cos i hated the fact that there are mums out there that are struggling and she got to flaunt all this money she was getting!
Yeah Mum and I live together, too. We're sharing the rent and split the bills, but without the CSA Payments i'm totally struggeling! IF it was regulated, I could breath heaps easier and wouldn't have to worry about bills and that too much. Mum does help me out a bit, but she's on a (age) pension, so i dont want to ask her for $$$ all the time
claireandbailey ~ It's great that you have the freedom to do things and have the support of the family, it helps a lot!!!:thumbsup:
This way we get to live a somewhat "normal" life!:D
CSA don't do anything till it's 6-8 weeks behind? Are you sure you are talking to the right dept? My ex didn't pay and the enforcement dept got onto it straight away and 3 days later the money was in my account.
You need to put your foot down and tell them to bloody sort it out and if they don't tell Centrelink that you are hardly getting anything from CSA and they should pay you based on the CSA payments you are getting, not the CSA you are entitled to.
CSA don't do anything till it's 6-8 weeks behind? Are you sure you are talking to the right dept? My ex didn't pay and the enforcement dept got onto it straight away and 3 days later the money was in my account.
You need to put your foot down and tell them to bloody sort it out and if they don't tell Centrelink that you are hardly getting anything from CSA and they should pay you based on the CSA payments you are getting, not the CSA you are entitled to.
I didn't know that this would also influence my Centrelink payments? Should I be talking to Centrelink or would they do it? :confused:
Everytime I rang CSA ( ummmm 2-3 times a week) they told me that they are trying to resolve this with him via a Casemanager ~ as i said, 8 weeks later and he's only making minimal payments. :banghead:
I will call them tomorrow again and check out the Centrelink stuff with them
Thanks for the tip!:thumbsup:
i dont know how other single mum's do it!!!!!
i think that those mums that have to struggle are 'forgotten' by the government! there should be something out there that can help everyone!
Being a single mum since day dot was very hard to get used too but I think the ladies who had the DP/DF/DH support earlier then they find themselves single are the true hero's in my book as it will be harder to adjust from the support to nothing. I had nothing to start with so even tho hard it wasn't such a huge adjustement or bother going from support to nothing. Don't get me wrong I went from a $60,000 a year job down to (my last tax) $16,000 a year it's a huge transition to make and I miss that money so much, but being single, carefree and having a good job, I wasted my money on just things. I was paid monthly and I found out I was pregnant when I was 7mths so I had 2 pays left, and in that time I had to get all the equipment then the father did a runner.
Your right in saying the government do forget us mums expecially single mums, we were working before having our child and because the father doesn't want anything to do the child is not our fault but we are penalised for it.
My DS is now 2 1/2 and I have lived with my father since he was born and I have had to live of my father and still am. I'm 30+ and still living with and rellying on my father's money, I feel like a failure, useless, all the bad names under the sun Moocher!! but when it came to be able to provide for my DS it's the only thing I could do. I know my dad wouldn't have it any other way but he is unable to save for anything for himself as his spare cash comes to us.
I went back to work when my DS was 8wks old and full time when he was 6mths old. I gave up full time work June 05 as I was working 5 1/2 days to pay for 5 days C/C it wasn't worth missing out on my DS growing up. I've really struggled over the past year and my DS has had to miss out on a lot not to mention what I've missed out on like having a haircut or new clothes (as I've lost a bit of weight) but I have a part time job now and it seems to be going ok, I don't have to ask dad for as much money as I usually do.
Budgets work to a point when something unexpected happens which unfortuantley it always happens when you have little money left over. I have a budget on my wall near the computer and not one thing on it is for entertainment or personal spending. It's all Private Health, Car, C/C, Rent, Groceries, Phone/Gas/Power, Rego, Insurance etc.. payments Each month I am $137.00 behind so that's the amount I need to borrow off my dad. I had alot of debts when I was single and working, now I'm not working have an extra mouth to feed and body to clothe but I still have those debts.
I am lucky to get CSA, I use it to pay dad back and get things for DS that he has missed out on, last months CSA wnet on a new wardrobe of size 3 for DS and a booster seat.
Sorry about the :ecomcity:
StrawberryTheMilkshake
03-09-2006, 14:37
Hi guys
Im a single mum too and im afraid im not going to disclose too much more because my ex lurks and looks for hints about my life.
BUT.
It doesnt matter if the CSA payments arent being made, centrelink WILL NOT make up that money until tax time. And, if the other parent pays the minimum of $5 a week they can not chase them or enforce payment because they are said to be making 'regular payments'. Trust me, been down the path on this one. My payments are due on the 3rd Wed of every month and my game playing ex doesnt pay until the 30th. So CSA cant touch him.
Also, I work part time but im finding im still struggling. Im now going to full time work because i cant afford the centrelink/ part time finances anymore. (its about $150 a fortnight better off me working full time, and im afraid im that deperate i have to do that).
So, Im not relying on CSA payments or centrelink anymore. I just cant do it otherwise... i hate living week to week and not having any savings. Its ridiculous.
Stay strong ladies, we are all survivors and should hold our heads up high.
AM
And to my ex, if you work out this is me... you make me :barf:
[quote Loopi ~ Being a single mum since day dot was very hard to get used too but I think the ladies who had the DP/DF/DH support earlier then they find themselves single are the true hero's in my book as it will be harder to adjust from the support to nothing. I had nothing to start with so even tho hard it wasn't such a huge adjustement or bother going from support to nothing ]
Yeah you're right, i can't even imagine how it would be having full support and then non at all.
I know I shouldn't be calculating CS in my budget, but i just have to. it sucks - no doubt about that ~ but the fact that I'm relying on someone else to pay me (eg CS) bothers me even more!:mad:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.