HELP! 19mnth old and sharing

[our little treasures]

How do I teach my 19mnth old to share!!! My daughter attends playgroup and when someone takes something off her she screams (high pitched) and today she was actually in a flood of tears. It seems to be over the same toy a wooden sink where she stands and puts the cup under and pretends to drink. She does this for a long time.

She is very advanced for her age but I don't know how to approach this the right way. Last playgroup she strangled a poor guy and ripped his hair - this is not like her.
I'm not sure if this has to do with she is on her own at home (with a four wk old) and all the toys belong to her?????

SOMEONE give me some advice!!!!!

[Chickadee]

I haven't had to go through this much yet, daycare seems to be instilling the right ideas in DD so far. But I've been told by other mums and read over and over that toddlers can't (or don't) understand the concept of sharing. It's better to talk about taking turns. So possibly some words about how the toys are for everyone to play with, that she mustn't take toys off other children (she should ask), and that if someone else wants her toy it would be nice to let them play when she's done.

And on that note, this part of your post bothered me:


.... and when someone takes something off her...
Where is the other parent and why isn't the other child being taught not to take toys off other children? This may be something to discuss with the other mums or whoever organises the playgroup.

[Rell]

At this age shareing is not something they understand. I always found the best way of teaching kids to share is by doing role playing at home. Sit on the floor and show her how to take turns at playing with a toy (one she loves), saying things like "you have had a go now its mummy's turn". If all goes well try doing the same thing with another child. I have also taught my daughter how to ask kids nicely to play with a toy, of cause more than not the other child screams No and runns away.
This what I find works for me hope it can help you with your problem

[our little treasures]

I have heard they don't understand until they are 4, but she really does get worked up. I am the president of this playgroup but I notice the other mums dont seem to notice probably due to our dd screaming and theirs being quite.

thanks for your ideas

[Crazyfamily]

I am probably different to most people but I believe that if a child needs to give the toy to someone else to share it then it isn't fair and they shouldn't have to do so until they are finished with it. But in saying that if my children are playing with something that is able to be shared eg. blocks, tea sets etc they are made to share the set. I may not be popular for that comment but it works very well in our life and when I go somewhere else I ALWAYS make my children live by that persons rules.

[our little treasures]

well thanks everyone I'll keep trying:-(

[SMBT]

According to an article in Practical Parenting a child does not understand the concept of sharing until at least 5 years of age.

You must realise that children as young as yours and mine are still in the toddler years of self satisfaction. They have no concept of sharing because their little minds are filled with me, me, me and mine, mine, mine!

I do agree that role playing does tend to help problem situations, but then it might be an advantage to help your child to just walk away and find something else to play with. Usually the parent has to be on hand to give the child something else to amuse themselves and distract them from the situation.

This happens all the time at my playgroup. The kids won't share toys and then all hell breaks loose, because some child will either bite, hit or push. Not a happy scenario, but I do find that moving in quickly and distracting the kids with parental control often makes the situation less stressful for everyone.