confused

[smileygirl]

ok...i am getting myself all worked up and i am not sure what to do...so i hope this is the best place to come for some support.

A bit of background...we ttc for 3 years inc ivf to get our lil girl...and she is 7 weeks old tomorrow. We had a very traumatic birth...fetal distress, emergency c section, she spent 2 days in special care and i was too sick to see her very much...basically as far from my natural birth as i could possibly get (although needed or we both would have died).

So now, i can barely let her out of my sight. I think it is a natural thing...and i am very happy. I have managed to get breast feeding really well established, she is sleeping well (sometimes with me, sometimes in the basinet that is right next to my head). DH spends time with her but i really don't want anyone else holding her...well, other then DS of course.

Anyway, it has started to be commented upon and laughed at by other people i know...especially the mums at school. A few have had a cuddle...and they think it is funny that i stay with them...and laughed at that i don't really take my eyes off her.

And my biggest worry atm, there is a party next weekend and i am expected to go and leave Zoe at home...and i really don't want to go. Not that i feel like I am not allowed or DH does not want me too...but i don't want to be away from my family even for a few hours.

i feel like this time is so short...with her being so tiny... i don't want to rush off and do stuff i don't want to and miss any of it. I go back to uni in March and she will be going to occational care then...so why do i have to feel so guilty for loving being at home with my lil family until then....

[BabushkaMumma]

All your emotions are totally natural, expected and warranted! What silly mummies for laughing when you stay close by! She's a newborn that needs her mumma and it's so dismissive of those people!
I'm so sorry you had issues with your birth :( no wonder your taking the time now to enjoy the company of your baby :)
About the party - if you don't feel comfortable, don't go. I know you said that bubs isn't welcome - what about wrapped in a sling? Maybe she won't be noticed :) hehehe
Hang in there and trust that internal voice :) congrats on the arrival of your much wanted bubba :) x


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[MissSookyLaLa]

umm she is only 7 weeks old, stay home if you want to stay home! :hugs:

[smileygirl]

thank you...it helps to hear i am not insane lol

The party has a live band etc and would be too loud for her...so it is not that she is "not welcome" but it is really not suitable...

i just have to remind myself to trust my feelings...but i feel undermined and it makes me doubt myself.

[lizzyplus4]

don't feel guilty! they are only small for a short time, so enjoy it....
and it might be hard to ignore, but stuff what the other mums think- she's your precious cargo! i hate how people assume they should get to hold the baby.

[moozle]

People are going to think what they want to think. If you do let them take her away from you when they hold her, they'll probably laugh that you just don't care so either way, you can't win.

Don't go to the party. You clearly don't want to, so don't. I really wouldn't care what people say. She's your daughter and you should do what you think is best for her and yourself.

[overitand36]

i hate how people assume they should get to hold the baby.

Yes what is it with parsing babies around like a sack of potatoes we all like our personal space and not being touched by everyone we meet yet babies are meant to put up with it??

[Thermolicious]

Trust those Mumma instincts, you know best, don't let anyone tell you your doing it wrong or put you down :goodvibes:

[smileygirl]

i wonder if the "ringleader" knows it upsets me...she is lovely...perhaps i should have a quiet word and let her know it upsets me...mmm, will have to wait till i am having a good day lol