Ok ladies, i'm just going to go ahead and ask it.. (really sorry TMI)

[*Lauren*]

Hi girls, :wave:

I'm a first time mama and i'm due around 23rd Dec. I've considered all my options on whether i want a Natural or elective c-section and here's the decider because there would be noone better to ask than all of you..

Just how damaged were you after your natural birth?? my number 1 fear about giving birth naturally is the aftermath and i mean LONG-TERM effects to the 'downstairs' area...

I know that after pregnancy your body is just never the same again, i can handle that. But forgive me, before you give birth everything is nice and neat and toned and afterwards i'm thinking it's just not and sex can never be the same again :no:..

I had one horror story told to me that Julianne (my friend) gave birth and her uterus didn't contract and she was awfully damaged , she gave birth a year ago and still hasn't been able to have sex again since....

Thanks for reading all. :yelclap:
Again sorry if it's just a lil tmi, i just really needed to get it out there.. :thumbsup:

[Melo]

I had a natural birth and a huge Episiotomy. I found downstairs to be normal within 6 weeks after the birth. Sex is the same (if not BETTER) now then it was before bub.

[misskittyfantastico]

All my bits are just as they were! I had a few stitches and was swollen and sore, but within a week that had subsided.

There are horror stories for VB's, just as there are for caesers. Try not to worry, I'm sure you'll be just fine:)

[bigglet]

I gave birth naturally without the epidural (but I did have an episiotomy - sounds worse than it actually was) and was AMAZED that straight after giving birth and being stitched up I got up from the bed and walked to the shower and was able to move about as if what I had just gone through the last 25 hours was nothing!!! :D

My other friends who had c-sections had a longer recovery time. Some of them had emergency c-sections - you may have all the best intentions for your birth or have it planned a certain way only to have it thrown out the window when the time actually comes ! :laughing:

If you are worried about "downstairs" being stretched - three words: pelvic floor exercises!!!! :p

[rynosmum]

Hmmm...I debated putting this phrase in but it was the one that a friend used to explain the same thing when I was pregnant.

"Don't worry!" they said, "It'll be fine. It might change a little but it's not like kicking sausages down hallways":laughing:

I may have to come back and self-moderate that one:o

[Melo]

I gave birth naturally without the epidural (but I did have an episiotomy - sounds worse than it actually was) and was AMAZED that straight after giving birth and being stitched up I got up from the bed and walked to the shower and was able to move about as if what I had just gone through the last 25 hours was nothing!!! :D



Thats exactly what I was TRYING to get across! I didnt have the epidural either.

[WeThree]

Rynosmum, I am shocked! :eek: :p

Dont worry Lauren, it seems hard to believe, but our bodies are designed just for such an event! and within a couple of weeks, your downstairs area will be as good as new!
Of course there is a small percentage of people who suffer long term damage, but you are at a higher risk of something going wrong from an elective c section than you are from pushing bubs out the ole' fashioned way!
Come on, repeat after me: 'I am a powerful, beautiful birthing Goddess, I am a powerful, beau........' (you get the idea) :D
You can do it!!

[*Lauren*]

You ladies are wonderful,:yelclap: I'm a bit embarrassed to ask some people because i never know the reaction.. :o

Ryno'smum- thankyou for the chuckle, everyone at worked stared at me when i laughed.. :laughing:

I couldn't excatly turn around and say " Don't worry just discussing the stretching of the vagina after birth"..... I just said "funny email"..

[Bubble*Crazy]

There are horror stories for VB's, just as there are for caesers. Try not to worry, I'm sure you'll be just fine:)

Just remember, you always hear the horror stories over the wonderful stories.

And, here I go with mine!!! I had a 3rd degree tear with DD that took 4-5 months to heal properly (I now blame the hospy staff as they didn't believe I was ready to push, so if I had guidance I think I would have been fine. Moral - make sure you let them know what's happening and if you can't do it yourself, make sure you have a great support person that can INSIST on your wishes if need be).

With DS they gave me a HUGE episiotomy (2 cuts) so I didn't tear again and if I'd not known I did, I wouldn't have been any the wiser. I didn't need any pain relief for the stitches or cut at all. Exactly the same as bigglet. But she worded it better :rolleyes: ...



"Don't worry!" they said, "It'll be fine. It might change a little but it's not like kicking sausages down hallways"

ROFLMAO :laughing: :laughing:

[WeThree]

I couldn't excatly turn around and say " Don't worry just discussing the stretching of the vagina after birth"..... I just said "funny email"..

:laughing: :laughing:
Now that would have been an interesting conversation starter for your tea break :D

edited to add:
another thing I want you to repeat after me:
'Pelvic floor exercises are my friend, pelvic floor exercises are my friend' :thumbsup:
'

[*Lauren*]

coopsntilly- I think " I am woman hear me Roar.." will be by affirmations if i decide on natural birth.. :laughing:

[WeThree]

coopsntilly- I think " I am woman hear me Roar.." will be by affirmations if i decide on natural birth.. :laughing:


Ohhh, that is a good one as well!! :D

You will feel like that as well, I cant describe the high you will get, its like you have just conquered everest or something, only better, like you could take on anyone or anything and you wouldnt be afraid, because if you can do that, you can do anything! :smiliedance:

[misskittyfantastico]

Yup:yes: you definately feel a high like no other..

Also RM! you rudey!:p

[SamanthaJane]

Rynosmum- LMAO! :laughing:

What a lovely quote :laughing:

Lauren, i had a freak out about a month ago and started a thread like this one...

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=26888

I got some helpful responses!!!

I'm still a little freaked out... but i just remember one bubhubber's quote "It all "snaps" back into place like a rubber band" :laughing:

Good luck :D

[emsandolivia]

I had natural birth with no epidural. I also had vacuum delivery and had lots and lots of stiches afterwards due to a 2nd degree tear..

Was a little tender afterwards as you can imagine but felt like normal within a week and after my 6 week we returned to our normal bedroom habits (if you know what i mean) if anything i'd say its better down there than before!! I reckon the other half asked them to throw in an extra couple of stiches!! ha ha

It'll all be over before u know it and you'll be thinking about planning the nxt one!! :laughing:

[Niki]

i find sex the same i had an epidural nad stiche, i asked df ages ago if i was different and he said no

[*Sparkles*]

Unfortunately I have a horror story to tell about a friend of mine.
She has had 2 kids by VB and after #2 she had a prolapsed uterus (spelling?). And at one stage her cervix was protruding at the opening of her vagina:eek: . She cannot wear a tampon now as it won't stay in. Not sure what her sex life is like though.
She blames the fact that when delivering #2 she was waiting for an epidural when baby was almost crowning and she held off pushing. Not really sure if this would be the reason why though?

Personally, I am hoping to have a VB but I am considering a water birth as I have heard that this can help to soften everything, reduce the soreness and less likely to tear. I am also doing my pelvic floor exercises :thumbsup:

[Charlie'sMum]

I was 24 when I gave birth to my DD - I only had a pethadine and gave birth naturally.

I gave birth on a Tuesday and exactly one week later, my husband and I had sex again (I was too scared to ask him if it still felt the same!). But felt the same to me! (little tender though)

It goes to show that your body is an amazing thing and if you are relaxed during the birth, your body will relax and heel quicker.

Don't forget if you go for an elective C-section, it is major abdominal surgery - you will take longer to mend.

Gee, I admire the women that have caesareans and then look after their new bubs with breastfeeding, bending and picking them up etc.. I couldn't have done it!

[Seekrit]

would you believe it if I said it snapped back like a rubber band?

I had a second degree tear after a quick birth..
4 weeks after welcoming Cobey into the world and I felt like it was my first time again.. :o

[aprilbaby]

I had an extremely fast delivery (75mins from start to finish) and my DS came hurtling out of me, head and body in one contraction, so there's was no time for anything to strech and I ended up with a 2nd degree tear as well as an episiodomy.

I was pretty sore for the first few weeks, still tender for about 8 weeks and back to normal at about 3-4 months. I have heard fast labours have a longer recovery and this was true for me.

In terms of the impact down there, I'm surprised how neat the epi scar is and it doesn't bother me at all and I have noticed (nothing like looking at your bits with a mirror:o ) that the opening is shrinking more and more all the time (no way around the TMI is there?!)

I was very slack with my pelvic floor exercises at first until my OB told me off and said I needed to put in major effort because of my situation. I have now been doing them all the time and I can feel and see (again with the mirror:o ) a big improvement.

So, yes it has been a bit annoying, BUT I would not have given up the experience of a natural birth for anything in the world. It was the most amazing, empowering thing I have ever done and it was worth every second of annoying recovery.

Hope this helps, good luck! And remember the squeezes!

[Merlion]

"Don't worry!" they said, "It'll be fine. It might change a little but it's not like kicking sausages down hallways":laughing:

I may have to come back and self-moderate that one:o

I love that quote thats funny. I had all intentions of having natural birth with J but landed up having an emerg c-sect due to pre-eclampsia and J going into stress. With the next one I'm going all naturale if possible.

My best friend had to have a cyst removed plus one ovary removed when she was 12 weeks pregnant and founded it harder to recover as she could only take panadol and had a c-section when DD1 was born and she said for any others she will have c-sect as she said "it was more convenient".

To each its own I say. I hated being helpless for the first 2 days. Couldn't sit up and pick up my daughter the 1st day as I was numb for stomach down and when I got feeling in my legs I couldn't hardly move. 2nd day Jess went into neo-natal due to low blood sugar levels about 1pm but I had to wait till hubbie to finish work at 5pm to help get in a wheelchair to take my downstairs to neo-natal because I couldn't get there under my own steam. I was so determined to see my daughter the 2nd day that I walked up and down the corridors for majority of the 2nd night in humongous pain so I could spend as much time with her.

The nurses were suprised to see me downstairs in neo-natal on the 2nd day without the wheelchair.

[MrsTwith3]

I have to tell you that it is a myth that by having a c/s will save you from having "your downstairs bits from stretching". It is the actual carrying the baby inutero that will put the pressure on your pelvic floor. As the other wonderful ladies have said it takes so much longer to recover from a c/s then a normal vb.
Just remember...1,2,3 and hold......gently release.
Goodluck.

Mel

[xkwzit]

I had two VBs with episiotomies (no other intervention) and epidurals and I can report that I can't feel any difference. I was not very good about doing my pelvic floor exercises either :p

*whispers* I have also asked DH if he notices any difference and he doesn't - don't tell him I told you though :D

Cheers

[shed]

In my natural birth classes we learned that its like a concertina, its designed to stretch out and snap back. It doesn't really "stretch" as such, just concertina's out, if you know what I mean and then concertina's back.

If you take your time and only push when you feel the need (ignore anyone cheering from the sidelines and telling you to PUSH like in the movies) then the baby's head will gently massage the canal open and the skin will have time to stretch to accommodate this. Pregnancy hormones help the skin to be more stretchy at the time anyway.

[bronny-jane]

:D ive had 2 about to have number 3 and i dont feel any different downstairs then befor kids:D

[Areca]

No difference here...in fact things are better now. I had a 2nd degree tear too...no pain from it, healed just fine.
Like a pp said, it's not so much labour that kills your pelvic floor muscles, it's being pg that does that. Make sure you do your pelvic floor muscles every day.

[subaruforestermum]

Not that I want to scare you but I had one of those horror VB stories....

I gave birth with no drugs, and was a fairly quick labour, only bout 3 hours, but I was torn into numerous pieces, and when in surgery I had to have a spinal tap, so I was awake through the whole 5hour plus surgery, and had to listen to the doctors and nurses talk about how badly I was torn......to make matters worse the doctor eventually came up to me and said "do you remember what you looked like, because we're having trouble putting a few of the pieces back together so it looks normal again"...........:eek: .

I was unable to move for days, to make matters worse I had to get 3 bags of blood, and antibiotic/pain killers, so I could barely move my hands, and did not feel 'right' down there since....as still get uncomfortable pains.......plus it has given me a fear of getting pregnant again....

As many have said, everyones situation is different, and you may well have an easy birth.......

[tickle]

As you have probably already noticed it is pretty rare to have on-going problems after a v/birth, they do happen just not that often. You are much more likely to have complications after an elective. It might not be downstairs but they tend to be more life threatening.
I've had a v/birth and an elective and I have no on-going issues from the v/birth but still a few from the c/section (scar pain, iron deficiency and the problems that accompany it) 4 months on. Everyone has different experiences and there are many that have great c/sections but statistics are on your side with a v/birth. Good luck with it all.:)

[*~alegna~*]

:crying: :banghead:
came up to me and said "do you remember what you looked like, because we're having trouble putting a few of the pieces back together so it looks normal again"

Oh my goodness!...That has to be the most unprofessional thing I haave ever heard let alone the most insensitive!...I'll say sorry for hiim:kiss:

[reAllytee]

Ok i wont tell my story because yes its another horror type story that you dont need to hear.
Believe me when i say like tickle that having problems is rare just like childbirth it isnt necessarily all about a horrible experience.
I may have had bad luck but i can certainly say hearing the wonderful stories of many mums makes me hope for something better & in fact i know it can happen !
I had a big baby that i couldnt handle but that was me so my best advice is be prepared for a little change just like that of your tummy with stretchmarks then you will be happily suprised with how little that matters.
Just like childbirth be prepared for all your situations but know that you can handle anything you need to when the time comes.
Good luck !

[melfunction]

Don't worry love, there will be no echo....

[*Lauren*]

Hi ladies,

Well been in with my OB and 2 doctors and i have to go with a c/section as i have a 85% of bubs getting stuck and also i have a couple of medical problems which won't allow me to have VB. So it's a bit unfortunate but as i said I'm comfortable with either just as long as she gets out ok, I'm not going to be a drama queen I've raised my concerns but sometimes there's not a lot you can do..

I'm of European background and my grandmother was telling me that in her village she knew 10 women in her day that died in childbirth because of breech, blood loss, baby getting stuck and back in those days the women that couldnt handle it just died :crying:. They also didn't have ANYONE with them giving birth they were left in a room on their own..

thank god we have the medical service we do now..

So I'm happy just hoping for a good recovery after c/section. :yes: also i get to be home for chrissie which is a wonderful thought to join in the big celebration at home!

X Lauren:yelclap:

[Pixie]

i'd like to say that no matter how you have your baby things can change "downstairs" as it's the hormones of pregnancy that do it to you! I had an emergency C/section and things were different down there after 2 and a bit hours of pushing :rolleyes: but within 3 weeks everything was OK ;)

[~Emmylou~]

I had a vag birth and I'm not damaged down there at all. Sex is better now, much better actually, than it was before.

[tomtom]

I've had 3 babies all vb's 1 epidural with episiodemi (spelling?) 2 natural tears. With second one could'nt use tampons for a while, they kept coming out, but not long after everything ok, and no problem at all after the 3rd. Sex is still great!

[stellarella]

I would be far more concerned about c sec scar. i know people who whos scars cause them pain forever after.

Think about it this way. A vaginal birth is the way nature intended it. I had a 2nd degree tear and it was better in a couple of weeks.

a c sec is MAJOR abdominal surgery. A vaginal birth is a natural process.

[Cupcake]

I had a Vaginal birth & she was 11 pound, I was cut & then I tore alot & had more stitches than they could count!!
But I healed fine & was only uncomfortable for a few weeks.
I am all for trying to have bubs natural if it is possible, although she was big I am so glad I had the chance to have her vaginally..

[M O P]

thank god we have the medical service we do now..

So I'm happy just hoping for a good recovery after c/section.

:thumbsup: All the best Lauren.

[alanasmum]

One thing I've realised since having my little girl is that you can't predict how your labour will go. I've had lots of friends give birth this year and every story has been different.

I was always terrified of giving birth naturally. Before I was pregnant I said that when the time came I would definitely have an elective caesarean. I used to look at women who had given birth and think they were in a different league because they had done this amazing thing. Once I was pregnant I started to change my mind about the caesarean... I was still terrified of labour but I wanted to at least give it a go.

I ended up being induced because my doc suspected that our bub was small. I was induced at 1.30 in the afternoon and had her at 5.16pm! I swore I was going to have an epidural but gas and pethidine was enough for me!

As far as my recovery goes, I wasn't as sore as I expected. Because I didn't have an epidural I could get up straight after the birth and have a shower and then I walked my beautiful little girl to our room. I had an episiotomy and tore quite badly because of the quick labour, but ice packs and panadol was all I needed to deal with that and after about 10 days I felt great!

Best of luck... just go with what your heart tells you to do. ;)

[Lisa123]

Hi girls, :wave:

Just how damaged were you after your natural birth?? my number 1 fear about giving birth naturally is the aftermath and i mean LONG-TERM effects to the 'downstairs' area...

I know that after pregnancy your body is just never the same again, i can handle that. But forgive me, before you give birth everything is nice and neat and toned and afterwards i'm thinking it's just not and sex can never be the same again :no:..


I had stiches after my natural birth, it took about a month for my body to really adjust to not being pregnant, I was just physically drained, but now, a year on, my body has never been better, I won't be ashamed to get into my bikini this summer, I don't have any strech marks and my tummy is just as toned as it was before. It all depends on your body and whether or not your willing to take the time to get back into shape. :smiliedance:

[Chanelc]

Don't listen to the horror stories!! I heard them before I gave birth and I was freaking for days.
I was induced and went straight into labour
I think my birth story is perffffect :smiliedance: as I was only in labour for 5 and half hours had the drugs, got the cut, and focused on breathing and push harded - amazingly it only took me 8 strong pushes to help Chanel enter the world... so my story I hope makes you see short labour and no drama's - had sex as soon as the 6 weeks (standard for the cut) was up

[jessgray]

i had stiches down there after ds1 and all my bits work just as they did before he came along lol :thumbsup: no horror story here
the stiches were a bit sore for a few days but i guess thats normal

[jaydensmum]

Hi Lauren i can remember thinking the same thing when i was pg with my 1st. Try to remember that our bodies have been designed to give birth and that means recovering from it too. I dont feel any different in that area and ive had 2 children. If anything i think that sex has got better since having my kids. :yes: My DH hasnt got any complaints and if anything wraps up how good it feels for him, sorry for TMI! :o I think that you have to make the decision based upon whats best for you and your baby. I truely believe that c- sections are best left for emergencies (sorry if i have offended anyone). It takes longer to recover from a c-section then a natural birth. I walked out of the delivery suite within 1/2hr with both of my kids. Its in my opinion that you seriously try and weigh up both ways and decide whats best for you. Try not to listen to horror stories as they dont happen to everyone. Good luck and let us know how you go with the big day! :D

jaydensmum