Advice would be great!

[sarz2009]

hmmm where do i begin?? me n DP have been having tro0uble ever since our DS was born (he turns 1 next week!! :yelclap:) i have attempted to leave many times but failed because he threatened to get custody of DS :no: and i really dont think he is capable of looking after our son - he abuses him, complains he isnt his, even caught him smack him when he was only 7 months old!!

in August i got a Police family violence order out against him as 1 night he held a knife to my throat while i had DS in my arms (screaming as he was so scared), he held it to his own throat and was yelling at me. the same night he kicked my nappy bag across the room missing DS's head by inches.

shortly after the order was in place i made peace so DS could see his brother cuz i felt like i was punishing DS by him not seeing his brother.

so we have been still arguing for the past few months on and off and i get accused everyday of seeing someone behind his back and a whole lot of other ridiculous cr*p. but it was only today my sister and mum seen how he gets and they have urged me to leave him for good.

i know they are right, my DS is my world and he means so much to me but i know DS will want to see him but i really dont want him to have DS alone IYKWIM he has threaten to burn my car out with us both in it. how is that showing he loves his son?? i wouldnt be able to sleep at night knowing that he could be alone with our son! :crying:

sorry to bore you all but im in a bit of a muddle

[gizmoduckus]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[onkybear]

Personally I would start running and never look back. If it was me and my life and childrens lives where threatened I would hide from him. And get and avo immediately. But thats me.

If you are not going to leave RIGHT THIS SECOND I would advise you to get a diary and write EVERYTHING DOWN. Exactly what threats he makes dates and times, everytime he gets physical etc. I would then start to gather copies of everything, his pay slips, bank statements, old tax assessments, birth certs etc. I would also start stashing money. Wheather its $2 or $50 it all helps to set up a new life. I would start looking into cost of living, rent, food etc also start looking for rentals and when ready to go apply for a rental and not tell him just leave when he is not there. Just remember I believe, and I could be wrong, But child protection can step in if they find your baby is being abused. I hope someone can give you some helpful advice and I just want to offer you :hugs::hugs:

[sarz2009]

thanks. i feel so silly for letting it get this far!! its DS's party this Saturday, then his birthday on Wednesday. i dont live with the monster thank goodness but i am planning to leave just after xmas, just me and bub. im looking at places right now

[StretchmarkBarbie]

If that was my baby at risk I would be packing up asap and getting out of there.

[Amara]

If you are not living with him stop seeing him and get some legal advice re the access issues.

[peanutbutter&jelly]

:no: You need to leave before you too lose your baby.
Its your job to protect him, and if not leaving isn't protecting him...
I know its hard, but even by posting here you've taken the first step, there are plenty of others who have been in similar situations here and plenty who can point you in the right direction for more assistance :)

[HELPihavea2yrold!]

Sent you a PM. (GBH)

[sammyplus3]

i was in a similar situation to u a few years back my dd1 was 1 1/2 and was 8 months pregger with dd2 he washigh as a kite one night came home started yelling at me then i yelled back he pushed and shoved me i got dd1 out of bed put her in the car tried to drive awaybut he kept getting in the way would have run him over thought i better not. This is going to sound bad but i had no other choice as i kept going back and forth for ages even after dd2 was born thought i could never find anyone else but i did i was still with him and im sure i would have left eventually but how much more pain would i have endured and the kids aswell i met my dh on a dating site i wasnt really looking just want to get away he was great he took me in and the kids we have been togther now for 5 yrs married for 1 kids love him lots they call him dad and respect him more than their real dad. the father or dd1 and dd2 is real pain in my backside never calls visuts when he can be bothered didnt even call dd1 or dd2 for their bdays this year no card no thing his reason was he didnt get anything for fathers day. getting rid of him was the best thing i ever did getting him out of dd1 and dd2s life will be harded but well worth it.

the courts will never take a child from its mother unless they have extream reasons like abuse neglect etc which all have to be proven by docs.

good luck and i really hope u get help and get somewhere safer for u and your child

[MsMummy]

I would stay away from him, keep detailed diary notes, copies of emails, text messages (anything that evidences his violent and abusive behaviour).

I would urgently see a family lawyer about getting orders in place, so at best he only has supervised contact.

[mum2bubba]

Leave and never look back as someone else said. Don't let him see/have your kids. He sounds very dangerous. Also he may be accusing you of seeing other men because perhaps he is seeing someone himself.

[tinkerbell87]

Please be careful, you can apply for a restraining order and get a homeswest bond loan and you can also get centre link get away if you can x

[henmeister]

Take you and your DS and walk away, never look back, don't worry about your possessions your leaving behind, they are material things.

run!!!!