Telling Other Colleagues

[mel6280]

I feel really guilty, but I just told my work colleague that I am pregnant before telling my manager.

I see her as more as a friend than a work mate and she is the only other female I work with in an office full of men.

The reason I told her is because I've been feeling a bit stressed about some issues at work and was talking to her about these and felt I needed to be honest about being pregnant because I've been pretty emotional, moody and irritable over the past few weeks. I also have no family/friends in the area and just wanted to tell SOMEONE!

Have a made a big mistake and should I now tell my manager? I am only 8 weeks and wasn't planning to tell him until I was 12 weeks.

I wish I hadn't have said anything now!!!
:ecomcity:

Have I committed a big no-no or should I not worry about it? Will my manager have any right to be angry with me if he ever finds out I told her before telling him?

[vegemite]

I dont think you should feel guilty - it's your business who you tell and when. I think its perfectly reasonable to wait until 12 weeks to inform your boss as from the sound of it that relationship is purely professional, whereas the relationship with your colleague is a friendship too.

If he does get upset, just tell him your doctor advised you to inform someone you work closely with in case of emergency ;)

[bebea]

I told a team member/friend when I was 7 weeks pregnant, I felt I needed some support in the office but wasn't ready to tell my manager. This was also someone I knew I could trust with this information and knew she would look out for me. I finally told my manager when I was 12 weeks, she was over the moon and didn't tell the rest of the office until I was 16 weeks, I hid the MS well.
Where I work I only needed to give my manager 9 weeks notice before going on leave so technically I didn't have to say a word until I was 28 weeks :-p may have become a little obvious!
You've done nothing wrong, just confided in another support person, I'd only tell your manager when you're comfortable doing so or if being pregnant starts to impact your work in any way.
Goodluck!!

[meatpopsicle]

He wouldn't have any right to be annoyed. This woman is your friend - it's completely different to telling your boss or people who you only see as work colleagues.

You don't have to tell anyone else at work you're pregnant until you're good and ready.

[Boobycino]

I told one of my coworkers pretty much the day I found out I was pregnant. If I didn't tell someone I was going to explode or die. I was stressed, confused, excited, terrafied and just had to have someone know.

At the staff meeting 2 months later, I told my boss a few days before, as I was 11 weeks pregnant, and when I announced it to everyone the coworker who knew naturally didn't flinch. Everyone else did flinch (I was 20 and the youngest person at my work) and a moment later the other nursery girl spun around and said to the one I told 'you knew!' and she was hurt and offended I never said anything.

Thing is, th girl I told I KNEW shed give me no funny looks, no comments, no cheeky 'should you be lifting that?' I didn't want anyone to know yet so telling her was safe.

I think the other girl was just upset she missed out on the gossip loop, which is precisely why I didn't tell her.

Far out though, this time, I'll tell EVERYONE 'the moment I'm pregnant.

But I'm trying and waiting and impatient - I cannot wait to be pregnant again so I think I'll just over flow with 'omg I'm pregnant!!!'

[mel6280]

oh thank you thank you thank you!!!

I was feeling so anxious about this. My manager accused me of acting unprofessionally at work today which was totally uncalled for, so I was freaking out that I had been exactly that (unprofessional) by telling my friend at work about the pregnancy. Feel so much better now.

Just also wondering if you have to advise your work place in writing with a doc cert of your pregnancy and when you plan to leave?
I am actually thinking I would like to re-sign, rather than take maternity leave as I am pretty confident I won't be going back. Or am I better off saying, yes I'll have the 12 months unpaid maternity leave and then resigning later? Hmmm, I'm only 8 weeks and thinking about all this already...can u tell I can't wait to get out of there!!!
Are there any rules as to when you an start your maternity leave? Say if I wanted it to start at 28 weeks? Am I entitled to that?

[bebea]

All companies have their own leave policies so you will have to check it out. Obviously if you were going to resign you can do that whenever, but again would have to be within your employers policy.
I got a doctors certificate to say when I was due and that I would need to go on leave on or around that date, I didnt want to finish any earlier than 37 weeks and actually had their support if I wanted to leave earlier. If you wanted to start maternity leave earlier than the policy just get a doc certificate stating that you need to go on mat leave from 28 weeks due to health concerns, it is actually a big strain on your body towards the end! But I sat at a desk and had a very supportive team :) Of course your 12 months of leave would start from week 28, it's not like you're trying to extend your leave beyond 12 months.
Also be aware of taking any paid leave and the obligations to your employee, I get 13 weeks paid leave but have to return to work otherwise pay it back, and have to work for another 12 months otherwise pay it back proportionally. This is fine with me though because I really enjoy working for this company and have great colleagues! I don't know what the rules will be for this government paid maternity leave as my bub will be here before 1st January.

[missie_mack]

For almost all states the only requirement to tell your employer is ten weeks prior to taking parental leave.

I wouldn't feel guilty at all.


I don't know what the rules will be for this government paid maternity leave as my bub will be here before 1st January.

There is no requirements to remain with the employer up until birth or returning to work. The only requirement is having worked the minimum hours in the 10 months prior to birth.