Has anyone lost a full term child?

[craftymumma]

I would love to chat to parents who have lost a full term baby after birth.

I lost my child when she was 3 days old due to a Dr's silly mistake.

Anyway I would love to chat to parents who have suffered similar loss, not necessarily at a Dr's hand but rather a full term healthy baby dyeing of birth complications etc.

[parentingrocks]

:hugs:so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find the right people to speak to on here.

what a horrible thing to experience. I could not imagine walking in your shoes right now.

[craftymumma]

:hugs:so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find the right people to speak to on here.

what a horrible thing to experience. I could not imagine walking in your shoes right now.

Thank you for your :hugs:. She's been gone for 4.5 years ago but it still feels like it was yesterday.

[Kittylou]

Hi craftymumma

I lost my little boy in January this year. He was born at full term and there were no birth complications. As far as we knew, he was completely healthy however he started having trouble breathing about 15 minutes after he was born, his heart rate dropped and he could not be stabilised. The doctors worked on him for about 45 minutes before telling us they couldn't save him.

The coronial investigation into his death is still ongoing and all we know at this stage is that there was an abnormality in his heart that was unable to be picked up prior to the birth and they still haven't determined exactly what it is.

:hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

[craftymumma]

Hi Kittylou first of all :hugs:

Not knowing is the hardest thing.

I see your pregnant again congrats!

I got pregnant with DS3 3 months after we lost DD.

[Kittylou]

Thank you. Yes, DH and I were both desperate to fall pregnant as soon as we could after Hamish died. It just felt so wrong to come home from hospital without our baby.

Not knowing is incredibly difficult. Made worse by the fact that we have been told that some of the possible causes of death they are investigating are genetic so we have no idea if this baby is ok. So, I've spent this pregnancy not only stressing about that but trying to follow up the coroner's office to get them to speed up their investigation - with very little success. At this stage, we'll be going into the birth just hoping for the best. We already have two perfectly healthy children, though, so we have a very good chance of everything being fine.

What I have found the worst is that we didn't even get enough time with our little boy to create any memories. I never got to breastfeed him. My husband never even got to hold him while he was alive. We never even got a glimpse of his personality to imagine the boy and man he might have become. It makes it so hard to talk about him and remember him because all we have are bad memories.

Do you want to share what happened to your DD? I completely understand if you don't.

[craftymumma]

Here's our story.

I woke up at about 7 with some pain and a wet patch under me on the bed, i thought this is it, we are going to have our little girl with us soon, i called my mum to tell her. I decided to get some more sleep as the contractions were very far apart and not much of the fluid had come yet.
I woke up a few hours later to more contractions, they were now coming hard and fast, DP called the hosp to let them know they said to wait as long as possible and relax. We waited a while and the contractions started coming about 5 mins apart and the pain was getting so intense i couldn't stand it any longer. We were on our way to the hospital.

We were excited and nervous, the 45 min trip to the hosp went quickly, we went to the birthing suits and had to wait as there was no vacant rooms. Meanwhile i was standing around in pain. They finally got a suite for me and checked me out.

I was only a few cm's dilated, they connected me up to all the machines and watched me as i contracted. The pain was alot....i begged for an epi but instead was put on some gas which did give me relief. For the next 5 hours i was pretty much off my face, i was still contracting and dilating.

Finally the pain reared its ugly head through the haze of the gas so finally i got my epi. (As you can imaging things are still a little fuzzy so the next few hours were pretty much lost.

Finally it was about 6am the next morning and it was time to push. I was so frightened but it was now or never. I started, pushed my little heart out, but nothing seemed to be happening, everyone kept saying she was coming, but i knew there was something wrong.

They set up for delivery, that alone freaked me out, the dr came in and started to do her thing, i cont pushing, this is when things turned sour.

They were trying to turn her was she was coming down face up, they tried manually a few time but it didn't work, then the forceps came out. Now i didn't like them to begin with, but hey they were the professionals and i was laying there trying to give birth.
They tried them, i was pulled down the bed with a great amount of force, and noting was happening. Just then it was as though they didn't know what they were doing. It was decided and emergency c section was needed, i threw up from the fear of what was happening. Everyone was going crazy, ciaos! I was taken up to the OR and was soon under a full General.
The next thing i knew i was in recovery, and as soon as i woke it asked about her, i was told she was ok and was down in the SCU (special care unit) she was having a little trouble breathing but ok. I was so happy that i had done it and i finally had my little girl.
On the way to the ward they took me to see her in the SCU. When i got there i saw Mick, he was the happiest and proudest daddy i had ever seen, all he kept saying was "she is here and she is ours" he was on one side of her and i was on the other, she was beautiful, perfect, an amazing little person. I lay there and just looked at her, and she stared back at me. That was one of the most magical moments i have ever experienced in my life.
I was taken to my room to rest and i could see her soon as she had a oxygen tent on her just to help her breathing along.

I was happy, i was a mum and we were a family. DP went home for some rest and as did my mum who had been with us for 24hrs.
Within 20 mins of them leaving the midwife came in, she said that Lily wasn't doing to well and that i should get mick back. I didn't want to disturb them but she insisted. At that point my life as i knew it was over.

Drs were coming in to me telling me they didn't know what was wrong but she wasn't doing well, and that they had to restart her heart, give her meds to keep her heart going and she wasn't really responding.

It was decided that she was to go by NETS to the Royal Childrens hospt in melbourne. They were going to try and get me in to see her before she left. I went in still unable to walk, and saw a flurry of Dr's, nurses around her bed, she wasn't the same baby i had left an hr earlier, she was quite and still and didn't seem to have much life, she now had a endotraceal tube and breathing machine. They put her in the crib and we said our good byes.

I was taken later to the RCH, and was taken to a small room and told that things were not great and her heart had stopped a few times, but they got her back. All i wanted to do was see her.

Finally i got what i wanted. There she was, lying there still and alone, i felt so useless and guilty.

The next 3 days were a blurr, i spent as much time as i could with her as i could, Drs kept talking to us and i knew things were bad.
There was nothing they could do for her, she was bleeding internally and her body was failing. We had to make the hardest decision i have ever and god willing ever have to make again. We decided to turn the machines that were keeping her here with us off.

I couldn't believe i was doing it, but she was not going to get better i could see that, she wasn't our little girl any more, she had gone only a sick little body was left.

Our little angel took her last breath in my arms, i felt her last heart beat on my chest. For the first time in 9 months i was alone.

She lived on this earth for 3 days.

[ICanDream]

I just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am for your loss, I can't imagine what you have been through.

[Mrs Awesome]

:hugs:I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I am sure it must be difficult for you to talk about it.:hugs::hugs:

[mrse]

:hugs: Gem

[threeofthem]

:hugs:I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must have gone through. The ife of your bub has left me with tears running down my face.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[KyD]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: You are such a brave lady to be able to share your story like that . You had me abolutely bawling as i read along. All i could think of as i read was about the similarities to my DD's birth. We had a great medical team and she was fine, despite me being under a GA. Your story was a version of what has run through my mind countelss times (especially in the beginning) of what could of so easily have been my families reality. You are so strong. Thank you for sharing.

[raisingthree]

I am so so so dreadfully sorry.:hugs:

[Kittylou]

Craftymumma, how absolutely devastating. There are just no words.

I shared my story in this section not long after Hamish died. I haven't yet been able to go back and read it as I just find it too hard. If you want to read it, it's here:

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=322277

[MumTotzlj]

i'm so sorry for your loss

i lost my little boy Zac when he was 12 days old, due to a medical mistake but he had a heart condition which we knew about before he was born

[MissMel]

Ladies, so sorry for your pain and heartbreak.

I lost my first little boy when he was three days old. His story is here if you would like to read it. http://www.babysites.com/sites/jasper/default.asp?page=myjournal&seq=1

Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him.

Wishes and hugs to everyone