View Full Version : Need a little advice...
:wave: Hi everyone... Well DH has just left for another 8 days and I just wanted to ask some questions of you guys...
I have been kind of feeling out of sorts a bit and I'm trying to work out if its the job or having bub... (both happened very close to eachother...)
Well, when DH is away I get myself into a good routine with Rhianna and enjoy it quite a bit having the time to myself. However I find myself in tears most nights once bub is asleep, and I always assume its because I'm lonely and missing him... But the problem is I don't really miss him that much... God that sounds terrible... So I don't know what it is thats making me upset...
I feel frustrated usually when he gets home because it throws off my routine and I get upset with him for the smallest things, sometimes I wish he was back at work! The things I get upset at are completely irrational... I still love him so much but sometimes when he's here I feel like an empty shell of the person I used to be (emotionally)... I don't even think that makes sense... but its EXACTY how I feel- empty.
I talked to him about this last night and told him how I'm feeling and he was hurt but agrees- its just NOT ME. I am like a different person, and I really don't want to be. During the day I'm fine, very bubbly! Infact anyone who's reading this that knows me will probably be completely shocked!
It just seems to come on at night time... I have no ill feelings towards my daughter at all... only my husband- and he's wonderful... hubby AND daddy...
I feel like such a horrible person writing this down :gloomy:
So my question is, did anyone else go through this sort of thing whilst getting used to this lifestyle? Or am I going crazy... :crying:
If you have read this far thank you so much...
Any advice would be much appreciated :)
Well, when DH is away I get myself into a good routine with Rhianna and enjoy it quite a bit having the time to myself.
I am like a different person, and I really don't want to be. During the day I'm fine, very bubbly! Infact anyone who's reading this that knows me will probably be completely shocked!
I have no ill feelings towards my daughter at all... only my husband- and he's wonderful... hubby AND daddy...
firstly :hugs: Even though my DH doesnt work away he does do 11hr days i feel the exact same way as you. I resent having DH home on weekends as i cant do what i normally do. Of a day when its just MJ & I i'm so happy, laughing, playing etc but as soon as I hear the car i get tense & frustrated because i know i cant just do what i do without having to explain why etc.
Honestly i dont think you are alone, i could have written your post myself.
:hugs: Thank you so much for replying RB... I'm sorry you feel the same but its good to know I'm not alone...
Thanx again xox :hugs:
WOW! I thought only I felt like this.
Thank you for writing your post as I had wanted to ask the same thing but didn't know how to write it. I love my kids and partner, they are my life. I think that might be the problem though. I'm not having a life for myself and live through the others. I am the one that is always there for everyone as support and pour all my energy into the things they are doing. I really need to make interests for myself but don't allow the time. My situation is probably different as I have the older kids and a little bub but my hubby works away most of the year and has done so for a few years (on and off).
I could write for ages about this. maybe we should message each other or exchange msn details. Let me know.
Keep your chin up you are doing a great job. big hugs to you.:hugs:
:hugs: Thank you guys for your replies.
Wondermum- your reply brought me to tears (in a good way lol)... You have no idea how much I needed to hear that... Thank you sooooo much :hugs:
Di-78- :hugs: I'm sorry you feel the same, but would definately love to chat with you!! Just PM me your details :yes:
I went to my GP today and talked it over with her, she doesn't think its PND just yet. She gave me some tips on how to deal with the work lifestyle and said if I don't feel like its getting any easier, to come back and see her.
Thanx again for your help... You guys are so great xox
I feel frustrated usually when he gets home because it throws off my routine and I get upset with him for the smallest things, sometimes I wish he was back at work! The things I get upset at are completely irrational... I still love him so much but sometimes when he's here I feel like an empty shell of the person I used to be (emotionally)... I don't even think that makes sense... but its EXACTY how I feel- empty
oh hun :hugs: to you!
I too feel this way sometimes especially the part about them throwing off the routine. I go nuts at him over the smallest of things like not hanging the washcloth up the right way over the sink etc etc.
You have nothing to feel bad about hun, its not an easy thing for us girls to go through being up and down like a yoyo all the time....
Its hard to pinpoint if its one issue or another or a combination of alot of things, having a little baby and your DH start a new job away are pretty stressful things to deal with all at once, im sure you are doing a wonderful job!
Glad you went to see the doctor though sweetie, i hope that helps you:yes:
Im also here to talk anytime, feel free to add me to your MSN as well, my DF works 2 weeks on, 1 week off. Things can get pretty lonely round here too once all the boys are in bed.
Take care billy, i hope your feeling like your old self soon :D
I just saw this area in bh - never realised it was here before :o
Now I'm wondering if some of you ladies (you Billy!) aren't in my head.......it's a bit freaky, cause that's exactly how I feel! I crave him being here........but then when he is, it often drives me nuts and I get SO frustrated and cranky and continually pick....pick....pick at him..............even though I KNOW he is trying to do his best and most of the things are silly to worry about anyway:thumbsdown:
It's just SO hard being "single mum" making all your decisions for everyone by youreself one week.............then having him here 24/7 the next and having to hand over control of things and have the whole "family routine" thrown into a different relm.
With my 2 little ones too - the older one not so bad cause she knows daddy really well now (and had "normal" life for the first 6 months!!) but the 6 month old seems to get really thrown off balance with him coming and going. He tries SO hard with her, but really - I'd prefer he just leave her alone for the first 24 hrs when he's back, give her time to adjust to him, get used to him again before him trying to settle her etc............cause it just doesnt' work.........but - how to tell a father not to want to be with his child (sort of - ykwim?)
Anyway - Billy - you aren't alone - I think we ALL feel like this when we have partners who come and go..................I never thought it would be as hard as it is emotionally.....physically I expected (being tired cause I have to do everything by myself) but the whole emotional side for ME....??? nuh - didn't think would be such a big issue. :gloomy:
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