How do I get my toddler to stay in his own bed at night?

[Audrey]

Hi,

My 2yo keeps waking through the night and wants to sleep in our bed. I usually let him stay for awhile(usually until he goes back to sleep or until I get fed up with him kicking and wriggling) and then move him back to his bed. If I try to put him straight back he cries and has a tantrum. However at 30 weeks pregnant, I am getting very tired of this routine. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to stay in his own bed throughout the night?

Thanks
Audrey

[Rell]

The only thing I can suggest is to keep putting him back to his bed straight away. It will probebly take a few weeks of tantrums before he starts to get the message. The thing to remember is once you start you must not give in, if you do all the hard work gets undone and he will expect to be let in the next night.
A friend had this problem she got it sorted long before her bub was due but unfortunatly right at the end of her pregnancy she gave in and so had a newborn to get up to and a 3yr old to battle with each night.
If you can get your partner to get up and put him back to bed this way you get your well deserved rest.

Good luck

[JanetF]

Sounds like hard work for you! I believe that a met need goes away, IYKWIM. So if my child was crying when I moved him out of my bed, I'd take it as a signal that for whatever reasons, he needed to be close. My son has coslept from birth so I think it's lovely that your son is letting you know that he needs a little reassurance right now. It's unlikely to last forever, especially if his needs are met and he stays, yk? I've seen some littlies somehow know that their one on one time with mummy is about to be limited and just seek a little extra reassurance. Lap it up, I say! In a few short years he'll be too busy for lots of cuddles so get 'em while you can ;) If it's hard because of your pregnancy perhaps dh could spend a few nights in the two year old's bed so there's more room.

[draught]

I had a similar problem with my nearly two year old at a similar point in my pregnancy and although the theory of co-sleeping is great, and people will tell you that you aren't meeting your child's needs if you don't let them sleep with you, in our family co-sleeing meant that I was awake most of the night, and stumbling sleep deprived through the day while pregnant and working and looking after a toddler.

I was dreading having to get up to a baby during the night and re-settle while also re-settling an active toddler, so we bit the bullet and put her back in her own bed - firmly and calmly and consistently. We play classical music in her room when she is going to sleep so I would put that on and say okay time for sleep. It didn't take weeks - it took about two nights for her to get the message. She is not shut out of our room - 5am every morning when the next door neighbour leaves for work, she appears in our bed and goes back to sleep (sometimes) for a while - so we still get the cuddling - just not all night!