EdensMama
26-10-2010, 22:35
Hello Everyone,
I miscarried 2 weeks ago yesterday. I have lurking here and feel like I just need to talk to someone who understands perfectly, like all of you.
I was 13 weeks along and we went for our NT scan which showed the baby had a exomphalos major (major organs outside the abdomen) and that it had passed away the day prior. Because of the size of the baby my OB felt it was safer to be induced, however, after 4 days of induction drugs nothing was happening so on day 5 I had a D&C.
Physically I feel well, and I also felt very well cared for by medical staff, family and friends, but I also feel a little alone as well because I don't know anyone else going through the same thing.
At the moment I feel really sad. Like I know in my head probably the best thing happened, but at the moment, I'm sad in my heart.
Its hard when you feel this sense of loss and grief, but have nothing to show for it. Its so weird. So in testament to my angel baby - here is my letter to my precious darling:
Letter to my Unborn Child
J Morgan 2010
Dearest Darling of my heart
I feel you close, yet we’re so far apart
I can hear your laugh- just a breath away
You giggle and coo, I so wish you’d stayed
You lace your fingers like ribbon through mine
Your face, it lights up! Just like the sunshine.
You dance and you jump and you run and you play
I would give anything to hold you, just for one day
Oh the fun we would have had- just you and me
The painting, the tickling, and playing ‘horsey’.
You smoosh my face between your sweet hands
I drop to my knees - I can no longer stand
You say ‘Mummy I love you! I really love you!’
And with all of my heart darling I love you too
‘But, look here Mummy, can’t you see that I’m whole!’
Yes my dear heart, but you now have my soul
‘But Mummy here in heaven I can run and run!
I can jump, I can walk, I can really have fun!’
My precious possum, I do understand
You may not have walked had you stayed in this land
But do you think for a moment you couldn’t yet stay?
Just for a second, an hour, a day?
Come here, let me hug you and before you go
Tell you I love you- just so you know.
Seeing you leave is much harder than I’d thought,
But please don’t be worried, or sad or be fraught
You take a piece of me with you wherever you are
Even though heaven seems awfully far
I can’t wait to see you one clear and fine day
You’ll open your arms for a hug long delayed
We’ll laugh and we’ll dance, we’ll sing and we’ll play
Then together forever we can finally stay.
Thanks for listening ladies... xx
I miscarried 2 weeks ago yesterday. I have lurking here and feel like I just need to talk to someone who understands perfectly, like all of you.
I was 13 weeks along and we went for our NT scan which showed the baby had a exomphalos major (major organs outside the abdomen) and that it had passed away the day prior. Because of the size of the baby my OB felt it was safer to be induced, however, after 4 days of induction drugs nothing was happening so on day 5 I had a D&C.
Physically I feel well, and I also felt very well cared for by medical staff, family and friends, but I also feel a little alone as well because I don't know anyone else going through the same thing.
At the moment I feel really sad. Like I know in my head probably the best thing happened, but at the moment, I'm sad in my heart.
Its hard when you feel this sense of loss and grief, but have nothing to show for it. Its so weird. So in testament to my angel baby - here is my letter to my precious darling:
Letter to my Unborn Child
J Morgan 2010
Dearest Darling of my heart
I feel you close, yet we’re so far apart
I can hear your laugh- just a breath away
You giggle and coo, I so wish you’d stayed
You lace your fingers like ribbon through mine
Your face, it lights up! Just like the sunshine.
You dance and you jump and you run and you play
I would give anything to hold you, just for one day
Oh the fun we would have had- just you and me
The painting, the tickling, and playing ‘horsey’.
You smoosh my face between your sweet hands
I drop to my knees - I can no longer stand
You say ‘Mummy I love you! I really love you!’
And with all of my heart darling I love you too
‘But, look here Mummy, can’t you see that I’m whole!’
Yes my dear heart, but you now have my soul
‘But Mummy here in heaven I can run and run!
I can jump, I can walk, I can really have fun!’
My precious possum, I do understand
You may not have walked had you stayed in this land
But do you think for a moment you couldn’t yet stay?
Just for a second, an hour, a day?
Come here, let me hug you and before you go
Tell you I love you- just so you know.
Seeing you leave is much harder than I’d thought,
But please don’t be worried, or sad or be fraught
You take a piece of me with you wherever you are
Even though heaven seems awfully far
I can’t wait to see you one clear and fine day
You’ll open your arms for a hug long delayed
We’ll laugh and we’ll dance, we’ll sing and we’ll play
Then together forever we can finally stay.
Thanks for listening ladies... xx