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View Full Version : Tick-Tock (I can hear it ticking!)



SassyMummy
28-08-2006, 22:10
I'm only 20, so my biological isn't ticking just yet...but ANOTHER type of clock is ticking away...and each and every day it's getting louder!

What I mean is, there's YEARS ahead of me in which I can concieve, so it's not like it's a race against time because soon I'm going to begin menopause or anything... But there IS a race against time regarding my next birth.

Why you ask? Because I had a c-section first time round, and I want a VBAC next time. I've read and read and read, and have so far discovered that the optimal time to have a VBAC birth is between 1-5 years after your c-section. Specifically, 1-2 years is even better. Since learning of this, the clock has begun to tick...and I'm slowly going insane.

The thing is, DP doesn't want another baby. EVER. So he has decided since having DD (which annoys me...she's such a GOOD baby...and it's not like he has to do anything for her anyway...it's even ME that is doing most of hte financial stuff for her...!). Still, I'm working on that...and i know that I can change his mind.

Ideally, if I could, I would wait a while...but I REALLY WANT my VBAC birth, and since thinking about it (with the clock ticking away loudly in my ear), I'd like for DD to have a sibling close-ish in age...and also have them close together so I can go back to work sooner (sounds bad written down, but I want to have them close, so once they're in school, I can do my thing...or at least do SOMETHING other than mothering some of the time...and I imagine it would be more difficult to be a SAHM for 6-7 years than it would be for 10 or more years...).

Financially, we aren't the best we could be...but I think that, while DD is young, I've got all the baby stuff. I can't keep it in storage or anything until the next baby (would end up costing us more than the items themselves) if I have to wait several years for that baby...and IMO it's important to be a SAHM when your babies are young (if you can of course). Since I'm already doing it, I might as well shorten my non-working period by having 2 babies at the same time...rather than prolonging my unemployed period. The sooner they're off to school, the sooner I can work and help out financially.

I think this is a bit more of a vent than anything else...I just really want to have another baby...and SOON...because I'm going insane.

Sorry if it doesn't really make sense (ranting/raving gibberish really...lol). And, thanks for reading.

If anyone has any advice as to how to make a DP cave in and agree (lol) then it'd be much appreciated!

RedPanda
28-08-2006, 22:21
Ah Sassy - I think many women are in your position! It seems like a lot of DPs are happy to finish with the babymaking before their partners (I think I'll have the same problem!). In terms of being ready for another, perhaps you could reason with him that there is really no such thing as being ready for a baby! Obviously there are some considerations (finances etc), but on the whole, I don't reckon there is a "right time".
Good luck! :fingerscrossed:
Maybe tell him that Chanel is so cute it would just be wrong for you two not to produce another!!:D

mmm7
28-08-2006, 22:32
Sorry Sassy, I don't have any advice about changing DP's mind. I am very lucky that DH wants #2 as badly as I do. But I do know what you mean about a ticking clock, I am a bit older than and hear it daily.
Best of luck :hugs:

Pixie
29-08-2006, 05:06
I understand very much why you want a VBAC I do to, I REALY want one people think I am mad!
I understand why you want them close, in fact I pretty much understand your whole post!

The one thing I will offer in the way of advice is remember nothing is set in stone, discuss why your DP doesn't want another one explain/stress why you do. I'd say never ever try and change a man's mind in regards to children, it will most likely push him the other way, you can discuss things without coming across as "my way" IYKWIM

Good luck it will happen if it's meant to :D:hugs: