A Tear That Will Hang In My Heart Forever

[Magnus]

I'll never forget seeing those 2 little blue lines appear just as I'll never forget seeing my beautiful angel on that ultrasound screen - i scoured it furiously for a heartbeat - but I knew in my heart my baby had become an angel well before the doctors told me. At 2 days shy of 9 weeks I lost my baby who had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at almost 6 weeks. I didn't feel my heart being ripped out immediately - that god awful pain came a few days later when I realised my baby had become my world already and I hadn't realised it. It's been 2 months since that day and there are more smiles than tears now but I know that my baby will be a tear that hangs in my heart forever. I only stumbled upon this site this afternoon and after reading through some of the recent threads for the first time I feel like I'm not alone - I am one of many sisters with heavy hearts hoping to one day have an angel that makes it into my arms alive and well. May the tear in all our hearts make room for a precious smile sooner rather than later.
Love, Hugs and Baby Dust
Magnus x

[cmd'smum]

Magnus....so sorry for your loss :hugs: :hugs:

I m/c just over 3 months ago...and you're right...... more smiles than tears...but you never forget....sometimes it just hits me out of the blue....and I just want to sit and cry!:crying: I was just over 3 months pg....... Drs don't know why it happened, but we were told it was a boy!

You are definitely not alone. I'm glad you found this site.........I found it the same way and for the same reason you did. The girls on here are fantastic and are always there to chat to if you feel the need.

I hope your tears become less and less and smiles more and more :yes:

Fingerscrossed your baby angel sends their little brother or sister that they're gaurding, to you very soon!!

Loads and loads of baby dust to you!

xo

[Magnus]

cmd'smum, thankyou for your message :) i am amazed how wonderful the girls are on here!!! my df works away for 4 wks at a time only coming home for 1 week so its hard TTC but we are going to try again on our honeymoon at the end of september so :fingerscrossed: that baby dust works. I am really scared though that the same thing will happen again - its scary that even once you pass that so called magic 3 month mark theres still no guarantees (and i guess you know that better than anyone) and its even harder to accept when no one can tell you why it happened! i'm trying to be as positive and healthy (both mind and body) as i can but i honestly feel like i will be walking on eggshells once i'm pg again - it really is bitter sweet hey. Take care of yourself and keep in touch :hugs:
Hopefully we'll both have something to :smiliedance: about soon!

[Foxy]

Hugs to you Magnus. :hugs: I am glad you have found Bubhub, you will get some lovely support here.

[Cheekychops]

:hugs: Here's a smile for you when you need one :) I'm sorry to hear about your loss

[Mum&bubs]

That nearly made me cry reading your post :( but i totally agree with you more smiles then tears now. I had a m/c at the start of the year & havent forgotten, i guess its one of those things you never forget. Heres a big hug for you :hugs: and I hope you get a little baby in your arms soon!