TTC early because of easy bub

[pdogsmum]

I have been thinking a lot about when to TTC again. Now, my DD is only 4 months old BUT she is an incredibly good baby & this has had me thinking that maybe I could start TTC early next year. I would like a smallish age gap anyway, and I'll be 35 next year too. DD took about 6 months to conceive. I'm also finding myself increasingly clucky as I have a few friends who are pg atm.

Am I crazy to think that just because she is such a good bub, my next will be too? And/or that she will stay that way and be an easy toddler? Anyone been in the same situation?

[Thermolicious]

Yep your crazy for thinking that :hugs: you can never bet on the next bub being the same. Listen to your heart and remember the only children you regret having are the ones you don't.

[Maximum22]

My Boys are 14 months apart, and i totally love it! My first boy was a difficult bub and second baby super easy, unfort its the luck of the draw weather they are easy or not :yes:
The hardest thing i found about the whole situation was being pregnant with a VERY active toddler...
you got to do whats right for your little family, and im looking forward to watching my boys grow up together! already Monkey man gives teddy bear cuddles and kisses and tries to play with him - its just so cute! Makes me want to have another one :highfive:

[Thermolicious]

My Boys are 14 months apart, and i totally love it! My first boy was a difficult bub and second baby super easy, unfort its the luck of the draw weather they are easy or not :yes:
The hardest thing i found about the whole situation was being pregnant with a VERY active toddler...
you got to do whats right for your little family, and im looking forward to watching my boys grow up together! already Monkey man gives teddy bear cuddles and kisses and tries to play with him - its just so cute! Makes me want to have another one :highfive:
I'm the same, my first was difficult and my second was easy, it's not always been easy but the laughs and joys far outweigh the tears! My boys are 14mths apart (how old are yours now?) I really love watching them play together, they are nearly 2 and just 3 :D

[chicken and eggs mum]

My first was a horror!!! LOL - I wasnt sleeping so we decided to try again and wholia, utd first month!! So I will have 14 months when this one is born!!!!!!!

I agree that the only you know what is right, listen to your heart and if it feels right, then so be it....!!!!

[cindye]

My first baby was a dream - and I wanted to TTC ASAP after she was born. I got AF back when she was 7.5 months old and started TTC but didn't conceive DD2 until she was 11 months old.
I have a 19.5 month gap, and my first is still a little angel - she is just the most delightful child ever!

DD2 however... 10 months old today and has really only started sleeping / eating solids in last few weeks, has had terrible reflux and has generally been a huge challenge (not that I love her any less!). The two girls are starting to really interact and it is just gorgeous to watch, so despite the rough start, I wouldn't wish it any different.

We're actually going to start TTC#3 next month. My cycles are almost regular again, so I'm hoping it doesn't take too long, since I'm already 36. I keep joking to DH that we need to get pregnant quickly so we can squeeze in a 4th before I hit the big 4-0 :laughing:

[NonnyMouse]

Having a "good" baby means absolutely nothing. They can and do change regularly from good sleepers to poor sleepers and back again depending on where they're up to in their development.

I fell preg when DS was 6 months old and the downsides for me are:

Running around after an early walking toddler while suffering morning sickness is awful!

The exhaustion in my first two trimesters was incredible! (This may have also been due to my age and the fact that I was breastfeeding still). Having a young toddler in the house (too young to be unsupervised) meant I couldn't always nap when I needed to.

The pregnancy nipple sensitivity made breastfeeding excruciating for a while and DS was too young to wean and too young to reduce the number of feeds to help with the pain. We pushed through and it did get better and now I'm tandem feeding.

Toddler + new baby = me having to constantly protect one from the other. We can't leave DD in her rocker on the floor, or having tummy time as DS will want to climb onto her. Feeding her has to be done in a separate room as again, he will just climb onto us both and I've wrenched all the muscles in my arms and back trying to fend him off with one arm while I'm holding her, to stop her from getting hurt. As he gets older this won't be such an issue - it's because he's still too young to "get" the concept of babies needing gentle touch.

Going out with both children is difficult as my toddler is a bit too young to reason with when it comes to hand holding while walking, so unless I wear DD and strap DS into the pram I can't go out. (Didn't want to upgrade to a double pram when DS was walking so easily, as we would only have used the double part for a few months). We do have the hitchhiker attachment which is great, but if he runs off I can't leave DD in the pram to run after him, so I've also had to get a safety harness for him.

I also now have a new baby that sleeps perfectly all night and a toddler who, since DD was born, has taken to waking up all through the night for reassurance and cuddles.

One of the benefits is that they both fit the same nappies, since DS is a skinny boy and DD has thunderthighs! LOL

So there's a few factors for you tpo think about. If you want to pick my brain about it further, feel free to PM.

:-)

[danni3]

I have 13 moinths between my two, my first being a very easy, happy, smiley baby. My second not so much but we got him into a routine much earlier which kind of outweighed his 'not so easy-ness'...

I personally loved having the close age gap, the m/s was a pain but DD was so tiny she didn't need much more than sleep, boob, change at that time. When Ds was born DD (13months) ignored him easily for the first 4-6 months :o we never had her 'jealous' of him though and she has never gone to hurt him or anything like that.

DD from 2-3 and DS from 1-2 was probably the hardest work, were hubby would come home I would be frazzled and over it but at some point that shifted and I now have a 5yo and a 4yo, both very independant and not really wanting my attention so much anymore.

Next year DD is in prep, DS will be in kindy and in may we will have this next bub, I am more worried about adjusting back to babies after the break than I ever was with #2 on the way as we were very much in baby mode already.

Anyways, I am rambling a bit now, it's very much a personal choice which way you go. For us it worked well but it's not for everyone :)

[Maximum22]

I'm the same, my first was difficult and my second was easy, it's not always been easy but the laughs and joys far outweigh the tears! My boys are 14mths apart (how old are yours now?) I really love watching them play together, they are nearly 2 and just 3 :D


ohh mine are only 4 months and 18 months, good to see that life is still good a year and a half on :D... i keep thinking this is going to get harder, and some days are tough but then there is always lots and lots of fun and giggles

[BigRedV]

Just because your first is "easy" doesn't guarantee the next one will be.

My first baby was so "good" that my Df is shocked at how much "normal" babies cry (ie our second born:laughing:) as our son was so much more difficult than our first baby.

Seriously, if he was our first baby, we probably wouldn't have had any more. He is 3 months now and so much more settled but the first 3 months were tough.

[JJZK]

Hey pdogsmum!

DH and I were ready for the next bub the second Z was born! I had to wait 6 weeks for my cycle to start but we are well and truly back on the TTC road now.

Our decision has nothing to do with Z being such a good baby, because I know there are no guarantees.

The fact is, Z took almost 2 years of TTC and I am turning 33 next week, so we don't have time to waste. And if number 2 comes to us easier than Z did then we were both cool with that. I know it will be hard work but I have so much love and patience in my heart, I need to share it around! :hugs:

You will know when the decision just feels right and then you go for it. Trust your heart.

[danni3]

Oh I forgot to add, hubby and I discussed TTC our second whilst we were still in the hospy with our first. We didn't know what kind of bub she was going to be at that stage :) It was something we knew we wanted to do IYKWIM.

[mmy2b]

My first was super super easy so we decided to start trying again when he was 8 months...well we fell the first month so there is a 17 month almost to the day age gap between my two and I LOVE it!

The second lil man is definately not as easy as the first (read: doesnt sleep and had his first sleep through last week at 11 months) but is still a happy lil thing. The boys are starting to really get a long and play together!

I love the small age gap even though it was totally exhausting at the start, I think it makes it easier that babies dont really know what a baby is :) Ie DS1 didnt know what DS2 was, and I think is only now really starting to notice that he is a realy person!

So yeah I wouldnt change it for anything, I love love love our small age gap.

[Calais]

Hmm. Well my 2 certainly weren't 'easy' babies. My DD didnt sleep thru the night until she was 8 months old, my nearly 14 month old still wakes up atleast twice. But the newborn to 12 months stage - SO EASY compared to the tantrums of a 2 yo (and ive heard 3 yo tantrums are even worse). They only get harder as they get older.
Dont let that stop you tho. It doesnt matter if you have #2 in 9 months time or in 5 years time. It will still be tough on you - but its 100% worth it at the end of the day.
Im expecting #3!! 15 months between 1 and 2 and there will be about 20 months between 2 and 3. Yep, planned. Hell, we might even start TTC again when this bub is 6 months old. Who knows!?!
We will see how we go.

If its what you both want, I say go for it!

[Radio]

Ooh my two boys are 14 months apart too! So far (and the second one is only three and a half months old) it is lovely and fun. DS1 is only starting to appreciate his brother now that he smiles at him but he can be a little bit rough in his love.

I would agree that it was sometimes tough being pregnant and looking after a little one - I weaned DS1 earlier then I probably would have otherwise. I just figured that my body couldn't support me, a growing baby and a big boy (he was about 8 months old at the time) so he got weaned. I was just sooooooooo tired!

My problem now is my raging cluckiness again! I so want to be pregnant already. In fact, AF appeared again on the weekend and I felt a bit devastated cause I was secretly hoping I would already be pregnant again..... Perhaps I am a little bit crazy though!

[Two Little Loves]

My first was an 'easy' baby (even though she didn't properly STTN until she was 13 months, she's always been a very easy going child). I fell pregnant unexpectedly when she was 10 months old so we have a 19 month age gap. My second daughter however, MUCH more work! She's very very clingy and needy, not at all like her sister was. I'm lucky that my 2yo is so content otherwise I would be losing the plot by now LOL. I wouldn't have it any other way though. The way I look at it is that a second child is going to add a whole new set of challenges no matter when you have them.

[zombiekitty]

Mine are 15 months apart and while it will all be worth it it's darn hard work.
Both of my kids are easy but the eldest is a typical toddler :laughing:
Anyway, if you have good support from your family and husband then go for it but if not I'd read nonny's post and rethink :laughing:

[Opinionated]

I'd do it. Personally I don't think that any age is necessarily easier than any other. I have had 3 in nappies, it's no big deal. You just get very efficient at doing things. Having them close isn't like adding a whole extra child in. You bath them at the same time (I just dressed and put bub in a rocker next to the bath while the elder one played in the water, then did the next child), you feed them at similar times, they nap at similar times. You find ways of managing, what ever you have.

[zombiekitty]

I'd do it. Personally I don't think that any age is necessarily easier than any other. I have had 3 in nappies, it's no big deal. You just get very efficient at doing things. Having them close isn't like adding a whole extra child in. You bath them at the same time (I just dressed and put bub in a rocker next to the bath while the elder one played in the water, then did the next child), you feed them at similar times, they nap at similar times. You find ways of managing, what ever you have.

But everyone is different and we all cope differently.
I had PND when my second one was born and despite living with my family I REALLY struggled- BADLY.
I don't have a bath (so that isn't always easy) and it's hard getting around amongst many other obstacles.
My nan had 5 under 5 at the age of 21 and was quite wonderful by all accounts but that doesn't mean everyone would be- me included! :laughing:

[cja]

ohh mine are only 4 months and 18 months, good to see that life is still good a year and a half on :D... i keep thinking this is going to get harder, and some days are tough but then there is always lots and lots of fun and giggles


Hi....mine are 14mth apart....and we are a bit further down the track again.....DS is nearly 4 and DD will be 3 in a couple of months. Loving the age gap now more than ever!


DS was an easy baby, and he became a challenging toddler about the time DD arrived and of course she was a difficult baby! But I still wouldn't change the 14mth age gap.

[shayle]

i found out last week im 4-5 weeks preg didnt know at all and wasnt ttc but wasnt stopping it from happening i have a 11 month old girl who WAS a wonderful baby slept through the night from 6 weeks, now she is so hard so clingy andd wont sleep thouth any more she was become a fussy eater now, i suffered really bad with morning sickness first time was bed ridden for 6 months coldnt move have never been so ill in all my life there will be a 19month gap between bub1 and bub2 am a bit worried as to how im going to cope with morning sickness and a toddler and the fact that i have got glandular fever all at the same time i am pooped all the time but cant nap when i want with a hyper toddler does anyone have any ideas for me? sorry if im going on a bit.

[Cas79]

Hi pdogsmum!! Remember me??!

I'm kinda in similar position. DD is 5 months now and I have been thinking about #2 on and off since she was born. Although I wouldnt say she was/is an easy baby! Like others have posted, all babies are different so who knows what #2 will be like for either of us.

i have read a lot on this topic, as well as talking to people i know with different age gaps. Recommendations seemed to be to have less than a 2 year age gap or greater than 3 years. Apparently, 2 years is meant to be toughest! Really seemed to be about weighing up whether you want a harder time for a short period but then get the baby stage over with or have things not as hard but have to go back to the baby stage once you have moved on from it. Personally, I hated being pregnant and newborn baby stage was HARD, I kinda just want to have another kid quickly so I can move on from it all! In saying that, every day DD gets easier and I already am thinking i dont want to return to baby stage! Honestly, I wonder how anyone copes with multiple children!!

Whatever you decide, good luck with it! perhaps I will see you in TTC threads again soon!!!

[krisma]

hi , my hubby and i decided to have our babies very close my son is 11 weeks and i am 6 weeks pregnant i figured itll be easier during (pregnancy) since i was serverly sick with my first son 24/7 sickness i couldnt even get my self somthing to eat or even have a shower i didnt even have the energy so i figured if im pregnant now if i am sick again like i was with my first i could cope better since my little boy eats and sleeps and amuses him self lol . but we are very happy to be having our second baby in july they will be 11 months apart :D

[Pulp Fiction]

DS was a really easy baby too. So much so that when he was a couple of months old I thought 'Wow...I could have another one of these right now!' Lol.

As it happened I got pregnant again when DS was around 9 months old, (we weren't actively trying but we weren't NOT trying either) so I have about an 18.5 month age gap between my two and so far I have been very fortunate because DD is a very easy baby too. Not QUITE as easy DS was, but almost.

The only downside is as Anonnymouse said...Its impossible to put DD down anywhere without DS wanting to jump or climb all over her.

Also, they both have an uncanny knack to want something at EXACTLY the same time, as in DD will wake up to be fed at exactly the same moment DD needs his nappy changed or his sippy cup filled or something.

But all in all I'm glad we decided to have our two LOs when we did.

Although having said that, having two is still a LOT harder than having one and I'm not planning on getting pregnant again for a very looong time.