It still hurts so much :-(

[cazzie07]

It has been 6 months since my Tia went to heaven.... and I still think about her and get upset at least every hour.
I miss her so much.... im still so angry that this happened. I still cant believe it happened. I have dreams where I go to the hospital and find her, then discover that the hospital had been keeping her being alive a secret.
I find it hard to even say her name. And I have regrets... I feel as though I should have fought harder for her... I should have got on my hands and knees and begged the drs to operate on her.
I still sometimes dont believe this has happened. And I want Logan to have his sister.
For those of you who didnt follow my story most of it is in this thread:
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=309987.

I keep thinking about the last 2 days we had with her- When we took her with us knowing she would die to spend quality time together... it was just us.... and we just loved her the whole time.. I wish it was like that forever.

I love you baby girl.

[onkybear]

:hugs::hugs: Thinking of you. I followed your heartbreaking story. I am sure little Tia knows just how much her mummy and daddy and brother love her and I am sure she also knows you did everything you could to keep her alive. The quality time you had with her for the last few days you will treasure forever. :hugs::hugs:

:angel: RIP Tia

[Pinkzy]

I just read your thread and I have tears running down my cheeks. I am so, so very sorry for your loss :hugs: What a beautiful little angel Tia is, I can only imagine the pure joy of meeting her and the pure heartbreak you must of felt when she left this world. You sound incredibly brave and strong and like a wonderful mother.

I am so, so sorry :hugs:

[Roopee]

I'm so so so sorry this happened to you.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[TurnedBatty]

:hugs: Noone could blame you at all for missing your little girl. I van only imagine just how much love you poured into her in those few days.

[katybobady]

I dont even know what to write....

I'm sorry that this world is so unfair.

The only way i can makes sense of why god would take away a soul so young was becase she was sent to be an angel to watch over your family.:angel:

Tia, please watch over your little brother & loving family, they miss you very much.

xxx

[Myztiks#1Fan]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[ICanDream]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, she was a beautiful baby.

My heart and thoughts are with you as you continue to grieve :hugs:

[quitecontrary]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:
You are in my thoughts x

[JabberJaw]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Have you spoken to anyone from SIDS or SANDS (http://www.sands.org.au/)
They are fantastic and can help with the grieving process.

[MummaFug]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I can't even imagine what you are going through, you are one VERY VERY strong woman.

Thinking of you and sending you all the :bee: in the world.

[cazzie07]

Thanks ladies.
I haven't spoken to anyone about it or contacted sands or sids. I find it really hard to talk about her out loud. I have to work myself up just to tell dp I miss her.

[JabberJaw]

Thanks ladies.
I haven't spoken to anyone about it or contacted sands or sids. I find it really hard to talk about her out loud. I have to work myself up just to tell dp I miss her.

:hugs: I was the same when i lost my bub, wouldn't even go to corner shop as i know the people and i feared having to mention it. Same with taking kids to daycare, as i didn't want to face anyone. But talking, i have since found out, helps. Its just that first step of actually doing it that is tough. Sands is really fantastic.

[moozle]

:crying::hugs: Can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

[justcallmemum]

Hi
I could not possibly not post after reading your thread regarding your DD Tia. I spent 4 hours reading from start to finish with tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing this personal journey with us.
My nephew,Zac was a heartbaby and tragically lost his fight at 7 months of age. This touched me deeply as I was sharing a house with my Brother and SIL at the time and he was only a month younger then my oldest DS. The saddest memory of my life is watching my brother carry his baby sons tiny white coffin to the grave site. :crying: It is something I never hope to witness again. Over time we noticed that when ever we were talking about Zac, one of my SIL wind chimes would ring. My SIL took this as a sign that Zac was still there in spirit with them and it provided her with a great deal of comfort in the early years. This was just over 15 years ago, and while my SIL says there will always be an ache in her heart for her lost son, the raw burning pain subsides over time (even though she never thought it would).
Whether the windchime was a coincidence or not, it provided comfort at a very trying time. I hope in time, you may find your special sign that Tia is still with you in spirit. In the meantime, grieve as only a mother can grieve and know that we all send you our :bee:
RIP Tia and Zac :angel: