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View Full Version : GGRRRRRR - CSA payments



Gribel
28-08-2006, 09:37
Ggrrrrrrr - I need a vent...

DS Dad is supposed to pay $300 a fortnight to me (due to rather huge debt while parentage was tested, cause he thought that i was sleeping all over town - man i'm exhausted:laughing: ) and he was a good boy and made regular payments. But then, about 7 weeks ago, paymernts have stopped. So here is me calling CSA at least twice a week to figure out what the hell is going on and when i can see a cash flow again. CSA can't do much but call him to arrange payments, and after some time they can use enforcement (taking payments out of his salary packet)...so after this time runs up (last friday) , he gracefully makes a payment of $100 - yes ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS ( woohoo in 7 weeks - this is not even covering the costs of nappies) - and today I am on the phone to CSA - again and they say that he was supposed a couple hundred $ a week (!!) and he didn't even pay the arranged amount last week (DER). So all they can do is call him - again - and again it will take time before they can do somethin legally. :banghead:
Now I wont call him, otherwise it could get nasty, besides, I dont want him to know that I am relying on his money to keep us over water, and it should be CSA Job to do so.
Anyway, I'm a single mum (obviously) hoping that I would have been able to stay at home with DS until at least the new year, but this is not managable. Thankfully i have my mum helping me out, but still. :gloomy:
So later today I have a interview (my 2nd for the job) it's part-time, but still goes over 5 days a couple of hours every day. Not the best solution - at all - but i wanted to go for a job that I can stay with for a couple of years (hopefully) and that was the only one that sparked my interest......

Maybe he stopped payments, cause I called his parents to tell them that they have a grandson - DS is now 17 months, they had no clue. His Mum (DS Nanna) came already by twice and absolutely adores DS, and DS Dad parents are pretty ****ed off with him for hiding DS from them. DS Grandpa even invited me to Alice Springs for a holiday in October - DS Dad doesn't even know :laughing:

Sorry, needed this vent....

MumofMadd
28-08-2006, 09:48
:hugs: to you and i hope things get better. Good luck with your interview:fingerscrossed:

mythreelittlemonkeys
28-08-2006, 10:25
big :hugs: hope the interview goes well and that you start seeing some payments from your ex...question...why and how did he hide your DS from his parents...that is so awful...

dannii
28-08-2006, 10:30
oh i totally know how you feel.. :hugs:

talking about maintenance always gets me so cranky!! my ex has just been exempt of paying me child support because he has had 3 more kids to someone else!! he has barely paid me anything for our 2 kids in the time we have been seperated (6 years) and just when he starts to pay maintenance, they tell him he doesnt have to !!!
arghh makes me mad :mad:

good luck with trying to recover the money.. he should help you out!!

loopi1
29-08-2006, 15:32
HI B, :hugs:

I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru this, it happened to me as well so I know what you are going thru.
My DS father has never held touched or even seen his son and he also refused payments and took me to court to get DNA tests done. We did and oh he was the father (most women do know) I gave him 2mths to tell his parents by this stage DS was 4mths old and he started paying when he was 9mths. I went straight to CSA when my son was born so he had to back pay me the 9mths hence he owes me quite a bit because he only pays the min. CSA takes money out of his pay before he gets it so I am always going to get something.
CSA should be doing this for you I don't see what the hold up is.
Oh and he never told his parents about our DS so I did and even though they are more or less taking their sons side his mum still sends cards and occassionaly (special days like Xmas) a pressie and I send them updated photos of DS when I get the chance. I'm hoping for Jnr to meet them at xmas when I go home for xmas.

Dannii: I thought it didn't matter how many kids he's got they should all be assessed individually, it's not anyones specially the kids fault that the man produces alot of kids. I would speak to CSA again as your kids shouldn't be missing out just because there are older previous kids. My DS father also has another child but my son doesn't get penalised.

munchkin05
29-08-2006, 22:53
oh i totally know how you feel.. :hugs:

talking about maintenance always gets me so cranky!! my ex has just been exempt of paying me child support because he has had 3 more kids to someone else!! he has barely paid me anything for our 2 kids in the time we have been seperated (6 years) and just when he starts to pay maintenance, they tell him he doesnt have to !!!
arghh makes me mad :mad:

good luck with trying to recover the money.. he should help you out!!

im ex number 3 to my ex lol and he has 1 child to each and he has to pay all of us
we get 11 % of his wages each according to csa

so if i was you i would be getting on the phone and ranting and raving untill i got some money



but good luck:fingerscrossed: and since splitting with bens dad ive relised you have to make them pay no matter what promises they make

ashleerose
29-08-2006, 23:09
Dannii,

My ex has four kids to three different ladies.

Im the one in the middle who was stupid enough to marry him and have two kids.

I have posted a couple of posts about my ex and his carryons etc.

I still receive childsupport (although not much as he is on the dole and pays the minimum).

I have heard that changes will be taking place shortly where it will not matter how many kids you had with your ex you will get a flat weekly rate of 6.00 per week (if on the dole) ie so if i have two kids and his first ex and last ex have one to him we will all receive the same amount of six dollars per week.

At the moment i receive a little more then they do (not much though).

If i were you id be on the phone to CSA and having this sorted out asap.

Gribel
31-08-2006, 10:18
Well, didn't get the job, and as awfulas it sounds, I'm glad i didn't, since it was part time but spread over 5 days. :thumbsdown: So wasn't that desperate to get it lol!
I'm sure another opportunity will come up.

Surprise surprise, I got another $200. Woohoo
My guess is that he's sh**** himself, since he knows that it can go to court and I doubt that he would want his new employer to find out that he's not reliable should CSA use enforcement on his pay.

Yes, he never told his parents about DS, when they called me back ( I left a msg initially) they thought that DS was only a few days/weeks old, but what a shocker when they realized the he's already 17 months. Needless to say that his parents are pretty dissapointed in him for not telling them. His mum naturally defends him a bit, but is father is totally on my side (not that I want them to take sides, still nice to know though). And the fact that his mum came over twice already to see her grandson without even telling him says all. So they defianetly want a relationship with us and took me on as their "daughter" if you know what I mean :D

I did tell his dad that he stopped payments, so don't know if that had somehing to do with the $200 he recently paid in?

KarniF00l
31-08-2006, 10:22
Sorry to hear you didnt get the job.. maybe it wasn't ment to be :)

You're doing better than me in the csa payments, i'm lucky to get even 20 per month for 3 children :mad:

~EmsMum~
31-08-2006, 10:25
Sorry to hear you didnt get the job.. maybe it wasn't ment to be :)

You're doing better than me in the csa payments, i'm lucky to get even 20 per month for 3 children :mad:

:eek: thats terrible

Gribel
31-08-2006, 10:39
KarniF00l :hugs: what a disgrace from the dad!
I guess all we can do is hold together:D

Chanelc
01-09-2006, 17:47
I hope you work it out...
Glad to hear you have his family supporting you emotionally - that is nice to hear