Only the Lonely

[Seekrit]

So.. Cobey's just shy of 6 weeks old, no decisions should be made about how many more kids we're going to have etc.

However, We've always said we'll have 2 kids, without outlook to 3.. since Cobey's arrived on the scene Chris has decided that that's it - no more kids.. ever.
It's not like he's a tough bub to deal with either. Sleeps like a dream, settles well, doesn't always need holding etc.

Anyway, Chris has decided that he wants to provide all (read, spoil) for Cobey, and thinks that with 2 kids you can't spoil one. Not only with presents but with love, time etc.
Quite frankly, I'm happy with one but wouldn't mind another somewhere along the line (4-5 years later)
And I know 4-5 years is long enough for Chris to change his mind.

ANYHOW.. after an argument.. or discussion in the car, he wanted me to ask on here for the Pros and Cons of an only child. :D

Thanks :)

[suemp]

we were adamant that after having ds that was it!!! both me and dp would swear blue in the face we'd have no more. but now as you can see im pregnant with ds2 and it was planned. i think what it took for us was seeing his friends who had siblings interact with each other where as jake gets bored at home and cant play by himself very often so he either annoys us to play or sulks.

pros having 1
money, one on one time, you give up less of your time, no fighting, only one child to argue to get to bed

pros of having 2
sibling to play with, another baby to raise and love, cant say too much more as we havent experienced it yet

good luck with your decision and just remember it could change

[FourAngelKisses]

I honestly can't think of any pros of only one, only cons......

Loneliness
Spoilt...expecting to get given whatever they want
Not knowing how to share or deal with other kids


Is that his real reason for not wanting more or is there an underlying reason??

[Foxy]

This is definitely not a reason to have more than one, but, my Aunty only had one and that child died :crying: . She always says that she wished she'd had more than one, not as a "replacement", but as somewhere for all her love to go. :gloomy:

[Bron]

Tough question Nikki.

I think that having siblings teaches you a lot about sharing and compromising at an early age, which is a handy life skill for later.

When I think about the people I know who don't have any siblings, some of them have run into issues when they are adults when it comes to sharing things or not getting their way. I know someone who was an only child who seems lovely and kind, but if he doesn't get his way, then he gets really sulky and childish. He is 60. As a ten year old I found that laughable, and as a 31 year old I find it frankly embarrassing. People I know who have brothers or sisters don't seem to run into these problems as adults.

Of course, that is a generalisation and I'm sure there are plenty of people who were an only child who are perfectly functioning adults, but learning to share and compromise as a child is great.

[rynosmum]

Hey Seek,

Tell Chris I know where he works and I'll come and pay him a visit if he's not careful!:o

My hubby was the same - no more kids, just one, one is good.

Then Ry started saying 'Daddy' and asking to go to the playground to play on the swings and kicking a soccer ball around the house and cuddling Daddy before bedtime every night. Daddy started planning taking his boy fishing and building things together and riding trailbikes.

He tells me we need to have a girl so I will have someone to shop with whilst he and Ry are away camping :laughing: but secretly I know he has just found an unconditional love and gorgeous innocence of a child. Boy or girl, he wouldn't mind a bit. I asked him this morning what he would think if we got pregnant now (we're not even trying by the way) and he said 'GOOD!' with a big smile on his face.

It's amazing how his point of view has changed....;)

[annsam]

Thinking into the future........ what about when Cobey grows up and decides to move interstate or overseas? Then its just you two again, no family around for birthdays, Xmas, easter etc. Thats a pretty big motivator for me as I like family at family times.

[Seekrit]

Is that his real reason for not wanting more or is there an underlying reason??

No underlying reason. He doesn't think he could evenly share his love.

We have the benefit of his cousin's being close in age and we're a close family so he won't be brought up completely isolated from other kids - if we were to go towards the one-child route.

Foxy - on the flipside I told Chris that I'd like another because if there's one person I can turn to and say "Hey, remember when Mum used to..." it's my big sister.. However he doesn't seem to think that "Just in case we die and he needs someone to reminise with.." is a good idea. :p

[SamanthaJane]

Don't worry, he'll change his mind :devil6: :laughing:

i can't think right now, but i will post later once my brain starts functioning properly :sleeping:

[FourAngelKisses]

Tell him that families with 6 or 7 kids all get loved equally and evenly. ;) I'm sure he will change his mind once your son starts being able to play etc.

[Nickster]

Hi Nikki - by the way, your little Cobey looks so adorable -

I think a lot depends upon the type of parenting you do and the nature of your child. Just because a child is an "only" doesn't necessarily mean they are destined to have a bad character as an adult. Likewise, just because a child has siblings doesn't necessarily mean they are going to be close throughout their lives, or learn superior social skills. There are just so many variables.

You just have to do what is right for you and your family situation - I think we all try to do the best we can as parents whether we have one or more.

Just remember it's early days yet - after the shock of having a newborn wears off, your DH may very well change his mind - after all, so many of us go back for seconds!;)

[Foxy]

Foxy - on the flipside I told Chris that I'd like another because if there's one person I can turn to and say "Hey, remember when Mum used to..." it's my big sister.. However he doesn't seem to think that "Just in case we die and he needs someone to reminise with.." is a good idea. :p

I totally understand where he is coming from! I did think carefully before posting because it is a horrible thing to contemplate, it is just something that I have never been able to get out of my mind. As you said in your original post, 4-5 years is a long time, he may feel differently then. We are currently TTC #2 and sometimes I do wonder how I could love anyone as much as DS, but every mother with more than one says you just "do". :)

[Funkychicken]

Oh, Seekrit, it is so early into parenthood for you both! Making this kind of decision is much easier further down the track.
The love I felt for our firstborn was so intense I couldn't have imagined EVER feeling this way with another baby or having to share my love with another.
Let some time slide by-ask Chris if you can both put the decision aside for at least a year and then discuss it again. You never know how (and neither does he!) you are going to feel in a year or two. Soak up your little boy's love now and wallow in it. Worry about more babies later! :D

[CrazyBeautiful]

I honestly can't think of any pros of only one, only cons......

Loneliness
Spoilt...expecting to get given whatever they want
Not knowing how to share or deal with other kids


Is that his real reason for not wanting more or is there an underlying reason??
I'm sure there are many people who have or are only children are shaking their heads. That's a bit judgemental of only children. I myself am an only child (due to my brother passing away when we were both young) and I certainly was no more spoiled than any of my friends or cousins. Share, I'm one of the most sharing and giving people you could ever meet. Enough of the stereotypes!!!:cool: You will know what's right for your family Seekrit. Good luck with your decision.:thumbsup:

[FourAngelKisses]

Sorry, they are just the things I think of when the words "only child" get put in front of me. I have known quite a few only children who are just like it.

[blueeyes]

We are in the same boat as you Nikki. I would like two at the most and DP would be very happy to stop with the babe (pre babe being born)

However, there is noone quite like a brother or a sister in this world. The babe is now 7 months on and I have questioned DP about another and his reply was 'not yet'. Which is not a definate yes but not a definate no!!!

Chris may follow this, given time he may change his mind, nothing is set in stone with men as we know. There are pros and cons with have a single child family much the same as having multiple children families. Uncaring, non-sharing, spoilt children occur as a result of parenting rather than the number of children in the family.

It comes down to you two, what you value when it comes to your family and sticking with it. Dont feel like you have to have more than one - it might be just you, Chris and Cobey or it can be +1!

[Blessed Mum]

Hi Seekrit, i will be really honest, I felt exactly the same as what you have said your DH/DP feels, they were my exact reasons. I now have two & DD was a surprise(a very good one too I might add :D ) & I am now kicking myself sometimes thinking I should not have such a huge gap between them. Try not to worry too much yet & just see how you both feel a little while down the track.

Best of luck :)

[Rainbowbrite]

We are going through the same discussions at the moment. But i honestly think its due to public pressure to have more than one.

We only ever wanted one bub & we are very happy with MJ. We want to be able to give her a great life, & dont think it will be possible if we have more than one. We can barely survive as it is, & adding another child on DH's wage, we dont think we would be able to survive. Yes, we want to be able to spoil MJ, so what!?!?

To be honest, i find it hard sharing myself between DH & MJ, & dont think that i could share myself with another. MJ knows all about sharing so to say that an only child cant share is ridiculous. What about sharing with mum & dad, cousins, friends etc?

MJ gets together with her friends atleast once a week. We are also going to homeschool her :eek: oh my, how will she ever learn to communicate :rolleyes:

It really annoys me that people have such a closed minded opinion of only children. I know many kids from big families that are little brats, & only children that are angels. Generalising is a bad idea :shame:

Afterthought - i have 3 siblings but felt like an only child my whole life as my brother is 8 yrs older than me & my sisters are 12 & 14yrs older. And you know what, i loved it. I was far from spoilt, shared to much (gave most of my stuff away), never had problems getting on with people or making friends etc.

[Bron]

RB - no one is saying that every child without siblings is selfish and can't share. I think we are just saying that it is harder work to encourage sharing and compromise in an only child. I'm sure that an awful lot of people get it right, I'm sure there are heaps of people without siblings who are caring and able to share, probably because of some terrific parenting.

No one is questioning or criticising your choices. Nikki asked for the pros and cons, and that is what we are offering.

Please realise that nothing in my post was intended to offend anyone who has chosen to have only one child, or anyone who was themselves an only child. I was offering my thoughts, based on observations of friends and family.

[cmd'smum]

Seekrit....with a son that cute, Chris won't be able to help but have another one when the time is right! :yes:


I understand about his concern that he may not be able to love, etc each child equally, but I think this is what a few parents experience when they have just had their first baby. When DD was born, I always used to say to my mum and DH, "I don't know how I'm going to love our other child as much as chloe? :confused: " My mum would just laugh and say "Trust me you will."

My sister was a "pleasant surprise", my parents only ever wanted one child, but I'm so thankful they had my sis, I don't know what I would've done without her....she is truly my best friend in every sense of the word.......yea we have had our ups and downs, all siblings do. The girls are right....I learnt sooooo much in relation to sharing/caring for another person.

It is still early, and am sure you will change your mind...you both sound like very loving/doting parents and would'nt be surprised if you end up having 3!!!!!!!!!:eek: :D

[Rainbowbrite]

RB - no one is saying that every child without siblings is selfish and can't share.

No one is questioning or criticising your choices. Nikki asked for the pros and cons, and that is what we are offering.

Please realise that nothing in my post was intended to offend anyone who has chosen to have only one child, or anyone who was themselves an only child. I was offering my thoughts, based on observations of friends and family.

No offense taken to your post :hugs: People do generalise about only children as a rule. I was just giving my opinion is all :yes:

I'll admit i probably over reacted :o but I get sick of the comments.

Sorry Seekrit :hugs: i'll go away now.

[Seekrit]

:hugs: Thank you for your help guys!
RB - I can see where you'd get frustrated. A few times already when I get asked the question "when's the next one" (ALREADY?!!?!!) and I say "Not sure if there will be one.." I get told that I can't do that to my poor child.

The "Only child" is generalised, much like the "middle child", the "oldest child" and the "youngest child".. I can tell you, I am the 'baby' of a 3-child family.. and I was spoilt rotten (still am) and I'm sure lots of people put the "only child" label onto me :o

And yeah, early days :) And with a kid as cute as Cobes who WOULDN'T want another one (perhaps one to dress in the pink clothes that reside under his cot...)

[SassyMummy]

I've never thought about having "only one" (well, I have...but not as a serious consideration)...but I DID want a big gap in between...about 10 years. If that was the case, then my 2 children would probably not really LIVE as brother and sister (or sister and sister...I already have 1 girl)...they'd live as two only children (kinda).

One thing that has made me change my mind is the fact that my brother and I can share all sorts of things. Sure, he irritated the life out of me...but I think it was great that I had the opportunity to BE annoyed by him. I look back on it as an invaluable learning curve for myself.

When we were little kids, we moved around a lot (Dad in the RAAF). Because there we 2 of us (and we were close in age...18 months difference), we could stick together and feel a bit more "secure" about everything. There'd never be an instance where I was "alone" because he was usually nearby. It was a great comfort for me (I was shy...he was very social).

I also love that he's taught me so much about males in general. I know you can't really "choose" to have a boy and girl, and this is kinda off-topic, but I learnt how to deal with boys because HE was one. Even though he's younger, he still looked after me too (and I looked after him...).

I found my brother, while a nuissance, was a great source of learning for me... about males, about sharing, about friendship...about a lot of things. Whenever Mum and Dad were fighting (before they divorced) we could unite and stick together. It was a great feeling.

On the flip side, having 1 is easier (no fighting, only 1 birthing experience/pregnancy)...it's cheaper...and once that ONE child has moved out of your home, you can do whatever you want (rather than having a few kids still left at home to look after).

[shed]

well, as someone who adamantly only wanted ONE CHILD with no arguments and wouldn't be told she'd change her mind - and for the exact same reasons as Chris...to someone who has decided that she wants another one after all....I should be the perfect person to be able to tell you what changed MY mind so you could use that information to help change HIS mind.

But unfortunately the reason I want another one is...

"I just do".

So I am actually not much help. sorry. :o

I wouldn't worry about it too much. He'll change his mind.

[Rainbowbrite]

Oh good, glad you understand Seekrit :hugs:

Just felt i should add something. It is also very early days for us & we may end up wanting another in the future. If it happens by accident or not, the new bubwould not be unwanted by any means.

[cobysmummy]

my dp has said the same thing... no more ever!! and our Coby is 16 months and our saying is if it happens it happens!!

whilst in labour he said to me and his mum im never having sex again and of course that didnt happen!!

becoming a dad is a life changing event in a mans life... just like us becoming a mother... and im sure as time goes on he will realise that another one maybe what your family needs...

i am the eldest of 4 children... my youngest brother is 6 and he is spoilt rotten... the youngest always is in my opinion... my sister was 8 when he was born and uop until his birth she was the one who was spoilt!!

good luck with your family decsions!!

[cmd'smum]

Shed ...LOVE your reply......:D

[TwoBlue]

my mum was an only child and has alwasy made me and my brothers promise that (providing we are able) we would have more than one child... she said her entire childhood she was always jelouse of her friends with brothers and sisters...

also on the topic of not being able to "share the love"

when i was pregnant with Ethan i was always concerned that i wouldnt have enough love for Samuel and the next baby, and also that the way i loved Samuel could never be repeated with another baby...(you cant imagine ever having THAT MUCH love for more than one!! iykwim?)
anyway in reality its actually really easy to love both boys so much that it hurts!!

There is ALWAYS enough love in a parents heart for each child no matter how many there are :yes:

[~EmsMum~]

I honestly can't think of any pros of only one, only cons......

Loneliness
Spoilt...expecting to get given whatever they want
Not knowing how to share or deal with other kids


Is that his real reason for not wanting more or is there an underlying reason??

I was an only child for years :) never expected everything and was social with others

[Percy]

DH said a similar thing to me while i was still pregnant.

He has since changed his mind and is looking forward to a little girl. We arent starting to try for a few years yet though.

Im not an only child, and i never really wanted to be, so i cant really help with the pros. I kind of think they would be a bit lonely. JMO

[rachdent]

Hey Seekrit

Well, I had to reply as I'm an only child and most of the time I longed for a brother or a sister - I wanted someone to play with and was jealous of all those big family gatherings, etc, etc, etc. Saying that, there were times when I'm was glad I was number one and only. Attnetion was never spared and everything my mum did was for me. SHe didn't spoil me but she did ensure I had all the best opportunities I could.

However, we decided on at least two as I wanted my child to experience 'family'- if that makes sense. My hubby is one of three and never considered having an only child, although after Hamish he could see some benefits. He now says two is dfeinately it.

'Having recently had number two and having 22 months between them, I'd say I wish I had a longer gap. I always said I wanted at least three years and now I think I was right. It's not that I don't adore my baby, but I feel I don't have as much time with either of them as I'd like. I think if one child was already in kindy it would be ideal as then both kids would have had the same one-on-one time with mum. Hope that makes sense. But that''s just me. There are oodles of advantages to having them close... which I'm sure will become more apparent as my babe gets older.

Hope this has helped - since breastfeeding again, I reallly don't seem to be able to string much of a sentence together.

[Mariposa]

before we had brianna , Cris and I were in agreeance on having 4 children, hoping that we would get two of each. when i had brianna i was adament that she was going to be the only one (horrid labour etc etc) but 2yrs later we were clucky again, although it took us another couple of yrs to have dd2. i must admit having the 4yrs between them worked out fantastic. then we decided one more and we would be complete. the age dif, between Natalia and Angelina is nealry 3 yrs, i wouldnt want them any closer. yes i have my hands full, and i wouldnt change it for the world.

give it time, cobey will grow too qk, and he'll want another:p

[Roopee]

I ws an only child until i was 12 when my sister was brn and being an only child sucked! I was bored. lonely and spoilt. (not saying all only children are like this but i was). made a decision that i would never inflict this on my kids.
(sorry about the italics-oops.)
Now i am pregnant with our 4th and i love that we will have a large family. My kids are all pretty close in age and are great friends. They look out for each other and are so great to watch them grow up together.

You said your DH doesnt want to "share" the love he has for Cobey but its really not a case of sharing it. You love them all equally and its like when you have a new baby, new love grows and develops. So its not like sharing it, its doubling the love you have to give (or quadripling i my case:p)

Good luck.

[spiritedfamily]

I'm not sure if I can give pros and cons of one child but I can say that the pros of having a larger family is company and atmosphere...the kids always have someone to talk and play with and there is a vibe about the house with diverse personalities in it. This can go both ways depending if someone is having a bad hair day. I have never been keen on the idea of one child and that stems from the fact that even though I came from a big family, there was a 6 year gap between my brother above me....he was too old for me to hang out with...I was too young to play with his toys and he left highschool a year before I entered it...so I have always wanted to make sure my children had company.

[Areca]

I am not an only child and plan on having at least three kids and I can say that when I see DD around other babies and kids (mothers group etc.) she is more excited and happy than any other time. She just loves babies and kids. I think DD would definitely feel like she was missing out if she didn't have a sibling.
My sis and I drove each other nuts when we were growing up but I'm so glad I have a sister. In fact, I always wanted more siblings. I used to be my mum to have another baby.
My neice is 5 and an only child (for now..her p's have just changed their mind and want another in two years, when they have finished studying) and she gets lonely. Her parents play with her and stuff but it's not the same. They keep saying how lucky they are that she is friends with the neighbour's kid cause she has someone to play with.
My best friends mum is an only child and when her mum died (her dad had died a few years before) she told me that she hated being an only child cause she has no family left now. She said she had no one that she was close to that knew exactly what she was going through, cause she was the only person who lost her parents.
I have another friend who hated being an only child. Her mum had another baby when she was 16 and she begged her mum to not let her brother grow up an only child. She has a brother and a sister now but with such big age gaps she still feels like an only child...but she is very happy that her siblings have each other.

I know there are kids that don't have siblings that love it that way but I personally don't know any. I'm not having a go at anyone that is an only child/only wants one child...just saying what I have seen in my life.

A totally selfish reason, but one to consider. There is just my sis and I...my sis is not having kids and she won't change her mind (like so many people say) so if it wasn't for me my parents would never get to know what it's like to have grandchildren. I'm the youngest.

[SnoozesWithCats]

I too was an only child for a long time - my brother was born when I was 11. I vastly prefer having a brother. I was glad to have a brother even during the times I was most p/o'd about being used for free babysitting!

Pros:

Less attention from parents. Yep, that was a "pro" for me - I found all the attention of being the Only One very pressurising - I wsa glad when the pressure was off.

A more social atmosphere at home. I think I would have enjoyed it more if we'd been closer in age, but even though we only had a few years together at home before I took off at 17 there were still fiun things we could do together.

Someone to chat to about family stuff now. He came over (from Scotland) for our Nan's funeral the other week and ended up staying with us for three days and it was FANtastic :smiliedance: - it was really the first time I felt like we were relating to each other as equals, now that he's finished Uni and is all grown up like me :laughing: I was actually amazed at how much we had in common, seeing as how we hardly ever get the chance to see each other - it's almost like we grew up in the same family or something...!:D

Cons:
Well there was the free babysitting thing ... but that's not so much of an issue when they're closer in age


Siblings: I'm for 'em :thumbsup:

[Chub Chub]

OMG Nikki your DH sounds like he was separated at birth from my DH!

My DD is now almost 16 months and HE bought up the idea of having another after months of me moaning about wanting another and loads of lectures from one of my mates who is a only child.

I have never gone back on birth control after DD and he was very aware of the possibility of another (we use other contraceptions that involves him being partly responsible:thumbsup: ). I also think the reason he said he only wanted 1 Bubs as he loves to gee me up.

We have decided three years between our kids to be able to give them individual time and allow them to have the sibling interaction BUT this is what will work for us.

Give him time and make him believe (when the time is right) that the idea of another bubs was his idea! :D

[SweetSerenity]

I think people have to remember also not all parents chose or choose to have an only child.

A girl i used to go to school with was an only child but her parents wanted more but she had something wrong with her ovaries therefor couldnt have anymore.

And also in my situation, although i dont know if i want anymore, i really dont have a choice either! Im seperated from my husband, no reconciliation happening whatsoever so i dont have a say really lol.... And because my son IS an only child, i make sure we socialise with his baby friends, we see one of them at least wekkly, got to playlands etc.... There are ways around raising a spoilt little brat of a child!

I see my friends with siblings and yeah i would love that for peter too, but i also dont think im mentally or physically capable at the moment to raise two children...

Each to their own :D

[littlepickle]

Hi Seekrit

I have had a similar conversation with my DH. We always used to say that 2 was probably an ideal number, although while I was pg, I said that "this was it" and that I didnt want to be pregnant ever again! :D Well of course, now, that has all changed and I am thinking .. hey another would be really good! Pregnancy wasnt SOooo bad and labour was ok .. (its funny how mother nature gives us a kind of selective amnesia) anyway, Dh has now decided that he doesnt think that he wants to have any more as he found the whole giving birth thing too traumatic!!! It wasnt that traumatic - well not that I can remember as I was pretty out of it.. but I am hoping that he will change his mind.
I have 4 brothers so definitely not an only child, and I just love all of the memories that me and my brothers share. I love the fact that I have a great relationship with all of my brothers and I couldnt imagine life without them. I dunno, its like if you havent got siblings, who can you sing stupid songs with in the back of the car ona long drive.. who are you gonna argue with only to make up 5 minues later, who are you gonna remenice about your parents and childhood in general with?

[Seekrit]

Dh has now decided that he doesnt think that he wants to have any more as he found the whole giving birth thing too traumatic!!!

hahahaha I just wanted to say on this one.. Chris has said "Look, you can have more, I'm just not going to be in there."
I ask him if it was too much seeing me in pain.. but no.. no no.. it wasn't traumatic for him I was "too bloody loud" and it was "too frustrating" because apparently I "wouldn't breathe into the gas properly" :laughing:

[shed]

Well maybe if you promise not to be so noisy and breathe into the gas properly he will consider having another?

Really, its not much to ask is it??

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

[Ana Gram]

It all really comes down to each family. Myself, I can only see cons with having more children. Pregnancy was awful ,labour was so shocking I never want to do that again. Because DD can be sickly with her eczema, she does require alot of attention and with another one I couldn't give her that. She isn't lonely, she plays with the cats and with our friends. When she is around other children her age, she pretty much ignores them most of the time. Occasionally she is a brat but she's 2.

[pookiesossige]

Throughout the first half of my pregnancy with DD (which was a surprise) I kept thinking to myself and asking DH how on earth I was going to scrape up enough left-over love from DS to raise our new little girl in the way that she deserved. I really didn't know how I was going to do it. Before falling pregnant again, I was getting used to having just one child- I was loving it! :D
I have complete respect for anyone intending to have only one child, but I think that given time, your DH will see that he does indeed have enough love for more kids if that's what you decide. :)

[icugal]

Nikki,

I am an only child and I hated every minute of it. All I ever wanted was brothers and sisters and someone just to TALK to. My mother was a single parent and had to work several jobs just to keep us a roof over our heads... so I spent most of my childhood alone (at least I had school friends during the day so it wasn't all doom and gloom). I certainly wasn't spoiled like the stereotypical only child.

I'm pregnant now with my first, and unless God has other plans, I will never allow this baby to grow up as only child... I just could not put them through that.

All I've ever wanted is a large family and a large family christmas... and one day.. I'll get it !! :)

Just my perspective...

[spiritedfamily]

I think people have to remember also not all parents chose or choose to have an only child.

A girl i used to go to school with was an only child but her parents wanted more but she had something wrong with her ovaries therefor couldnt have anymore.

And also in my situation, although i dont know if i want anymore, i really dont have a choice either! Im seperated from my husband, no reconciliation happening whatsoever so i dont have a say really lol.... And because my son IS an only child, i make sure we socialise with his baby friends, we see one of them at least wekkly, got to playlands etc.... There are ways around raising a spoilt little brat of a child!
:D

This is true...sometimes its a problem out of their control.
My parents was choice.
and I know plenty of people who end up single parents...but not forever and often go on to have one or two more...

good luck:thumbsup:

[Seekrit]

WOAH! I'm pulling this thread up just to sayyyyyyyyyyyy.......

it only took him 3 more weeks to come around.. ;)

This morning...
He: "Isn't he perfect.. we should make another one to see if that one's even better."
Me: "pfft.. how can we possibly improve on perfection?"
He: "I dunno, maybe have one with a vagina instead."
Me: ":eek: A little sister for Cobey?"
:smiliedance:
On -my- terms it won't be for another 3 or 4 years at least. But :smiliedance:

[TinyStar]

:smiliedance: yay:smiliedance:

have fun TTC Seekrit!

Waiting 3-4 years might be a good idea, things are pretty hectic around here atm.
(but you know I love it):yes:

[Seekrit]

haha Star, I'm SO GLAD for bubhub, reading about the july girls and juggling toddlers and newborns has made me think to stretch it out a few more years ;)