View Full Version : Whether or not to have a Baby Shower
I attended my sister-in-laws baby shower yesterday which was really nice. It was held at a cafe and there were no games, just present opening.
I am in two minds about having a shower of my own. My mum has indicated that she would like to give me one. I would really like to have one to get together with my friends and a few relos before the baby arrives but I don't like the idea that people are expected to bring presents. I wouldn't mind if I didn't receive any presents!!
Do you think when someone has a baby shower that they are doing it only to get presents? Can you politely indicate that " presents are not necessary" although knowing that people will probably bring something anyway........
I am not sure what to do. I just don't want people to think I am having a shower just to get presents.
I have a really great family and they would make it a really great party by organising games and involving everyone.
I'd love to hear some other opinions.
I think if your friends and family know the kind of person you are then they will already know that you wouldn't just be having the baby shower to receive presents. Although the whole point is that you are supposed to be 'showered' in pressies!! maybe you could have a gathering and not call it a baby shower or just put something on the invites telling people just to bring themselves. maybe you could get someone to take charge of a video camera for the day and get all your friends and family to record a special message for your unborn baby to be given to him/her as a 'welcome to this world' gift. no matter what you do i think you will probably find most people wont be able to help themselves - there's just something so damn cute about baby stuff :D
Like you bec I didnt want a B.S coz I figure people will bring pressies after bub is born. But I did have a girls night out with friends from work which was sooo much FUN!!!!
Let your mum throw you a B.S if you want and have fun-who cares what people think, if they want to bring presents let them :)
My dilemna is whether to have a baby shower if no-one offers to either run it or help out with it. All the baby showers I have been to have been organised by a sister or friend of the mum to be. Is it acceptable or OK for mums to organise their own baby shower? I can't decide whether to not have one, or just organise one for myself. I too feel like I don't want to have one just for presents, but I don't want to miss out on the chance to have a celebration just because no-one's offered to throw me a baby shower.
You could write on the invitations something like this:
No need to bring a present
Your presence is enough!!!
You know, something like that but add a few more lines and turn it into a poem or similar.
Not sure, I did not have a B/S with either of mine, but would have loved one.
I threw my own baby shower - it was great! It meant everyone could play the games because I was the one who had the answer sheet :) I had so many games that people had to go before I opened the presents ooops! :rolleyes: I think the present thing is something that people love, they love shopping for babies esp those who have had all their bubs or the friends that aren't ready to have bubs and are experiencing through you. I don't think getting presents is the main reason for a baby shower and I don't think people think it is, it's a celebration about the pregnancy, and a chance to swap birth stories and give advise. Well and getting presents :D
Maybe you could have a Blessingway or Mother Shower? Try this for more info :D
Contains the following q&a
What is a Blessingway?
What happens at a Blessingway?
How is it different from a baby shower?
The Baby Showers I have been too (including one friends gave me) were just basically a friendly get together of women for afternoon tea. We played games and the the mum to be opened some presents. The presents are usually nice little thoughtful and practical things but not over the top or the like. For mine I received some muslin wraps, baby wash products, cotten buds, a plastic bathtub etc..all those little practical things. It was a lovely get together of women to talk babies and share fun games
I must admit that I too would feel uncomfortable having one held for me at a place like a restaurant or cafe where people have to pay for their meals and they bring you a gift too. I have actually had a similar thing suggested to me for our second baby and I feel quite uncomfortable with the idea actually. The restaurant detracts form the relaxed get together of a casual afternoon tea, chat and games. There is the cost of meals to each guest and it is in a limited environment. Plus, for me it is my second baby, and gift wise it is awkard to accept any as we are set up with supplies given that we only had a baby 18 months ago. But it is to be a joint one with another girl who is pregnant, but I would much rather that they do it for her. I would even help host it for her as I would rather we have it in a relaxed environment and people don't have to pay for their meals. Especially as they may bring a gift. Anyone got any suggestions here too? How can I get them thinking away from a restaurant/cafe? It just feels so awkward.
But I like the idea of a Blessingway. I have heard about these a lot lately. I will take a loook at those links posted above too.
When are baby showers usually held? My aunty wants to have one for me and keeps asking me to pick a date but i have no idea when to have it. I am due March 2 2005. Also who do i invite? What sort of things happen at baby showers the only one ive ever been to was a long time ago and it was a linne party come baby shower. I am looking forward to it even though im not really sure whats going to happen. Most of my friends and aunties are asking when its going to be as they are all looking forward to it as well i guess its just a chance for them to get together and fuss over me for a day before bubba actually arrives. I couldnt care less if i got presents or not im looking forward to after the baby shower when i have my bubba in my arms :D
Shannon and Bubba Squirt 21weeks
i had a baby shower a couple of months ago and it was fantastic
mine was thrown by a close friend at my place and it was great!
people want to buy presents for the baby and feel involved....
i dont think anyone ever feels "pressured" to bring a present.
i cant see why you could throw your own party i have heard of it before
and at least that way every thing can be done the way you like it!
we played lots of fun games and ate great food and opened presents
and everyone went ga ga over the presents! :)
i must admit we did get very spoilt but thats just what my friends are like!
I've been to two baby showers and both were great fun! Plus I WANTED to buy a present... how often do women without kids get to buy gorgeous baby stuff? NEVER!
The games were fun and the food was great at both. They were also held at private homes, not cafes, so it was a very relaxed environment and there was no cost for the guests (except the gift they brought with them).
I'm co-hosting my own shower with my mum in December (I'll be about 27 weeks at that stage). I chose to because I love organising parties, weddings, etc. I wanted to make my own special invitations and favours to give to the guests, and Mum and Grandma will cook up a whole lot of finger food treats. There's only 12 guests invited so it will be intimate, but we'll still have some fun games and everyone will get spoilt (not just me) with prizes, food, champagne, keepsake to take home, etc.
Also remember that the gifts are not for you... they're for the baby! :)
Yup, I think that most people actually like buying baby gfts! It kind of opens up a whole new world of shopping for some people lol! Plus, everything is sooo cute, its fun to buy!
I think it's great buying gifts for babies - but I do think it should be done after the baby is born.
I was asked whether I wanted a baby shower with both my pg's - my choice was not too. With my first pg we received plenty of lovely gifts and I know it'll happen again, so why the need to have one?
I like the idea of going out with a group of girlfriends and family for dinner or going away for a long weekend with the girls - with heaps of pampering.
No need to bring a present
Your presence is enough!!!
Thats what we are using for our wedding! Wow we thought we where original when we made that up! :D Then again we thought we where original when we named Kirra. Turns out there are three Kirra's in her day care room. Tee Hee.
Baby Shower. Do it Do it. HAve games, entertain your guests, feed them sandwhiches (sp?)and cake. Then when you do recieve gifts at least you know you made an effort to give them a lovely enjoyable girls lunch get together.
Do it in the backyard on a nice day. Its lots of fun! Very enjoyable day once you get it all organised.
I forgot to mention that the other main reason I'm having a baby shower is because I live a very long way away from my family, so most of them won't be around when the baby is born. At least this way we can celebrate together instead of just getting phone calls or gifts in the post.
I organised my own baby shower but had a couple of friends help out with the games, so I wasn't running around too much... I think I held it about 6 weeks before I was due... It was a great day and I reallu enjoyed catching up with some friends and family that I hadn't seen much during the pregnancy...the presents were a great help...
I was undecided too, but then when one my friends at work found out I wasnt sure if I was going to have a baby shower...she told me that it was decided, and got another couple of my girlfriends together to plan it all. They are throwing the party at my house (so I wont have to travel and its FREE and central), and I had to give them a list of all the girls I want invited.
My friends at work are all quite young, or young at heart....so I'm keeping my outside friends seperate as most of them are much older. I think Steven and i will arrange a BBQ to help us celebrate the upcoming birth of Tiny early next year, and just ask people to bring a plate with salad or desert. I dont expect presents from anyone, and have asked my friends to include that on the invites.
I was a bit unsure about whether I should have a BS, my family doesn't really do the baby shower, kitchen tea kind of thing, partly because we don't like people to feel obligated to buy us something. But my MIL and SIL insisted, coz DH's family does do it, so they're hosting it for me this friday night.
I've been to a couple of baby showers and loved them, and loved being able to buy baby stuff.
Because we have almost everything we need though, when people have asked myself or my family what I want, I've suggested that the greatest gift (besides themselves of course!) is a meal in portions that I can freeze for after bubs comes along.
I've reorganised my freezer of course in anticipation. :D
Good luck, go with the flow and enjoy. It might be last time you get to spoil yourself for awhile!!
I had a bad time with this subject not that long ago.
The fathers aunty wanted to organise one, with a couple of people I didnt even know! She only wanted females (traditional, but a lot of my friends are male!), and she wanted it in her apartment (but my grandmother can't climb stairs!).
So that idea was ruined.
Then my mother offered to organise one, and nothing ever happened. I really wanted one though :(
I was considering having one after the baby was born, because my childless friends didn't believe my instinct it was going to be girl, and wasn't sure what to buy hehe
So thats another thing to comtemplate? Have one after if possible, at least if people buy presents, its for a girl or boy, and they also get to meet the new arrival!
I sadly still haven't had one, but I've lost track of time and christmas is only a couple of weeks away now... where the whole family spoils the kiddies!
And lucky Lillya, her great gran left her off the Kris Kringle, her excuse "Oh, everyone will want to buy such a gorgeous girl presents" :p
I hope I can plan a second and third baby so well!
I say definately have a baby shower! Even if its only a little casual get together!!
I helped my mum plan mine because it was in December (Busiest time of the year) but i had a great time! We had afternoon tea, played games (so much fun!), had prizes for games and I opened presents. No one felt obliged to buy me anything! Some friends even put a little bit in together and bought something small but meaningful!
Its a great day and trust me if u don't have one, you'll wish u did.
Yep, I agree with YoungMumSteph... definitely have a baby shower!
I know I had a ball and all of my friends/relatives really enjoyed celebrating with me. I think most people actually enjoy buying gifts for the baby - who doesn't love shopping for gorgeous little tiny clothes etc? lol. People that think its a 'present grab' probably don't know you very well. Your closest friends will WANT to throw you an awesome party, believe me.
Thats my 2 cents worth! :)
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