Foster care?

[futureherder]

Sorry if this is in the wrong section, please move it mods if it is.

Based on recent news and some threads on BH I have been thinking ALOT about foster care.

I am rather ignorant to what occurs with foster care.

What process do you go through to look after a child who is being fostered out? What reasons are children put in to foster care? For how long are they in care? I didn't realise that there was such short term care.

The story on the news was of a family with 2 younger children who put their eldest autistic son in to care as could no longer physically handle him and feared for the safety of their younger children?

Listening to that families struggle really woke me up to this very often unspoken of topic.

I want to be ignorant no longer on this topic. I really want to know more. If you could shed any light on the topic that would be greatly appreciated.

[mum of 3]

alglicare run seminars on fostering they are screaming for people (were i am anyway ) the length a child is with you depends solely on the surcombstances , some come into care because life at home is not safe for them and no other family can care for them tec there alot of reasons . there is also respite care when you look after a spirited or special needs child every second weekend etc so the family can have a much needed breather .

to be able to bacome a foster carer (in my area) you need to attend a seminar an interview and training then pass all police checks .

[brogeybear]

Subscribing to this thread as its something that I think often about. I know I could only provide permanent care though, giving them back would break my heart I'm sure.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

there is respite care(weekends or a night or so), short term(usually a few weeks) to long term(can be a year or even til child is 18). many kids dont just go to foster care because their home is unsafe, its because some parents are not coping and have a hard time to look after themselves and then throw in a few kids into the mix and you got yourself a parent that cant cope at all. some kids have been abused in many ways, some kids are just 'trouble' as many think.

you can also choose whether when the parents have access to their kids whether they come to your house or what not or if you want to meet them.

there are many many reasons out there as to how you could come about some of these children if you become a carer. you can choose which you want to do in regards to teh respite etc however you might find it doesnt suit so choose to do long term care.

i dont know how you would go about finding out info so best bet would be to call up your local child safety office and i think they would be able to inform you then.

[sam's mum]

contact child safety and go to an information session. they will be able to answer all of your questions.

basically you have a lot of checks done by police and social workers and you get training.

If you get accepted you will be asked what you are willing to do. eg - respite (pretty much just weekends) short term or long term. just boys, just girls, only under 5 yrs, 10 to 14 years, ok with sexualised behaviours, ok with violence, not ok with swearing..... there are a lot of parameters you can set up.

If you do respite it isn't much of a time commitment, but if you are doing the short or long term care there are a lot meetings and things like that to go to. Respite also lets you trial having another kid in the house and seeing how your family copes with it.

[ScrambledPancakes]

I am a foster mummy to 2 brothers ( 2 1/2 and 9 months ) .

It is rewarding , amazing , frustrating , emotional , life changing , devastating , but the best thing you will ever do.

I foster through DOCS and we were originally emergency and short term carers , but it looks like we may have the boys forever ( hopefully :fingerscrossed: ).

Applying is a long process , and involves a lot. They try to prepare you in training for what to expect , but nothing will prepare you until you welcome a beautiful bubba into your home , your life and your heart. These kids can come completly filthy , sick ( MRSA staph , scabies , lice , bronchiolitis ) , covered in bruises , underweight and undernourished ...and you change their worlds just be loving them.

It can be really hard sometimes , but I wouldn't change it for the world.
If it is something you want to do .... go for it - your life will never be the same again :)

[monnie24]

Hi,

my sil is currently going through this process now to foster children. she works as a carer for familys sa which is basically the same as docs (i dont know where you live)

you have screening, police checks etc.

she is single so she was only allowed two children at once i'm pretty sure. except being as picky as she is she only wants a "baby" so she can raise it how she wants which i don't agree with.

you need a stable environment, routine & willing to not give up on these children as they have been through hell and back so many times this is why they have mental issues- anger, depression etc..

my family has adopted a downsyndrome boy and it is the most rewarding thing that has EVER happened to us in my life.

but so many children out there who need your help and would love a loving home. :goodvibes:

Monnie.

[flyawayfree]

Going to watch this thread. I would love to foster one day, buy don't think I could at the moment due to where I live and my full time uni load and jakes needs. Gathering as much info as I can for the future though :-)

[Tatiana28]

We fostered before our baby was born. Had to stop because I was so morning sick. We did respite so had the same kids regularly.
It was great to get to know the kids and see them grow over a year or more.
Got to know some great kids and you do feel like your doing a good thing for them and their parents. All our kids had single parents and needs some time out.
We went to the information evening and then the training, then the home visits and family history etc. There are home safety checks, police and working with children checks.
One thing I loved though was they were totally undiscriminatory about carers. Didn't matter if you were single, a couple or whatever!
Probably would consider permanent care later in our familys life.

[myrainbowfamily86]

GO FOR IT! I am a carer in QLD and we care for 0-5's, short term, long term, respite, emergency we do it all.

Just a bit of info on the posters who mentioned 'permanent' - nothing in foster care is 'permanent'. Some children go on Long Term Guardianship orders, and you may get children who are on this type of order but that doesn't mean YOU can have them forever - which sucks. They can be moved from you to whoever at any time, especially if a random family member pops up or a more 'culturally appropriate' carer turns up etc. So keep in mind ALWAYS that unless you adopt them (which is almost unheard of in foster care), you cannot count on them being with you forever. As heartbreaking as the thought is, it happens quite a lot.

But we need so many more good, loving, safe carers who do it for the children not the money (yes there are some of those out there who take as many kids in as possible and make a thousand or more dollars a week from child safety). So even if you are just thinking about being a carer, go to an info session and find everything out - you never know, there might just be something that you can do, like respite..

:yelclap::thumbsup::yelclap:

[BreithCuidiu]

I'm a short term foster carer of a baby boy. It's hard, hard work. I cannot accept that anyone could possibly do it for "the money". We get $413 a fortnight. I cannot work. I spend most of my time in hospital with my foster child, transporting to and from access visits, almost daily medical and allied health appointments, fielding phone calls and emails to and from our agency and Community Services.

At the end of the day I'm exhausted and cannot cook half the time so order dinner. We go weeks without having a spare hour to do any grocery shopping. I also have to pay for childcare for my children (usually emergency after school care) when I cannot make it home in time from all of the above (outpatients appointments rarely run on time, and the birth family can often be late to contact visits so I get home hours late some days). Contact happens at the agency head office which is 40 minutes away without traffic (so factor in petrol as well).

Fostering costs my family an arm and a leg. The department have still not obtained a health care card for the child so we pay full price for medications (about $100 a week).

In our case, our foster child has very high needs. He's been here for several months now and we love him to pieces. We would love to be his long term carers but he is goin to a family member soon. This experience has shown us that we are not able to do short term care again. We cannot cope knowing that the department refuse to see his needs for what they are and are sending him to what we feel is a less than ideal situation.

I would think carefully if you have children still at home. Similarly if you are in a situation where you require more than one income. You'll also need a thick skin and an ability to fall in and out of love quickly.

It's the best and the worst thing we've ever done.When our little man came he was filthy, bloated, had skin infections, was wheezing with bronchiolitis, made no eye contact and could not hold his head up. He'd been in 4 other foster homes and was still a newborn! Yet we turned his life around and he's come so far. It's so rewarding.

[Josh]

I would like to be a foster carer as well. although it may have to be in quite a few yrs time as i already have 11 kids and care for my 2 autistic sons, the dept might think that I already have my hands full, but I will give it a go in around 5 yrs time, my home would still be a lot better than where they have come from even though it is cramped and noisy.:D

[kar]

There are different rules/systems in each state. Victoria does have a permanent care system which is really quasi adoption. It is comparatively rare though.


GO FOR IT! I am a carer in QLD and we care for 0-5's, short term, long term, respite, emergency we do it all.

Just a bit of info on the posters who mentioned 'permanent' - nothing in foster care is 'permanent'. Some children go on Long Term Guardianship orders, and you may get children who are on this type of order but that doesn't mean YOU can have them forever - which sucks. They can be moved from you to whoever at any time, especially if a random family member pops up or a more 'culturally appropriate' carer turns up etc. So keep in mind ALWAYS that unless you adopt them (which is almost unheard of in foster care), you cannot count on them being with you forever. As heartbreaking as the thought is, it happens quite a lot.

But we need so many more good, loving, safe carers who do it for the children not the money (yes there are some of those out there who take as many kids in as possible and make a thousand or more dollars a week from child safety). So even if you are just thinking about being a carer, go to an info session and find everything out - you never know, there might just be something that you can do, like respite..

:yelclap::thumbsup::yelclap:

[1CrazyMoose]

Another here that will follow this thread as dh and I are in talk of going down the fostering road

[moomechanic]

Wow! I finally sent an email two nights ago about fostering! I am excited to start the process :)

[BreithCuidiu]

thefamilywhofosters.blogspot.com is my blog if anyone wants more info on fostering... :yes:

[lil miss]

My DF and I have been foster carers for the past 18 months. Technically we are kinship carers, as the children we care for are DF's 2 sisters and brother.

Originally, Dept. of Child Safety took the children of their mum for 2 weeks, and asked us if we could take them other wise they would have been split up and sent to another town (most likely bown or townsville) due to the major shortage of carers in the area. This is not the first time the children have been in foster care, but at least they were with family. After the 2 weeks were up, Child Safety informed us that their mum had not fulfilled her requirements in order to have them back and there for they would be placed into care for a period of 18 months. We spoke about it a lot and I didnt think we would manage as we already had a 2 year old of our own. Child safety outlined all the support we would supposedly get (we recieve little to none other than our wonderful case worker at Child safety).

The process to apply was long and tedious. There was form after form to fill out, questions about every single aspect of your life, from how you grew up, medical history, habits, home safety inspections and of course a criminal history check and applying for a blue card. Even though we had a child of our own, and were family to the children we still had to follow the same rules as a regular foster carer. It was hard because their mum only lived across the road and would be over when ever she felt like it (instead of sticking to the contact schedual Child safety had provided). Child safety provided brand new beds and cupboards for the children and at christmas they gave us a tonne of presents donated through the 'adopt a family' program.

Technically, its not Child's saftey's job to deal with the carers needs and support, that is up to organisations such as Pathways etc, but around here they are pretty hopeless so any problem we had I went straight to our Child Safety case worker.

I won't lie, its a heart breaking, frustrating and infuriating thing to do. But knowing the kids finally have some stability in their lives made it worth while.

About 3 weeks ago, we had to have the young 2 children (aged 11 and 9) placed with another carer, as we have recently had our second baby and the stress was taking its toll on my health and our relationship. All 3 were supposed to go, but sadly no-one would step up and take the 13 year old, so she remained with us (which wasnt an issue as she is the best behaved out of the lot of them). I was shocked when our case worker told us that foster carers can pick and choose what child they recieve into their care. She said that very few are willing to take on teens, and that majority of carers prefer ages birth to 10 or 11, but most will only take children up to 5. She also said some carers will only take girls, others will only take boys.

It made me think... with the major shortage of foster carers nationally, and the sadly high number of children that require care, why are carers allowed to be so picky. I believe it should be a 'you get what you are given' type thing, we cant afford to have carers so picky. Any child in care recvieves their own bed, sheets, cupboards etc- what ever is needed at no cost to the carer. And we recieved over $1,300 a fortnight for all 3 children, which is a reimbursement for the cost of having children in your care. It is NOT a form of income and CANNOT be used for personal things- it is for the children, for food, clothes, school fees (but this is usually paid for by the Dept). There are travel allowences available, so for carers who have to travel a certain distance for school, sport etc they get reimbursed for that as well.

I totally agree with whoever said think carefully about foster care if you have your own children. Our 2 year old loved having her uncle and aunties living with her- it was like she had older brother and sisters. We thought she had adjusted well, but after a couple of months, she became very violent at day care, especially with the younger children, and began biting and hitting and became a completely different child. the day care knew our home situation and monitored her behaviour. We realised her behaviour had escalated the longer the children were with us. We tried spending more one on one time with her but made no difference. it wasnt until the children started spending weekends with their mother that our dd's behaviour improved. Then along came her little sister to throw a spanner in the works. Although, she handled it very well, and actually settled down a lot since dd2's birth. It killed me when I realised what we had done to help DF's siblings was so traumatic to our own child. And the single income is a another factor- we have only been on one income for sometime and its only a traineeship wage with fortnightly pay- we were lucky to see $900 a fortnight. Yes, the money from Child Safety helped as it was recieved in our 'off' week, so we were able to top up the pantry and fridge and treat us all to a movie night or desert or take out. But it definitly didnt cover the bills- our electricity alone gone from around $300 to $750, plus we had to move to a larger house which meant more rent.

[BlissedOut]

lil miss - Carers shouldn't be allowed to be choosy?

That suggests that the department is doing them a favour, rather than the other way around.

I refused to have girls over the age of 11 to protect my husband from accusations of sexual abuse (as happened with my BIL and one of the girls in his care).

There are many homes in our area that will gladly take a girl over the age of 11, they usually come with considerably higher 'reimbursements' which I'm sure isn't the reason the carer has them, but makes it easier for the carer to accept them over a 4 year old.


As for foster caring.

My husband and I were high-needs foster carers (behavioural problems, not medical), mainly providing emergency, respite and short term care to a wide variety of children. We ended foster caring just before our son was born.

We didn't want to put him at risk and he is our number one responsibility, I could never forgive myself if he incurred harm from someone we accepted in our home, knowing the risks. We also thought it'd be hard to be fair to those in our care when we had a bigger priority.

My husband is now a group home youth worker, meaning he goes to a house that houses 1-4 teenagers, these teenagers are pretty much unplaceable, partially due to age, mainly due to behavioural issues. He stays there for a few shifts a week (overnight) and provides meals, transport, company and hopefully a bit of guidance and inspiration to these youths.

My FIL is a Zonal Manager in Cairns and mainly deals with group homes. MIL lives here on the Gold Coast and takes on the kids in the 'too hard' basket, she has had a series of teenage girls and both of my in-laws are known for their 'no-nonsense' approach. I definitely think it takes this kind of love over cuddles with a lot of these kids.

BIL and his wife had a bad experience, they had a group of siblings living with them, the children got tired of the rules and the oldest made some accusations of sexual abuse, they were removed and BIL went through a horrific ordeal while his name was cleared. The girl later admitted to making it up because she was annoyed with him. Prior to that he'd been accused of hitting the youngest as she had bruises, also was cleared of this when she admitted her sister had caused them. He received next to no support from the department or their agency during this.

Consider your own children first. I've seen a 8 month old belted across the face by a 9 yo child placed with my MIL, with no indication or warning she could be like this.

[Autumncurl]

can some one answer this for me:

If you long term foster care in one state and them say for xmas or holiday go to another state is the foster child allowed to go with you?

just really curious, as we have thought about foster care alot as a friend of my mums recently just got to adopt her foster child :) and has great stories of other children going on to live successful lives.

[BreithCuidiu]

H Autumncurl

I am a short term/emergency carer. But I know many long term/permanent carers. They have to speak wth the department about travel plans and gain permission for interstate travel. One carer who did not do this endedup in deep do-do as the child broke his arm on a waterslide in a resort and needed an operation to correct it. The department are the ones who sign consent forms or these things and were not impressed.

[sam's mum]

can some one answer this for me:

If you long term foster care in one state and them say for xmas or holiday go to another state is the foster child allowed to go with you?

just really curious, as we have thought about foster care alot as a friend of my mums recently just got to adopt her foster child :) and has great stories of other children going on to live successful lives.

you have to get permission, and it can be really restrictive. you are definitely not allowed to leave the state without permission. there is a huge list of things that you have to get permission for, and it all takes time. even school permission slips, a lot of them need to go to the department. want to take them for a haircut.... it is incredibly rare that you get to adopt your foster child. we were told never, but that you may get a permanent (expected to be longer than 12 month) placement

[Veritas]

Autumncurl.... Yes it can happen, but as Pp said it has to go through an approval process, as do a lot of things within foster care....

Re: the carers being able to say no, well there is a darn good reason for that....kids that have endured multiple unsuitable placements suffer loss and trauma similar to that of removal each time they are moved on, obviously restoration is the main goal where appropriate but up there with it is consistency of care....we very carefully consider each placement for each of our young people to give it the best chance of success and longevity, and that requires carers to be realistic about what they can handle and what suits the needs of their family also, especially when you are talking about high needs kids....
Its ongoing healthy connections that are going to help these kids take back the potential within their lives, not being lumped in totally inappropriate placements that are ultimately going to end....

[BlissedOut]

Yeah, you need to seek permission from the department, you have to give them sufficient notice too.

It CAN get very messy if you don't.

We never had any problems and we've had family members take kids in their care to America with permission.

[Macks]

Hi scrambled pancakes,

Thanks for your thread. We are looking at either starting the foster care or permanent care program but really unsure of which path to take. Can I check how long it took from whoa to go with the foster care system?

Cheers, Mack's

[ScrambledPancakes]

Hi ,

We started about 2 years ago and from what I remember the process was about 6 or so months? With some times of lots of interviews and phone calls and then what felt like a long time of nothing !

There is a HUGE need for carers...of all kinds. We have been told many times that the placement will just be for a couple of days and then 10 months later we still have them. So you need to be open and ready for anything.

We have under 2-3's.... but we mostly seem to get newborns or little bubbas ( 6months ) .

The boys I was wrote about in the previous post ended up leaving us to go to a distant family member after we had had them for 15 months... it was heartbreaking..but we were able to care for them while we could.

But friends of ours that were placed with the boys cousins will now have them until they are 18 .
The legislation in NSW is that a carer must have a permanent placement in the home for 2 years before they can apply for adoption.

Good luck and if you have any more questions...just ask!

( if you can't tell by how much I have written - i am pretty passionate about fostering ! )

[InBetween]

- nothing in foster care is 'permanent'. Some children go on Long Term Guardianship orders, and you may get children who are on this type of order but that doesn't mean YOU can have them forever - which sucks. They can be moved from you to whoever at any time, especially if a random family member pops up or a more 'culturally appropriate' carer turns up etc. So keep in mind ALWAYS that unless you adopt them (which is almost unheard of in foster care), you cannot count on them being with you forever. As heartbreaking as the thought is, it happens quite a lot.

I have not fostered but have always wanted to.

However, DH has fostered (before I met him) and has said he will not foster for the above reason. It's not that they were taken as this is the realistic backdrop to fostering. It's that they came in the night (11pm) and whisked the twins away (whom he'd had for five years) and he never saw them again, wasn't allowed to follow up on their progress, nothing.

Great thread.