Would you change current circumstances if you could?

[Wondermum]

I can imagine the pay is great for these jobs where partners are required to work away from home/ family for long periods.

If you had a choice what would you do under these circumstances?

The DH/DP could change jobs where he would be at home with you and the kids, BUT his wages nearly halved?

OR

Your current situation where your DH/DP's work requires him to be away from home, thus earning more money?

Feel free to post your reasons why, but I'll also include a poll.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

not really a choice as I am sure most people would love their DH's to be at home but need the money for mortgage,living, child support etc etc etc...I voted for him being aaway cos at the moment it the only way we can choose! Money not that enormous but more than he could get working drilling down here...and I dont want him doing something he hates like driving trucks or machining both he is qualified to do...but hates...we get quality time when he is home and it only for the short term in our marriage ie 5-10 years...and as rosy as it would be for him, to be home the lack of finances would mean we would go under and Matilda and my stepchildren would have a very miserable existence...maybe when I can train and work again I will go and be the breadwinner then he can come home :smiliedance:

[bearsmummy]

We are so happy with our current situation we wouldnt have it any other way now. My DF now has more time at home on his week off than what he did when he was working locally :eek:

We now have time to go away on small trips away on his week off as well which is great.
DF and i get on so much better now as we are no longer under pressure due to finances and our deposit for our home to be built is almost there!
He seems to respect what i do around here a little more as he know sees what goes on here each day and appreciates the kids and i so much more, as do we with him.

I have always said to people who comment on how on earth i cope and how they couldnt do it themselves, that it doesnt suit everyone, each to their own.

But when it comes to the crunch, we love it and wouldnt have it an other way :D

[Bubble*Crazy]

Hey, Mel. These are the exact reasons why we're considering DP apply for a job "away". (2 weeks on, 1 week off.)

It also means that I can be at home with the kids without paying for daycare and missing out on their important years.

We also have the issue that even when DP books time off he always has to change it or cut them short as they (his work) rely on him too much and have other less reliables working there. When DS was born, he was going to take 1 week off. Luckily I was doing well as he actually worked 3 of the 5 days he'd booked. :banghead: :banghead: - and it's not as if he's doing really well out of it :no: . Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!

This surely wouldn't happen if he actually worked away - he can work whenever he wants/needed to when he's there, but when he's home he's actually HOME and OURS!

[Billy]

Well DH just left his old job (local, half as much money) to work away from home half the time with double the pay, only 2ish months ago... He too gets more time at home now than b4 on his days off...:eek:

Unfortunately it is not really a choice here either... with me off work there were just too many bills :gloomy: You have to be able to live comfortably in my opinion and now we don't have to stress as much.

The plan is to pay off the mortgage in 5-10 years then he can come back into town for less money- it won't matter so much then :smiliedance:

It gets me down sometimes when I'm having a rough night with Rhianna and I'd just like to hand her to someone else for awhile and you just can't... but other than that it's pretty good :)

[Wondermum]

Thanks for all your replies ladies.

If you don't mind can I ask how long your DH/DP's work away and how long they are at home?

Trying to relate to our situation of DH being offered a job 4wks on 1wk off.

bearsmummy: I know what you mean when you say "it doesn't suit everyone, each to their own". My sister is in the same situation that we are now considering and her and the kids are living in another country while her DH is working over here :eek: But she is doing really well, though she has the support of our mummy and her DH's side of the family. I was always saying that I really don't know how she can do it :confused: It was bad enough for me when the DH was working 2.5 hours away from home a few months ago. By the end of the arvo (or should I say evening) I couldn't wait for him to roll up the driveway and spend some time with DS.
What a relief!!!

I'm still trying to work out a way of living close by so we can all be together :confused: I really don't think I'd be happy with DH being away from us all for 4 whole weeks :gloomy: I know how DH's long days of commuting a few months ago affected DS relationship with his daddy.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

I 2nd and 3rd the fact the time you do have together is so much more quality and apart from at the mo cos DH also working when he comes home cos we so strapped it has meant we can go away during the week and have the stepkids in the holidays etc etc
Um wondermum DH is supposed to be on a 3week on 10 day off roster but it varies depending on machinery breaking down, bores being finsihed quicker than planned etc etc and sometimes he only home for a couple of days if they need him to go on another rig to cover...I think alot of us experience less than structered shift patterns - which probly is hte most infuriating thing never being able to plan in advance - but then we get to be very spontaneous too which is fun!:smiliedance:

[bearsmummy]

Wondermum my DF works away usually 2 weeks on 1 week off but sometimes can go up to 3 weeks away like last swing.
Just depends on whats happening with how well i cope each swing, some swings are easier than others....

I hope all works out for you hun, you have us here if you need us :hugs:


Bubble*crazy is your DH looking for a job on the mines or already has one? I love it this way, wouldnt have it any other way, the pressure of money has just disappeared and with that gone, so are alot of our stresses as well.
All the best, hope things go really well with you and your family :D

[bubaloo1979]

DF works away 4 weeks and home 1. He was earning double the money when he first started but has since been put on night shift so is earning nearly 3 times more than he was before leaving. There is no stress about money any more. We've got a wedding to save for next year plus get debt free (apart from the mortgage) and we even get to go out to lunch/dinner when he comes home.

He's just left for his second stint away and it has made our relationship stronger so far so I can imagine what the future will bring. And if you're busy enough (and who isn't with children) the 4 weeks go really fast. Ok, the first 3 fly the last one drags - i think that's how it's supposed to be though. And as Mel (Bearsmummy) said, we hae more time with DF on his week off then we would've during 1 month working here.

It's not something that we will do forever, but at least until the end of next year. We should have a good deposit for a house then and can sell the duplex. It'd be nice to have more space so the family can grow.

Therese.

[lavenderpegasus]

I voted for the one where nothing really changed, I love the life we have and being alone relly works for me. My dh is away a lot he will be home in 9 days after being away for five months straight. he will be home for a week or so and then going away again but for only one to three weeks. He promises me he will be home till next July... ( i hope we don't kill each other... only kidding)