Back to the old ways? *vent*

[HowCrazyCool]

start vent ::p:p

The last 5ish months or so have been really awesome with Dp's ex, we have all gotten along, we have all talked and sorted everything out.
We all went to a parenting course together, we have been doing really well.

Until last night, i had a 50th to go to and was leaving when she was dropping Dsd off, when i wake up this morning i see Dsd's room is spotless and all the furniture is moved around. I am like wtf?

I ask Dp what happened? and he said Ex went of her tree saying the room was messy (which it was) and starts cleaning it. he said not to bother he will do it tomorrow, but she just keeps doing it and and moves around the furniture as well:confused:
Needless to say i was P-off:mad:

I asked Dp why he didn't stop her and he said, why so she can scream at me? :(

I thought bugger this she has done things like this before, and it is NOT fair, this is my house and i am not to feel like this in my house it really gave me the shivers and made me angry, i don't even know where it all came from (might have to look into it, i thought i was ok with how things were between me and her),

So i sent her this text :

Hey *****, im not to pleased with last night,. *****'s room was a mess because *****(Dp) needed to clean it, not me and certainly not you. and on another level it's over stepping the boundary's of our house, next time if you strongly believe in something like that again, come over and have a chat, we can all work it out but please do not do that again. i am sorry if this is abrupt but i think we need to get into the habit of a weekly/fortnightly meeting so we can all talk about things that are bothering us so this doesn't happen again.


So im not sure if things are back to the old ways, but i hope not. I have NEVER done this before, told her that something she has done in this house has annoyed me. (all other places i don't care what she does, but not my house)


Vent over: thanks for getting this far:highfive::highfive:







No negative comments thanks, it will tick me off :devil::devil: No negative comments wrapped in some constructive criticism either, I am just venting, any genuine support is welcome though:highfive:

[Ruby Sneakers]

While she's there, did she do ur bathroom too?? How frustrating for u!!!! I'm suprised u even let her in ur house.... At all!!!

Did u get a reply???

[smileygirl]

she definately over stepped!

I am the bio mum and I would NEVER go in and move stuff about when DS goes to stay with his dad and step mum.

It's all about healthy boundaries and BOTH sides being able to enforce and maintain them.

I think your text was perfect.

[JabberJaw]

Geez she did over step her boundaries i reckon.

How rude.

[Crazyfamily]

wow you are a lot calmer than i would be. but it wouldnt happen here as we meet half way to pick up my partners dd. (they live 2and a hlaf hours away). but i wouldnt let her in my house anyway. i see we need to be polite not friends. (she is nasty so i dont care if its right or wrong). if you partners ex cant control herself in YOUR home then maybe she shouldnt be allowed in. what she did is so wrong.:hugs:

[Amara]

What was she doing in your house in the first place? A drop off is usually done at the front door, driveway or away from the house.

[Boobycino]

Great message. Firm but clear.

What an odd thing to do. Maybe MAYBE I could understand like picking up a few toys whatever, like maybe of she's a bit obsessive maybe, but rearranging furniture if your home is not on :no:

I hope something can be worked out.

[august]

Yeah , thats not on.
I can see from a motherly point of few that she would want to make things 'nice' for her daughter.
But in a situation like that you have to respect the other parents by not just welcoming yourself into thier home.

Your home is your sanctuary and it must unnerving to have your DPs EX barge in and take over.
Your text was good, i am sure she will think about it from now on.

[lulu 2]

She sounds like she is on drugs.

[Hollywood]

I can understand that she wants her daughter's room to be tidy...but it's not her house!!! I really don't understand why she would really care that much, she doesn't live there! She doesn't have to see it! Very weird thing to do.

[Benji]

Do you think maybe you'd all be better off not being so close iykwim? My exes partner is welcome in my house (just not the ex lol) but she's usuallynot interested and just drops him at the door. Personally I hate conflict more than anything but I think ex families can be too close and she obviously doesn't see she's gone too far. Hmm a child with a messy room, who would've thought lmao. My mum is actually coming over today so I can clean up my tip, ds room is terrible!!!!!!

[Geniene]

LOL I would have gone nuts! You did well :)

[HowCrazyCool]

WELLLLL i had to drop Dsd home, first time ever. :cool: (dp had to orgainse the workers for work tomorrow)

She only got the text today, she said she read it and was like Ooo shiit, she said she was really sorry and that she just didn't think. She was just all in a zone ( and boy dose she get in them good sometimes) And she would have gone nuts if it was the other way around, and apologized again.


But i think it did effect her a bit because she was chucking out all her stuff, every time something goes wrong she chucks things out, she put up a curtain/barrier in the lounge to block out all the bad chi coming in the door, but i did score some pretty lamp shades she was just chucking to the tip, So all in all a productive day.

thanks everyone, i didn't think the text was too much, but you just never know sometimes.


:highfive::highfive::shakehands::highfive::highfiv e:

[jimmysmummy]

My stepdaughter's mum cleans her room every time she comes over. There is no point saying anything because she just ignores us.

The reason she does it is because we tell Tiff she has to clean her room on the weekend. If she goes to her mum's that weekend, then she will tell her mum that she doesn't want to clean it, so her mum does it for her while Tiff sits on the bed directing her and yelling at her when she doesn't do it right.

the birth-giver has the gall to tell us that we're mean for not helping her clean her room. Ummm, she's 11 years old, and we tell her countless times to put things away as she goes instead of throwing them on the floor.

Other things her mum does include:

-Buy junk food for Tiff to hide in her room because our food is 'too healthy'

-Organise ballet or gymnstic classes for when she is at our place, meaning that I have to take her there, without asking me if I would mind doing it

-Organise weekly tuckshop meals because the lunches I pack are 'too healthy'

-When Tiff was in prep, she used to go into the classroom and put extra food in her lunchbox

I could go on and on. The woman only sees her daughter a couple of times a month (her choice) and she thinks that if she spoils her daughter and never says no to her, that makes everything better.

Oh, the best one- Tiff recently went there 3 weekends in a row (only for one night), and when she was dropped off, Tiff asked when she could see her again...her mum replied, "Oh, not for a while, I've seen you the last 3 weekends and I need a break."

[Miss_N]

She sounds like she is on drugs.

You know, sometimes I read things and think....MY GAWD!!! I hope that poor mother is not on BH! :no::(:cool:

She wanted her daughters room to be tidy. Sure she may have over stepped the mark but she has since apologised to the OP!

How does her tidying up a room, moving things, over stepping the mark = her being on drugs! That's a horrid thing to say IMO!

[Ruby Sneakers]

OP - glad that it was all 'resolved' smoothly :hugs: hopefully she won't get in one of her 'zones' in ur house again :laughing: xox

[HowCrazyCool]

immysmummy - golly gosh, i thought we had it bad. But you guys take the cake:highfive::highfive: Hi-fives all round.


Miss_N - :hugs: I feel the same way too.

[HowCrazyCool]

Her zones are legendary i can tell you that:p :hair: :raspberry: :sunshine: :laughing: :ecomcity: