Best friends wedding (long story)

[Emzie]

My best friend got engaged today...and for some reason i feel really really sad. I don't think it's jealously, i feel something isn't sitting right.

The guy lives over seas and she hadn't met him before till last Friday (only talked on facebook, webcam etc) and there already engaged! The marriage seems to be pushed onto her by her family who want her to marry the same nationatily and I think she feels she needs to to make her family happy.

I am scared he is just using her to come to our country (she has told me he wants to get an australian citizenship, go to university here etc)

Am i over thinking things to much? I feel sick thinking i will be asked to be bridesmaid/attend the wedding :no:

What should i do?

[Aaliyahsmummy]

A simular thing happened to my sil, before I met dh. Apparently he sat her down andbegged her not to take it to fast, at least get to know the gut first. She still married him.

I think if you are close enough I would sit her down and say that your really worried and don't want her to get hurt. But I wouldn't push it too much. If she says it's what she wants there is nothing you can do really, except be an amazing friend, particually If your bad thoughts turn out to be right.

[missie_mack]

Arranged marriages can actually work quite suprisingly well, statistically speaking. As her friend you need to hold her hand and support her the best you can. Getting engaged doesn't mean they will get married tommorrow. Worst case she does and it goes sour, sometimes we all have to make those mistakes for ourselves. Often when blinded with love or infactuation you just can't see past it all and questioning it (particularly if there is family pressure) could jeopardise the friendship.

[gizmoduckus]

If she seems hesitant, then talk to her about it. If she seems happy, then just let them be. I could be wrong but even if there was pressure from the family to marry the same nationality, it doesn't sound like it had to be this particular guy so it seems like she had some choice in the matter.

I know that she is your friend and that you care about her but sometimes you have to let people make their own way in life.

[RunningWithScissors]

Tell her you are concerned for her, but be careful to tell her in a way that doesn't seem like you are questioning her choices.
Then just be by her side to share in her joy, or pick up the pieces when it all goes bad.

My best friend has done some things that shocked the poo out of me.. but I'm there all the way supporting her choice, even i I don't agree with her :)

[Blonde Assassin]

So is this an arranged marriage? Meaning did her parents set this up? Or did she just happen to meet him online herself?

Arranged marriages are completely foreign to me, but if this is what she has been brought up with then maybe its normal to her? From what you said she seems to like him so far, so then I guess there isn't much you can do! Just wait & see what sort of person he is in real life & make your judgement then.

Hope it works out well for your friend :goodvibes: