how do i know when enough is enough?

[Happymumzy]

Ok well i have 3 beautiful kids, DS1 5 years, DS2 3 years and DD 1 year old! but i can't stop thinking of having another.
Some days i really want another, and some days i don't. I am soooo confused!
Has anyone known when they are finished? or are these feelings always here?
I really would love another but am scared about having 4, mainly because of financial reasons!
aaaarrrgghhh, so confusing!
I miss being pregnant, and i love giving birth and i just don't feel complete if that makes sense??

[2made3]

Totally!

We said we were only ever going to have 2 kids. But, like you, I got the urge really strongly for another. So I convinced DH and BAM! our little girl is here :bee:

DS1 was a surprise baby and with DS2 I also felt a really strong pull to have another. But after having DD, I haven't had any of that (I got it about this stage with the others). I really do feel 'complete' and happy with 3 kids. I also feel I have passed that desire to be pregnant & experience labour and a newborn again too.

So it does happen! I think you just need another :D Good luck!! :p

[youngmumof3wa]

Ok well i have 3 beautiful kids, DS1 5 years, DS2 3 years and DD 1 year old! but i can't stop thinking of having another.
Some days i really want another, and some days i don't. I am soooo confused!
Has anyone known when they are finished? or are these feelings always here?
I really would love another but am scared about having 4, mainly because of financial reasons!
aaaarrrgghhh, so confusing!
I miss being pregnant, and i love giving birth and i just don't feel complete if that makes sense??

I could have written that, though for me there is hardly any days when I don't want another one.

I am hoping to start trying in december.

[Happymumzy]

the main reason i am not sure is money and car! so i was thinking i might wait until 2 are at school??? then start talking about it again!
The house is a bit too small atm!
but i sooo want another! lol

[Happymumzy]

I am also worried about the possibility of twins! knowing our luck we will say ok 1 more and have twins! lol My mum is a twin, she had twins (but 1 died) my partners aunt's are twins and they both had twins, then one of them had twins! lol so there are a few in the family!
And our house is too small, it's only a 3 bedroom house so as it is the boys are sharing and my youngest has a room to herself, but they are SMALL rooms!

[trishalishous]

its hard hey?
if anyone comes up with a magic switch for that instinct let me know :laughing!

[Happymumzy]

lol! i would love a magic switch! :laughing:

[melbryan]

My urge was so strong after each child I was pregnant within 5 -6mths after the previous was born. I never really wanted 4 but it is what I have been dealt and I love all my kids until the end of the earth, I would never trade any one of them they are all so different and that's what i love about them. It took a bit of time convincing DH, he would have been happy with 2 boys but I had different ideas. After the 4th I knew my body could not take any more and I could not do any more. I feel very complete now but I didn't then. It did help that I had a girl on the 4th after three boys. In my opinion you will know when you are done it is such a personal thing.Most of the older people I work with regretted not having more but no one has ever regretted having the ones that are here, one of my workmates lost a son at 19 in a car crash so now she has one child she said her one regret was more kids. So my thing is you will find the love, the car, and the space for that extra child as long as they are needed and wanted and loved there's nothing else to help you decide.
We bought a second hand Au station wagon seats 8, DH sold his ute which paid for it. We converted our study into a bedroom now they have a room each, a fairly reliable car and theyhave each other so that's enough for me.

[motherofmany]

I alway thought the same, will I ever want to stop? Well we are preg. with number 6 now and I know that this is it. I don't know why I know, I just do. I guess I just feel ... I don't know, I just know.:confused:

I hope I feel the same after bub is born. I have alway wanted another while still in the delivery room, so we will see come May.:fingerscrossed:

[Bel1978]

I have 2 kids I'm done!!! Both were diagnosed on the autism spectrum which really confirmed I'm done

[Disney Baby]

I think that if you want #4, then you should go for it :D

I'm only TTC #1 at the moment (10 months and counting :rolleyes:) so I know of the urge to want a child.

I guess it would be different for others with kids already, but I still think that if you want it...do it! :D

[motheroffour]

I know what you mean, I have 4 and know I dont want anymore and know it would send me crazy but sometimes I feel so clucky and even think about twins urgh I have problems:laughing:

[Happymumzy]

Thanks guys, well i had a chat with DP and we have decided to have #4 but not just yet! he wants to wait for a year or 2! I'm soooo excited! i want to start trying now! lol

:smiliedance:

[Herchy]

I have 2 kids and I know that I am done! I have always said 2, and I'm totally fine with it. I have no urge at all to have anymore and a pregnancy scare showed me just how done I am.

[lambjam]

Ok well i have 3 beautiful kids, DS1 5 years, DS2 3 years and DD 1 year old! but i can't stop thinking of having another.
Some days i really want another, and some days i don't. I am soooo confused!

I'm so happy to have found this thread, I could also have written this! I have 3 boys, aged 9, 4 and 10 months. DH feels our family more than complete, although if I asked for one more he would agree. The strange thing is that I also feel our family is complete, yet I can't stop thinking about another baby.

We are only using condoms during fertile periods as our contraception, and this weekend I messed up my dates and we DTD slap bang in the middle of when we "shouldn't" have. Now I can't stop thinking about the possibility of being pregnant, and feel really excited at the thought of another.

If I'm not pregnant, I expect I'll be disappointed. What does that mean? Will I end up TTC? It seems crazy; there are days I'm at my wits' end with the running around I do with 3, and to wish for another with such a close gap... I don't understand myself! :confused::confused::confused:

I'm not really worried about money; I'm a SAHM for the next few years anyway, and we're about to buy a 7-seater car regardless. It's just that 4 children seems like so many to me, and a big part of me is looking forward to the whole child-bearing business being over.

I think it's my underlying want for a girl. I would so love a daughter, just writing that word makes me tear up a little :o.

So... I'm of absolutely no help to anyone else here, but I'm more than happy to wallow in indecision with you!

[jaesmummy]

OMG, I hope I find some sort of STOPPING PILL after this one! I find it so hard to say never again. Eight has to be enough!! Leanne

[meme]

I don't feel done, but maybe I am.

Your bub in your avatar is sooo cute I feel a bit cluckety cluck....

but now my kids are growing up and I'm single I'm probably done.

But then I've still got 7 maybe 10 fertile years left I hope....so we will see:laughing:

[Happymumzy]

I know, its sooo hard, there are day's when the boys are playing up and i think nah that's enough, but most other days all i can think of is having another one!

Atm i am not on any contraception and never really have been but i have PCOS so find it hard to fall pregnant any way! but every month in a way i cross my fingers and hope that i will be pregnant!
But i think i will listen to my partner for once :laughing: and wait a year or two and if i still want another then we will try again!
But it is soooo hard! tonight i saw at least 3 new borns when i was shopping and i longed for that to be me holding the baby!

[Happymumzy]

OMG, I hope I find some sort of STOPPING PILL after this one! I find it so hard to say never again. Eight has to be enough!! Leanne

Wow 8??? :eek: gosh i think 4 would be enough for me! lol you must be a super mum! :yelclap:

[BayleysMum]

I am now overdue with boy no.3 and I know I am done. I have never felt this way before but have felt this way since a few weeks into the pegnancy.

I also wondered whether I would know when I was done. I asked my mum and aunty the same question. My mum wanted another child so couldnt answer but my aunty who had three children said I would know.

My partner wants another child and people think we will try for a girl which makes the feeling of not wanting anymore even stronger for me.

Big families are amazing though. They dont need their own rooms or a million toys because having one another is so much more rewarding so I would say if you feel you want another go fot it :)

[~CupCakes~]

I am also worried about the possibility of twins! knowing our luck we will say ok 1 more and have twins! lol My mum is a twin, she had twins (but 1 died) my partners aunt's are twins and they both had twins, then one of them had twins! lol so there are a few in the family!
And our house is too small, it's only a 3 bedroom house so as it is the boys are sharing and my youngest has a room to herself, but they are SMALL rooms!


the main reason i am not sure is money and car! so i was thinking i might wait until 2 are at school??? then start talking about it again!
The house is a bit too small atm!
but i sooo want another! lol

this is exactly me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in 2012 the older two will be in school and dd2 will be four :eek: where has the time gone !!! i alaways wanted a big family but worry about money and cars etc

OMG, I hope I find some sort of STOPPING PILL after this one! I find it so hard to say never again. Eight has to be enough!! Leanne

:D you must be a superwoman!!!! you give me lots of hope that a big family is possible

[MummyLip]

The urge to have another baby is strong. My daughter is 6 months old and I have started feeling clucky again. Originally I didn't want to have them close together but now I think it's a good idea.
Also, I want them to go to primary school close together so I can go back to work in a couple of years. If I wait 3 years than it'll be a long time out of the work force.
I think we'll wait 6 months before TTC#2. We fell pregnant first time with DD and I don't want to be pregnant in Summer again- too hot!!!!

[Happymumzy]

thanks for the reply's! but guess what? today i found out i am pregnant with number 4! :laughing: so i guess i am ready! it came as a bit of a shock! but we are extremely happy! i couldn't believe it when i looked at the stick and it was a :bfp:, so much for waiting a couple of years! :laughing:

it hasn't really sunk in yet, but i did 5 pregnancy tests and they are all the same!:smiliedance:(done 3 first response, and 2 digital!)

[mummythreetimes]

Well i thought we were done we made our minds up about 2years ago as we were getting ahead etc etc but something failed this year and nature had other ideas in store for us so we are expecting baby number 3 (singleton) and the more i think about it the more i wouldnt mind another one after this so this baby has somone close to its own age as the twins are very close but then i dont think i want to risk falling pregnant with twins again!

[Widget]

Congrats!!

Who knows if you do have twins you might feel complete then...

So, you'd be due in June? Having twins in May?? Either either lol

We always said 2. And having 2 with special needs we thought we were done... I found it sooo hard to say yep that's it, get the snip... Felt like I wasn't ready to say no more for good...

I was diagnosed with PCOS April last year so went off the pill (oddly enough became rather regular after that). We don't like condoms so have been contraception free but not trying for a while...

The topic came up a few times about having a 3rd but we never could decide...

8 weeks with #3 now... FH says he's getting the snip once bub arrives but so far I have no thoughts or feelings on this... We'll see when the time comes hey...

[lambjam]

thanks for the reply's! but guess what? today i found out i am pregnant with number 4! :laughing: so i guess i am ready! it came as a bit of a shock! but we are extremely happy! i couldn't believe it when i looked at the stick and it was a :bfp:, so much for waiting a couple of years! :laughing:

Congratulations! :highfive:

Funnily enough I'm in the TWW after a miscalculation with my dates... maybe my decision will be made for me too ;).

[6tobe]

I have 4 children 13,11,9, and 6 and we were definatly NEVER having anymore!!! untill we found out we were now expecting Twins:barf:....as much as the shock hit us and the thought of affording 2 more a bigger car and a bigger house not to metion our baby is 6 and at school and we have been able to find ourselves again we are now over the moon!!!! i thought i was over babies and had lost all the maternal instincts i needed to have a baby again,as my children are at a great age.....but of course when blessed again with not 1 but 2 babies it all comes back.......:highfive: i might add that its amazing how many people react in a very negative way when you tell them that your having twins and they are you 5th and 6th child i find it very sad that its frowned upon these day to have alot of children!!!!!

[Happymumzy]

Congratulations! :highfive:

Funnily enough I'm in the TWW after a miscalculation with my dates... maybe my decision will be made for me too ;).

Good luck! i hope it is! It still hasn't really sunk in yet! lol i feel pregnant but yeah bit of a shock! :laughing:
i am a bit worried though! 4 kids under 6 :eek:! always thought i would only have 2! oh well i am over the moon, and just can't wait to see my peanut and feel his/her kicks! never thought i would actually look forward to being sooo uncomfortable again!:laughing:

Just not looking forward to the in-laws reactions! :laughing:

[MummyLip]

congratulations, you sound like a wonderful mum and I'm sure you'll coe fine. Keep us updated

[cuinee]

HI,
I have a 3 child now..But i' urge to have another one..and my husband want to have a baby boy...but we have a difficulty with our financial...what should we do?

Need advice please..thanks...

[Happymumzy]

HI,
I have a 3 child now..But i' urge to have another one..and my husband want to have a baby boy...but we have a difficulty with our financial...what should we do?

Need advice please..thanks...

We are in the same situation financial wise, but the way we see it is you can do anything you put your mind too! honestly i don't think there will be too much difference, we already have a 7 seater 4wd, and still have all our baby things!
Eventually we will need a bigger house but for now i guess that can wait!

Of course when it comes to schools and things it will get a bit more expensive but by the time they are in school i will hopefully be back at work!

Good luck with your decision!:hugs:

[Happymumzy]

HI,
I have a 3 child now..But i' urge to have another one..and my husband want to have a baby boy...but we have a difficulty with our financial...what should we do?

Need advice please..thanks...

We have also sat down and worked out a strict budget and savings plan!

At times i am sure we will find it hard, but my kids will never be with out the things they need.

If you really need help working out your financial matters why don't you make an appointment with a financial planner! i'm sure they could help!

[motherofmany]

i am a bit worried though! 4 kids under 6

Happymumzy

You will be fine!!:hugs: We had 4 under 4 now that was tricky. You should at least have a little bit of help from the older. Planning and more planning of the day ahead was the key for me.

[miniature]

oh my goodness, this is exactly what I am worried about! How to tell when you've had enough children!! I had my third child in January, and pretty much straight away I wanted another one!! I cried every day at the thought of not having any more children and wondered how on earth people managed to come to terms with the thought of not going again. So thanks you other mums out there for making me feel better! Guess I'll be going again! ( Crazily enough, my hubby and I really want twins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Imagine that.....