More questions

[Priscilla]

I have some more questions about controlled crying. Can someone please help?

1. OK, I have been told that if they're whimpering a little and it's been over 10mins, then to leave them be. But today, Cameron was whimpering for over half an hour. In this case (if it happens again in the future), should I go in or not?

2. After a period of whimpering, Cameron sometimes gets louder and louder. As if the whimpering is BECOMING a cry rather than a cry becoming a whimper. Is that normal?

3. I've noticed Cameron's voice has been husky and when he's asleep, I can hear phlegm when he's breathing. During the day, every now and again I can hear some phlegm and a bit of a chesty cough. It's not a whole lot of spluttering, just if he's choked on a bit of water, I can hear the 'chestiness' in that cough. It appears well and not sick at all (apart from the described). Should I be worried? Should I stop the controlled crying? Is the controlled crying causing this?

4. Is it ok to give Cameron a drink of water during the crying session?

5. I know the crying should get shorter and shorter but the last two days, it's been a bit all over the place. His cries where getting down to the 20min mark but now it's back up to the 40min and this arvo it was just over an hour! Is this normal? Although tonight, he fell asleep within two minutes..... Has this up and down happened to anyone else?

Thanks for the help in advance!!!

[reAllytee]

Ok it sounds like you lo is actually getting a cold so they always advise to stop CC if this is the case or there are any other stresses going on in your household.

Now with him whimpering personally if it continued i would definately go in & if it gets louder then yes you should go in.
Im not an expert or the likes but the video we were shown at our mothers group advised to listen to his cries/noises if they escalate then you go to them otherwise if you know they are just either talking to themselves then leave them be to fall asleep all by themselves.

Have your tried just sitting next to his cot while he goes off to sleep & patting him as needed ?
Sometimes they just need to know your there & arent leaving them to feel reassured to fall off.
I had to do this with my DS & sometimes still do if its a bad day.
They get worried your going to leave them & its natural for them to get upset.
So personally if he is still crying after 10mins i would be picking him up cuddling him reassuring him your there etc then once he calms try placing him down again then sit next to him again reassuring him your there then once you think he is settled enough & calm leave the room.
Im not a fan of CC but im not against it either because we all try to find something that works for us especially when nothing else seems to work.
I would try & find something your comfy with & that works for both of you, it doesnt have to come from a book or the likes to be right its what works thats right.
Good luck :hugs:

[rynosmum]

What you're doing is similar to the method we used with DS. If he was whimpering we would leave him. If it escalated, I'd definitely go to him. If you think he needs water then give it to him. If you think he is getting a cold and needs more cuddles than normal, then give the CC methods a break until he is feeling more settled.

I had awful trouble trying to get my DS to settle and DH suggested we try a type of 'controlled comforting'. After we argued about it :D , we gave it a go. Luckily our DS was very adaptable to it so within 3 days, he would self-settle almost immediately - of course we had a few hiccups over the first few weeks but the final result was amazing.

Trust your instinct. If you think he needs you, then go to him.:hugs:

[jkate]

I had awful trouble trying to get my DS to settle and DH suggested we try a type of 'controlled comforting'. After we argued about it :D , we gave it a go. Luckily our DS was very adaptable to it so within 3 days, he would self-settle almost immediately - of course we had a few hiccups over the first few weeks but the final result was amazing.

Trust your instinct. If you think he needs you, then go to him.:hugs:

Can I ask, what you did with "Controlled Comforting" - sounds like what we need!

[red crayon]

Hi Priscilla,

I'm agreeing with allyoo and rynosmum. i went to sleep school with my little bloke and he was more of a whinger than a crier when it came to settling. at the sleep school, they did 2 mins of crying then go in re-settle, 4 mins, 6 mins, 8 mins, 10 mins, 10 mins and then back to the start. because spencer whinged and whimpered they advised me to leave him for 20 mins and then go in and re-settle. as allyoo and rynosmum have said, if your instinct says to go in, go in. give him some water, give him a break and try again. and if he's got a cold, it's better not to do CC. try some other techniques.

good luck.

[maad]

Hi Pricilla

I did sleep school with my twins 14mths. My DD was a wimperess? In this instance they advised me that she needed a re-affirmation of sleep time and would go in and resettle with a little pat on the bottom not patting to sleep or staying in for no more than two mins. She would settle right back down and go off to sleep most times has now sleep through for four nights in a row. She also got croaky in the her voice from all the crying at the start we persisted and she is great now. They explained it like a diet if you binge then get right back on it same as settling techniques. My DS is another story altogether.

Good luck if I can help at all pm me.
Anne