Unplanned bub #2 - freaking out

[kermat]

Hi everyone,

I was a regular visitor to this forum previously when I was pregnant with bub #1 however I haven't been back since he was born, have since forgotten my username so have had to start again!!

Anyhoo, bub #1 is 15 months old and I've just found out that I am pregnant again - big surprise. I am not sure when my last period was, I was previously on the mini-pill and my period was all over the place, so back in July given that I was no longer breastfeeding I decided to see my GP and go back on the regular pill.

My GP said there should be no problem going straight from the mini-pill to the regular pill but that if we wanted to be super cautious to use extra precautions for the first 7 days - which I'm pretty sure we did. But, I must have made some miscalculation somewhere.......

So I'd estimate I'm around 7 weeks along. And I have so not come to terms with it yet!!! I have only been back at work for 3 months, part time, and have been quite enjoying it. I am stressing about telling my boss, and I feel like everyone is going to be looking at me thinking "geez she's only just come back to work and she's gone and gotten pregnant again???". Also with regards to maternity leave, you have to be back for 12 months before you can take more maternity leave and I think I'll only have been back for about 10 months before I need to go on maternity leave again, so not sure how that is going to work out.

But work aside, what is bothering me the most at the moment is, I'm just not really happy or excited about this baby yet and I feel awful about that. I hope its just because I'm still in shock.......... But I love my first bubba so much, he's just a joy to be with and I love being his mum and looking after him, and I feel like I'm not ready to have another baby come along and steal my time from him!! Is that normal?? I mean, I guess when bub #2 comes along I'll love he/she just as much, but at the moment I just can't imagine it and I don't feel ready to share my first bubba!!

I guess I just need some reassurance if there are any other mothers out there who were surprised by bub #2, do you eventually get used to the fact that you will have enough love for both babies???

xxxx

[2made3]

:hugs: Ahh you poor thing....

#1 was our surprise bubba. It took me the best part of 4 months to adjust to the idea of becoming a mum. Not quite the same scenario as you but I can understand your feelings. It wasn't until I saw him on the ultrasound that I started to get excited about it. Still had many flip-outs before he was born but I never regretted having him. Loved it so much we had 2 more! LOL

In regards to not giving your time to your first born, we planned #2 and I struggled with this the whole pregnancy. I think that is a very normal feeling whether you plan the pg or not. In fact, I found the hardest part about having #2 was adjusting to the emotional tug-of-wars. But believe me, there is more than enough love for 2 babies - or 3 or 4!! And you will love #2 as much as #1.

Can't help you re: maternity leave as I have never been eligable for it!

I hope everything works out well and best of luck xx - oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

[KyD]

Hi!
I think i can help with the maternity leave thing.
I hope to be in a similar situation i guess. I go back to work in November and we are TTC#2 now. Hence I will only be back at work for 7 ish months if we were to fall pg now and wondered the same. I went to the fair work Australia website and had a live chat with one of their people and pretty much asked where i would stand if all went to plan. My reply was - They can't sack me for falling pregnant but they are not obligated to offer maternity leave under the new NES (national Employment Standards) as I would not be eligible, Hence when i leave on "Maternity Leave" it may actually be my last day of employment.
So i guess unless you have an EBA or AWA that specifically deals with a second maternity leave then you ma be in the same boat as me.

HTH

As for the trying to figure out where number 2 fits in the scheme of your family, I am sure you will love it just the same as #1. It is something that i have thought about, but then i think of the company DD will have down the track and believe that it is the best thing for our family.:D