Night weaning advice

[MsMummy]

I've read articles and advice on several sites (including the Dr Sears one) but just wondering if anybody had any experiences.

I want to night wean my 23mo son.

At the moment:

- 9pm feeds to sleep in our bed (and stays there all night)
- has at least one feed during the night
- has a feed just before I get up for work - so about 5.30am-6am (generally lingering type feed)

I would like him to drop the middle feed.

I was planning to:

- still feed him in our bed as normal to go to sleep
- for a few days/weeks (whatever necessary), I sleep in the neighbouring bedroom, and he just sleeps next to my partner
- if he wakes up, then my partner will try to pat him or cuddle him back to sleep (but if that fails and he gets hysterical, I will come in and feed him)
- come back in for dawn feed if he wakes up

I would hope I could eventually come back to the bed as he will be out of the habit. If not, he could go on a mattress next to the bed.

Sorry that this is long!

Anybody had success with this sort of method?

[niks28]

I also want to know too as I plan to wean my 15mth old gradually by feb/march next year, at the moment she has 4 feeds in 24hrs and I think the 1am should be the first to go.

Will be interested with your responses. :)

[genegeenie]

I found telling my girl (around 17mo at the time) 'no boobies, mummy will give you a squeezy cuddle' firmly for that particular feed worked after a few nights. She was wanting to feed every few hours which was fine in theory but I started to get reeaally tired... she didn't liek it but accepted it eventually. Of course other feeds as she wanted were fine, just not the third or fourth night feed. She also used a dummy which you may or may not like yourself.

However this did not work for my son at a similar age, who also fed 2hourly through the night... far too headstrong for that. ;)

[MsMummy]

Oh, I'd forgotten about this thread.

I was too lazy to do it. Seems to hard. he turned 2 on Friday. I'm hoping he just magically stops overnight feeds...:D

It only tends to really agitate me when I'm pre-menstrual, which goes on for days since I got my period back.

It's a bit harder as well because his language is a bit delayed. he understands instructions, but it's a bit hard for more complex reasoning and associations.

[JabberJaw]

I did exactly that with my eldest, after a week or so i went back into the room but had a single bed right up next to our bed, that DD slept in (or me)
Worked fine.

Have tried the same thing with DD3 and have been unsuccessful :rolleyes: she flat out screams her lungs out, until she screams so much she vomits (:devil:), so not worth the misery. She can not be calmed by dad in the middle of the night (although he gets her to bed every night with no fuss when i am at work)

DD, up untill recently, was feeding like a new born through the night. She is 2 yrs 7 months and finally sleeping some nights through. I feed at 10ish and she wakes about 5ish and is fed back to sleep.

You could give it a try. It may work well. :fingerscrossed:

[MsMummy]

At minimum, I should take the cot out of our room (what a joke - he used it for a few weeks and it's been dormant for the rest of the time, although the cat has taken to napping in it...:laughing:) and replace it with a bed.

It's just all too hard. My partner is having a uni-related meltdown at the moment, so maybe when he finishes forever in November.

we're adopting new two kittens (sort of had no choice as some loser dumped them on the inlaws' farm) this week, so the bed will now be very full - two adults, 2yo, and up to 3 cats...

[Bubmum]

I know DD gets on there during the night, but I just don't wake up for it..she has an early morning feed which is quite long...and most of the time we just go back to sleep.

Do they ever give it up? I was hoping to wean by Christmas, but I just don't know if I could ever say No to my baby. Little kitties...we had 2 new ones at the beginning of the year, and a lot of the time we have 3 cats in bed (or in the cot, which I have turned into a toddler bed, just ot shut the family up about DD having her own bed). The kittens were really annoying and waking DD up a lot when they were little, but they have calmed down now.

[MamaBleech]

I'm not at this stage yet but I have read about other Ap'ers having some success with offering water or food in the middle of the night (taking them into the bedroom to avoid getting up) and explaining that boobies wake up with the sun. Or "no boobies until the sun wakes up" (except the night feed prior to bed). :)

[Laksa]

No luck here so far. I've moved him into a single bed, feed him to sleep there... then when he wakes, I hop in with him and try to pat/cuddle but he screams for milk. My first son only weaned coz I was pregnant, and I'm not doing that again!! lol.

My bub is such a daddy's boy IN THE DAY, but totally cracks it if he tries to settle him at night. so frustrating.

But he isn't 2 yet so I'm hoping he will slowly start waking less, my older son didn't 'come good' on the sleeping til after 2...

[Ruminator]

I'm not at this stage yet but I have read about other Ap'ers having some success with offering water or food in the middle of the night (taking them into the bedroom to avoid getting up) and explaining that boobies wake up with the sun. Or "no boobies until the sun wakes up" (except the night feed prior to bed). :)


How's it going MsMummy? Three tips that worked for us, of which two appear above :

1. Offer water and a cuddle first, either you or your partner does it. Followed hopefully by stroking their hair till they get back to sleep. When you have a partner to help, then you could try being out of the room as you suggest, or swap sides of the bed, or better yet pretend to still be asleep.

2. Best explanation I recall from another mum, which we used too "When mama is sleeping, the milk is sleeping too."

3. Judge whether they are ready by the sound of their voice. If they are screaming as if they are frustrated or angry, keep going. If they are screaming as if the world is falling in, then back it off for three months or so and then try again.

Best wishes.

[MsMummy]

I've actually made some progress in the last few weeks.

I've moved him into the neighbouring bedroom, which has a queen bed.

I've implemented more of a routine, in that I lie down with him with a bottle of milk (I know, I know, I was always against topping up, but I hadn't had a full night's sleep in 2 years...) at 8pm-8.30pm and we read books with dim light. Then when he's looking sleepier (his normal magic time of 9pm), I feed him to sleep.

the last two nights, I left him alone in bed after I fed him to sleep to see what happened. The first night he slept from 9pm to 6.30am straight, the second 9pm to 5.30am. he came into our room and I fed him. The first morning he fed back to sleep, but this morning I had to get ready for work, so he stayed up with my partner.

I hate saying this, but I think the extra milk might be helping.:o

I wouldn't mind continuing to sleep next to him all night, but I sort of have to balance it between him and my partner. Unfortunately, it no longer works with us all sleeping together as my son wants half the bed and wakes up more as he can't stretch out.

I do feel a bit anxious leaving him in his room alone, as he has been in arm's reach since birth.

Anyway, sorry long story - but I think we're making progress!:D

[Ruminator]

That sounds like great progress! Nothing wrong with a milk top up by this age. I know what you mean about the bed real estate - we used to dream of the royal beds of old, you know, wide enough for eight adults, with a canopy and all that jazz. We also put ours (twins) into an adjacent double bed for a while which worked very well and they also slept a little better for having the space to stretch, whilst still being close by. I wouldn't be worried about arm's reach, as I think this takes on new meaning as children get older and can make their way confidently to you.