Need a bit of support.

[Nan]

Hi girls. :wave:
I have a BF dillemma and I really need to get it off my chest as I'm feeling under pressure right now.
We have been invited to a wedding and althought it isn't stated on the invitation, my FIL has told us that it is a "no kids" reception. My DD is 9 months old and has been breast fed all her life without ever having taken a bottle. I have tried over the last few months everyday to get her to take water, EBM & juice from different sorts of bottles with different sorts of teats but it is driving me a little nuts as she just won't suck!! She rolls the teat around in her mouth and plays around, but doesn't suck out the contents!!
This wouldn't have bothered me at all as I had planned on weaning her straight to a cup in a few months time, but I'm feeling under pressure from family members to get DD onto a bottle for her last feed in time for the reception. No one has come out and said anything, but I think that because her only other cousin was on a bottle and plenty of hearty solids by this stage everyone is thinking DD is behind and I think that sucks!!
She loves her solids, but they are pureed or semi-pureed as I have tried, crackers, cheese sticks, bread etc and she gags. She's just not ready for that stuff yet.
At this stage, I will need to feed her at the reception or not go at all and I really want to go. I'm too scared to ask if she can come (she really is an angel - no trouble at all with sleeping anywhere on anything!!) and don't want the old "other people can't bring their child" comments.
I've had comments from the in-laws like 'have you tried this or that' & 'who are you going to get to baby sit' etc and it is making me feel pressured into getting DD onto a bottle in the next four weeks. :mad: Why should I have to do this for someone else's wedding? I shouldn't!! :yes:
I guess I just needed to get that out. Does anyone have any advice, words of wisdom or been in a similar situation?
Love,
Nan. xx

[tickle]

My DS was exactly the same. He never took EBM or anything else from a bottle. Please don't feel pressured by your family. You know what's best for you DD, trust your instincts. If you do want her to drink the EBM from a bottle, have you tried having someone else give it to her while you are not there? Otherwise, I would try and arrange some babysitting nearby and feed her in between. I had to do the same thing when my DH had a work function we had to attend. It worked out fine. I can understand you don't want to ask about her coming. Good luck with it all.:hugs:

[Mischief]

I think a 9 month old baby is a bit different to a 3 year old toddler! You should be able to take her along!

No, you are right! You should NOT have to wean her just so you can go to a wedding.

Can you talk to the Bride and Groom and ask them?

Lots of hugs coming your way! :hugs:

Re the solids - You are doing a great thing still BF your bub! She is getting all the best food from you and enjoying her purees!

[damien's mum]

I don't believe you should feel pressured at all, and not by family at the least!
You do whatever you feel is right for you and your daughter, and if other's don't approve, or agree with what you want to do, then they need to be told to mind their own. I understand your dilemma with the wedding, and wish you all the best in making a decision wether you go or not, if it was me, i would not be attending, as how can you change your child for someone else, when you are not ready to do it for yourself.

Goodluck and all the best with it.
Alicia
xx

[Manxie]

Hi Nan

Bit confused. Are you planning on leaving a bottle of expressed milk with someone for the last feed of the day?

MY DD is a real booby girl, never had any milk from any other source than the booby and I think it took her ages just to get the idea that it comes from somewhere else! I went straight from boob to cup and I think DD was younger than yours when I did this so I would try that. Tommee Tippee has a good one which they use the same "stripping" action that they use when breastfeeding. There are a few out there so try them.

To be honest though, DD was great at drinking water and now cows milk from a cup but I have never been able to substitute the last feed of the day for a cup or a bottle for that matter :rolleyes: So purely based on my experience I wouldnt rate your chances.



No one has come out and said anything, but I think that because her only other cousin was on a bottle and plenty of hearty solids by this stage everyone is thinking DD is behind and I think that sucks!! - To deal with this I would just suggest casually that "research shows" that it bubs who go straight from boob to bottle are much more developmentally advanced - you can quote me as an expert if you like LOL!

I had a similar problem to you when the fringe was on. In-laws put lots of pressure on me to go and leave DD with one of them but like you I'd tried unsucessfully to get bubs to have milk from a cup/bottle but it was no go. All the shows co-incided with a feed. In the end we took her with us and she was as good as gold:D

Another option is could someone bring DD to the reception for her feed? Even better can you stay where the reception is and have someone mind her there and you pop out for the feed. Could you and DH take it in shifts? This sucks but at least you both get to spend a bit of time there. Or try asking if you can take her.

Alternatively there is a bottle shaped like a boob that I know some people have had some luck with its available on line, its called a booby bottle heres a link


http://http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/adi/adi42443.html (http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/adi/adi42443.html)


Sorry for my ramblings. Its really hard when bloomin family put the pressure on try and ignore them!

[TwoBlue]

it is making me feel pressured into getting DD onto a bottle in the next four weeks. :mad: Why should I have to do this for someone else's wedding? I shouldn't!! :yes:

Absolutely you should not feel pressured to get her onto a bottle for a wedding !!!

My only suggestion is that you go over your in laws heads and speak to the bride or groom directly and ask them if DD is welcome because she is breastfed.. chances are they wont mind at all... hopefully, if they do then i would decline the wedding reception and just attend the service.

I think its really sad that people are expecting you to have DD on a bottle for ONE occasion....

stand your ground mate !

:hugs:

[Nan]

Thanks, Trace!! Thanks girls!

I might ring the bride's mum today. We actually are guests of the parents as well as the bride and groom. I feel I know her a bit better. Still very nervous, though. I'll let you know how I go.
Love,
Nan. xx

[Funkychicken]

Hi Nan. As the other girls have said, you should never feel pressured to weaN a baby to suit someone else. It is you who would look back at this time and be disappointed in making that choice while everyone else will be going about their lives, without a second thought to you having weaned your bub.
We had to go to a wedding when DS#1 was 11 months and that too was a no kid's affair (I don't actually get this-how are children supposed to learn about weddings when they aren't allowed to attend them! :thumbsdown: ).
Anyway, I took my mum and she kept DS outside in the gardens while the ceremony was being held and then we had a room booked really close to the reception, so I fed DS and put him to bed and went back to the reception, leaving mum with DS. This way I could go back if he needed me but as it turned out, he slept until well after we returned. :thumbsup:

[TwoBlue]

Thanks, Trace!! Thanks girls!

I might ring the bride's mum today. We actually are guests of the parents as well as the bride and groom. I feel I know her a bit better. Still very nervous, though. I'll let you know how I go.
Love,
Nan. xx

Good luck Nan please let us know how you go..
dont be nervous.. surely any REASONABLE person would expect a breastfed baby to attend a wedding reception if the mother is.... :rolleyes:

[Mummabear]

I hate when people don't accept that you're a family and you come as a package deal :mad:.

At my wedding I sent out individual invitations to each and every child so both the parents and the children knew that they were welcomed and wanted.

Speak to the bride and groom, or the parents and see what they say about taking DD. So far you only have secondhand information - it may be more a case of you inlaws don't want her there because they don't want to have to pitch in with looking after her, yet they still want to appear as the doting grandparents. If you are told by the parents or the couple themselves that they don't want your DD there, I personally wouldn't go. DS was bottle fed yet I still declined invitations if he wasn't welcome. We're a package deal - if he's not welcome then as far as I'm concerned neither am I.

[Tea Lady]

When you ring you could always say something like "just wanting to check there will be room for the pram because Eden will need to sleep there after her feed" or something like that!

I agree with Mbear that your inlaws might be completely wrong about the whole thing anyway (it's been known to happen!) and there's a very good chance they're expecting you to bring her anyway.

I went to a few weddings when I was bf and I was always welcome to bring my DD (I used to get my mum to check though because I was too chicken to ring!) - I even fed her during at least one wedding ceremony! You can always leave anyway if for some reason it becomes a problem.

Good luck :)

[Nan]

....... surely any REASONABLE person would expect a breastfed baby to attend a wedding reception if the mother is.... :rolleyes:
Funny you should say that as I can distinctly remember as a 7 yr. old my mum didn't get to go to her OWN BROTHER's reception because it was strictly no children and she was BFing my baby brother at the time. His wife is a cow and wouldn't allow it! Not even her new SIL!!! She is still a bit of a cow IMO!! That's a bit nasty. *slaps hand*

.....Bit confused. Are you planning on leaving a bottle of expressed milk with someone for the last feed of the day?.....
Sorry Manxie - forgot to say that yes, this was the plan!
MB & TL - it could very well be my FIL blowing things out of proportion. He does that sometimes. He's one of these types that if he's not in control of a situation, then no one will be!! :rolleyes:
TL - Thanks for the phoning advice.
Right! Off to ring right now!
Love,
Nan. xx

[TwoBlue]

Funny you should say that as I can distinctly remember as a 7 yr. old my mum didn't get to go to her OWN BROTHER's reception because it was strictly no children and she was BFing my baby brother at the time. His wife is a cow and wouldn't allow it! Not even her new SIL!!! She is still a bit of a cow IMO!! That's a bit nasty. *slaps hand*

Thats rediculous Nan!!! She sounds like a cow to me too

good luck making the call

:fingerscrossed:

[Nan]

Well - all is well that ends well, as they say.
I rang the bride's mum yesterday arvo and asked about a place for the pram etc as we would need to BF Eden. She said that was fine and there was plenty of room!
Darn my gossiping FIL!!!:banghead: I spent all day feeling nervous because of him!
Apparently, the bride told her sister that bringing her nephew wasn't a good idea as she is a bridesmaid and her parents would end up looking after him & not enjoying themselves. Somehow that managed to be translated to no kids, to my FIL! Don't ask me how? :confused:
Anyway, the nephew is coming (bride's mum told me) so it looks like the sister won out!! I was told bringing Eden wouldn't be a problem at all.
Now I just need to hatch a plan to kill my dear old FIL!!!!! :rolleyes: (joking)
I feel like a bit of a dill now. All that fuss for nothing! :( Thanks again for your help & concern everyone. It looks like all 3 of us will be attending this reception after all!
Love,
Nan. xx

[Tea Lady]

:yelclap: Good news Nan!

I hope you have fun at the wedding :)

[Manxie]

:smiliedance: Glad things worked out o.k. Just confirms what I always thought, dont listen to your inlaws :laughing: :laughing:

[TwoBlue]

Thats great news Nan !!

Like i said any Reasonable person would be happy with Eden being there. obviously your inlaws are not so reasonable :o

[rabreud]

Have you thought about getting someone to babysit near by and bringing her to the reception carpark when she needs a feed and you can pop out to the car to feed her? Have your mobile on silent but on vibrate and you'll know when you are needed.

[Funkychicken]

Have a fantastic time at the wedding, Nan!:thumbsup:

[Mischief]

NAN - I'm sooooo glad that you rang and its all OK! :) Now you can kick back and relax and ENJOY yourself at the wedding!

Now....your FIL.... :devil6: LOL