The hardest decision of my life

[Lashed]

Hi ladies, I thought I would share my story.....

Last week I had to have a D & C at almost 17 weeks pregnant as our baby had severe defects due to Trisomy 18.

On my 12 week NT scan I was told by the doctor that everything looked good in regards to not having Downs Syndrome but my bloods were high and she gave me a 1:39 risk of Trisomy 18.

My partner and I decided we would have the amnio. Unfortunately we are from the country so I attended this without my darling partner. We really didn't think we would be so unlucky and had convincede ourselves that everything was going to be OK. My mum did come with me thank goodness.

As soon as I saw my little baby wriggling around I felt calm and relieved but then the bad news started coming.

First of all I noticed my babies feet were quite bad. I could see this clearly on the screen. Then the Dr informed me the babies heart did not look good. The poor little darling had both his main arteries coming out of one side. His other side had not formed properly. I could tell there were other things wrong but the doc didn't share everything. I was then told that everything was pointing to Trisomy 18 :-(.

My partner got on the next plane down and we found out two days later that our baby did have Trisomy 18.

The day we said goodbye to our Angel Baby was absolutely devestating. I had to go to a abortion clinic which was so full that I could not get a seat anywhere. Why was an abortion clinic the only option? Surely hospitals can preform these when there are medical reasons?

I then had to have a tablet inserted onto my cervix to dilate and had to go and sit with 50 odd women in the waiting room for 4 hours for this to occur.

After a while the pain and my emotions were too much so they found me a bed in recovery.

It is so sad to wake up and no longer have that little dream insde of you. I felt so empty and so so sad. We wanted our baby more than anything and it was all gone.

I miss being pregnant and just want to be there so so much.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I also lost a baby at 16 weeks due to triploidy..
It was nearly 3 years ago and I still think about her everyday.
It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and it will stay with us forever.

Wishing you love and strength.

[Mrs Molly Coddle]

I don't jnow what to say but couldn't read and not give you :hugs:
I am so sorry for your loss :(

[mummaof4]

:( so sorry you went through that :(
may your angel rest in peace.

[DaughteroftheForest]

I'm so sorry. I have no words only :hugs:

[ComeBackKid]

:hugs:

So sorry for your lost and your experience.

:hugs:

[angelbubswithwings]

Lashed i am so sorry for your loss and the awful experience you had. I can't believe that you were made to go to an abortion clinic, as you say - surely there is a better way to treat women who are having a medically necessary termination. I found after my very different experiences that writing a letter to the hospital really helped, I wonder if there is someone you can write to to maybe help others not have to go through the same experience?

Although my d and c procedures were earlier at 12 weeks I truly found them to be the most traumatic experience in my life. I hope that you give yourself time to heal and i know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but time does heal and fortunately we are forced to get on with our lives - otherwise i would be a mess
xxxxx
Lisa

[The Girls Only Club]

:hugs: Sorry for your loss

[Little-Pink-Hen]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I'm so sorry for your loss

[MummyHas3boys]

Im so sorry :hugs::hugs: RIP little angel

[headoverfeet]

I'm sorry for you loss :hugs: Your signature breaks my heart :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[trifecta]

Lashed, I really wanted to send you a post but didn't think the Feb Mummies was the right place. I think we were due about the same day.
I also came back as a high risk to Trisomy 18 and had an amnio to check. Not many people have heard of Edwards syndrome and it was a huge shock to think our beautiful growing baby might not make it. Everyone seams to concentrate on Downs, and is then given the choice to termintate, with Trisomy 18, there is no choice.
Thankfully we were one of the lucky ones and found out all is o.k, but my heart truely goes out to you and your partner and that beautiful angel of yours.
We only had a few weeks of termoil and the emotions of what if, but you have had to live it. I'm so sorry, and I almost feel guilty that my baby is o.k and your precious one didn't make it.
We also just moved from a small town. Take care of yoursef, you are a strong woman.
RIP little soul. xx

[Lashed]

Lashed, I really wanted to send you a post but didn't think the Feb Mummies was the right place. I think we were due about the same day.
I also came back as a high risk to Trisomy 18 and had an amnio to check. Not many people have heard of Edwards syndrome and it was a huge shock to think our beautiful growing baby might not make it. Everyone seams to concentrate on Downs, and is then given the choice to termintate, with Trisomy 18, there is no choice.
Thankfully we were one of the lucky ones and found out all is o.k, but my heart truely goes out to you and your partner and that beautiful angel of yours.
We only had a few weeks of termoil and the emotions of what if, but you have had to live it. I'm so sorry, and I almost feel guilty that my baby is o.k and your precious one didn't make it.
We also just moved from a small town. Take care of yoursef, you are a strong woman.
RIP little soul. xx

Thank you hon. Don't you feel guilty! I'm happy for you that you have a healthy little baby. I will also have my baby one day xx

[StormAngel]

I am so sorry for your loss hun, xoxxo

I didnt think they could do a d&c at that stage??

[Missywants1more]

Oh sweetie... :( my heart goes out to you. I am so so sorry for your loss. You will be missed in the Feb thread :hugs: :hugs:

You sound like a really strong person and I admire that. I hope as soon as you and DP are ready that it won't take long before you have your much wanted bub :hugs:

[Lashed]

I am so sorry for your loss hun, xoxxo

I didnt think they could do a d&c at that stage??

Maybe it's not called a D & C? I had to have a termination. I assumed it was a D & C

[AJGirl08]

God my heart is breaking for you! :hugs::hugs:
I can only imagine how utterly terrible it must have been sitting in that waiting room. You are very brave to share your story while the memory and pain are so raw, I do hope it helps in some small way.

[meatpopsicle]

Such a sad and terrible thing to go through. I'm so glad you posted your story here. It brought me to tears!

If there's any justice in the world you'll be joining another due date group very, very soon. I'm sure you and your partner will make the most wonderful parents.

A million :hugs:

[TrulyBlessed]

Just wanted to come in here & offer you so many :kiss: & :hugs: babe.

I've been in your shoes & its almost been a year since we said goodbye. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about my little J. The pain does ease not completely but the days do become more bearable to get through.

I have a loss journal if you want to go have a read. Might help realise you aren't alone in how you're feeling.

Here if you need someone to talk too oxox

[alternatemum]

Lashed, I am so sorry for your loss. It was one of the hardest decisions that you and your partner could have made.

I am appaulled that they made you go to an abortion clinic and the whole procedure.

Wishing you and your partner all the luck to go on and have your very much loved and wanted healthy bundle of joy!

[spooky]

:hugs:so sorry for the loss of ur bubba, may ur bub rip xox

[butterflyknot]

Hi ladies, I thought I would share my story.....

Last week I had to have a D & C at almost 17 weeks pregnant as our baby had severe defects due to Trisomy 18.

The day we said goodbye to our Angel Baby was absolutely devastating. I had to go to a abortion clinic which was so full that I could not get a seat anywhere. Why was an abortion clinic the only option? Surely hospitals can preform these when there are medical reasons?



Massive hugs Lashed. :-( my best friend had a Angel Baby last March due to Trisomy 18, she was 16 weeks. I was her birth partner, she went through the local hospital like any other birth, they gave her a private room and she got to keep her daughter with her for 48 hours before she had to say goodbye. The doctors and midwives treated her with so much respect, they even provided a outfit for her daughter to wear and for her to keep afterwards.

I can't get over that they did not offer the same where you are.

[MamaC]

Lashed, I'm so so sorry for you loss :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Claire89x]

I am so sorry :-(
sorry means nothing though :-(
its awful but your darling was just too precious for the earth <3 x x

[waterlily]

:hugs: I'm so sorry Hun.

[Mymiraclemouse]

Lashed I am so sorry for your loss. We had a baby girl with Edwards Syndrome - Tri 18 and it was the most difficult decision of our lives to send our baby to heaven. What might help you to know that really helped me was to hear the words "Tri 18 is a condition not compatible with human life" the life expectancy is 1:3000 in the first 24hrs. Just think, sometimes mother nature gets the recipe wrong.

At the time I was so fearful I would never be able to conceive a well child, but I have a very healthy girl who is 13mths old and I wish for you a healthy bubba soon too.

Lots of love. I hope it gets easier for you xxx :hugs:

[mummy2tbl]

wow what a sad sorry im so sorry for your loss big big hugs for u and your partner i can't beleive u had to go to a clinic thats so horrible my heart goes out to you