Freebirth and Toddlers...

[mummykitty]

:wave:
so i was wondering if any of you had included tollder/s in your freebirth plans? and if you had how it went?

i am toying with the idea of having older children present at my next birth which looks like it may well be a freebirth so was just wanting an idea of how it went for others who included siblings and how you prepared them for such a special event?

[NonnyMouse]

I'm not a freebirther, but for my recent homebirth I had my 15 month old toddler there.

He handled it well, was absolutely FULL of really amazing energy (sort of hyped up, but without the annoyance factor), and only started to get a bit ratty because he missed his nap, but he wouldn't be separated from me and it really wasn't bothering me so I told DP and our midwife to let him stay in the room with me and he was fine after that.

At one point he was crooning with me in time with my contractions!

As soon as bubs was born and he got to meet her he was happily was led to his room and was fast asleep within minutes.

[traseal]

i will let you know hopefully by the end of next month.
We have been watching you tube and vidoes of birth and just explaing what is happening. Not sure how much he graps as his only just turned 2. Also there is an awesome book called "hello baby" about a homebirth. Have been reading him this also.

[Blairysmum]

I am not a free birther!
I had dd at a birth center and my 2 year and 9 month old sister was present, she loved it!! She was so excited to see the baby come out in my birth video she is sitting right there watching dd come out! I was quite vocal and she wasn't scared at all!!

[AM]

I had my 3 year old at my freebirth as well as my 5 year old, they were support for eachother, but my dad was there as well as my then partner, and I had my doula for support, and it all went very well. I had been talking to them a lot about birth, reading "Hello baby" and they knew my doula well, and we watched videos of birth etc, they were really relaxed and excited really.

I think the fact that they are still in the family home with familiar people around who are laid back helps hugely.

All the best :)

[kymmy]

With J, labour didn't really start til Av (almost 3 at the time) closed his eyes. Its exactly how I wanted it - all my kids asleep.
I am unsure how J would go if he saw the baby being born but personally I would prefer no one else but hubby nearby. I have to realise it may be a possibility so its something I have to plan for, not necessarily something that I think would be negative for my children to witness. I think my older children would love it but J not so sure. Av had a real interest in watching birth videos with me but J does not. I guess it would depend on the child.

[headoverfeet]

I didn't freebirth for DS2 (wanted too though) my mother was his support person. Worst decision ever for me and I won't make the same mistake twice. I did enjoy seeing him through out it and it was another reason i chose to homebirth but i really feel like i had way to many spectators. This time hubby and I will be free birth alone :yes: it's such a personal thing though, go with your guts at the time and have a backup plan if needed.

[headoverfeet]

Sorry, I didn't really prepare DS1, I don't think you can prepare a 14mth old too much! I played birthing videos which he heard and saw but tbh my birthing never phased him, he wasn't the least bit interested lol, just happy to potter around doing his thing.

[kymmy]

Just having a think about it. I don't think my labour will progress if my kids are around. Its such a personal decision.

[HG98]

My eldest daughter has been at two of my homebirths, I found her a great comfort during the labour. Bit more annoying afterwards though when she was demanding I read her a book to get her back to sleep while I was struggling to birth a retained placenta! I think children and homebirths mix well.

[4intheBed]

I recently had a hospital water birth with a 2 year old present, she understood what was happening, new to be quiet when she left the room as mummys and babies were sleeping. She knew I would make noises, but I was not in pain just working hard. I loved having her part of it, it gave me strength. She talks fondly of the day and has bonded beautifully with her sister. I made sure there was a bag of new toys all wrapped that she wss slwly given if she started to play up, she didnt need it though. It was something I would do again.

[4intheBed]

Sorry my point above was if it can work in a hospital, it can work anywhere. Aswell you wouldn't be considering this if you had an unruley toddler, you know your child and what they can handle. I played the YouTube videos too, she enjoyed them. Now she has accepted that birth is normal, not some mystery like it was for me.
I wish you the best!

[kymmy]

Choice was taken from me when I ended up labouring with all 4 children in the house and my husband at work. My daughter and my 2.5yo at the time, were in the room when my youngest was born. Not what I would have chosen but that is what happened and the kids are very close to their baby brother and its a great memory for them.