anyone else feel horrible

[squish09]

so there is a girls in ds's day care who is turning 1 2morrow and she is bringing in cupcakes for the class.... but ds cant eat it! he has cows milk allergy so cant have the milk/butter blah blah but i just feel horrible that he is going to miss out on the cake while everybody else is eating some.

Its the 1st time i have had to deal with this ds is almost 8 months so i no there will be more of these feeling to come.

I was going to make him his own special cake 2morrow but i didnt finish work until 8 2nite and i dont have a beater atm so i couldnt make it :( in future i will try to make him his own special things but birthday cakes at daycare/school... i am not going to no when they are having a birthday. the only reason i no this time is because the other mum was there when i was there and she said something to the carer.

I just feel absolutley HORRIBLE for him!!! how do you all get over this horrible feeling? if i didnt have to work i dont think i would even send him so he didnt have to miss out. this is really getting to me!

[youngmumof3wa]

sadly they get used to it.

My daughter is the same, can't have milk.

Sooo things we do to make it bearable. We have special dairy free chocolates that we can give her instead of cakes etc at birthdays.

Special foods like this I save for only these times or else they are not as special.

They are like tim tams but dairy free.

I make my own cupcakes and frezze when I know there is a few birthdays coming up close together.

When my little one was in childcare, I even made my own easter eggs for her, so she was not left out :laughing: took all night, but it was worth it to see her face.

[Tweak]

My boys have ceoliacs abd that's the one thing that made me upset the whole they will be freaks in class when there's a birthday


My wonderful daycare took it upon themselves to learn all about the disease after they were so sick and offered to make a stash of gluten free cakes for the boys so whenever there's a birthday they have something for them

your bubby will soon understand why they can't eat certain things and will start to care less and less

maybe ask the teachers for a list of birthdays and or bake a bunch of cupcakes or whatever you fancy and get them to freeze them so there is so
ething always there?

[peanutbutter&jelly]

I keep stuff on hand :) But yeah, if I haven't planned ahead, I do feel bad a little.
He's at an age now (even at 2 1/2) that if I remind him that its yucky and will make him feel yucky, he doesn't mind too much though :)

[mummykitty]

sadly they get used to it.. our kindy does cooking in their classes too which really doesnt help.. there was a sub teacher on one day who didnt know and saw DS without a sausage roll (he is gluten free dairy free) and made a point of going to get him one so he would be included... the rash was so not fun :( im still not sure how best to handle it all honestly as frustrating as im sure it would be i dont think parents should bring anything in without notifying other parents unless they are willing to make it allergy free.. my sons birthday party we invited a little girl who has milk, nuts, egg, gluten and yellow dye allergies and so ALL of the party food had to conform to her dietry requirements.. i understand wanting to celebrate your special day but really if you cant include everyone keep it at home..

* the girl was anaphalactic reaction to above listed allergies so it was either all the foods conform or risk having to put my SFA cert to the test..

can you maybe request a list as someone suggested? if you dont have names then it shouldnt interfere with confidentiality at all.. all you need is dates to be aware of.. otherwise maybe request that your little one have a special activity with a carer so he is seperate and doesnt even notice? would work while he is younger atleast :) allergies suck :( heres hoping kidlets grow out of it soon xo

[Areca]

At DD's daycare they used to make the cakes so everyone got it allergy friendly...now they don't do edible birthday cakes.
At 8 months he'll be fine, honest. There'll possibly be other babies who's parents have said 'no cake' (I would) so he won't necessarily be the only one. I also found it took DD to be 2 before she got upset...just after her 2nd birthday actually. She's 4 1/2 now and she's fine with not getting the actual burthday cake....we ALWAYS have a substitute though.

[neeky]

i know it wont help this time, but for future reference. At work last year we had several allergies (egg) and a gluten free. We suggested to the parents of those children that they could perhaps make some cupcakes that their child could eat. wrap them, name them and we kept them in the staff room freezer so that anytime there was a birthday cake we had the cakes there and could just take it out in the morning. Then we just let them know when the stash got low.
Maybe you could ask your day care if they could do the same for you if they have a freezer?

[TripleTime]

Seriously, they get used to it.

I know i have, im now 22 & cant have dairy without being physically sick for days after. It gets to the point that you dont care that your missing out anymore cause youd rather miss out than be sick for days on end.

[Sheer Bliss]

Not the same, but DS is on the failsafe diet, and when other kids bring in cakes with artificial colours etc in in - he isn't allowed to have it. He is 3yrs 4months and asks the teachers if that cake has numbers - he is more than happy not to have it then, as he understands how it makes him feel. It was my nephews birthday on the weekend and all the family had chocolate mudcake while he ate a snack box of smarties - he was fine with it.

One thing my daycare suggested that will mean you don't have to know when the birthdays are - is to make a batch and send 3-4 into daycare and they can freeze them. Then when someone brings cake in - they said they will defrost it and he can still have cake. If you made sure you put it in a sealed container so it can't get contaminated - would that work?

[JabberJaw]

Dont worry to much i am sure your bub isnt the only one not eating cake.

If my DD was attending and she was only 8 months old i wouldn't allow her to eat the cake anyhow. Allergy or no allergy.

My DD has lactose problems also, they often made cakes and things with milk on baking days at day care, but they always had something else for her (jelly etc) she was happy to be involved in the cooking and to miss out on cake as she (like TripleTime and also myself) know the pain after eating it is not worth it.

[smileygirl]

there are ways to make sure they do not miss out.

* keep a box of treats at daycare/school for them (with things that keep well) so that if there is surprise cake then your child does not miss out

* keep some cake in the freezer that he can have and the staff can get out for them

they get used to not having the same as others but i have always told E that he is getting a special treat and he loves that. He sees the other kids not always liking the things bought in...but he knows he loves having his choice from his treat box!

[quitecontrary]

The policy at my dd's preschool is no cake ever - there is one child with severe allergies so they're not allowed to bring in any food that may have been anywhere near nuts. Apparently they do have jelly snakes on birthdays sometimes, but no cakes. They do the cake and candles with a wooden cake apparently!