How much should we push?

[Ambermac]

Hi, I have 3 daughters, nearly 6, just 9 and a 12 year old.:kiss: Of course they are all angels:laughing: the eldest is a beautiful swimmer and the other 2 were happy to follow where their sister went but now miss 12 has given up swimming altogether! Her coach says she could go far.
How do you get kids back on track? Is this another phase and she'll want to try something different?
How do you know when to push and say "that's it, your going back to swimming" or say fairs fair and another interest has passed.
Help!:confused:

[shed]

A little bit of pushing doesn't hurt too much at that age. I did dancing and wanted to quit and mum pushed a bit so I kept going, then I got a bit older and really wanted to quit and she pushed but I wouldnt have a bar of it and I quit.

I don't resent that she pushed though. Not at all. She did it for me not for herself and when I really wanted to quit I did. You can't physically force a kid into the pool and move her arms and legs for her, so you'll know if its not working.

[SassyMummy]

I would probably push a little bit.

Make a deal with her - tell her she can finish in 3 months (or another amount of time) if she still wants to quit...and see how it goes. She may want to quit as a spur-of-the-moment thing.

I also think that, just because people are good at certain things, doesn't mean they particularly enjoy it or want to persue a career in that particular field. My parents pushed me into all sorts of art classes and such because I was good at it. The thing is, I just enjoyed it leisurely, whenever I felt hte urge. I didn't like having to do it...it took the fun right out of it!

Also remember that it's important that kids try different things. Maybe she'll try dancing, soccer, singing lessons...etc etc... She'll never know what she enjoys most until she's tried a range of things. Perhaps she's just ready to move on and attempt something else.

I do imagine that swimming would be quite monotonous...the only challenge being to better your records...

[Funkychicken]

She may just need a bit of a break-time to explore what else is out there. You could make a kind of deal with her. Something like, You can take 6 months off and return to swimming then. Try a 'discussion' approach rather then a "Do it" approach and that way she will have some input too. My DH swam at state level until he was 12 and his dad died. He stopped completely after that because it was his dad who always pushed him.