So depressed

[maddysmama]

I am going back to work full time in two weeks and I'm just not handling it very well. I'm just not ready to leave my baby. We don't have any family nearby, so it has just been the three of us, she has only been looked after by someone else a couple of times when she was younger.

Today was her first day at day care and I had her there this morning for a couple of hours. Well she was fine when I left...happy playing on the floor. When I returned to pick her up a couple of hours later, I could hear her crying from the carpark:crying: The carer said she'd been crying for the past hour...I could see they were trying to calm her down, but she was not responding. I felt so guilty and cried all the way home.

Is this normal for a baby settling in to daycare? I have heard numerous stories of kids crying when their parents are leaving and playing happily a half hour later, but not the other way around.

I just can't shake this depression which I've felt since learning I had a daycare place 3 weeks ago. I'm afraid of losing the bond I have with my baby with the extended periods I will be away from her. I really feel like I'm grieving and I feel incredibly embarrassed for feeling this way, I am certainly not the first mum to go back to work:o I thought I'd be itching to go back to work once my maternity leave was up.

Anyway, thanks for the vent and sorry if I rambled. Please can anyone tell me this gets easier and that I'm not the only person to feel like this?

[Fitmumma]

Hi Maddysmama,
I really dont have any advice for you, I am lucky enough to be a SAHM, but I know if I was in your situation I would be as heartbroken & torn as you are, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, these are your feelings.
I just wanted to send you & your little DD some :hugs: & good wishes & I hope things get easier for you both:)

[bigglet]

Big :hugs: to you....

It will get easier. I cried when I had to go back to work and when I put my baby in daycare. I found the first week extremely hard - people at work didn't seem to understand the separation I felt and I would feel very depressed and sad and even cried at my desk. :crying:

I have come to pick up my baby and she's been crying - I could hear her from the carpark as well! Does your little one have a favorite toy that she could take to daycare?
My little one settled in after 1-2 weeks in daycare but those weeks were the hardest. It is normal for anyone to settle into daycare be them being a baby or child. They just have to get used to the carers and once they do and are familiar with them it does get easier......

All the best..... :hugs:

[mum2nearly3]

Trust me it gets easier. The hardest part is the leaving. As long as you are happy with the centre your daughter is in, it will all be ok. I cried for weeks everyday when I left my daughter at 12mths for the first time to go back to work. :gloomy: I was the same this year when I took my son for the first time. Every time he went he cried from when I left him to when I picked him up (then I got the silent treatment from him) I changed centres and he was as good as gold.

Kids are like big people, we all have crappy days and sometimes don't feel like going to work/school etc but we get over it.
Make sure you have some quality time with her of an arvo doing things you know she loves and don't rush it with baths and bedtime etc.

It will get easier...just hang in there. It won't be long till you are thinking I might do the groceries on the way home then pick her up. :smiliedance:

[Hokey Pokey]

I know exactly how you feel. I had Bella in day care few weeks ago and it only lasted a few weeks, she was in hysterics so much they suggested me to take her out. My first was not at all like this so it was so hard for me to deal with. It made me feel like the worst mother on earth.
Just see how she goes, did you get to slowely ease her into care or did she start all at once (like my daughter did which is what I think contributed to her behaviour etc)

[maddysmama]

Thanks ladies for your support :hugs:

I don't start work for another two weeks so I am able to ease her into it this week and next. I put her in for two hours yesterday and two hours today, and I'll do this for a few more days and gradually increase.

Today they said she was alot better, and when I went to pick her up she was thankfully not crying (till she saw me:rolleyes: ). So I feel a bit better today. Tommorrow I am going to get my first haircut in 6 months so I guess there's light at the end of the tunnel!