Crying at Childcare

[LDL2508]

Hi Everyone,

I need some advice or help.

My son almost 12 months began childcare 4 weeks ago as I returned to part time work Mon through to Wed. The first the 3 weeks seemed very well and he enjoyed going to childcare. But last week and again this morning he has started to cry as I leave him with of the carers. I usually call them to find out if he is ok when I arrive at work (approx 30mins later) and they advise me that he is now “happy as Larry”. But I found it hard and feel like a bad mother. Has anyone experienced the same thing and how have they handled it?

Thanks

LDL’s mum

[rynosmum]

Yes, yes, YES!

We are going through the same thing right now. My DS has been going to daycare for 3 short stay days per week (4 - 6 hours) since he was 5 months old (he is now 26 months). He has always loved it but just in the past couple of weeks, he has started crying when I leave and reaching out for me. I call them about 10 minutes later and can hear him laughing and playing in the background.

It still doesn't make it any easier though. Many many :hugs: for you.

[Chickadee]

Welcome to the wonderful world of parental guilt ;) We go through stages of this and are in the middle of one too. A fellow mum once told me she physically broke out in sweat (anxiety) at drop off time when her daughter would cry for her :(

There is a bit of trial and error involved but you can try some things to make the drop off time easier on you both. A fellow member told me that when she pulls up at daycare with her DD they have a big cheer "yay! School!" to get her excited about it before actually walking in the door. We've tried this with some success. Even at 12 months, your son will catch your enthusiasm and understand when you talk to him about what a great day he's going to have.

Most parents do a quick drop off and that's what most carers recommend: a minimum of fuss. I've found the exact opposite works best for us and I spend up to 15 minutes with her at daycare at drop off time, helping her settle in, though usually it's less.

A favorite toy or comfort item for him to keep there might help. Our carers asked us to bring in family photos, which were laminated & put on the wall, but on occassion my DD gets hers down and has even been known to nap with it in her hand.

It's never easy though :(

[Mariposa]

this too happened with dd1, when she started at the age of 3, first week was fantastic but the next week it all went out the window, and unfortunately for me, this carried on for the next 6mths with her crying when i was leaving, but i used to phone all the time (they prolly got sick of me!) only to hear that she was happy.
although i have to also add, that dd1 was a very clingy child.

however with dd2, i was more upset than she was, a couple of times she has been upset, this was because, the teachers she knew had left or moved to another room, and we had an episode a couple of weeks ago, but this was because she wanted to come her with mummy and the new baby. it is just a phase that they go thru, although its a very heartbreaking phase. then they have such a great day that they dont even want to come home:yes:

good luck, it will eventually get better:hugs:

[jessgray]

my ds1 has been going to daycare since he was 9.5months and is now 15 months and he loves it but he does have his days were he wants me to stay or he clings to my leg and doesnt want to let go lol he will cry on these days but once i get round the corner to walk past the playground aera (its near the frount of the building) he is happy as larry and has forgotten that he was even crying.

if you are really worried about the crying, ask the staff in the room to call you if your child gets really distressed and stuff. and then you can deicde i you want to organise for someone to pick them up or you come get them.

[suemp]

my son would cry every time i left him in daycare for well over a yr. now he's nearly 5 and still cries at pre school. they are little buggers. they know it pulls at our heartstrings and gets the attention the desire. i find it best , including his carers to go about putting his stuff away than leaving with a quick kiss and make sure you tell them you will be back. by the time i get to the front of the day care my sons pewrformance had ended

[SamanthaJane]

Sounds to me like delayed separation anxiety :detective:

Calling in to check on him is a great idea, gives you peace of mind and means your up to date with how he is going.

If your not already doing so, i recommend spending time with your son when he gets to the centre, so dont just "rush of". Start an activity with him (perhaps looking at a book, or playing with stacking cups... whatever he likes to do) this will help settle him into the situation. This gives him a chance to settle in with you by his side, so he'll feel much happier and trusting of the carers.

Its normal and healthy behaviour, especially for his age group, as this is when the separation anxiety peaks. His building his sense of trust and belonging and almost every child will go through these exact feelings when beginning care :yes:

Please don't feel guilty or feel as though you are a bad mother! Your doing a great job! It's hard to start off with but soon he will be settled and love spending the day interacting with other children :hugs: