I don't deserve that! (sorry its a bit long!)

[BlueEyedGirl]

What did I do to deserve to be treated like sh** from the EX and his new bird??

For the last 5 months or so, I've had NO contact from him, nothing.
Then at the beginning of the week, I got a text from an unknown number asking about her- I didn't know the number and was a bit concerned, so sent a text asking how it was and he replied "its **** who else would it be??" He went on to ask about her, and I rang him so he could listen to her, but when he answered he said that his g/f was asleep, and he had to be quick on the phone, it was like he was doing it behind her back??:confused: Before we hung up, he said that he would be in contact. (yeah right!)

Anyway, today, I gave him the benefit of the doubt (big mistake) and texted him asking if he wanted to see DD, he is after all, her dad. The phone he used to text me was his g/f's, and I got a text from her saying that "He'd love to see her but that would mean seeing you at the same time. And he doesn't want to see you. He hates you with a passion. So F**** off" I went on to say to him that I can't believe that he is willing to give up a relationship with DD, and he said that I was pushing him away (what the??) and that if I'd done what he asked me to do in the first place we wouldn't be in this situation (have no idea what he meant as he didn't reply). His g/f then sent me a text saying "Yes you are pushing him away. But not to worry he is about to have a son in 4 months" So I replied to her "So what? Are you trying to replace Isabelle? Sounds to me like your the one pushing for him to not have a relationship with her. Don't you realise that because of you he is missing out??" :ecomcity:

He is the kind of person that wants to please whoever he is with... when we broke up, he went back to live with his mum for a bit, and instead of doing what he thought he should do in regards to DD and myself, he did what his mum thought he should do, same as he is doing now, the new g/f doesn't want him to have anything to do with DD. An 'ex-friend' of his g/f got in contact with me through a mutual friend and told me that apparently the g/f was worried that he would come back to me to be with DD.

How can he just forget about her?? What did she ever do to him??

I can't really talk to my family about this, as they all hate him... and I don't want to go down that road again.

I just needed to get it out there... thanks for reading it, sorry if it makes no sense, its late and I've got everythig swimming around in my head!

[Mum2Bug]

:hugs: for you both! You are right, you dont deserve it at all! It sounds to me like he has a lot of growing up to do and i hope he does it soon otherwise he is going to be missing out on watching your darling little girl grow up!

[Niki]

:hugs: how rude is that of his gf, i know if my df had a child to some1 else i wouldnt stop him for keeping in contact and being a 'dad'! it sounds like such a hard situation for you, your ex sounds very immature

[BlueEyedGirl]

Thanks guys, it means a lot!

Another question for you all:)

The EX's mother hasn't seen/meet DD, and I feel like she has been fed a whole lot of b***s*** about me from him and the new g/f.
Should I make the effort and get in contact with her and organise for her to meet DD??
DD is her first grandchild, and I don't think she should miss out. I just don't think that I am going to get too warm of a reception from her, and I don't want to put myself or DD through anymore c***

[2 Cherubs]

Awww ...Doesnt sound like a very nice situation at all....Poor Isabelle and you! ... Well if you ask me he will regret it one day, Not being there for his little girl and he will never be able to replace lost time ! SO his loss I say..But as you said ..Poor Isabelle she hasnt done anything apart from being beautiful and doesnt deserve not too have her daddy around!
As with the MIL...maybe call her and ask if she would like to meet Isabelle...Give her the option...
Stand up for what you think is right for your daughter, You are doing a great job! I couldnt imagine how hard it could be being a single mum...
Well Done
Good Luck :hugs:

[~EmsMum~]

you most certainally don't need to be treated like that, i cant believe his new woman said what she said how RUDE. big hugs comming your way :hugs: :hugs:

[rynosmum]

I've never been in your situation so I can't give you 'qualified' advice. I am a mother though and can give you my thoughts on how I expect that I would react in the same situation iykwim.

You sounds like a lovely proud mummy who not only wants the best for her little girl but for those around her too (your ex and his mother). Although we are taught from very young that apparently we are meant to have two loving parents - a mother and a father who love us dearly, this is no longer the reality. Personally, I would cut all ties with your ex and his mother. If they can't see the value in a positive and loving relationship with your daughter, then it will only lead to hurt in your daughter's eyes when she is older and there is still squabbling amongst them.

You deserve better and so does your beautiful daughter. To me, having no father would be a better option than one who only spent time with my child because they felt that they had to.

I hope it all works out for you both :hugs:

[nikkiiandriley]

:)Isabel's Mum, I would contact the x mother ask her to meet on mutual ground, If she starts arguing, just say I thought it would be nice for isabele to meet her family, that is what is important. Aurguing doesn't have to come into it.

My dh has 3 children to xw. when they split she gladly handed over oldest boy as they did not get on . now they get on well, the next boy is coming in september to live ( she is not happy about that).

I have asked hubby to invite her up to see boys off to school when he starts high school next year. he won't have her stay in the house, which is fine, but I think it is important for kids to see parents being able to talk in same room. (she lives in vic, we live qld)

You are doing the right thing for offering x'es side to know your daughter, but lay down the ground rules first, therefore it can't come back on you and hopefully it will be pleasant visits. don't leave her with them until you are comfortable with it.

But you never know you might end up having a good relationship with the mother???:fingerscrossed:

[ashleerose]

I know exactly how you feel (youll find posts about what i have gone through throughout this forum).

My ex has had another child in May this year with the 'thing' he got with a week after i left him.

He fought me through family law courts and all to have the kids but then gave up (and although it was his choice i do believe that the 'thing' had a part in this decision).

I was receiving texts from him and her at one stage and it did get interesting.

Now i have no contact with him at all (his choice).

His family have given up on the kids (as they now have another grandchild and i shouldnt be surprised as this is his fourth child to three different women and as i was the second with two kids i should have known better).

Every day i think to myself how can he live with himself knowing that he is a dead beat dad, how does he not know that the kids are okay, does he really think i am going to bother contacting his family if anything goes wrong NOPE...

So now i have cut all ties as they have to my kids.

In future he can explain his actions to them.

One thing is for sure ill make sure when they are old enough that they know the full story.

Good luck.

[Chanelc]

You don't deserve it!
I think his new g/f is insecure and jealous and in the end the truth will come out and your ex wil see what she has done as he will realise he has missed out on Isabella.
All you can do is tell him if he wants contact you are prepare to allow him to see Isabella if he chooses not to - he is the one that will have to explain to her when she is older and asks him why he never saw her. Maybe put it "it is your choice do you want contact with Isabella? what role model do you want to be to her?" and accept his answer (keep it saved as down the track you have evidence of his decision)
As for the ex's mum - hard one - you can contact her and ask her if she like to met her grand child but be prepared if she wants nothing to do with your daughter - as she may be tainted by what they say.
As long as you remember you gave them - your ex and his mum the choice it is their decision and they will be the ones that live with their decision you can only offer and do the right thing and at least Isabella will know her mum tried.

[BlueEyedGirl]

Thanks everyone for your support, it is very much appreciated! :kiss:

I rang his mum today, and left a message on her answering machine, so the ball is in her court as to whether or not she wants to see Isabelle.

Rynosmum~ Even though single parent families are very common, I suppose I just was not prepared for it, and it took me a bit to get used to, and then once I am plodding along, he rips through like a destructive tornadeo. If he really wants to see her, I wish he would be a man about it, instead of playing with my head!

Up until he got in contact with me last week, I have had nothing from him for over 5 months. I was going really well, but then when he got in contact with me, it kinda threw me a bit. I was thinking maybe he had grown-up and was finally taking responsiblity, but no, he was just playing silly buggas!

I had a good long talk to my SIL, and am back on track.

Chanelc~ I think the same thing about his new g/f, and as my SIL said "he will probably keep going down the same track... promising the world to everyone and leaving a trail of babies behind him. And when it happens to the g/f, she'll get a taste of her own medicine!"

ATD-FAH~ Its a great suggestion, but I don't think it will work. We no longer have any mutual friends/family. And if he really wanted to see her, he would have kept in contact for the last 5 months! But thanks for the suggestion:thumbsup:

Ashleerose~ I have already written a letter to Isabelle explaining everything to her, and have kept altering it to add everything that has happened since her birth. I want her to know that I was just doing what I think is right for her.

nikkiandreily~ His mum didn't think too highly of me when I was with him (apparently his family all thought I was a "snotty rich nose b****) so I'm not holding my breath on having a good relationship with her!

Thanks once again guys! You have all been great:thumbsup: