How do people cope with a newborn and a 2yr old??!??!?!?!

[redbaby]

Just wanting to know whether there are any tricks/ hints/ tips,...ANYTHING!!!! Jasper is 1 week old and Scarlett turned 2 last week,....and I am exhausted,. It seems that whenever one is sleeping, the other is going out of their way to make as much noise as possible! And Scarlett is tantruming like no tomorrow,.... DH goes back to work tomorrow,...and I am dreading it,.... how do I stop Scarlett from tearing our house apart when I am feeding Jasper,....etc?!?!??! HELP!!! Any suggestions on getting through the next couple of months would be brill!!!

[FourAngelKisses]

If you can, try and get them to have naps at the same time. I had my kids 15mths apart and I think one of the secrets to my success was that they did things at the same time. Sleep, eat, butt changes, baths......all at the same time. I was getting 4hrs or more to myself each day and it was well needed.
Maybe try and get your 2yr old to bed at the same time as your newborn (congrats on the birth BTW) and see how she goes.

Good luck!!

[DQ]

I invested in a playpen and filled it with toys. You can put Scarlett in there to play while you sit down and feed bubba. That way you can watch Scarlett play with her toys and interact with her at the same time.!!!

[M O P]

No suggestions from me J&S but,

:smiliedance: Congratulations on the birth of your son Jasper.

Had been thinking hadn't seen you around for a while- that's why!

[heymamma]

The nap at the same time is a good idea....But you could also try when Jasper is sleeping play with scarlett...that way she is happy playing with you & not making to much noise.

[spiritedfamily]

it is very tricky...it takes a couple of weeks for the baby and the toddlers' routine to become insinc...but eventually it settles..the toddler is likely to be feeling the change. I found the more involved the toddler is in the routine...then the happier they are as toddlers respond to routine well..they thrive on it...but it does take a little time to adjust and it depends on their personality's as to how well they adjust. Once dad goes to work, it will trigger some things are back to normal...toddler will follow normality...eventually.

[AM]

Alot of empathy to you, no advice, I've just been thru it, and only just skated thru by the seat of my pants, but I assure you, it DOES get so much easier when your 2 year old settles in to the fact that there is a new baby around, and gets used to the new routine.
Hugs, I know just how incredibly hard it is, I used to chant the old "This too shall pass" without ever believing it, but it did!

My best strategy was to get out of the house as much as poss, anywhere to keep my 2 year old entertained, shopping, playgroups, playgrounds, visiting friends.
It was exhausting, but really helped.
Can you arrange to have a snack set out for when you bf?
Or have a few special toys which are only bought out during bf?
One woman I spoke to used to have a basket of wee toys, snacks etc wrapped in cellophane for the toddler to undo, she musta been one organised lady, I never had the energy to do that!
reading a book to my toddler used to work sometimes, I could NEVER get them asleep together.

Hope it gets a bit easier for you SOON!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[mumof2monstas]

Trying to get them to be insink with each other is great but it dosent always happen! Your 2 year old will get used to a different routine but she still needs to have time with just you so that she dosent feel left out so something special like with my daughter i draw pictures with her while DS is asleep or bake cookies she loves it or she loves music so i turn on the stereo and we dance and go crazy! Whilst feeding get her to get a book and you can read it to her!
What else i find keeps the house quite is Playschool DD loves Playschool so putting on a DVD while you need to do something like cook dinner or bathing it keeps them quite!

Hang in there things do get better! :yelclap:

Me-27
DH-32
DD-21mths
DS-2mths

[House full of Princesses]

A close friend of mine has a 2.5yo daughter plus 6wk old TWIN daughters, and she was only just telling me yesterday that things are falling into place now, with a routine and everything, and 2.5yo DD is now much happier to sit and read a book with mum while she BF's. (At the start she was a bit like yours was)

It's still early days for you, and I'm sure you'll find things getting easier soon. :hugs:

[melbryan]

I am in exactly the same boat as you at the moment with a 2 yr old and a 2 week old and man it is hard.
I am told it gets easier but it doesn't help me right now though.
Fave dvd and feeding in front of the tv works for me. My son goes without naps most days which is hard and fights to fall asleep at night lots of screaming on his part. Whenever I get a free moment I give him a cuddle and kiss and play with him.
I am tired and breastfeeding like you means I get little sleep in the night which leaves me pretty exhausted in the day. DH goes back to work tomorrow and thank god for my babysitter 10 houses away looks like he will be going an extra day this so I can catch up on sleep.
Hope it works out for us both soon,

[pookiesossige]

Hey there and congrats!!!:yelclap:

Yep, it's pretty overwhelming. I have a three month old DD and a DS who is 26 months- so the same age gap as you described.

These are the things that helped me cope:

1- I had a couple of weeks with others around before I was on my own- just until the feeding began to settle down. Well, each feed still took an hour but by then I had more confidence in my ability to handle the two of them. My MIL, DH and mum were great, but I understand that this support isn't available to anyone. I just made the most of what was on offer- didn't knock any assistance back at all really.

2- Playschool DVD's for feed times

3- Special toys for feed times only

4- wet weather gear so that when I was feeding, I could stick placcie pants and boots on DS and send him out regardless of weather

5- I prepared snacks ahead- So that I could grab a plastic bowl that already had a selection of bisuits, rice cakes, sultana's etc. It meant I put up with less whinging from DS- I just gave him a bowl of snacks.

6- DH and I tried to keep DS's evening/bed routine the same- It seemed important to retain as much of this as poss because anything that was familiar seemed to provide comfort and security when everything else was changing.

7- kept routines that existed outside the home- ie Playgroup, days with in-laws/childcare (finances permitting) etc. These things have set rules/structure that help the toddler forget for a while that everything is so chaotic at home.

Sorry for the novel! Good luck!!

[WeThree]

Hi Jane, first, Congratulations on the birth of gorgeous Jasper (love love love his name btw ) :hugs:
Coops n Tilly are 18mths apart, so I can sympathise with you, at first I thought 'my gosh, how the hell am I going to do this?' but, like some of the other girls have said, I promise you it does get easier and you do start to get into a routine and get used to having to change 2 butts, clean 2 messy babies etc etc.
One thing I found invaluable when trying to sit and BF Tilly was having a box of toys in the corner of the loungeroom for Coops, now I would change the toys in it regulary and only bring it out when feeding Tilly, this way he was always keen to look through it and discover what was in it, this kept him quiet and also stopped him from leaving the room and going off and doing goodness knows what whilst I was basically immobile. I often added things like little handbags, containers with different odds and ends as well, maybe some old photos, not just toys, and this almost never failed to keep him amused.
Also encourage her to 'help' with small things, make her feel like she is special, Cooper liked this, but also liked to still be babied as well, even now he sometimes says 'me baby to' and you have to sit there and cuddle him and give him a bottle :rolleyes: but they need to be reassured that they are still your bubs as well.
Good luck, I know it is stressful, and seems like it is carrying on forever at the time, but believe me, it will fly by so fast. :yes:

[Denzkae]

My DS was 21 months when DD arrived and boy was it a challenge but 9 months on it does get easier! I found synching sleeps was not an option as DS doesn't sleep during the day. Best I could do was put on a DVD and just ignore the havoc he was wrecking whilst I was feeding. Just shut all the doors and put out of reach everything breakable and don't sweat it. Mostly they don't really get up to too much mischief and you can always pick up the peices later.

Sometimes he liked to watch DD feed but more often than not he would push her or hit her in frustration at losing my attention. I even asked my mother how she coped with my sister and I as we were only 19 months apart and she said I entertained myself happily. We both thought maybe boys were a little more challanging (or maybe just mine) LOL.
Anyway now we're on solids he will sit and eat with her and interacts a lot more with her. We still have some jealousy issues at times but he's cool now about the breastfeeding. As long as I'm in the room, he will play happily.

Oh yeah, we do get the occasional requests to be babied like asking for help to drink or eat when he can do both perfectly well by himself. I like to indulge him a bit then as it helps him feel a little bit more secure.

Just make sure you get a s much sleep as you can so you have the energy deal with each days challenges!

[grubindi]

i have found that with having 3 kids between 7 and 2 and a newborn they just want to help as in get wipes,nappies etc so the more they help the less likely it is they will play up. although that said my 2 youngest girls still play up at shopping and yes i take them with the newborn.i have found that i dont need to rely on DH.(he works night shift anyway so has to sleep during the day.

[MummyCharmzy]

i have found that with having 3 kids between 7 and 2 and a newborn they just want to help as in get wipes,nappies etc so the more they help the less likely it is they will play up. although that said my 2 youngest girls still play up at shopping and yes i take them with the newborn.i have found that i dont need to rely on DH.(he works night shift anyway so has to sleep during the day.

I find the exact same thing, the more we let DS aged3 and DSS aged4 help they better they are.

They were 2 and 3 when there first sister was born and 3 and 4 when there second sister arrived... they both LOVE helping, DS aged 3 especially... he just has to help with everything, even at kindy.. hes always the one packing things up, setting things up... etc lol It is much easier to let him help and then hes entertained and enjoying the attention, than not let him and then dealing with him sulking over it lol

IF ONLYYY things were that easy with a 13 month old :S

[Ky]

There is a 22 month age gap between my kids.

The thing I used to do was make sure that my dd was really involved with ds's care - it is amazing what they can do even though they are still so young!

I also made sure that dd's bedroom only had her bed, some safe toys, some safe books and activites in it and would put her into her room with a door barrier on it and tell her that "bubby and mummy need to have a snooze - I need you to play quietly for a while". She would play in her room while we had a sleep and when she decided she was tired enough (I always timed it around her sleep times) she would hop onto her bed after closing her door and have a 2-3 hour nap!

If I had had a really bad night with bub, I would make up a little snack plate of her favourite things (apple pieces, muesli bar, crackers etc and a drink) and put it just inside her door as I went back to bed in the wee small hours. I would also put the door barrier on and I would wake up to my little girl shouting out "thank you Mummy - all of my very own favourites!" and then she would contentedly play in her room for an extra hour or so before wanting to get out and about.

My kids are really great friends and have been from very young ... I think the best way to cope is to get them both into a routine that suits you! It may take a couple of days of resistance, but they will adapt very quickly.

The good thing about the second baby is that they seem to "know" that they need to fit into an existing routine and they seem to do this without much fuss and relatively quickly.

Any problems with jealousy need to be dealt with firmly but kindly and when bubs is asleep and you don't need to be napping - spend as much time as possible with your older child doing special things that you never do when bub is up or with any other kids.

Remember ... You are the Mum of a toddler and a new bub - a messy house should be the absolute least of your worries ... even if the housework doesn't get done ... if your kids are happy - you have won a huge victory! If anyone snipes about mess etc ... tell them they are welcome to help you if they are bothered by it!

My motto is .... I want my kids to remember a happy, fun and love filled childhood - not just a clean house!

[alicesmum]

no advice. just sympathy. i am in same boat. DS is 10 weeks old and DD is 24 mths old. so much fun!!!!!!!!

it is getting easier already tho i have to say.

just do what you have to to get through i reckon!

good luck! :thumbsup:

[sonlou73]

congrats on your bubba jasper - gorgeous name.

i know how you feel. but how fast time flies, i can't believe that DS2 is now 9 months, the first couple of months seemed like blur. DS1 was 16 months at the time, he is now 2.

anyway, i try to give them their naps at the same time (most days), whenever DS2 goes stir crazy i'd put on a dvd, he is now at the stage where he loves 'helping' & they're both interacting with each other, its so cute.

[PinkBinkie]

Scary thought that this will be me come January :eek:
I like the idea of the special one on one time. And I think I'll be stocking up on some kids DVDs also!! I'm attempting bf again with #2 and can't imagine how difficult this will be with my toddler running around!! I think bringing out special toys or games to entertain your toddler during busy times works really well. I do that now when Lucy is getting grouchy and I need to get her dinner ready or clean up. I have a big container filled with all her old bottles and containers which I let her play with plus my big bag of handbags and purses.

I hope life returns to normal for you soon :sleeping:
Sleep depriviation is great isn't it??!! :D
Good luck!

[PinkBinkie]

Kyra - brilliant advice!! What a wonderful mummy you are. And it's true, kids don't remember if mummy did the housework for most of the day. They remember what games mummy played with them and the special things that mummy only did with them.