Just wanted to pour my heart out a little

[Priscilla]

I have decided to try CC on my 11mth DS who has been driving me up the wall with his constant night wakings.

CC is my last resort and I am having a really hard time with it. I started this morning with his first nap. He was very overtired as it had been four hours since he woke up and fell asleep after 1.5 hours of CC techniques. Although difficult, it was a relief as I'd tried CC on previous occasions and on those attempts, Cameron was still crying after 1.5hours. Anyway, he slept for one hour and 20 mins.

In the afternoon, he fell asleep in the car but woke when I tried to bring him into the house. So I started CC again, but my father went in and picked him up when I wasn't looking, so that went out the window.

During his dinner, he fell asleep as DP was holding up a book to distract him so I can feed him (he's on solids). I thought "wow! one morning of CC and success so soon!" So I put him into bed but he woke after half hour. I then applied CC techniques he's just fallen asleep after 1.5hours.

I feel like the wicked witch of the west. Towards the end, each time I went in there and pat him, he'll lay down straight away and close his eyes but as soon as I get up to walk out, he starts up again nice and loud. I know all he wanted was for me to continue patting him, or better still to pick him up and I SO SO SO wanted to. My eyes are now swollen from my own crying.

Do any of you have any tips on how to make this period easier??????

I have read alot of the threads here (past and current threads) and I'm hoping that my experience with CC this time round will be successful. I seems so much easier when reading about it - the crying times decrease drastically as do the amount of times they wake. I hope that's the case with Cameron.

How did you all cope with the guilt? How did all your DPs/DHs help? Cameron only wants me - not even my DH, and that's adding to the difficulty as well as I don't have anyone to help me go in to calm Cameron. DP gives me cuddles and reassurance, but I can't help but feel 1)like it's not enough help and then 2)guilty for feeling that way since it's not DP's fault that Cameron only wants me.....

I'm clinging onto the hope that it's just going to be for a few more nights.....

[Fleurger]

we have just gone through this ourselves and i know how awful it is but believe me it does work in the end. i was getting up and feeding our 10 month old every 2 hours since he was born and was absolutely exhausted and not enjoying it at all. the best thing i did was get good advice. if you are in queensland you can call the Riverton centre 24 hours a day on 3862 2333 and speak to the excellent health nurses. i'm sure there must be other ones around australia. make sure you are consitant if this is the choice you have made. our baby now sleeps all night and sleeps much better during the day and our kids even had a sleep over at their family day care mums house the other night so we could go out and we could never have done that before. i was even going to give up breastfeeding because i was sick of getting up to him. he now goes in his cot and smiles at me when i put him down and goes to sleep, its like he really embraces sleep time now. it did take time however and by about 7 days i was really, really stressed about it as he still wasn't settling so rang and got more advice to feed him more during the day and that worked excellent. i'm sure whoever invented it was some sadistic but by god it does work, i was so totally against it for a long time and was just desperate. if you are not getting the support then get everyone else to move out for a few days while you sort it out. i kicked hubby and 3 year old downstairs for a few days as i'm sure that you have to keep justifying it to them as well and feel guilty. i have not noticed any change in behaviour or resentment from bub either, i think he is actually happier because he is getting more sleep. remember to keep at it otherwise it will confuse him and make it worse as he will cry louder each time becasue he knows you will come and get him. keep it up, you will survive!

[Goosie22]

Hi,
Just reading through your post made me think, have you tried the method of CIO which has you sit in your childs room while they settle(you get up and lay them down each time they get up and say sleep time)?

Maybe as your baby is taking such a long time to settle this might give him the reasurance your are still visable and close at hand, but that you still have the expectation of him staying in the cot and laying down by himself. As he gets the idea that you are not going and he relaxes, you could move you chair further away untill you are out of sight.

[Priscilla]

Thank you Fleurger for your support!! Your story is one I needed to hear but... it took you SEVEN DAYS?!?!?!?!? OMG........... OK, I will really try to perservere. I have taken down the Riverton number and will give them a call tomorrow to see if they have any advice for me. It's been three days now, and it's still going well. I am cc'ing all the day naps as well as the night time sleeps - all except for the wakings which occur between 3-5am. I've just been putting him on the boob... I know I may be taking a couple of steps backwards here but I feel terrible about the noise since our neighbours have got very young kids of their own. Tonight, he fell asleep after nine (count 'em!) minutes!!! I must try not to get excited so early as I'm sure I'll jinx myself!!!

Goosie22 - Yes I have tried CIO before (what does it stand for, btw?) but it's doesn't seem to work for Cameron because I found that me being in the wrong only causes him to get more worked up and cranky that I'm not picking him up. Having said that though, I am still going in at 10min intervals and after about the second time I go in there, he'll lay down quietly to sleep. Of course, I have to go back out which makes him cry again but he really does get tired and drops off; whereas when I was in there the whole time, he cried for 2.5 hours and was STILL going strong :gloomy:

I actually have a few more questions, but I will start a new thread for that....
thank you to the both of you for you advice and suggestions!!!

[Goosie22]

CIO is CRY IT OUT some people like to call it Controlled Crying or Controlled comforting.

Which CIO schedule are you getting 10 min intervals from?

[Priscilla]

The way I've been doing it is:

1. Put C in his cot with some soft music playing and say "night night, I love you"
2. Walk out and wait 1 minute
3. Go in and pat for five minutes
4. After five minutes, I say "night night, I love you" and walk out
5. Wait 10 minutes
6. Go in and pat for 10 minutes
7. After 10 minutes I say "night night, I love you" and walk out

I basically then repeat steps 5-7 until he's asleep. In the beginning, when I walk in he's usually standing up so I just lay him down and then I quickly sit down next down next to the cot (like you suggested). I put my arm through the cot bars and pat his bottom. He usually sits up so i pat as close to his bottom as I can. I also keep my face pretty close the bars so he knows I am right there but I face the end of the cot so he see my profile.

I really don't understand why there is a need to some many different names for this because it's all basically the same thing, isn't it? Not sure if you can tell my tone but I really don't like CC. I know I'm being a hypocrite since I am going through with it. I do think it's cruel and have always believed it to be more natural to wait until bubs is old enough to understand things like "close your eyes and lay still" to teach them to sleep. However, it is working for us as I am seeing results. I hate myself for doing this to Cameron but I really feel like I've got no other choice......

[Goosie22]

I dont think you need to hate yourself:hugs: .
I dont like CIO either, I'm sure you know that. I'm not trying to make it harder for you.

Why do you feel you have no other choice? I dont doubt you would get results as it is a type of learned behaviour to the child: to sleep with no other choice.

I have not tried CIO with my children as I, like you felt it was better to wait till they were older and they could understand. It does work its a matter of making do with a child who needs your understanding and presence to help him learn. Motherhood is such a steep learning curve, have confidence in yourself to make the right descions and seeking support.